My poor Dad had a minor surgery yesterday.
When he was all fixed up, mother drove him home where he rested and slept the day away.
Apparently, he woke up just long enough to catch up on my blog.
Now, my dad is not a chatty person.
You could sit at the dinner table with him and he would utter not one syllable during the entire course of the meal.
Road trips=no talking
Taking a walk=no talking
Sitting with him in the living room=no talking and quite often, he will just fall asleep in the presence of your company.
Why am I cursed with men who fall asleep while I am attempting to have a conversation with them?
Yes.
Both my husband and my father will fall asleep during any sort of communication with me.
So sad.
And it is for that very reason that I love this blog so much.
I can talk and talk and talk and talk and talk.
And if you fall asleep, fine.
So be it.
But I won’t ever know.
Now, my mother is a chatty girl like me.
And there have been times where she feels a little dismayed by my father’s lack of communication.
It’s not that he doesn’t love her.
It’s not that he doesn’t care.
He just doesn’t chat.
I don’t know why.
He just doesn’t.
But, I am happy to announce that I, yes I, have discovered the key to unlocking my father’s hidden gift of gab.
It’s a 10-step process:
1) Drive him to the hospital
2) Sign him up for a minor surgical procedure, preferably one in which they would administer anesthesia.
3) Take him home.
4) Make him rest all day.
5) Get him good and bored.
6) Better throw in a few painkillers.
7) Arrange for there to be nothing good on t.v. This will force him to surf the web.
8) Hope he finds my blog.
9) Hope he reads the one and only post where I knock his favorite movie, “Blazing Saddles”
10) Sit back and read the secret stories and adventures that are hidden deep within this man.
Now, dear readers, this is not the first comment my dad has left on my blog.
No.
The first comment he left was in response to my joke about his 2-song IPod.
His response?
“Hey! Back off! I have well over 100 songs on my IPod now.”
Yes, Dad.
100 songs is a ridiculous amount of songs for an IPod you have owned over two years.
But, I digress . . .
Until this very moment, I knew of only two memories my father has from his childhood:
1) During his childhood, it was his dream to play the accordion. His loving parents signed him up for lessons. He had to give it up because his little 9-year-old body was too weak to hold up said accordion.
2) His most favorite treat in his lunch pail? A hot yam wrapped in foil.
Yes, folks.
That is all I knew about my Dad from the years before he met my mother.
But now, that has all changed.
And now, without further ado, I would like to present to you:
This Week’s Comment of the Week
written by . . . you guessed it . . . my dad.
(He is commenting on my post, Goober Taylor Update)
“IN 1974,WHEN I WAS 16, I ALONG WITH YOUR UNCLE GREG,HIS FIANCEE, LAURA AND HER SISTER LORRINE WENT TO SEE BLAZING SADDLES. I THINK GREG AND LAURA WERE TRYING TO “FIX”ME UP WITH LORRINE AT THE TIME. WELL, THAT NEVER GOT OFF THE GROUND AND EVENTUALLY GREG AN LAURA FIZZLED OUT.
I COULD NOT BELIEVE THAT MOVIE. IT WAS THE BEST. THE FOLLWING WEEK I WENT WITH A COUPLE OF HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS TO SEE IT AGAIN. BUT MY GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT IN MY LIFE WAS THE FOLLOWING WEEK WHEN I TOOK YOUR AUNTS SHIRLEY AND GWEN TO SEE BLAZING SADDLES.
THIS WAS PAYBACK! THEY WOULD DRAG ME OUT TO SEE ART FLICKS AND FOREIGN MOVIES WITH SUB TITLES. ONCE, I GOT TO SEE A DOUBLE FEATURE. THE OPENING MOVIE WAS GODZILLA VS BAMBI. THIS MOVIE LASTED 30 SECONDS AND WAS ANIMATED. GODZILLA CRUSHES BAMBI BY STEPPING ON HER. THAT WAS THE MOVIE. THE CREDITS LASTED 15 MINUTES.
