We have some very important issues to discuss.
1) No one correctly guessed the movie in yesterday’s post.
This has completely and utterly devastated me.
So much so that I will give you all another chance.
“Baby Steps get out of the chair . . . baby steps out the door . . . baby steps down the hall . . . “
And, because I am da bomb, I will give you one more clue:
“I’m a sailer! I sail! AHOY!”
So hilarious.
2) Guess who is having a bimbaby?
Bimlissa is having a baby!
She is due around October-ish!
3) Why did I have my super-cool pal, Sarah, hold up this shirt?
Well, of course because Dwight wore one just like it in an Office episode.
Would you like to hear a little tale about wolf shirts?
When The Lumberjack and I were on the plane to Cancun, the airline showed some movies and tv shows.
You know.
For our viewing enjoyment.
And one such enjoyable viewing was The Office Wedding Episode.
So, The Lumberjack and I don our headphones so that we can watch this humorous program.
Now, not everyone on the plane is watching this show.
And every time I start giggling and laughing, The Lumberjack nudges me and reminds me that I look like an idiot because it looks like I am just sitting in my seat laughing.
Lumberjacks are really concerned with image.
So, we are at the scene where Dwight comes out wearing the wolf shirt.
And I just can’t contain myself any longer.
LJ (short for Lumberjack-keep up, people!): SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Me: *giggle*
LJ: Stop!
Me: But look at Dwight’s shirt!
LJ: Shhhhh!
Me: He looks like Jason!
LJ: Huh?
Me: Remember? Jason’s wolf shirt?
LJ: Oh, yeah! Haha!
Me: *giggle*
LJ: Shhhhh!
Yes, dear readers.
Jason has a wolf shirt.
And, quite honestly, he rocks it.
Rock on, Jason.
Rock on.
Dear Jason,
Next time you wear your wolf shirt, I might be snapping a picture and I may or may not be putting it in my blog.
I cannot be certain.
But I probably will.
Yours fondly,
Taylor
4) Comment of the Week time!
This week goes to my dear friend Mindy, who has been a faithful supporter and commenter on my blog since just about the beginning.
She is commenting on my latest Not Me! post and, frankly, her comment was better than any Not Me! post I have ever attempted.
Mindy.
You nailed it.
Start a blog.
The world needs you.
“I did not get into a swimsuit that my body is terribly unready for and swim in a pool. I did not turn my head away every time there was splashing so my face didn’t get wet, and I did not leave my family in the pool and decide I’d rather hang out in the hot tub. That would be a little sad.
I also did not leave my house in a wreck that looked like a tornado went through it, and then have someone want to come look at the house. I mean, not me. My house is always perfect. Thank goodness we didn’t have to kill ourselves for two hours cleaning the house before we could show the house. That would have been exhausting for a lazy Sunday afternoon.”
Nice job, Mindy.
Nice job.
Everyone say hi to Mindy!
She doesn’t have a blog.
(Boo, Mindy. Boo)
So, you can’t really go say hi.
Instead, just shout, “Hi, Mindy!” at your computer.
That will suffice.
5) I would like everyone to know that The Lumberjack just walked by, looked at the title of this post, and shouted,
“What?! You have baby fever? Goodness, Taylor. Isn’t 4 enough?”
Oh, that was fun to do to him.
And that will segway me into my next point.
6) Baby fever.
I’ve got a fever . . . and the only prescription is more cowbell.
(Name that actor)
So . . . guess who became a big sister this week?
My niece, Little Miss!
Yes.
The Lumberjack’s sister, Lisa, had a little girl on Wednesday.
Which also happened to be Daisy Mae’s birthday!
I have not yet come up with her super cool blog code name.
I welcome your suggestions.
Sisters . . .sisters . . . there were never such devoted sisters . . .
(Name that movie)
(That was for you, Mindy-Lou)
And here I am.
Holding a baby.
A cute, tiny, cuddly baby.
And bonus!
I did not have to birth her!
Win-win!
So . . .about the Baby Fever.
I don’t really want more kids.
But I do sometimes get sad when I realize I won’t have a baby again.
And I start to ponder the things about babies and pregnancy I like.
Then I start to get sad for things that will never be.
So, to help me get cure my Baby Fever, I have created a list of horrible things that occur during pregnancy/baby stage.
And I remind myself of these things when the fever is coming on.
Here is my list:
1) Worry. I worry from the moment I find out I am pregnant to the moment I hear the first heartbeat to the time I see the first ultrasound to the time the baby is born.
