I hope you have your party pants on.
1) E is for Elk. Elk. You know, the animal?
The astute reader might recall that David, my husband, is a hunter, and for the past two years he has harvested an elk.
Fun Fact: Hunters say “harvested” but they really just mean “shot.” FYI.
Over the past two years, I have lovingly prepared my family meals containing said, harvested elk. But since I am grossed out by all things animal, I have refrained from eating the elk myself. This has resulted in many, many taco bar nights.
Did you know you can eat an elk taco?! It’s true! I’ve seen it with my own eyes.
It bugs David to no end that I won’t even try the elk. And I will admit, it seems a bit child-ish. But, have you met me? It took me about 8 years of marriage to put on my big girl pants and touch raw chicken. Before that, I used a lot of tongs to prepare dinners. And, yes. I am quite serious.
A few months ago, my sneaky sister-in-law prepared a lasagna containing a meat mixture of elk and beef, unbeknownst to me.
I ate it. I may have even taken my bread and soaked up any remaining sauce with it. Don’t pretend, dear readers. You do that, too.
When my plate was good and clean, this was the convo that ensued:
David: Did you enjoy the lasagna?
Me: Yes.
David: That’s interesting.
Me: Why?
David: BECAUSE YOU JUST ATE ELK! HAHAHAHAHA!
I got punk’d. Elk style. But, I have since recovered from that tragic episode and would like to announce to the world that I, yes, I, Taylor Maliblahblah, prepared and ate elk on TWO different occasions this week. True, I did mix it with ground beef, but I ate it and THAT is a feat in and of itself.
2) E is for End. As in, “Taylor ate elk? It is the end of the world as we know it.”
3) E is for Erin. Erin is my cyber-friend who I met through blogging. I would like to think that if we met in real-life, we would be real-life friends, but I don’t have that great of a track record with meeting blogging friends and having them, you know, ever contact me again.
I must be awkward and smelly or something.
4) E is for Energy. And Ewwww. One commenter asked how I have the energy to keep up with my brood?
Well. It takes a lot of coffee. A lot.
Yesterday, I was brushing my teeth and Little Dude was *ahem* going to the bathroom.
LD (short for Little Dude . . . keep up!): Uh-oh, Mom! No paper towels!
He is referring to toilet paper. Please, try to focus.
So, I bring him the toilet paper, but I am a bit perplexed as to why he needs it, as he is a boy and God gave boys an easier time of the liquid elimination process.
If you know what I’m talking about. And I know you do.
So, Dude does his thing and then he begins to rub the toilet paper all over the wall.
Me: Did you go potty on the walls?
Little Dude: Well . . . I try not to, but I think so.
Me: Dude! You just need to go in the toilet! Just the toilet! Nowhere else! Not on the seat. Not on the floor. Not on the walls. Not on your shoes. Just the toilet!
My words fall on deaf ears. I have sat on many a moist toilet seat. It doesn’t even bother me anymore. I am numb, people.
Numb.
I just sigh and hope for better days.
5) E is for Education. Yes, I am homeschooling. I am one of those people. No, I do not wear long, denim jumpers and have hair down to my caboose, but there’s always time for that later on.
Homeschooling always goes smoothly and we never, ever have bad days.
Or something like that.
I have a love/hate relationship with homeschool. There are, in fact, many wonderful blessings that come out of it. I love learning along with my kids and spending more time with them. But, the worst part, for me, is just a fear that I am going to fail them in some way. Like, they will get to college and then phone me and say:
“Mom! You forgot to teach us how to indent a paragraph!”
“Mom! You forgot to inform us anything about our government!”
“Mom! You forgot to teach us how babies are made!”
(Although that one would most likely be intentional)
Fun Fact: Daisy Mae spelled her last name wrong this week.
Instead of writing Maliblahblah, she wrote Maliblahblah-blah.
But, I’m sure that won’t ever be a problem.
So, I am continuing on in this “fantastic” homeschooling journey, and claiming this verse:
“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and all your plans will succeed.”
Proverbs 16:3
So, now, dear readers, I have a few questions for you:
1) Are you “blessed” with a hunter in the family? Do you eat game meat? Are you still alive?
