On Sunday, I overheard a conversation between David and the boys and I became quite concerned.
I was concerned because I heard them discussing a future purchase of 100 full size pigs.
Me: Hold up. What is the deal with this 100 pigs business?
David: (sigh) Ok. Do you know what a “turn buyer” is?
And he was looking at me like I definitely should know what a “turn buyer” was, but I definitely did not. But good news, Friends!
David won the right to be THE Turn Buyer!
Lucky him. And here is what I *think* it is. 4H children enter pigs into the fair. People from the community purchase the pigs from the children. The purchasers can either chose to keep the pig for themselves to purchase or they can sell it to the Turn Buyer.
And that was David! My actual husband! He put in a bid and he won the bid, but he had to take all the pigs, which could have been up to 100. And the Lord bestowed his favor upon me, because David was only needed to buy 30 pigs, rather than 100.
The turnly bought pigs had to be picked up Tuesday at 7am, and, unfortunately, David was already committed to being an electrician on Tuesday at 7am. Hadley was supposed to volunteer at the fair for parking lot clean up at the same exact time, so Hadley, the boys, and I, hauled the stock trailer to the fair so we could pick up David’s lucky purchase.
We arrive at the fair and as soon as I get the truck and trailer near the loading area, I must turn the keys over to HD.
Pig People: Does he know how to do this?
Me: He sure does, and you definitely don’t want me doing it.
As soon as he started to maneuver, he wowed all pig peoples and I was pretty sure he was about to get offered a job on the spot.
Pig People were discussing how to load the pigs into our trailer and there were problems because the back of the trailer was too low for the pig ramp, so Pig People were starting to build a makeshift ramp and HD was all,
“Or we could just load them in this side door, which is higher off the ground”
And the Pig People were wowed yet again, but in order to get the side door correctly aligned with the ramp, HD was going to have to do some fancy rig work, but that was no problem for my 14 year old.
Meanwhile, LD, my 13 year old, had found some spare lumber and a drill and was building something? Because . . . ?
We finally get everything all situated and then we get the pigs loaded.
At this point, we have been at the fair for two hours and Hadley is now finished with her parking lot clean up duties. She reports that people are disgusting and she picked up a lot of trash, pacifiers, socks, a rogue pair of underwear, and $2.12.
Because I am the mom and the most responsible, I must now take over the truck/trailer driving, much to HD’s chagrin. So he had to add his critical commentary on how poorly of a job I am doing, and I was like:
“But did anyone die?”
And I got us home safely. And even all the pigs lived.
As soon as we got into the driveway, I turned the keys back over to HD so he and LD could back the trailer up into our unloading area.
I captured this little video while walking back from getting the mail. Just so you could hear the pig screams.
You are quite welcome.
And just look. Look at what I, yes, I, Taylor Maliblahblah, hauled home, not killing anyone?
That would be 7,638 pounds of hog in one trailer.
Next, we had to sort the hogs into three different pens, based on their tag numbers and some sort of perfect pig scenario that David and HD had come up with together over the phone.
And then they were all disgusting and flopped around in the mud.
So there you have it. And now my part is done.
And if this doesn’t prompt David to finally buy me that #1 Wife T-Shirt, I don’t know what will.
***
After SEVERAL hours and sorting and organizing, I am happy to report that my classroom looks like this:
Bleh.
I work on it until I hit a wall. Once the wall is hit, I can do no more-not even close cabinets or pick stuff up off the ground. And Hadley strongly feels I should get a new calendar and ditch the apple calendar that I have had for 8 years.
I kind of agree, but the thought of buying one and laminating one and then putting velcro on the numbers is very off-putting.
I don’t know. I just don’t want to. I am teaching some sort of a combination or solid class of anything between K-2. I told my principal to put me wherever, except I would cry all day if she made me teach 4th or 5th. Because I like to show my employer that I am flexible, but I do have my limits.
May your day be full of luck, just like David’s was, the moment he won the Turn Buyer Bid.
Happy Tuesday.
