Do you ever get the urge to just drive to the city and sign all your kids up for school?
Me neither. That’s crazy talk.
In other news, Little Dude has broken two pairs of Handsome Dude’s glasses in the past two days. Because he is well-behaved and even-tempered. One of the pairs was the new ones that David had bought Handsome Dude, against my will. The seller of said glasses boasted that these glasses would be:
Indestructable!
Childproof!
Little Dude-proof!
But, alas. They are all bent and a lens is missing. I would show you a picture, but David, being the rockstar that he is, took them with him to the big city to get all fixed up.
Apparently, no glasses are a match for a boy who gets miffed when big brother takes away the BIG truck.
Take that Handsome Dude! Hi-Ya!
I went to pick Handsome Dude up at the bus stop yesterday. A teacher rides with the preschoolers to and from school. This warms my heart as I have always maintained a Safety First! motto in life. (I still cut my kids’ grapes. Mmmm-hmmm) But anyways, as I was standing near the bus door, the teacher called to me:
“Um. He is pretending to sleep and won’t get up. Can you come and get him?”
So, I had to get on the bus (which has car seats! oh be still my safety-loving heart!) and locate my Handsome Dude. He was fake-sleeping, and I know he was fake-sleeping because he was giggling and peeking and snoring all at the same time. And when I went to pick him up, since he was too “asleep” to actually stand, his body went all limp. Which was convenient.
Isn’t he just precious?
I wonder if they think he is all there, you know? I mean, the boy calls the bus The Magic School bus and says gross food makes him sausage and he likes to eat mac and cheese, which is really slices of cheddar. Oh, and he also enjoys “silly-roll.”
100,000,000 (meaningless) points to anyone who can figure out what Handsome Dude means when he asks for “silly-roll.”
Put on your thinking caps! I know you can do it!
Flies! Flies are attacking me! What is the life span of a fly, I ask you? Because these flies need to die. I am happy to report that I killed all the fruit flies. I made my own trap! Because I live in the country and must do strange things like heed warnings from my neighbor Jungle, breed rabbits (not that they need help with the breeeding. hardy har har), and make homemade fruit fly traps.
Speaking of rabbits, and I know you love hearing about the rabbits don’t lie, Sweet Pea walked up to me the other day and showed me this page out of the “Rabbits for Dummies” book.
Before we continue, I must warn you that the following picture should be flagged for adult content.
Proceed with caution.
Are you ready?
I am still giving you time to delete my blog from your life.
It’s ok. I will understand.
OK.
Here is the page that my CHILD shoved in my face:
I KNOW! I nearly died a thousand deaths. I am sorry, but I just had to share the horror. How does my tiny baby girl know how to find such things in books?
She was like “Mom? Remember when we were at the fair and you couldn’t tell if the rabbit was a girl or a boy? This could help you!”
I told you people it wasn’t so easy to tell the gender of a rabbit. When will you ever listen to me?
But in case you needed to know, here are the surefire steps in determining a rabbit’s gender. According to Rabbits for Dummies. Of which I am. A dummy.
1) Gently place the rabbit on his back in your lap.
Creepy.
2) Using your thumb and forefinger (ew), spread apart the hair on the-
And that’s just where we are going to stop. Because I DO NOT WANT to spread apart any hair. Thank you.
I am trying to be my husband’s “help meet” with this whole rabbit business. But, honestly. That is just wrong. I prefer the good old “guess and check” method for rabbit gender discovery.
Did it give birth? Girl. Check.
Oh! David just called! Because he loves me and misses me and needed to hear my singsong voice.
Actually, he was just asking for me to bring the food ads when I come to town so we can go shopping for his upcoming hunt/camp trip. He is a frugal lumberjack.
Yes. He feels the need to leave me and my lovely self for a week so he can go fill our freezer up with more elk. Because that’s just what we need around here.
More elk.
Could we be any weirder?
But, I digress. I asked him if he could email me a picture of the obliterated glasses with his intellectual phone. And he did!
My girls are currently doing Wii fit, which reminds me that I have not Zumba-d today. So, I am thinking about exercising here now in a bit before I don my pears and go to town.
Alert: I am just thinking about it.
And I don’t have pearls.
PS- Silly-Roll! Define it! Go!
PPS- My girls just asked me if I was born in 1974. *tear*
For a second I really pondered what don my pearls could mean, but then I noticed right below said pearls. I have no idea what a silly roll is! I blame kids, work, life for not being able to come up with something. As far as the rabbit whooty finder information, I think you have the right idea. Wait til they have a baby, and if they don’t then assume it’s a boy. I loved the pictures of Little Dude in the mirror!
On the bright side I do believe you’ve covered science for the day : )
I think you are definitely due some pearls!
A tootsie roll? We have Zumba for the Wii and it is fun.
Not a tootsie roll. 🙂
A fruit roll up. They are wee yummy.
They are wee yummy! But that is not what it is. 🙂
Cinnamon Roll?
Cereal????
I’m with Rachel.
My guess is cinnamon roll as well.
