I ended up getting sick. Let us all have a moment of pity for me.
Thank you.
Luckily, I fell ill during the weekend whilst my noble husband was home. Snow fell the entire day on Saturday. This completely ruined Mr. Lumberjack’s life. You see, dear readers, Mr. Lumberjack needs to be doing something. And that something has to be ridiculous . . . or, to him, it is not worth doing at all.
Oh, sure. I had several ideas for things we could do.
Spring cleaning?
Organize our important papers?
Go through the closets?
No. He will have none of it.
On Sunday, however, the snow ceased to fall. And a world of possibilities opened up for him. Regrettably, Sunday was the day I felt the worst. Like the kind man that he is, he sent me off to bed and said he was taking the kids outside.
To do what, you ask? I simply cannot say. I’ve learned, dear readers, that it is best not to inquire of such things. For I usually won’t approve and will spend the rest of the day bemoaning the fact that we are now truly hillbillies.
As I was “resting,” the children came in one by one, each slamming the door and leaving a trail of muddy boots and wet jackets behind them. A couple of hours went by and my Lumberjack had not come in.
It was well-past lunch time and I, the poor sick dear that I was, had to get up and feed the children. I was a bowl full of sunshine as I pulled out some leftovers, left them on the counter and said,
“These are your choices. I am making nothing else and you are eating nothing else until dinner.”
Because I am warm and loving, didn’t you know? I tried looking out the window to ascertain what in the world my husband was doing. I could hear the bulldozer and deduced that he was plowing the driveway. And that, dear readers, is fine and nothing to get in a huff about. Even if I was sickly.
As I was doing the dishes, I looked out the window and noticed this:
My husband’s truck wench working ueber hard to pull something up.
And I went back to doing dishes. Because, dear readers, this is life here. I was not surprised in the least to see my husband had gotten himself stuck somewhere. Then I had to laugh that I thought it was completely normal to see such a site.
I followed the line to see what my manly man was up to on such a lovely Sunday afternoon.
The dozer. Of course. But why, pray tell, is my husband bull dozing the back 40 and not the driveway?
I know not.
As he was trying to pull the dozer out of the snow, I noticed the dozer tipping. I totally thought it was going to fall over and crush him. But every time I rush out there with my safety concerns, he laughs at my foolishness and says:
“Yeah. Whatever, Teller.”
So, I went back to sweeping. As per my usual custom.
As I was cleaning and feeling generally sorry for myself, Sweet Pea, bless her heart, entertained the boys with stories, songs, and prayer time. Because she is trying to do a better job than I, apparently, with the rearing of the boys.
That’s Little Dude praying. His prayers are pretty cute and usually just involve a rundown of the day.
“And thank you-thank you that we go ‘side. And eat wunch. And read books. And Mommy not talking to us? And A-men.”
Ha! And mommy not talking to us . . . Poor boy. My throat hurt! I did not want to talk!
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I noticed new sounds coming from my husband’s giant playground.
He hath loosed himself from the treacherous snow and was off to do . . . whatever it is he was doing. Which was certainly not plowing, since that is nowhere near the driveway my friends.
You see him looking at me? That is not the look of loving adoration, which is how he usually looks at me. Nay. It is a look that says:
“Why on earth must this woman photograph and record every mundane detail of our lives?”
But I care not. I have not left the house in 8 days and I need SOMETHING to do.
I think he is trying to level the land so we can prepare it for chickens. Because, have you heard? We are totally making the switch to complete and utter country folks. It was inevitable, folks.
***
Later he came inside.
David: Why aren’t you in bed?
Me: Um . . . we have four kids? They need care?
David: Well, I will take care of them. Go to bed.
Me: What are you doing out there?
David: I thought I was a gone-er.
Me: Why?
David: Did you see the dozer? It almost fell on me!
Marrying David. Not for the faint of heart.
***
In other news . . . I saw this humorous little thing and put it on my sister’s Facebook wall and tagged my mother in it.
Because it exactly like being in their house. And usually, we have to call Meagan, aka MegaTech, to let us know what my parents’ passwords are.
Amazingly, mother saw this on the Facebook and wrote:
“What’s WIFI?”
Now, dear readers, I do not know if she was serious or not, but it was epic.
Happy Monday!
ROFLMBO @ your epic mother…gotta love ’em, internet challenged and all….I recently had to walk my mother thru how to comment on someones facebook status…the challenge…she lives in Australia and I live in Florida (and apparently no one in the family that lives in the same town could show her how to do this)…the funnest part was trying to get her to understand the difference between Outlook express and Internet Explorer.