2) I am hosting Easter dinner for 17 this year. I KNOW! I am looking for delicious rolls/breads/salads recipes.
Got any links you want to share?
HINT HINT
3) Do you sit on moist toilet seats regularly?
4) What’s an encouraging verse that you claim in your life?
5) Look at your window. Is it snowing? Because it is snowing here. Look at your calendar. Does it say April 5th?
So does mine.
Happy Thursday!
my step-daughter will not eat deer meat if she knows what it is but LOVES my meatloaf. i always have to have it prepared before she arrives so she does not see me add the deer meat. and the same with my chili, spaghetti, taco meat, and many other dishes i cook. 😉 we “harvest an average of 3-5 deer a year since my husband, my oldest daughter, and myself all hunt so deer meat is a staple in our diet. i have tried elk a few times but have not aquired a taste for it i must admit.
1. No, I do not have a hunter – thank God!!! Although I have indeed eaten game meat.
2. My absolute favorite bread recipe in the world is this one: http://tastykitchen.com/recipes/breads/lucky-four-leaf-clover-rolls/
3. LOL! Again, little dude and little man’s worlds collide… I haven’t sat on a dry toilet seat in 9 years!!!
4. My favorite verse in the world is Romans 8:28 – And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.
5. And looking out my window I see sunshine and flowers… sorry no snow.
i tried posting a comment on FB and the ding dang thing crashed right when I went to post it!
GACK!
ANywAY I was saying that I’m glad your kids are a little….adventurous/wacky because it makes me feel like I’m in good company. I’m so grateful for mom stories that make other moms feel like they aren’t alone in the “Why did you pee on the porch?
” world of children
so thanks yo.
GEESH that comment was meant for the letter D. ACK! I haven’t gotten to the letter E yet. I’m wee behind. So sue me. I have to go now and get overnight french toast casserole out of the oven. I’ll let you know how it goes. Thank you Pinterest!!!
Taylor – I am on the west coast and we have a family of bird hunters. They are all too “chicken” to shoot something bigger but I don’t mind. So far, I’ve never had to clean and prepare any of these creatures because they consider that “man stuff” and do all the plucking, gutting, cleaning and chopping themselves, in the garage. During this process, the kids inevitably get tossed a severed a duck foot and that always elevates the fun!
It’s hard to choose a favorite bible verse but these days it’s these two:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ” Jeremiah 29:11
And
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34
No, my husband does not hunt… I know so many who offset their food budget this way and was kinda jealous until a friend of ours who does came over for a cookout last summer, bit into her burger and said “Ahhhh Cow Yummm”… I don’t want to be the Ahhh Cow girl…
Sorry, no recipe tips… I am horrible at making bread… I kinda gave up and now just buy frozen bread dough and make rolls out of it… Everyone thinks that are homemade, I’ve even convinced my family they are close enough to count.
We moved back to Maine to care for my mother and 90 year old step father who has alzheimer’s… I have sat on my share of wet toilet seats in the last two years… Since I am not the mother of sons, I am not at all used to it or numb to it… It totally freaks me out!
No, it’s not snowing, but I am still feeling kinda ungrateful for the weather here right now. We had one of those weird warm spells a couple weeks ago that they kept talking about on the news… Nearly two weeks of 65-80 degree weather… Then it went back to what is typical for March weather in Maine… Mid 50s at best… Blah…
PS. I need some etiquette advice today… I am in a bit of a pickle… If you get a chance pop over and read my predicament and let me know how you would handle our situation. Thanks 🙂
Now you haven’t harvested and feasted until you’ve hunted squirrel. Squirrel stew, squirrel salad…not kidding. My husband used to go squirrel hunting and then clean and cook them. I couldn’t do that. You have to draw a line somewhere. I had some squirrel stew, but not the squirrel salad sandwiches. You have to draw a line somewhere again sometimes.
Squirrel Salad Sandwiches?
I can’t even…..
Squirrel Stew!!
I can’t imagine that’s a very hearty meal unless you “harvest” a whole lotta squirrels!
Oops… Verse…
Proverbs 22:6
“Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. ”
I love that it has that promise attached to it… I claimed it a lot while homeschooling and parenting in general!
