The Town Crier

Raise your hand if you think I am going to talk about floors.

Ok!  The floors of the rental are maybe in their final stages.  Full disclosure:  I kind of hated the cherry stain on them the night we stained them.  It looked too dark and too red.  But now, we have entered the FINISHING stage of the floors.  This can be tricky because we have been FINISHING them since Wednesday and they are still not FINISHED.

David keeps telling me we are all done sanding and then he keeps sanding.  It’s like he is addicted to the horror that is sanding.

First, he tells me we are done sanding on Sunday and we will stain on Tuesday.

On Tuesday, he says we must sand for 1-2 hours before we stain.

On Wednesday we FINISHED them.

On Thursday he sanded again and finished.

On Friday he sanded again and finished thrice.  THRICE.

I was present for the final sanding and finishing.  And when I say “final” I mean just the final for Friday.  We are still not finished finishing.  That would be silly.

So.  He sands them all up and there is dust everywhere.  I am trying to be his helpmeet, so I grab a broom.

David:  Don’t sweep.  Just put the finish on.

Me:  I feel very strongly about sealing all of this dust into the floors.

David:  It isn’t dust.  It is powder from the finish.  We need it to fill in the gaps.

Ok.  How does he know this stuff?  He doesn’t read extensively or watch home improvement shows.  He leaves everyday in his work van at 5am and I am under the impression that he is an electrician.  How does he know all of this stuff?

Whatevs.  I just obey.

They are looking good and I am happier with the color.  Which is excellent news, seeing as how there ain’t no way I am starting over.

And then out of nowhere, he says we are redoing the laundry room floor.  Which is fine, but I just didn’t know we were redoing it.  I think he just decides these things on a whim.  Anyways, I had to meet him at Lowe’s to pick out a piece of vinyl.  He shows me the cheapest one.  Me no likey.

Younger Taylor would have probably said the cheaper one was fine.

But I am 39 now.

Me:  Nope.  It has got to be darker than that.  I want that one.

Gasp!  It was like $100 more for that vinyl.  I am so old and sassy.

Me:  When are you putting vinyl in?

David:  I am not doing it.  I am hiring someone to do it.

Gasp!  David?   Hiring something out?  And why didn’t we hire sanding out?

Me:  Why?

David:  I have never laid vinyl and I do not want to mess it up.

Me:  So who is doing it?

David:  One of my apprentices at work.

So, I ponder the situation for awhile.  And then-

Me:  Your apprentice?!  Has he ever laid vinyl?

David:  Nope.

Me:  Why are you paying someone who doesn’t know how to do something to do something you also do not know how to do?

David:  It will be fine.

But I am 39 now.  And I am old and sassy.

Me:  No!  What if he messes it up?!

David:  I can always YouTube it later.

Friends.  He was messing with me.  When will I learn?  He kept that charade up for like 8 hours and finally admitted that the apprentice has many years of experience laying vinyl.

David.  Riling Taylor up since 1998.

I told him to knock it off and stop messing with me.  Because I am 39 now.

***

Did you remember I also have cows?  I am still checking on them daily.  No new calves have been born.  Also, my knee feels much better and I canceled my dr appointment.  Just a little update on that for you.

Anyways.  The other day I went to do a check on the cows.  It is like I am taking attendance.  I go all around and find everyone, text David the report, and go back inside.

The other day, I walked out and not one of them was near the house.  Which is fine.  When I was a bit farther from the house, I heard the boys fire up the bobcat to feed the cows beer grain.  David gets it for free from a local brewery.  It is like a treat for the cows, I guess.  I don’t know.  Anyways, the cows know the sound of the bobcat and they know that sometimes the bobcat brings them beer grain or hay.

I would like to take this time to inform you about the Cow Telephone System.  It is amusing.

The cow nearest the house hears the bobcat and sounds the alarm.

It is like she is the Town Crier.

Usually, Babs is the Town Crier.  But this time it was Seattle.

Seattle does this very loud and urgent moo.  She does it over and over again.  And then throughout the property, the other cows will hear and join in.  It is like that scene in 101 Dalmations when the dogs are getting a message to each other.

The news reaches all bovine and they make their way to the house.  Mooing all the way.

By the time I got back to the house, all the cows were at the house eating the grain.

If I would have started the attendance process at this time, I would have saved myself a half hour.

When the cows are finished with their snack, they tip the bunk feeder over to show us their displeasure.

Happy Saturday!