Happy Thursday, one and all!
We are still deep in the throes of Birthday Bonanza Week over here, but I thought I would take a break from all that nonsense to bring you another exciting installment of:
Questions and Their Answers.
Don’t pretend you aren’t thrilled.
1) Have you ever been to Mississippi? If not, how close have you gotten?
No, I am fairly certain I have never been to Mississippi.
How close have I gotten to Mississippi?
I don’t know.
I need a map.
Yet, I am not going to get one.
So, here are the states I have been to, and you can let me know when I was the closest to the grand state of Mississippi.
Florida
Pennsylvania
Delaware
Maryland
Montana
Washington
Idaho
Oregon
California
2) Have you ever loved another man?
Have I ever loved another man?
Well, let’s examine this one, shall we?
Here is a picture of me and The Lumberjack on our wedding day:
When we got married, was the Lumberjack a man?
I think he was more of a man-boy.
No.
I did not love another man before the Lumberjack.
I strongly liked some boys.
But no men.
It would have been illegal.
And furthermore, I would have never ever ever called him The Lumberjack back in those days.
No.
I would have called him Mr.-Romantic-Who-Occasionally-Highlights-His-Hair-and-Would-Shop-At-The-Gap-With-Me-and-May-Have-Even-Visited-A-Tanning-Booth-Once-in-Prepartion-for-Prom.
3) How many kids did you think you would have?
When we were first married and kids seemed far off in our future, we used to talk about having 5 boys.
I am much wiser now and I know what boys are like.
And now I thank God daily that I don’t have 5 of them.
Does that sound mean?
I heart my boys.
I just don’t think I am a good mom for boys.
Let’s examine the facts:
*I dislike dirt
*I dislike guns
*I dislike chaos
*I make rules such as, “No Balls in the House”
*I don’t know what to do with little *ahem* units
*I don’t know how to properly potty train a boy.
*Boys scare me.
4) How did you and The Lumberjack meet?
We met in high school during my junior year and his senior year.
We were both dating other people, and neither relationship was going well.
We sat next to each other in accounting class and would discuss our woes.
Right before prom, the guy I was dating broke up with me.
You may ask, “How could anyone ever break up with you, O photogenic one?”
It truly is a mystery.
Any-who, silly boy who broke up with me decided he would still take me to the prom because I had probably already bought a dress (I hadn’t) so off we went.
And we sat at the same table as The Lumberjack, aka Mr.-Romantic-Who-Occasionally-Highlights-His-Hair-and-Would-Shop-At-The-Gap-With-Me-and-Even-May-Have-Visited-A-Tanning-Booth-Once-in-Prepartion-for-Prom, and his date, aka the girl he was no longer getting along with.
So there we are.
Me-I am hoping that my date will end up liking me again.
My date- He is wishing he was with someone else
LJ- He is wishing the night was over
LJ’s Date-She is wishing the night was over.
We were a fun table.
No one was talking.
Finally, LJ breaks the awkward silence that has hovered over our love-cursed table.
“Hey, Taylor. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate this room?”
“Um . . . why?”
“Hey, Taylor. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate these salt and pepper shakers?”
I wanted to kill him.
“I don’t know.”
“Hey, Taylor. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate this tablecloth?”
Oh, what a dreadful night that was.
The only person talking to me was this overly tanned guy from my accounting class and all he could think of to talk to me about was rating inanimate objects on a scale of 1-10.
More reasons why that night was dreadful:
1) The guy I was with did not speak to me the whole night.
2) I had just had my fourth knee surgery, so I had a stupid knee brace on and I looked pretty lame (no pun intended) when I walked around.
3) I had just had a really, really, really bad perm.
4) The lady who gave me a really, really, really bad perm also cut my bangs way, way, way, way too short.
5) I looked really way stupid.
6) I didn’t have a dress. So I had to borrow one from my friend who was thinner than I. It was not flattering.
7) When my date dropped me off, he spoke to me for the first time. He said, “Bye. Thanks for ruining my senior prom.”
I really hated that night.
But, lo and behold, LJ and his lady friend broke up, I got over my old beau, and the rest is history.
Fact: Old boyfriend went on to marry a lovely lady who he is very nice to and they are expecting their 5th child.
Fact: There are no hard feelings towards Old boyfriend.
Fact: If it wasn’t for Old boyfriend, I would have never met my Lumberjack.
