Adjectives?!
Aren’t you thrilled?
Well, you should be.
This is going to be one exciting post.
I hope you got your party pants on.
Funny
Funny is the word I use to describe this week’s, “Comment of the Week.”
Oh!
I’m sorry!
Did you not know about the “Comment of the Week” award?
Well . . . let me tell ya . . .
It is clearly the highest achievement that a blog commenter of this era could ever strive for.
And this week’s winner is Jill!
Everyone go say “Hi!” to Jill.
Or shout “Hi!” right now.
The choice is yours.
She commented on my post The Doctor’s Office.
“Next time take the pregnancy test at home, so you know for sure personally. Then at the doctor’s office, have Handsome Dude pee in the cup.”
Ah!
Brilliant idea!
And speaking of Handsome Dude peeing . . .
Nasty
Do you see this laundry room?
Please locate with your eyes the dryer.
Now look under the dryer.
Yes.
That’s right.
A new sub floor.
Now, on this very morning as we were doing our usual, “Hurry up! Or we are going to be late for school!” morning routine, Handsome Dude started yelling for me.
HD (Handsome Dude! Keep up people!): Mommy! Mommy! Come here!
Me: What?
HD: Look! Here!
So, I looked.
And right by the dryer, on the new sub floor, was a very large, wet puddle.
Me: Dude . . . did you pee on the dryer?
HD: I not!
Me: Well, what is it then?
HD: Cokey did it.
Interruption: Cokey is his name for Little Dude.
I look at Little Dude who is still fully dressed with his diaper intact.
Me: I don’t think so, bud.
HD: Ha-ha did.
Interruption: Ha-ha is his nickname for Daisy Mae.
Me: No. She doesn’t pee like that.
HD: Mabel (our dog) did it.
I am beginning to fear that my son, my precious boy, just might be lying to me.
Me: Dude . . . is that pee?
HD: No! Is not!
Me: Did you dump over Mabel’s water?
HD: Yes!
So, I grab some paper towels and put them on the mystery puddle.
Yellow.
Yellow, yellow, yellow.
Me: Dude. This is pee.
HD: Ok, mommy. Sorry, mommy.
Fact: I will most certainly be nipping this behavior in the bud immediately.
Question.
Have you ever tried to clean pee off of sub floor?
It’s kind of tricky, since it soaks right in.
So, there we are.
Late as usual.
No one is ready.
I look a fright.
And my mother-in-law calls to say she will be stopping by in 5 minutes.
Speaking of my mother-in-law . . .
Strange
Soon after The Lumberjack and I got married, we were over at my in-laws house for dinner.
My mother-in-law asked me to come with her to her bedroom.
Once we got there, she opened up a drawer and pulled out a small, clear bag.
Ma-in-law: I would like to give this to you.
Me: Oh!
Ma-in-law: I have saved them all these years, waiting to give them to David’s wife.
Interruption: The name “David” is what one would most often hear when being around The Lumberjack.
Me: Oh! Wow! What is this?
Ma-in-law: All of his baby teeth. I’ve saved them all these years.
Me: Wow!
Ma-in-law: See I have all of my children’s right here!
Me: Wow!
Oh, how I heart my mother in law.
She is strange . . .
but in a good way.
Attention Amy:
If things work out between you and Jason, you might be getting a small bag of teeth.
Know that it was given to you in love.
I’m sorry!
Do you all not know who Jason is?
He is The Lumberjack’s younger brother.
Jason.
You know.
Jason.
I would like to state for the record that it has been one full week since I have used that picture.
I’m cutting back, I promise.
Baby steps.
Attention Holly:
If things continue in relationship-gloriousness with you and Big-A, you also might be handed a bag of teeth.
Please understand.
This is a prestigious honor.
I’m sorry!
Do you all not know who Big-A is?
Big-A is Alex.
He is The Lumberjack’s older younger brother.
Attention: Jack!
Did you get a bag of Lisa’s teeth?
Jack is married to Lisa.
Jack does not read this blog.
I should make fun of him more.
It would truly be convenient.
Lisa is The Lumberjack’s older sister.
Oh, my in-laws.
So strange.
And I love them.
Speaking of love . . .
Precious
Look at this baby!
She is Lisa’s baby . . . my new niece!
I must have her.
Can we not all agree that she looks somewhat like what my lumberjacklings looked like when they were babies?
Proof:
100 (meaningless) points to whoever/whomever can guess which baby of mine that is.
200 (meaningless) points to whoever/whomever can tell me if I should use whoever or whomever in that sentence.
Thank you.