Then I worry about all the things that could go wrong.
And, well, basically, I worry the whole time.
2) 1st Trimester yuckiness.
3) That stage where you don’t look pregnant, but you certainly don’t look trim.
And people stare at your stomach.
And you know they want to ask if you are pregnant.
But they can’t tell what is going on with your belly.
Is she pregnant?
Is she fat?
Does she just need to do some sit-ups?
Did she eat a big lunch?
4) Maternity pants.
Specifically, panels.
More specifically, the fact that by the time I climb a flight of stairs, my pants have nearly fallen off.
5) Heartburn
6) Hemorrhoids (not that I got them)
7) Stretchmarks (I ain’t gonna lie. I got them)
8 ) Heart Murmurs
9) Hearing the doctor say, “Let’s check you!”
Oh, the invasion of privacy.
10) Getting on the scale.
Having the nurse “guess” which 50 pound group on the scale you are in.
Hearing nurse say, “Oh, wow! You are heavier than you look!”
Hearing the dreadful “clunk” when she graduates you to a new 50 pound weight class.
Oh, the horror.
11) Hearing doctor say, “You didn’t gain much this month, but I am not worried since you were so overweight to begin with.”
True story.
So sad.
12) Thinking you are really close when you hit 36 weeks, and then as each day drags on, you realize you are not close at all.
13) Going 9 days overdue.
14) Childbirth in general.
It’s a drag, folks.
A real bummer.
15) Not being able to count on just one hand the number of people who have seen you indecent.
16) The afterbirth.
Attention men: I should have warned you earlier. This might not be the post for you. Sorry about that. Come back another day.
17) Post-Partum Maxi Pads.
Yeah.
You know the ones.
Brings a whole new meaning to the expression, “From Horn to Hoof”
18) Breastfeeding.
I know.
For some of you crazies, this was a perk.
Not so for me.
I loathed breastfeeding.
19) Again, hemorrhoids.
Again, not that I know about such things.
20) Having someone ask you when you baby is due when you have your week-old baby in a car seat right next to you.
21) Wearing maternity clothes for weeks on end after baby is born.
22) Varicose Veins.
23) Being excited when you sleep 4 hours straight at night.
24) Still wearing maternity clothes.
25) Still breastfeeding.
26) Still loathing breastfeeding.
27) Chasing around other children while breastfeeding.
28) Getting procedure to remove varicose veins.
Yes!
Those are my legs!
No!
You can’t borrow my medical compression stockings.
Get your own.
29) Having someone ask you when your baby is due when you have your 6 week old baby in the car seat next to you.
30) Trying to fold your stomach into your old jeans.
Not that I had to do that.
Alright.
That’s all I can think of for now.
Feel free to add to my list.
Happy Weekend!
Ha ha! That was a great post.
Let me add a few to the list (I may or may not have had these!)
1.Itchy feet!
2. Suppressing the gag reflex every time you open the fridge, even though you already cleaned it a million times! It just smells like fridge.
3. Throwing up after eating chicken… at your brother’s wedding… You’d think after throwing up twice before you’d realize chicken and this pregnancy aren’t meant to go together.
4. Not being able to see your toes.
5. Falling into the toilet because Someone left the seat up, and you’re getting up for the fourth time to pee that night, and are trying to pee without waking up, so you keep your eyes shut and then BOOM you wake up inside the toilet (I’m not saying this happened to me…twice).
6. Having to stop three times on a 3-hour road trip to pee.
7. Vomiting at work
8. Wearing maxi pads with ICE
Okay I’m going to stop now…
There were some nice things, too.. you know, like the baby at the end? But that’s off topic 🙂
Baby steps… What about Bob!
My least favorite things about pregnancy have already been nailed.
Except getting in and out of the car. Especially when your “car” is your husband’s beastly Ford F150. And he has to hoist you up or shove you into it using your giant childbearing rear and hips.
But we don’t own an F150…(or do we?)
Okay, the cowbell is super easy–Jon Voight on SNL. One of my very favorite sketches.
