1) The other day I was stressed.
This is not rare.
You see, dear readers, I am always late. Late, late, late. I think I have all the time in the world and then, out of NOWHERE, I was supposed to be in the car 15 minutes ago, the kitchen is a disaster, I am half dressed, no one can find their shoes, the farm animals need water, and Little Dude is missing, per usual.
True story.
Stand down, readers! I don’t really lose my child . . . per say. But the boy does this cute . . . .precious, really . . . thing where he is in the loft playing trains and when he hears his mother and siblings call . . .
“Dude! DUDE! Time to go! We are leaving? Where are you? Answer us! Dude?”
. . . he chooses not to answer us.
Then we all turn to each other in a state of utter confusion:
“Have you seen him? Who was the last one to see him? Go and check if he is hanging out in the chicken coop again.”
Yes. My boy sits in the chicken coop and becomes one with his feathered friends.
Doesn’t yours?
Anyways. The point (yes! there is a point!) is that the boy NEVER answers and he just keeps playing trains while we are about to send out a search party.
See? I told you it was precious.
So. One day I was stressed like THAT. I was in the bathroom trying to make something of my hair and Daisy Mae was with me. As I was spraying my hair with the hair spray, I was giving her explicit instructions on how she needed to go and get a cooler in the car and load it with some ice packs and five dozen eggs. Because we are hillbillies and when we come to town, we sell eggs.
She looked at me with her mouth agape and I was about to b-l-o-w because we seriously did not have time for her to act like she had no idea what her task was.
DM: Mom? Did you see that on Pinterest?
Me (snapping because I am stressed . . . remember?): WHAT are you talking about?
DM: Did you see that hair trick on Pinterest?
Me: What hair trick?
She points to my hand, which was furiously spraying hair spray and it turns out I was spraying glass cleaner all over my hair.
DM: Is that a cool trick you saw on Pinterest?
Me: Um, no.
DM: MOM! You should put it on Pinterest!
Lest anyone is confused . . . no. Glass cleaner was no good for the hair. Or my stress level.
2) David was getting ready to go hunting last week and before he goes anywhere special, he has to polish his boots.
Yes. That’s right. Polish his boots.
He went and got his new-ish white sock to use for the waxing process.
Me: What’s wrong with that sock?
David: It is all stretched out. I cannot wear them anymore.
Me: Oh.
Now. People. I steal these socks from my husband daily. They are warm and cozy and just perfect for the homeschooling marm who lives in the country.
Could it be that I, his apparently-not-so-dainty wife, stretched out his socks with my ginormous ankles?
Me: Well, what do you mean they are stretched out? Why can’t you wear them?
David: They keep falling down!
So, there you go. Breaking news. I have cankles. Because I wear these socks and they do not fall down. Nope. Not one bit.
***
There you go. Two things that you just had to hear about.
Later dudes.
The dad from My Big Fat Greek Wedding would be all over promoting your new hair styling product.
I wonder if LD would come running if he heard the vehicle start out the driveway?
Men have boney ankles …that is the problem.
Glass cleaner THE new product for hairstyling.
You said you were late, late, late…….I thought maybe you were pregnant again. ; )
Pretend you need to be where you are expected an hour earlier than you really are expected.
Your Back!! Yea!!
Promise and deliver a treat to Little Dude if he comes when you say “Time to get in the car!” Maybe promise and deliver treats to all who arrive in the car within um, 5 minutes, which you then count out. Or coins? Have a practice session?
You’re back! So excited for you- I had a panic attack and went and backed up all my files when your page went down!
Also, I almost wet my pants when reading about the pinterest hair tip. I will be looking out for it 😉
The glass cleaner hair trick is quite hilarious. Glad to see your blog back!
<3 <3 <3
so.glad.you.are.back!!! I was seriously worried what I would have to get such a great daily laugh from if you blog did not come back! and the story about the glass cleaner on the hair is actually good for a couple days of laughter!!
I was free to laugh out loud today! And I did! Boy did I!
And I would like to beg to differ about your cankles!
I’m so glad you got a post up! I was having a withdrawl. You’re posts always make me laugh so much.
Next time I do a mistake like the glass cleaner trick, I’m totally blaming pinterest. That’s perfect. Thank you Daisy Mae!
Welcome back, by the way! Glad all was not lost!
Whew…i was starting to worry I did something wrong cuz I couldn’t visit your site for a few days. Thanks for the laughs.
I just read this post as a bedtime story for Jason. Thanks! 🙂
So glad you got your blog back! Oh and late, and finding shoes, and finding kids… those were the days my friend. 🙂
Holla! You’re back! So happy for you (and me)!
I’m so happy you are back! I love your blog!
My life is so crazy I would probably have the same type of problems with hair styling products/glass cleaners, so I’ve fixed it once and for all. I never clean. That way the cleaners are never somewhere they shouldn’t be and I don’t get them confused with my hairspray.
Glad you’re back!
Just what I needed today. Glad you’re back!
Could you, pretty please, post a picture of how this new Pinterest Hair Trick is supposed to look in the end? So glad you are back!!