5) Are you done having kids?
Hmmm . . .
Let me think.
Yes.
Yes Sir-ee, Bob.
Oh, yes.
Yes, yes, yes.
6) What is the age difference of your kids?
The girls are 15 months apart.
Then there is a 3 year break.
When Handsome Dude came along, Sweet Pea was 4, Daisy Mae turned 3 the day after he was born.
Then, when Handsome Dude was 15 months old, Little Dude was born.
So we had 4 kids in 5 years.
And no, none of them were planned.
We were shocked and bewildered every time.
And yes, we get asked this a lot:
“Don’t you two know how that happens?”
And I have finally came up with the perfect response!
Are you ready for it?
Are you ready for it?
“Yes! It’s so fun! Have you tried it?”
Oh, dear.
I crossed the line again.
Dear Lord,
Please help this not to be the 1 out of 10 posts my parents read.
Amen.
7) How do you handle more than one kid?
I don’t.
hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
But, seriously.
It’s a madhouse over here.
One of my tricks when the kids are young is to keep a pack and play in the living room as a playpen.
Because when Little Dude was born, Handsome Dude was 15 months old and he was a busy little punk.
I had to keep Handsome Dude alive.
Even though my world was spinning out of control and I had no handle on anything, I felt keeping him alive was the least I could do.
So, when I would be banished to the couch nursing Little Dude, I would sometimes stick Handsome Dude in the pack and play so he could live to see another day.
Again, it was the least I could do.
He wasn’t a fan.
Fact: Handsome Dude used to find my toilet cleaning brush, use his tiny imagination to turn it into a sword, and chase his sister’s all around with it.
And there I would be.
On the couch.
Breastfeeding.
I.
Hate.
Breastfeeding.
My girls would cry out, “Help us! Help us!”
Yes.
I would be tempted to ignore them.
But again, it is my duty as a mother to not only keep Handsome Dude alive, but to also save my girls from being repeatedly hit by a nasty toilet brush.
So, I would run around the house chasing Handsome Dude, while trying to maintain Little Dude’s suction.
I.
Hate.
Breastfeeding.
So, for the sake of keeping my girls from getting stabbed with a toilet brush, keeping Handsome Dude alive, and feeding Little Dude without making him nauseous, I would put Handsome Dude in the pack and play.
Having four is definitely busy.
Thankfully, our girls are old enough to be good helpers.
Also, we aren’t as worried about things anymore.
We let more things slide.
For example, I guarantee you I would have never allowed my girls to be ruffians and sit on a couch like this:
No.
That would not have been safe.
Actually, I really don’t like it still.
But the Lumberjack keeps thwarting all my good parenting plans.
And I am tired of fighting The Lumberjack on safety issues.
Besides.
If I try and argue, he’s just going to give me a wedgie.
And he has coerced Little Dude into joining his team.
The team of Not Safe.
Rock on, Dad!
Rock on!
Alright!
I’m off to plan two more birthday parties!
Wish me luck!
Happy Thursday!
P.S.-Guess who is having a BimBaby?
Cute!
Little Dude actually looks kind of cute with his head shaved.
Ok, so now I need to see a picture of you from prom! Come on…you know you want to show everyone =)
This was fun. Thanks for ruining my Senior Prom? Ouch.
And you have daughters. Which means you get to relive a little of the drama that is highschool with your own in a few years. Good times!
wait…Bimlissa is preggo?? am I right??
What??? Bimlissa is having a baby!!?? How exciting, Bimlissa! Congrats! Just because I don’t personally know you doesn’t mean I don’t feel like I do. (are you as confused as me?) I am so bimcited for you!
Loved your story of the prom–so classic.
Also, you are wonderwoman. I may have mentioned that multiple times in the past.
What a total jerk of a date you had! I would mention his name in your world famous blog so that he would feel the pain and embarrassment of being known all over creation as a total jerk. There’s always a way to get even.
You’ve discovered the secret to raising boys. Keep them alive. And then occasionally remind them that they don’t live in a boys’ locker room. Eventually they will also be trained by their sisters so that one day they will curb their animalistic behavior and settle down with a wonderful girl that will shake her head whenever you say, “I’m sorry. I did the best I could.”
Watch it, lady!
My husband is an amazing man, a wonderful father and my best friend.