I was CRACKING UP, and I’m pretty sure a mom just looked at me funny, passing by my office, as I was laughing hysterically over the “Did it give birth? Girl. Check.” portion of your post. Oh my goodness! Did you know you do the same with hamsters??? It’s how my mom found out that I had a boy and girl hamster in the cage instead of 2 girls when I was 8. You should hear my “Oh gee, Kim, I don’t know HOW all those baby hamsters just disappeared” story. Not for the faint of heart!
I don my pear every day. It’s called my body shape.
🙂
HAH!
ha! ha!
Oh man! That was good! LOL
OH.
MY.
GOSH.
(also I have not said anything before, but I have a friend whose kids all wear glasses, and she says that plastic frames are the way to go. Way sturdier than metal. ‘Course, she doesn’t know the Dudes, but I thought I’d pass it on)
California roll?
yeah… probably not huh… He doesn’t strike me as a sushi eater.
By the way…
Your rabbit porn is disturbing! 🙂
I am speechless with amazement at this post. 🙂 Holla!!!! 🙂 🙂
p.s. I know not of the roll of which you speak.
silly roll = cereal ?
He is asking for cereal!
And I am really glad I do not have rabbits, or pets of any kind for that matter! Because I do not want to be spreading any hair on anything to find out if it is male or female!
And oh my goodness I would have died if my daughter would have shown me that page in the book.
Oh, and I cracked up at the picture of Little Dude in the mirror. I have a son his age and that is so something he would do standing in front of the mirror. So cute.
You are too funny! Is it cereal?
OMG what is the homemade fruitfly trap? The flies, they plague me too!
And I guess Silly Putty.
And so concludes any and all interest I may have ever had in rabbits thankyouverymuch. I keep trying to poke out my minds eye. It’s not working.
So silly roll…. is it toilet paper?
I was with you through all of the post, (although silly roll got me), until you said you were going to ‘don your pears’…..I now see that it was a typo. But with you and your crazy family, you never know!
Could a silly roll be about rolling on the ground, giggling?
Whenever I start to feel like there is too much chaos in my life I pop over to see what you are up to… I always feel much better after reading it… The glasses thing would kill me!
I was gonna vote cereal, but since everyone else thought the same thing, I feel so unoriginal…
Please share your fruit fly trap thingy wit us… We are plagued with them this year… Of course your problem with them could be all those pears you ave lying around for your trips to town…
Oh. My. Goodness. We will soon join the rabbit owner club. My eldest is going to raise and show them in the county fair. Did you hear the excitement? Did you? Did you? I think determining the gender of a rabbit falls under the category of Dad’s job! It’s so good to be the Mom because I get to decide which jobs fall under that category!
I love love love that he was fake sleeping on the bus. Laughing, snoring, sleeping at the same time IS hilarious. What a great kid!
I’m going to go scrub my eyeballs now.
My vote is cereal, and you confused me when you said don your pears and head into town. I was like…huh? I usually am out of the loop but felt better when you repeated it as pearls! Ha Ha Ha!
Cereal. Pears? I read up a little on sexing a rabbit and I learned it’s nearly impossible to determine unless animal is a little older and hormones are kicking in.
To answer your very first question:
There are morings when I look ever so longingly at the school bus as it drives by, wondering if it would indeed kill me to put them on it. Is that bad?
Hi Taylor!
I love your blog! As a homeschooling mom of 5 you amuse me much!
I have been reading you for a while now but have never commented before. But I just had to pass this tip on but you probably know of it already. I have heard you can get complete pairs of glasses for under $10/pair from http://www.zennioptical.com/#. I have not ordered from them personally, am not affiliated with them, know nothing of them really other than I read about them on one of the frugal blog/message board I read and whoever posted it said they have excellent value and customer service. So I thought I’d just pass it along to you because I feel sorry for your checkbook with all problems you have with handsome dude and his glasses.
And I’m thinking silly-roll=cereal?
silly roll equals cereal and it makes me sausage is nuaseas….greg jr speaks toddler and I’m not quite sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing but I will go with the latter.
Yes please! Fruit fly trap instructions are needed? I’ve tried the rubberband-saranwrap-over-cup-of-fruit-and-punch-holes-in-it trap and it worked pretty well. Until the last time when I caught nothing. Maybe the flies are evolving and getting smarter than me . . .
Your blog is the best thing that happened to me today.
Here’s another FRUIT FLY TRAP:
pour some apple cider vinegar in a mug. Squirt some dishwashing liquid in the cup. Fill up to the top with water so that it bubbles. They are attracted by the vinegar and then get stuck in the soapy bubbles and BYE BYE!
Silly is how I roll. That’s what he meant to say, I’m sure of it. Holla, yo.
I’m going to guess silly roll is a Swiss Roll because my teenager is on a Little Debbie kick.
You guys know WAY too much about the private parts of rabbits! Although, I must admit that I do know how to discover the gender of an alligator…and it involves much more than parting hair to look. Let me just say, it is wee disturbing. That is all.
now i am scarred for life, thnx taylor! that was way more than i ever needed to see of a rabbits danger zone!! i’m gonna go rinse my eyes out with alcohol or something!! mmkkkbye….
I was born in 1974…and now I’m 37 years old. Talk about *tear*. 😛