I’m not sure that I’ll ever be cured of baby fever What helps is reminding myself that I turn 40 tomorrow (gasp!) and that a certain recent medical procedure has most likely taken care of the issue. And there’s always foster care and/or adoption. 🙂
I must add to your list the umbilical hernia that was diagnosed last week (thanks to my abdominal muscles never recovering) and which will probably be surgically repaired. I’m just hoping the sewing will have the added blessing of helping that area in general. Kind of a hernia repair/tummy tuck combo. 😉
I’m not sure I will ever get over the visual of the varicose vein photo, missy – pretty much traumatized me. Your yucky stuff list is pretty complete – good job! And yes, I’m gonna be a Great-Aunt again – times two!!! My sister is gonna have a blissful year as a Grandma!
Thanks for the list, I needed the reminder.
Dear husband, all clear to schedule vasectomy.
HI MINDY!
Ugh… Thanks for the list since I’m only in the first trimester!!!! Just kidding. It is miserable. Thankfully this is the last one. I can only hope this goes fast. Always seems slow when you’re in it.
I’m one of those reciculous people who literally love being pregnant. I used to joke about being a surrogate…. I’d never give em away though, I also happen to enjoy breastfeeding. Washing tiny little clothing, bathing helpless little squalling creatures, …. ok, so I’m a bad influence on this post and better leave.
what about Bob?
Holiday Inn
Are you legs better? Did procedure work? Was it worth it?
Yes, it really would be nice if the stork brought us our very own biological newborn right to your doorstep to love and cuddle without destroying your body. But there are kids out there who have no parents. No pregnancy. No delivery. Just questionable heritage and tempermant. I guess there is no easy way. Congratulations on your new niece. I see a future of shared birthday parties. Congratulations Bimlissa & family. I bet you’re the only ones who call her Bimlissa.
Did LJ really say: “Goodness”. On a scale of devastating moments truly the one where they move the weight across the bar onto a new notch is really close to the top of the list. Thanks for reliving that horrid visual. Wishing you fun birthday parties for HD and Daisy Mae. Wish I were there. was there? I’m refinishing a nightstand. I live in an apartment. There’s a visual. Sawdust everywhere. Even sawdust boogers!
Oh Taylor, the timing of this post is perfect. I am totally having baby fever! And this post was a great reminder of why NOT to do it until Rachel’s comment. I too enjoyed being pregnant and loved nursing. And I miss the feel of little hands and feet kicking around inside my belly and a baby at the breast. But alas, it has been many years since I have been pregnant or given birth and I am certian I have blocked out any negative memories and am holding onto the positives. And truly, would I really want to start all over again?
White Christmas!
I am far from baby fever and not yet ready for grandbaby fever…
college diploma, job, marriage, then grandbabies…that’s for my kids in case they are reading here : )
I finally know an answer! Sisters is from White Christmas and my daughters sing it around the house all the time.
Wanna cure baby fever? Remember, they all have to be teenagers sometime. I had four teenagers at once. Cured the fever. I love my kids, I even love them when they are teenagers, it just takes a lot of work, a lot of talking, a lot of prayer, a lot of talking, a lot of prayer……
Then, you let them grow up and have the babies. Being a Gramma rocks!
Sorry Heather. I am in the midst of it. Do I really want another one? I’m not sure, it changes from day to day, hour to hour even as I deal with life, praying for direction for my heart. My youngest is 4 1/2. He doesn’t make the kindergarten cut off this year, but I’m already dreading next year when He is gone and I am in the first stages of empty-nest. Even 3 hours a day seems much much too long. I feel desperate to find myself and find a new purpose as my old purpose seems to fade away.
I know my kids will still need me, they do need me, but it is much changed from the utter need of infanthood. I struggle to know who I am now and what I am to be. My hubby doesn’t want more kids and doesn’t want ours homeschooled. Both of those seem to be where my heart leads me for purpose. So … what am I now. Is this how every mom feels as her kids grow?
I know, I know… not my blog and I’m on the verge of writing a book. sigh. tear. anyone?
Thanks. I hear ya. I too am seeking and praying to see if this is the right thing to do or if it is just a passing feeling. My youngest is 10 and I also have a 14 yr old. I am already feeling the empty nest pains. I can not imagine what it will be like without them here. I am actually enjoying my teenager! I do miss the feel of having a little one snuggled in my lap though. Unfortunately I work full time now (I didn’t when my kids were younger), I can not bear the thought of leaving a baby with someone else! It weighs heavy on my heart and in this decision. My husband thinks this will pass soon, or at least he is hoping it will!
Keep praying and seeking God’s will. The Lord will lead you right where He wants you. He will open doors as time goes on. He can not open them until the time is right. He has great purpose for your life! For now being a mom and wife are at the top of the list. Your kids will ALWAYS need you, just in different ways. You may also find that you actually enjoy a little alone time when your youngest goes to school, you never know!