I doubt anyone would want to be judged based on silly things they did or said in high school. 😉
Just goes to show how small blogworld is. 😉
There’s definitely a lot that changes between high school and ten years later, especially when it comes to the maturity of boys! I’m glad to hear he turned out to be such a great guy. 🙂
You are right, wife of former boyfriend! 🙂 I forgot to mention how former boyfriend turned out. I added a bit to the post so people can see that.
Don’t worry- I wasn’t offended!
Yes, he’s a wonderful guy. And it’s a hilarious story that “Former Boyfriend” and I still laugh over. 🙂
Hmm….were we at the same table at prom? Only kidding, but it does sound strangely familiar. Also, I think you are crazy for ever having desired 5 BOYS. Yikes. I think the kids you have are perfect. I used to dream about having 2 boys and 2 girls, so that everyone would have a brother and a sister.
That was fun……can we do it again! I loved you sharin’ your wonderful story with us. The prom pic…you just too darn cute!
Have a fun~filled day filled with blessings from above!!!
thanks for ruining my sr prom?? that is so harsh!!
Oh my. That prom story is painful even to read.
This is my favorite post…since the Cancun airport story. I didn’t have the Lumberjack pegged for a highlighting/tanning kind of guy.
Awesome post! Did LJ experience a head injury between high school and now that altered his personality? I mean, based on my vast knowledge of him via your blog, I can’t imagine him tanning & highlighting. Truly.
My four are 20 months apart–four year break–18 months apart. So you have me beat. Makes me tired just thinking about it.
And BTW,
I.
Miss.
Breastfeeding.
But I’ll still be your bloggy friend. 😉
And I am going to be a Bimgrandma again!!
Thanks for the laugh today! I loved the prom story and I am so sorry that it went so terribly, but you did get to sit with the LJ 🙂 I understand the wanting 5 boys, I always wanted twin boys… then I had one and re-thought that prayer! And we get the same question you get about the unexpectedness of three (in our case) un-planned children. I like your answer for it! Might have to use that one next time! 😉
Is it the breastfeeding, or the “tied to the couch while the rest the children go on a free-for-all in your house” that you hate? ME? Glad you asked…it is the “free-for-all” that I hate. Breastfeeding = good. It makes me get skinny 😉
Me = 4 children in 5 years…but I got a two for one deal out of it. We should make it a club. When asked at the hospital one afternoon shortly after the birth of #4 if we knew what “caused it”. My response was, “Yes, we did it on purpose. It was fun!” The asker, a retired gentleman and poor soul who bore the brunt of my post-pardum exhaustion, just laughed and said, “Good to hear.”
My husband and I dated in highschool too! And your description (“Mr.-Romantic-Who-Occasionally-Highlights-His-Hair-and-Would-Shop-At-The-Gap-With-Me-and-Even-May-Have-Visited-A-Tanning-Booth-Once-in-Prepartion-for-Prom”)is pretty right on for him too except I don’t think he ever had highlights. So fun – loving the Q&A.
Could this be the two things Dave told you never ever to blog about? I have been as far as Chicago. I had no idea you’d been to so many states. Let’s see…? hmm Colorado, Utah, Nevada, CA, Montana, Idaho, Oregon, Washington, Illinois, Indiana, Arizona, Mexico, Hawaii. Trying to get to New Mexico in the next two years. Ha! tanning and hair color?
Ha! No, that’s not them!
I have one boy. And that is enough. You are my hero for having two.
Loved the prom story. We definately NEED a picture! Hard to believe your LJ went tanning and highlighted his hair. Just goes to show how much we change after high school!
Too cute. Good luck on the birthday parties and tell that man to stop giving you wedgies 🙂
You are a brave, brave woman!
High school…crazy times. Never want to go back.
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER.
I wanted six boys when I was younger (in high school…what was wrong with me?). I have one and that is PLEN! TY!
I think that if one of my kids ever took hold of the toilet brush, much less ran around the house with it, I would have to wash them in a bleach bath and then move.
Bimlissa is having a baby!?
I loved the prom story, but something was missing. I was trying to picture the too-tight dress with horrible perm-tooshort bangs hair, and gimp leg, sounds like you were gorgeous! Need pics 🙂
“When we got married, was the Lumberjack a man? I think he was more of a man-boy.”
Love that! So true of yet to be married men.
Haha. I loved these post… Sounds like it all turned out for the best!
Great pictures!