Yes, I have a hunter in the family and I have to eat elk and venison. Love the elk but the deer? Not so much. Any deer recipes that do not taste like deer would be appreciated.
Yes, I sit on moist toilet seats, wipe pee off the walls, floor,etc and often hold hands that I am certain have not been washed since they last “checked to see if the underwear is still dry”. Sigh. Don’t you just KNOW whether your underwear is dry?
Bible verse: so many but a recurring favorite is Isaiah 40:11. “He shall lead his flock like a shepherd. He shall gather the lambs in His arms and carry them in His bosom and shall gently lead those that have young.”. He is gentle with me and understands this stage of life far better than I. His expectations for me are not the ridiculous ones I have for myself but are fully suited to my life at this time. And if I listen, He shows me those instead of my own that I have gleaned off of Pinterest, lovely blogs, put-together friends and my own prideful heart. Also, when I am too weak to “carry” my children, I remember He carries them already and I am not the sole factor in their long-term relationship with Him. As He is faithful with me, He will be faithful with them. Amen. 🙂
1.) No hunters. Which hobby is worse? Hunting or sports??
2.)Whatever rolls you make add mashed sweet potato or regular potato. It just does good things. Spinach salad with strawberries, purple onion and whatever else suits your fancy just make sure it has a nice, sweetish vinaigrette.
3.)Yes, I sit on wet toilets. I have five boys. It can’t be helped ~ even with my most impressive fits.
4.)The verse that’s encouraged me lately is Job 1:20 of all things. Strange, I know. BUT, Job lost it ALL, that is except for his understandably cranky wife. Yet, he fell on the ground and worshiped. He clearly had a grasp on who God is. He knew His goodness, faithfulness, wisdom etc. was worthy despite how he “felt” or his circumstances. Impressive! David did this too after his boy died. Impressive again!
5.)No snow but rain. This may mean more baseball rain~out. It’s like someone giving me the gift of TIME. Which, by the way, is my toppest love language. The other is coffee.
I feel I need to add a comment to my # 3 up there. I also have two girls. Do you know what my girls do??? They hop off the toilet without wiping because that’s just way too many steps in the whole bathroom process. Guess what this does to the toilet seat AND the floor in front of the toilet ~ not to mention their clothes? I cannot blame all my fits on my boys.
Philippians 3:16
‘Only let us live up to what we have already attained.’
You don’t have to be supermum, just live up to what you’ve already learned from God. No more. No less. SO much grace in that verse! Luvvit!
Excellent, Alison!
Teller, do not be afraid that you might miss something important like indenting or properly using a fork. Instead, rest in the knowledge that you WILL miss something and plan to combat this by teaching them to teach themselves. Then when they call you from college to complain about dangling participles, you can say, “Sorry, dude. Guess you’d better figure that out.”
Ta Da! You’re Welcome.
(I give you this advice in all sincerity. I am always pointing out to my kids what I am teaching myself, so they can see what it’s like. I’ve taught myself how to knit, crochet, make bread, cook, use Photoshop….all kinds of things. I don’t sugar coat the learning process – since they are with me all day, they see me struggle, fail, try again, succeed, concentrate, research, etc. Modeling these things is just as important as mastering stupid skip counting. Right?)
What happened to Easter Egg?
My brother and sister in law both hunt, squirrel and deer. Squirrel, yuck, but I LOVE deer meat. They make the best burgers and oh my goodness bbqed, wow. And you cant beat a great deer roast. To get gamy taste out, my mom uses beer to soak it in and slow roasting lets it get tender without drying out.
My son is grown so no more wet seats!
Does your brood like broccoli? My favorite salad is broccoli salad. I cut up broccoli into bite size pieces, I add sunflower seeds, raisins, real bacon bacon bits. Then make a dressing of mayo, vinegar and sugar. This needs to sit for awhile so the sugar can dissolve. http://allrecipes.com/recipe/sunflower-broccoli-salad/detail.aspx?event8=1&prop24=SR_Title&e11=broccoli%20salads&e8=Quick%20Search&event10=1&e7=Home%20Page
this isnt the exact recipe but similar. I dont use onion because my stomach cant handle raw onion, but a lot of people like it. Oh and last time I made it I added cauliflower and it was awesome.