Poor Little Dude.
He was a teeny-bit jealous of me holding that sweet baby.
It’s a good thing he decided to man up and put his brave face on.
Sweet baby is giving me a little touch of baby fever.
I don’t know why . . .
Focus, Taylor!
Focus!
Babies grow up!
They get bigger!
They get naughty!
They even get . . .
gross.
Yes.
Not only do they make the poo-poo.
They have blowouts.
Then you have to potty train.
You also have to teach them stuff.
Impart wisdom, if you will.
Stuff like:
You will not pee on mommy’s major appliances!
and
You do not throw dog poo at your sisters!
And . . .
You will not write your name on your armrest in mommy’s truck!
Seriously.
5 million (meaningless) points to whoever/whomever/whatever can tell me what the trick is to getting ink out of that plastic-vinyl-ish material of the interior of my truck.
I am full of motherly wisdom.
And, finally . . .
Lame
Our final segment is
The Lumberjack Takes A Picture . . . for the People:
Thrilling, Lumberjack.
Thrilling.
Well, people?
Do you love it?
Do you?
Happy Weekend!
soooo stinking funny! 🙂 aerosol hairspray is what I have heard takes pen out of vinyl.
Oh Shoot! Melissa gave away my answer to getting ink out. Aerosol hairspray. Also, fingernail polish remover.
I think the baby is Daisy Mae.
Regarding yesterday’s comment on perfection. Sorry I blew up. I didn’t mean to get so ‘Talk Show Hosty’ on you.
What does LJ do when you tell him about HDs peeing incidents?
No worries! The Lumberjack has a “talking-to” with Handsome Dude.
We are united in our beliefs that peeing on appliances is wrong.
We are divided on our beliefs that little boys peeing in the backyard is wrong.
You win some . . . you lose some.
Polish remover sounds like a good idea, I’ve never tried it! And I’m gonna guess, for no good reason, that it is Handsome Dude in that picture.
And I think the baby teeth thing is kinda creepy, but it could be interpreted as sweet…mostly creepy, though!
Yes, it was Handsome Dude! Score, Mindy!
Oh, how I laugh. I hope that’s okay, because if it were me I think I might cry instead.
And I think it’s “whomever” since it follows a preposition.
Spot Shot.
Find spot.
Spray.
Scrub.
Magic!
It isn’t for trucks and such. I think it is for carpets. However, we have had names, numbers, smily faces, and “Mommy is stupid” written on various items. Spot shot works. I buy it at Sams.
It is probably toxic, and will one day proabably kill me. However, there won’t be words like, “Mommy is stupid” written on my truck….
BTW, Mommy is stupid because she makes us do our school work. Stupid, stupid mommy.
Okay, in the first place I am so honored to have solved your urine test problems. And I’m thrilled to have the comment of the week. I’m not so thrilled that my comment was about pee, but hey, I’ll take what I can get.
As for peeing on the appliances–males pee on things to mark their territory (ala dogs). The best you can hope for is a. they pee outside; and b. as they get older they resort to symbolically peeing on their belongings instead of literally. But one way or another, they will mark their territory. Forever.
With regard to the ink on your truck’s armrest–forget about it. With four kids, there’s no way that vehicle will ever be salvageable. You will have no trade in value, and you won’t ever be able to sell it. Give the kids markers and let them have a ball.
Your truck will be retarded, but you will be the coolest mommy on the block.
I think the baby is Handsome Dude and the adjectives were fun! 🙂
The baby is Handsome Dude, I’m sure of it.
Have you tried the Oh-So-Magic Eraser on the ink?
P.S. Definitely “whomever.”
I love Magic Erasers! I use them all the time. I tried it in the truck, but no luck! 🙁
Please know that I am in no way trying to compare your Handsome Dude to a badly behaved animal, but . . . well we once had cat pee on the sub floor. It was recommended that we paint over it with Kilz before we laid the actual floor.
Also, we got rid of the cat who could never, ever understand that she should NOT pee on the floor. But again – not comparing! Please keep your son even if he does pee on major appliances. 😉
De-Solv-It is a mom’s best friend! It is non-poisonous, non-inflammatory and made of a citrus base. I use it for everything.
Peeing on appliances? I tell you, you have an exciting life. Nothing good like that happened in my house today. 🙂
Have a great weekend!
Oh Taylor…. that’s all I can say. Wait, there is one other thing I can say. The peeing on the dryer: my kids never did that. Now, peeing on the dog? That they did.
OK, I’m tired. I meant non-flammable, but I am sure you all understood that.