I HAD A LOT OF FUN DRIVING UP TO THE SAN FERNANDO VALLEY TO GO TO THESE MOVIES. SOMETIMES, GWEN’S FRIEND MARSHA WOULD GO AS WELL. ONE OCCASION, WE DECIDED TO MEET AT THE MOVIES IN WESTWOOD-A TRENDY SPOT IN LA. ANYWAY, TRYING TO FIND A PARKING SPOT, A LADY IN A 10 YEAR OLD PEUGEOT WANTED THE SAME SPACE AS ME. SO I KINDLY LET HER HAVE IT. WHEN SHE GOT OUT HER CAR, SHE RUSHED OVER TO THANK ME. IT WAS CLORIS LEACHMAN AN ACTRESS. ALL I KEPT THINKING WAS THAT WOW, I HAVE A NICER CAR THAN CLORIS LEACHMAN. ANOTHER TIME ON MY WAY HOME I WAS CRUSING DOWN THE HOLLYWOOD FREEWAY LISTENING TO ROAD FOOD BY THE GUESS WHO IN MY CAR. SIDE NOTE HERE, I HAD CASSETTE TAPES WHILE EVERYONE ELSE IN MY FAMILY HAD 8 TRACK….I WAS ALWAYS AHEAD OF THE CURVE. ANYWAY BACK TO MY RIDE HOME. PASSING ME BY IN BLACK ROLLS ROYCE WAS JAMES COLBURN. AND ALL I THOUGHT WAS WOW, JAMES COLBURN HAS A NICER CAR THAN ME.
MOVIES WERE A BIG PART OF OUR LIVES BACK IN THOSE DAYS. WHEN JAWS CAME OUT, SUE HANK AND MOM WENT TO SEE IT. BIG MISTAKE! THE NEXT DAY I WAS ON MY WAY HOME AND THE OCEAN WAS A LITTLE ROUGH BUT I REALLY WANTED TO TAKE THE BOAT OVER TO THE QUEEN MARY, SO I GOT HOME MOM AND DAD ARE GETTING READY TO GO SOMEPLACE AND MOM ASKS ME IF I HAVE ANY PLANS. HERE IS OUR CONVERSATION
ME I AM GOING TO THE QUEEN MARY
MOM PLEASE DON’T
ME WHY?
MOM IT’S NOT SAFE
ME MOM, THERE IS NO 25′ SHARK OUT
THERE WAITING TO EAT ME.
MOM PLEASE DONT GO. I WILL WORRY.
ME FINE. I’LL WALK DOWN TO THE
BEACH
MOM JUST DON’T GO NEAR THE WATER
WHEN JAWS 2 CAME OUT I MADE EVERYONE PROMISE NOT TO TAKE HER.
I COULD GO ON AND ON WITH ALL THIS AS A LOT OF GREAT TIMES ARE IN MY HEAD AT THIS MOMENT. AROUND THIS TIME I MET A LOVELY GIRL WHO I MARRIED . SPEAKING OF YOUR MOTHER, SHE TOOK ME TO SEE “ITS COMPLICATED” LAST WEEKEND. THAT TOO REQUIRES PAYBACK.
I HAVE ALWAYS LIKED BLAZZING SADDLES.
SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU BRING IT UP?”
***
Holy Raviolis!
My Dad!
He has . . . he has a past!
Who knew?
And . . . he is funny!
Who knew?!
Yes, Dad.
When it comes to all things technological . . .
you most certainly are, as you put it, “ahead of the curve.”
Dad.
You should share more often.
You are an interesting guy.
And, apparently, there is so much more to you than accordions and yams . . .
Who knew?!
P.S.- Does not Little Dude take after my dad?
P.P.S- I love you, Dad!
100 (meaningless) points to anyone who knows that a Peugeot is.
200 (meaningless) points to anyone who knows who Cloris Leachman is.
300 (meaningless) points to anyone knows what the Queen Mary is.
400 (meaningless) points to anyone who can figure out what kind of car my dad drove.
Hint: According to him, it is better than a Peugeot.
Later, Dudes!
Happy Saturday!
Adios!
Well I’m nowhere near your Dad’s age, but I know who Cloris Leachman is. She was on “Facts of Life” after Mrs. Garrett left, and she was way too old to be on “Dancing with the Stars”.
As for the rest, no idea. But congratulations on getting to know your Dad. That’s apparently not an easy task. Have a great weekend!
I love it.
(And yes, little dude does look just like your dad!)
Wow! Who knew your dad could be so chatty? This is a great post 🙂
Love it! Pump him for as many stories like this as possible. I so miss my dad and wish I had more stories of his growing up/detective years for my little guys.
Of course everyone knows Cloris since she was on DWTS.
The Park Wife aka Chatty in Arkansas
That is an awesome comment. Love it. Sounds like your Dad had a pretty cool childhood meeting actresses and cruising around LA 🙂
Little Dude definitely looks like your dad!
Okay-Cloris Leachman was on the Mary Tyler Moore show (the one with Mary in Minneapolis) as her snooty neighbor Phyllis…she was hysterical in this program. It was such a great program!
This was before Facts of Life. Obviously I’m a child of the 70s. If you’ve never seen reruns of The Mary Tyler Moore show you should watch it…the 70s clothes and hair are so great and the show was really funny. Plus…the theme song is classic…here’s a link to the theme song because I can’t believe people don’t know this show….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBTWF1bDPn0
A Peugot is a car (made by the French)
The Queen Mary is a ship.
