Do you ever have a hard time trying to figure out how to start a blog post?
Me neither.
So, this weekend was a super busy one. There is this massive yard sale that happens once a year in the regions about which we live. The entire town has their yard sales on one day. It’s genius, I tell ya. So, we loaded up the lumberjacklings at 6:30am and headed off to find our deals.
David bought nothing, because nothing tickled his fancy. Mainly because there was nothing with large motors and oil and wires and drills and pans and saws and horns and camo and whatnot. I purchased my usual items: clothing for children and other junk I think the kids need, but they really don’t.
We joined up with some peeps for the yard sale. David’s sister, Lisa, offered to take Little Dude with her to the bathroom at one point when she was taking her 2 year old. I looked at her like she was an insane, crazy person and said:
“Yes, please!”
She was gone FOR-EV-ER. I learned that she had to take them to an outhouse, which means I need to buy Lisa a Starbucks post haste. When she returned, she looked a little frazzled, which was to be expected. But then she informed me that she had accidentally dropped Little Dude’s shoe into the toilet, as in the outhouse toilet, as in DISGUSTING, OH MY GOODNESS, SO GROSS, NASTINESS.
She assured me to not worry because she was able to retrieve it.
*GASP*
She stuck her arm down an outhouse toilet to save my son’s shoe, of which he will probably grow out of next week anyways.
Let us all have a moment to commemorate the courageous and thrifty spirit of my sister in law, Lisa.
*Thank you*
Later that evening, we walked down yonder country road to the bison ranch.
Yes.
I live near a bison ranch.
Do you?
The Bison Rancher Peoples were having a BBQ and invited peoples from all around to feast at their ranch.
Do not worry, dear readers. I did not try any meat, because I did not know what animal the meat came from. And there were no labels. And I’m not going to eat bison, I’ll tell you that right now.
The Bison Rancher Peoples are nice, friendly peoples and the kids had a blast. They were able to take rides on the horse.
Sweet Pea
Little Dude and Daisy Mae.
Things to notice:
1) Daisy Mae had just purchased that hat at the garage sales earlier that day. Despite my instructions that she needed to launder it before wearing it, as you can see, she elected to not heed my advice and donned the grody garage sale hat and all the germs it may or may not have contained.
2) I tried to prevent it, but I have four children and I no longer have time to care.
I wash my hands of it.
3) I put this picture on The Facebooks and my dearheart friend, who shall remain nameless, told me that my son looked like Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber.
I am shunning her. Until I get tired of shunning her.
I shan’t tell you who it was, because I am above such pettiness and wouldn’t want you all to shun her as well.
In an effort to de-Lloyd-ify my son, I tried to make him look all snazzy this morning for church.
It’s obvious I’ve missed my calling in life.
Oh, look! A random hanger lying on my floor!
That’s weird.
I’m usually the epitomy of togetherness.
After church today, we went to an appreciation BBQ for children’s ministry.
Because we serve in children’s ministry and we need to be appreciated.
Oh, yes. We do.
David was talking with some other manly-men about boats and motors and other dreadfully boring matters. I took the three eldest over to the water park feature thingie and he was in charge of Little Dude.
So, as I was happily chatting away with a friend, you can imagine my shock when I saw a pasty-white boy, who looked remarkably like Little Dude, in camo underwear strutting his stuff around the water park.
I hurried over and apologized to the group of ladies that he was obviously trying to impress.
Ladies: It’s ok, honey. We did help him put his underwear on, though. We thought he shouldn’t be naked.
*oh, dear*
It’s a good thing David and I serve in children’s ministry at church. Obviously the children at church are left in good, capable hands.
Oh, stop, readers!
I’m sure your kids have also stripped naked at the church BBQ.
Get off your high horses.
I can’t BELIEVE someone would say that!!
(un-shun)
I can’t believe this is what it takes for you to actually leave a comment on my blog.
(re-shun)
too funny, girls!
Ha ha ha ha!!!
Your blog seriously cracks me up 🙂
Have fallen off my high horse – laughing!!!
If I ever meet Lisa, I am NOT shaking hands with her.
ditto that
Oh my goodness, Lisa is too nice! I would have left that shoe there for all eternity.
I mean, it’s LD’s fault anyway, for having to take all of his clothes off to go potty.
Did Lisa know that before she volunteered?
I think you might need to up it to a Starbucks gift card.
thank you for my morning laugh! Love seeing a blog update reminder thingy right away in the morning, it makes me a much happier mom the rest of the day 🙂 Lisa definantly needs a starbucks gift card! I would have left the shoe to rot. 😉 camo underwear? why would he be wearing anything else? I fear you have been converted to the darkside Taylor. you do purchase the underwear for the Lumberjacklings, right? lol!