Hate to tell you sister, but the peeing on odd things just doesn’t get better as the get older…it gets more creative. I caught my 12, the that is a 1 AND a 2 put together, TWELVE, as is “he should know better” year old peeing off a bridge yesterday…I have photographic proof. I am still debating as to whether I am going to post it or not.
Try Mr. Clean Magic Eraser
or a tiny bit of nail polish remover on a q-tip but test it first because sometimes nail polish remover does bad things to furniture like your sister’s white dresser top. Not that I would know.
It’s never dull here : ) I love visiting.
Have a nice weekend.
A bag of teeth?? Really??? Very strange for sure. My MIL kept her kids’ umbilical cords (but I don’t think she gave it to me thank goodness) and her and my DH insisted that I keep my kids’ umbilical cords too. Yes, the little scabby little thing that falls off after a few weeks. Gross.
Wow. Oh, wow. Teeth, hmm, priceless. 🙂 Thanks for the heads up and the laugh! I just have to know…what did you do with the teeth Taylor?
I don’t remember!!! Oops! They are either hidden away in some sort of secret tub in my house or I insisted that my ma-in-law keep them! 🙂
As I read your posts – it becomes clearer to me why God created menopause. I think it is too hard to stomach small children and their bodily fluids as you get older.. You, however, are young and strong with many good years ahead of you…. so enjoy!
I just threw away a ziploc bag of my girls’ baby teeth. My husband was picking on me because I was having a hard time letting them go. *lol* I didn’t think to save them for their future husbands.
btw… check out my blog for an award!
Michelle! You should have totally saved them for the future husbands!
Thank you for the award!!! WooHoo! I really appreciate it! 🙂
Where do I begin?
First, pet enzymes work well on everybody’s pee puddles.
Second, I think it’s ‘whomever’, but it’s just my best guess.
Third, did you get a new floor or just new socks? I’m new to this blog, so I’m just not sure. They both look fabulous!
Fourth, love your blog. Mentioned you today on my blog, because I can’t believe it took me so long to stumble upon you.
Fifth, Happy Weekend!
-FringeGirl
Thank you for mentioning me on your blog today! You need to leave your link so I can find yours!! 🙂
Ok . . . I will try and catch you up a bit! We bought our house 7 years ago and have been SLOWLY remodeling it. The laundry room is the last full room that needs to be done. (we still have some odds and ends in the kitchen and such). My husband just started working on it this week (woohoo!). He just put in a new sub floor and the next morning, my son peed on it!
Fabulous!
About the socks-My husband recently got his own camera and has been taking pictures “for the people” (meaning my blog readers). He usually takes dumb pictures of me. But I found this one on his memory card . . . what a goof! 🙂 No, they are not new socks at all. He is just taking an exciting picture! 🙂
You are so funny! I’m glad Domestic Fringe shared you on her blog.
Ink on vinyl: rubbing alcohol
Pee on subfloor: enzyme cleaner used to neutralize dog pee. Or vinegar (except your laundry room will smell like a tossed salad for awhile).
Cindy
sidetrackedartist.blogspot.com
wheatlessfoodie.blogspot.com
Okay, I see someone told you about rubbing alcohol. Every nurse needs to know about rubbing alcohol because at some point we all stick an uncapped pen in our scrub pocket…And even sometimes wash said pens! That stuff got it out every time!
Oh, and the way you keep the whomever/whoever thing straight is you decide if you would say him/he, or her/she….him & her =whomever (I use the “m” in him to remind me) then the he/she is whoever. Yes, my oldest sister is a librarian former English teacher & my middle sister is a college speech professor. My poor grammar did not stand a chance…
Well, I’m a goober too – I have all my son’s baby teeth but my daughter-in-law isn’t getting them, dig? They’re mine all mine…
Have you ever tried simple Green? It is probably in the automotive dept. of the Walmarts and is amazing!
Teeth. You should keep them in LJ’s gun safe.
My son has peed in the bathtub. Not like, “Hee hee I’m a cute baby and I pee peed in the tub while taking a bath.” But more like “Ha ha, I’m eight and standing outside the tub and there’s still water in it from my sister’s baths and maybe it needs a little urine to make it more awesome.”
Yep.
Yeah. So if anyone tells you how to correctly use whoever or whomever please send them to my blog then then will an additional 1,000 bonus points. I need LOTS of help in the grammar dept.
Love that beautiful niece of yours!!
Blessings-
Amanda
Teeth huh?? hhhhmmm, I wouldn’t know what to do with them?
WD-40 will take off Sharpie marker…ask me how I know.
(3 boys)