I don’t know what your dad was driving but if he had cassette tapes when the rest of the world had 8 tracks then he was ahead of his time in the world of technology : )
That is an amazing comment! I believe you should slip pain meds into his coffee every now and then so we can hear more stories! And now we know where you get your amazing writing skills!
I am, by the way, considering joining exclamation points anonymous…
Thanks so much for your posts – they are so fun!
can’t wait to find out what kind of car he was driving! you need to get some pics of him on here from those days – along with your mom.
All I can say is WOW! Sorry, I can’t anwer any of you questions. Am I unimformed or proudly just too young?
Too funny! And, I actually knew the answers to everything but the kind of car he drove, but since everyone else answered, I’ll defer.
I, too, am chatty. I too, feel the pain of quiet husbands. Even husbands who nap in the middle of conversations. Are you my doppelganger?
irst of all, it’s James Coburn. A Peugot is a make of car. Cloris Leachman who has been in everything like Young Frankenstein and is the grandma in Malcolm in the Middle. The Queen Mary is a huge pleasure luxury ship currently harbored right here in Long Beach. I’m sure your dad drove a Corvair which he thinks is one of the best cars ever. Goober. Blazing Saddles is stupid. I hated it. My brother, your uncle thinks it’s one of the best movies ever. Sorry, I don’t understand why someone would cold cock a horse.
I got no problem getting your dad talking. I just ask him what the best road is to take somewhere or try to get the fog off my windshield in the winter which I know nothing about. He highly enjoyed that. Actually dad is having very vigorous and lively conversations but they’re in his head.
My Dad was my high school Biology and Chemistry teacher. We drove twelve miles to school together and twelve miles home in silence. I would struggle to think of questions to force him to talk and I would get YES or NO answers. I loved having him for a teacher just to hear him talk!
I know all the answers however I can not answer right now because I can not STOP LAUGHING!!!
WHY IS YOUR DAD YELLING AT ME??
ROFL!!!!
I gladly hand over my “comment of the week” crown to your dad… That isn’t just a comment… it’s a whole post, and the good kind… the kind that makes you want to know more…
Good Lord Almighty but that man can talk! Eh? Well I’d say it’s fairly obvious that your dad should start his own blog! Dude has some stories! =)
Mindy
http://www.thesuburbanlife.com
Wow – he definitely should start his own blog – and I’m old too so I knew the answers too….
Oh Taylor, I love your latest blog! Having known your parents all of these years! I know lots about your mom but the comments from your dad where priceless! Who knew! You always have to watch out for the quiet ones! Keep the stories coming, you make my day!
THAT is a great story.
He should write all these things down!!
Cool Dad. Great when you get to know your parents a little more.
Peugeot, French Car Brand.
Don’t know Carol
Queen Mary, a boat.
Lovely post 🙂
That was priceless! I love hearing from my dad like that….and I actually once knew someone who drove a Peugeot. 🙂
Who knew our parents had lives before us?
I’m sure my kids think I exist just for them.
At this age, they’re kind of right.
Anyway, fun to hear from your pops!
I am wracking up some serious points here. A Peugeot is a car, and Cloris Leachman was in “Young Frankenstein” and a t.v. show from the 70’s~ forgot the name of it. I guess that’s 300, but I’ll take it!!
Little Dude looks like your daddy for sure.
Oh my gosh!! This is the best!!!! For once I could have won ALL the meaningless points!!!!! Just a few additions: The Queen Mary was quite the thing in Long Beach. It was the real deal, and they turned it into lovely restaurants and conference/convention spots. I don’t know if it is still in use or not. AND, although your pop had access to Corvairs, I’m thinking he was driving the new Camero he rec’d for his 16th birthday.
Yep, it was a 74 camaro brand spankin new with (gosh I can’t remember now) I believe a 4 speed on the floor. Very cool car!!! Cloris Leachman? James Coburn? Grant I never knew… taylor have your dad tell you about his and his friend Walt’s (the greatest bowler in the world) trip to Tijuana.
Maybe one day I’ll tell you about your dad and me going to Hume Lake summer camp…Grant, the stories we could tell!!!!!
I hereby elect LJ wife’s dad to do a weekly post on an interesting story from his past.
Just…um…not in all caps.
and with more punctuation.
Yay!
funny funny funny funny post! LOVE IT! i got a VERY FUNNY email from my dad a couple of years ago….see THAT is why i should have a blog. so i could have put his email on it and everyone could have read it AND i could have had it forever!!!
you are THE funniest! and, sorry, no you did not get your writing skills from your dad….but he is SO FUNNY too!!!! and made funnier (word?) cuz i knew while reading that you were reading w/ mouth open, unaccustomed to your father spilling guts! =)