Teeth and Armpit Atrocities

This gem sat posted on my fridge for a couple of weeks.

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David, HD, and Hadley made no comment about it.  Sadly.  And can we not all admit the spider web illustration is worthy of note?

Kate, full of sass and 18 year old-ness, stood with her hand on her hip:  MOM.  Did you SERIOUSLY put this on the fridge?

Me: Looks like it.

Kate:  SERIOUSLY?

Me:  Yup.  It is on the fridge and I put it there.

And then she sighed and walked off.  It must be tragic to have to live with a mother such as I.

LD went to the fridge, presumably to get his 17th snack for the afternoon.  He stared at it and read it out loud, in a monotone 7th grader boy voice.

“You have been my friend.  That in itself is a tremendous thing.  I wove my webs for you because I liked you.”

Then he thought and stared and thought and stared.

LD:  Ma!  Is this supposed to be funny or sad?  I don’t get it.

So there you have it.

Because I want to drag out the end of the school year and keep feeling all sad that it is over, I feel the need to share this photo with you of myself and Gretchen.

Gretchen is the kiddo who made me the Best Teacher Ever button.

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I wore it all day yesterday, shamelessly bragging to my fellow teacher pals about how I had been declared “best teacher ever” and they, sadly, had not.

She came to drop off her things and say goodbye.  I told her I was so excited she was here because I was wearing my favorite button.

G’s mom:  Ohmygoodness.  I told her not to give that to you.

Me:  Why not?  It is the best gift I have ever gotten from a kiddo.  Absolutely precious.

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Little Miss G is moving across the country and I am not sure if I will ever see her again.

Bleeding hearts of the world, unite.

Anyways.  I don’t know if I have mentioned this before, but middle school boys can be gross in nature.  I live in constant fear of the state of their teeth and armpits and the atrocities that can build up in each location.

Me to LD: I need you to brush your teeth.

LD:  Got it, Mom.

Me:  No.  No, I do not think you “got it.”  I want you to stand really close to the mirror and smile and stare at your teeth.  Then I want you to think of the cutest girl you have ever seen and that she is about to kiss you.  I want your teeth to look good enough for that scenario.

LD:  Got it.

So he went and brushed his teeth.  Or so I am inclined to believe.  Because, really, I never truly know what that child is doing.

He was headed out the door for school.

Me:  DUDE!  Did you brush your teeth?

LD:  Yeah.

Me:  Would the cutest girl at school be ok with kissing you with your teeth looking the way the day right now?

LD:  Yeah.

Me:  Under no circumstances may you kiss any girls today, Bud.

LD:  Got it.

Our dogs are crazy and want to murder all birds.  I am putting my foot down and am determined to once again have chickens living in my cute coop.

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I mean.  Look at it.  The sign alone is sure to envoke envy.

Anyways, our crazy dogs keep trying to eat chickens.  Sometimes they are successful.  But I am getting better and better at this and I know that in the end, I shall prevail.

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They just make me happy.

Maisy’s calf is cute.  We are choosing to believe she is a girl so we can keep her.

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And that would be ideal.

Happy Friday

 

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2 Responses to Teeth and Armpit Atrocities

  1. Beth says:

    You can do anything.

  2. Wendy says:

    Poor little chickens. Maisy and her calf are so cute. Blessings.

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