Lisa is definitely to be commended and rewarded. Those frugal Mali-blah-blah apples don’t fall far from the tree, do they?
Awesome Little Dude story. Awesome. (Mostly because it was not my child, hehe.)
Buffalo meat is so much healthier than beef…although I eat beef more than buffalo. Funny about the running around naked at the church BBQ…what were you thinking, letting your hubs in charge when they were talking motors, heavy equipment and camo? Yes, hubs tend to not pay attention sometimes. Loved the story! I think I would have BOUGHT him a new pair of shoes at the garage sale! 🙂 Hope your week is as much fun as your week end.
Okay, I’m off my high horse! 🙂 Holla!!!
*Sigh*
I’d eat Bison over elk any day!
I love your family. Haha. This entire post was too funny. 🙂
I’m SO jealous of your neighboring bison ranch. I want a bison ranch! Bison is SO much healthier than beef. Just think, if the Lumberjack gets on the bison wagon, you might end up with a bison in your freezer. That would be fun! 🙂 Hee hee. Just teasing you.
I cannot believe Lisa dug that shoe out. Starbucks will not suffice. Wow. I would have left it there, and bought him new shoes. Or at least said I would buy him new shoes and waited for you to say, “Oh no, that will not be necessary!”
The bison meat would only be as good as the lock on the freezer door. 😉
LOL…such funny stuff!! Uhmmm why was he naked? I missed that part!
We forgot swimsuits for the kids and we were just letting them go in their clothes. But since Little Dude was late to the swim part, he didn’t know that and just decided to get naked. 🙂
Wow – what amazes me is that when I see you at church, you look so together – the absolute “Martha Stewart” of a homemaker and mother. Who would ever have a clue that such “uncontrolled” episodes occur in your life……….keep smiling Taylor!
I am taking an unauthorized break from packing/cleaning, hiding with the laptop. I wandered to your blog, and you made me laugh. I needed to laugh. It has been a very long week. Thank you!
Awesome Taylor! LDs story had me laughing really hard! Lisa should definately be offered a Starbucks gift card good for at least 3 frappuccino’s 🙂
I personally would have said that the shoe got lost “somewhere” It would TOTALLY still be in that outhouse. LOL
Ok – just have to say that bison is actually pretty good and healthy to boot. I hope I will not offend you with the suggestion to try it because I would certainly not enjoy being shunned.
How did I miss your son in his underware ?? Im sure glad Fisher didn’t see him naked otherwise there would have surely been two pasty boys running around in the buck ..one sayin gentle gentle …(shudder)
Ps Im going to miss you on Sunday mornings 🙁
Okay, the whole post is just funny! I’ve shared your blog with some of my other homeschooling mom friends and we are all enjoying it. Bison is really good by the way. And I think a little better for you than beef. Becca 🙂
Too funny about little dude… I have a little streaker in my family too. The lengths I go to in order to keep that girl clothed!
Oh the things I miss by ignoring blogging for a day or two! I must say that there’s nothing wrong with LD wearing camo underwear. Now if you take to camo underwear, we might start worrying.
My child decided to climb up on the 2 foot high brick wall that surrounded the flower boxes at the front of the church. Then he yanked his pants down and began “watering” the flowers, with his little white bum glowing towards all the traffic driving by. The things kids will do to get you to change churches!
The things you encounter in your life would send me over the edge. Thank you Lord, really and truly, thank you, that you have not called me to be the wife of a rural-living Lumberjack, and that my children’s shoes do not fall down into outhouses.
I am now waiting anxiously to see what God decides to do with our family now that I just said that.
My son did step in a maggoty fish, and my sweet friend took his shoes home and cleaned them up for me. Then I washed them in a hot soapy load myself. I do not think I could ever put poopy shoes back on my kid. I’d rather the kid go barefoot. That is saying something. I don’t do the barefoot thing either.
(Yes, I am a nutcase. Thank you.)
I have GOT to stop reading your blog after I put my kids to bed when all I want to do is LAUGH OUT LOUD LONGLY (is that a word) and I can’t because I am stifling it so as not to wake the the beasts! One day I will get to laugh and laugh LOUDLY I tell you!
When my beautiful child was seen for the first time by a friend she said he looked like ET. Nice. Everyone knows he looks like Johnny Depp. I would eat bison before I’d ever eat deer or elk. Just sayin…