No snow its been hot here, lol, sorry. Today a little cooler, in the 70’s.
I’ve never eaten elk, though I totally would given half a chance. I want to be a vegetarian, but I just don’t have the discipline.
No elk here because the hubs was star-struck and forgot to shoot. Plenty of deer though.
I could never have married a hunter. I can hardly stand dealing with the meat packages from the store.
The whole pee/toilet thing? I am the most anal person (haha) regarding bathroom issues, handwashing, stuff like that. I have a lot of anxiety about it. If there are wet seats, I flip out on the inside. I try not to do too much damage to the kids’ psyches though. 😛
I need to memorize some Scripture. For sure.
No snow here. Just tornados the other day! Yikes!
I highly recommend what I like to call “Salad Crack” because I may or may not lick the plate when I come to the end of it. (But only if I’m alone. I’m not that rude.) I also recommended it to my friend Angie when she needed to bring a salad to her family’s Thanksgiving dinner, and she upped the addiction by using candied pecans. Oy.
Here it is. Don’t blame me if you end up subscribing to Shannan’s blog, though…
http://flowerpatchfarmgirl.blogspot.com/2011/11/freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedom.html
My husband was a missionary’s kid … once he “harvested” a BIG lizard and sneaked it into the stew of some new missionaries. He got in BIG TROUBLE. I try not to worry that he loves to cook, as eating lizard might send me over the edge. I have, however, eaten elk, and thought it was delish. just sayin’. I posted a picture of a cowboy waving pistols over the toilet in my boys’ bathroom that I captioned “Aim straight please” … I don’t think it helped, but it made me feel better :o)
I am blessed, I married a hunter, but he’s never gone hunting in the years we dated or been married, every fall he talks about it, but here you need some kind of hunting passport thing to buy bullets ? He’s got the picture taken several years ago but never submitted the thing. Yay for procrastination!
I don’t have a link, but I will second the broccoli salad, I actually just made some for our picnic tomorrow.
No, I don’t sit on moist toilets, but my son is only 13 months old. My husbands mother taught him to go to the bathroom sitting down, I thought it was so weird when I found that out, but it’s quite convenient for me, no wet seat and the toilet seat is always down. I’m thinking of implementing this “method” when it comes time to toilet train. Note that my husband only does this at home, when we are driving, he takes advantage of being a man and pulls over to go, All. The. Time. Seriously, you can’t wait for a rest stop?
My encouraging verse is “Work as if you are working for the Lord, not for man.”. I had this at my desk in my former job, and now have it as my new desk, the kitchen sink! It reminds me that excellence is better than perfection and that there is a purpose to my work.
It is not snowing here today, but it’s coming. Tomorrow will be 20C, and by Sunday, snow and 0C, hence the picnic to enjoy our one last day. April 6 is actually our 15 year anniversary of “The storm of the century”. We received 50, yes FIVE ZERO, centimeters of snow in 1997, which then led to “The flood of the century”. Hopefully the snow we get will be light, but it’s been hitting pretty hard to the west of us.
Have a fabulous Easter!
I so know what you mean about the whole meat thing! I grew up with/around hunters but now I can’t stand to touch meat until it resembles absolutely nothing like an animal! I struggle to even cook a chicken. And Heaven forbid I should have to cut it up myself!
And about the wet toilet seat…I have a six-year-old boy that sounds very much like your little challenge! I had to laugh when I was reading your instructions to go ONLY in the toilet because I could totally imagine your tone and frustration. I have said many similar things myself!
I adore this post. That is all.
My first ever comment on your blog!
To answer your questions.
1. Unfortunately, no my dh is not a hunter. Though I wish he was. I would LOVE to have (basically) free, organic, free range meat. (even if it does taste funny!)
2. For Easter. Brave woman! I suggest you try The Pinterest for recipes. 😉
3. You are not alone.
4. My favorite verse does not have a reference. I’m not very good like that. But here it is: “Do not grow weary in doing good. You will reap a harvest if you do not give up.”
5. no snow here in MN (thank God!)
6. I love your blog. Thanks for sharing your crazy life with us!
Move to Cali, Im going to be needing a real life friend!