As for husbands, it is the Davids we must suffer…Oh yer sure there are coffee cups etc that say the name means “Beloved blah blah blah”….but they do insist on doing “manly stuffs” and almost kill themselves and call it taking care of the young ones….
Hope you are feeling better soon.
Kelsie
PS: Love the pray circle, you are truly blessed to have that sweet big sister.
PSS: Congrates on the chickens, make sure you get cute one…Araucanas/Americanas (also known as easter eggers) Lay green, blue and various other weird colored eggs and are super cute and fluffy faced….the eggs btw taste just like regular eggs and go great with elk meat I believe hehehe
Men. Make. Terrible. Caretakers.
Hope you’re feeling better today.
HAHA! You are SO right!
I had tears coming from laughing so hard. That wifi comment is so my parents. Every time I go to their home I know its going to be a huge deal to get their password. My stepdad read somewhere, and if I find out who wrote it I will beat them, that you shouldnt have all your passwords be the same thing. So he makes a new password for everything. Can he remember any of them, no he cannot. Does he write them down, again no he does not. So he will just make a new account, with another password, that he will not remember. And he has somehow mistaken me for tech support. Always calling me and saying how do I do, fix, find, such and such on my computer. I have a younger brother, the boy is a math genius, he has two degrees in some blah blah technology thing that makes my eyes glaze over when he talks about it. Does my stepdad call him to ask these question, you guessed it no he does not. You know why, because I am the only one who will not call him an idiot and tell him to sell the computer before he hurts himself lol, till he hangs up anyway.
“Why aren’t you in bed?” I love that.
Kelsie’s description of those cute chickens and colorful eggs just about tips me over the edge in getting some.
Hope you’re feeling better today!
Wifi? Totally Funny
Man at work? Awesome except for the mistaken belief that the kids would be fine without him.
Prayer circle pic? uber sweet
You being sick? Stinks!
Hope you were feeling better before things got totally irredeemable!
Only you could write such an amusing post when you’re not well! Your family’s ace. Hope you’re feeling better?
Hope you’re feeling better today Taylor! I think I’ve said it before, but your family’s adventures remind me so much of my childhood – I was homeschooled, and when I was 11 my family moved from the city to rural Iowa, where we raised goats, chickens and cattle. I have great memories of it, and I’m sure your family will too – it is quite hillbilly-ish at times though, is it not? 🙂
Hope you are feeling better Teller!
That prayer circle is just too precious, so sweet.
I am kinda happy that my parents don’t have internet and wifi, my mother does however have a BlueRay DVD player and BlueRay Dvds… And well with their new HD tv, every time they want to watch said BlueRay DVD player, they have to call us because they cannot remember how to switch from one input to the other. Fun times.
Imagine though, we will be the same with our children later on…
I love that he had to be reminded you had four kids to care for before he offers to take care of them and sends you back to bed. Begs the question: Who ARE these four little people running around the house?!
Feel better. And don’t let LJ flip that dozer. Yikes! My hubs would love to come visit and dig something or burn something or chop something down.
I love that poster! My mom’s voice mail box on her phone is currently full (again? Still?) When I told her she needed to empty it so I could leave messages she said she didn’t know how. I said give me your pw and I’ll do it. According to her she doesn’t have one. Right. I deciphered her computer pw for her home computer and I periodically go on and empty her in box for her from the convenience of my own home. When I tried to tell her how to do it over the phone she informed me there was no delete button on HER computer.
Course I’m sure my girls could tell stories on me but I do know all my pw! And the meaning of Wifi!
Hahaha, at the parents and wifi thing. Yeah, mine know their password, but I know several people who fit in this category.
Your daughter is SO precious. What a sweetie.
Isn’t that just like a man? What are you doing out of bed? Uh, I don’t know? Perhaps caring for the children you’ve blessed me with? They don’t care for themselves without making huge messes!!! This is when I tell them to turn the tv on, and NOT TOUCH ANYTHING. Just watch tv. Haha. I’m a great mom.
I laughed out loud when he asked why you were out of bed… It brings back so many memories…
I am always impressed with how men “take care of the kids” while we’re sick… whilst you are “in bed” fixing their lunch he is out on the dozer trying to do who knows what… men do make terrible caretakers of children… I do hope you’re feeling better!
And the prayers – that’s just too stinkin cute – my kids love it when mommy isn’t talking to them too – only that’s because they’re teenagers and I don’t have anything of any value at all to say. 🙂
“Why aren’t you in bed?” huh larious do you recall broken heads? broken legs? kids dropped on pavement; sliding down embankments? kids vs tractor? dozer tipping over? guns aimed at head? tragically, LJ has made sure you can never rest while he’s in charge of offspring. husbands do this on purpose