Well, now here I am almost writing a book….I could go on and on…. I hope you have an awesome day 🙂
Breastfeeding wasn’t my thing either. Having something attached to me several hours a day just did nothing for me.
I was prone to hurl at any time-24 hours a day-7 days a week for 9 months straight.
What really irked me was the RN who’d never had a baby telling me what to do during the delivery. GAH! Lady, you’ve no idea, just GO AWAY!
I have a few more to add to your list, Taylor:
1. falling in the shower at your in-laws’ house bc at 9 months pregnant you have no balance…having your brother-in-law knocking on the door to check on you bc the thud of your 9 month pregnant body hitting the floor was loud enough to wake the dead.
2. constipation
3. abdominal muscles that NEVER recover
4. A c-section scar that makes swimsuit buying time even more traumatic than it already is
5. Not being able to have a glass of wine if I want one
6. having your milk let down when any baby in America is crying
7. nursing pads
Having your in-laws and other random strangers rub and talk to your belly. That is NOT ok! Do you see my husband or parents doing that? No! So, on what planet did you think it would be ok for you to do it?!?!
Oh, but I do have baby fever 🙂
White Christmas is the only movie reference I know. Does that make me old?? Wasn’t that movie made in 1867 or something?
As for baby fever, I’ve got it BIG TIME! My pregnancies were all so easy going, but my 3rd I was a MAJOR worrier. After having my daughter (who was born with Down syndrome) it made me realize I wasn’t invincible to something going “wrong” (not that having Down syndrome is “wrong”, it’s just not what I expected). I wasn’t worried about Down syndrome, that’s a walk in the park. I was worried about all of the more devastating things that exist. I still miss being preganant though, and I love love love the newborn stage. I know, I’m weird.
#31…the zipper (aka c-section scar)
I am so with you on that whole “pants falling off every time you walk up the stairs” thing. This is why I’m wearing dresses every day and plan on continuing this until the baby is born…no matter how horrible I look!
“Trying to fold your stomach into your old jeans” made me laugh so hard.
And then when I was reading through the comments I saw that Joyce begins hers with “White Christmas!” and I thought that was a way of saying something like,”Holy smokes!” or the like (as in,”White Christmas! I do not have baby fever!”), until I figured out a bit later that it was the answer to the question that I forgot you asked.
I am a doofus.
What?? I got two shout-outs?? I am so stinking happy right now. I finally made comment of the week, and now my life is complete. Thank you, World!
Also, it’s just the perfect caption to the picture, and I adore you for sharing it. And you called me Mindy-Lou, which is a favorite nickname of mine, so again, my cup overfloweth! 🙂
I was almost in tears laughing about your list, because we are talking about #3, and ah, how quickly I forget. The “hoof to horn” comment almost woke my family up from a dead sleep, I’m still cracking up. Oh dear, I’m going to have to print out this post and frame it or something. I made it onto the famous LJ’s wife blog!!
Love ya lady! Thanks again!! Oh, and thanks Erin for the shout-out! Woo-hoo!
White Christmas!! Love that movie.
Crazy, diabolical, head spinning mood swings that send the older children running in terror.
Christopher Walken said the cowbell bit!
to add to your list:
Getting vertigo so bad that when getting up to pee in the middle of the night I’d fall to the right smashing into the 80’s era mirrored closet doors. I never forgot to close the doors so I never actually fell into the closet at 3:44am. I do not know how it feels to grab a bunch of jeans to break my fall thereby snapping one or two plastic hangers. I also do not know what it’s like to call for your husband repeatedly to help you get up out of the closet because your butt is in a rubbermaid bin half full of socks and have him not hear you and instead have your six year old walk in to save the day. Nope, not me.
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Well, I’m new to your blog and didn’t comment when I should have on the name of the movie in your previous post…of course it’s “What about Bob” our all-time favorite family movie. I knew at the first “baby step to the….” which movie it was. We pretty much feel like Bob is part of our family. Whenever we are trying really hard to do something one of us is liable to yell out…”Leave me alone, I’m baby stepping!”
On another note, I’ve enjoyed reading your blog. I’m a mom of four children, too, although my “baby” is turning 18 in a few weeks…enjoy your time with the little ones because it flies by in a moments time!
Hope your legs are doing better.