Interruption: Today is actually Saturday, not Sunday.
I just felt the title sounded hip and cool.
Over and out.
Today was Sweet Pea’s first soccer game.
She actually had two . . . but the second was cancelled due to the gargantuan downpour of rain.
It was certainly pleasant to sit and watch.
And now . . . if the tribal council will allow, I would like to quote Dr. Seuss . . .
The sun did not shine.
It was too wet to play.
So we sat in the house all that cold, cold wet day.
(Name that book)
After the game, Sweet Pea and I were completely and utterly drenched.
So, we rushed home and changed into warm clothes, built a fire, made hot chocolate, and watched Music Man.
I dare you, nay, I double-dog dare you to come up with a more delightful flick than Music Man.
You might be wondering where the rest of the family was during this torrential downpour.
Well, they were also experiencing it over at the other soccer field for Daisy Mae’s practice.
Afterwards, The Lumberjack made those poor Lumberjacklings go to the dump (or, for you “proper folk”, the transfer station) and then they had to go get a truckload of dirt.
Yes, that’s right.
Dirt.
We lead exciting lives over here.
So, the “others” came home and interrupted our grand movie/laundry folding party and I had to get up and make some lunch while The Lumberjack and Handsome Dude left to go hook up my parent’s new hot tub.
Is there anything my man can’t do?
When my husband and third born came home, it was time to unload the dirt.
You may ask,
“Taylor. Why on earth do you need a truckload of dirt?”
And I will answer,
“Dear Reader . . . you assume that I understand anything about home improvement and that I have a clue as to what goes on in my Lumberjack’s head.”
But, I did ask my main man why he was doing such crazy things on a lovely Saturday.
You see, our front yard is shaded by three very large trees.
And in the seven years that we have lived here, we have not had a decent lawn.
Ever.
It is quite disheartening.
Quite.
So, the Lumberjack, in all his contractorly/electricianally/lumberjackishly wisdom decided to spread a fresh layer of dirt on the lawn and then reseed.
I suppose it is worth a shot.
But I will bet you one whole dollar that it won’t work.
Nevertheless, I will let him have his moment.
Can I just say that I am having an awful lot of trouble figuring out this camera?
I mean, if I cannot take a decent picture, then I ask you . . .
WHAT IS THE POINT?
Please notice, the weather has changed to quite a gorgeous day, as is the custom in our neck of the woods.
*sigh*
Adjusting focus, aperture, shutter speed, tunnel length, megabytes, uploading, flash on, flash off . . .
Victory!
So, after I folded yet another load of laundry, I decided I would meander out there and see if I could be of any assistance.
But first, I would be requiring a cup of coffee.
Finally, I ventured out there and asked him if I should help out by raking.
LJ: Nope. I got it.
Fact: This means that he knows I will mess it up.
Fact: I find this character trait to be annoying in my husband.
Me: Well, give me a job.
LJ: You can fill the wheelbarrow with dirt.
Sounds simple enough.
So, I get to join Handsome Dude in the truck and load the wheelbarrow.
Now, you haven’t lived until you have stood in the back of a truck full of dirt, loaded dirt into a wheelbarrow, and tried to dodge your son’s shovel as he nearly violated you upon several occasions.
Handsome Dude was pretty cute throughout the whole process.
He informed me that “Daddy’s truck was berry dirty” about 25 times.
Get it?
Dirt?
Dirty?
Oh, Handsome Dude. You are a hoot.
Fact: The Lumberjack, being in the “general contractor” mood that he was in, decided that I was not doing a good enough job.
A-nnoying.
He would not even think of taking the wheelbarrow unless it was heaping full.
So, if I had not moved quickly enough, he would hop in the truck, push right past me, and show me how it’s done.
A-nnoying.
Me: Dude. Go spread the dirt.
LJ: But, hon. The wheelbarrow isn’t full.
Me: Does it matter that it is only 2/3rd full? Really?
LJ: To me it does.
Me: Go spread the dirt.
LJ: When the wheelbarrow is full.
A-nnoying.
Not that I would ever be annoyed at my main man.
Dear Lumberjack,
It is time we accepted it.
I will never be your Wendy.
(Name that TV show)
***
And now, I would like to offer up Reason #437 why my husband needs a back 40:
Yes, those are, in fact, my daughters standing on the 4-wheeler, next to the playhouse, next to my husband’s work vehicle!
***
Reason #9, 834, 413 why one should not wear socks with sandals:
Particularly when haulin’ dirt around.
Reason #789 why I am a terrible photographer:
I focused in on the wrong stud.
Ha!
*chuckle, chuckle*
That was a little “contractor humor” for y’all.
***
So, the Lumberjack primed and painted and went to Home Depot . . .
then he primed some more . . .
and forgot more stuff and drove back to Home Depot . . .
then he painted.
I took the Lumberjacklings on a walk, as I was finding all this manual labor to be a bit of a bore.
We came home and had dinner.
We feasted on a delicious dinner of baked chicken, baked potatoes, and green beans.
Low cholesterol and everything.
Got to watch those things now . . . I am nearly 30 afterall.
Then, dear readers, the most exciting thing happened . . .
It was bedtime!
For the children, of course.
Ha!
Do you think The Lumberjack and I would get to go to bed?
Silly, readers!
It was only 8pm.
Plenty of time to install our new laundry room floor.
I was quite devastated when The Lumberjack accepted my offer of help.
Not that I don’t want to help.
I just don’t know how to help.
I mean, really.
Who knows how to install a floor?
I can make lasagna.
I can clean a toilet.
I can even change a diaper, while instructing children on how to pack their backpacks, while talking on the phone, while brushing my own teeth.
But installing floors?
No.
LJ: Ok, it is really important that you get all the lines straight or you will ruin the whole floor.
Me: Are you sure you want me on this particular job? Shall I just bring you some ice water?
LJ: You will be fine.
Me: Whatever you say.
So, I am installing . . . like a pro, I might add, and I notice that some of my tile-y thing-a-ma-jibbers have slight gaps in them.
Me: Um . . . oops?
LJ: What?
Me: Did I mess it up?
LJ: Well, just keep going.
Me: But did I mess it up?
LJ: It’s been laid.
And I would just like to state for the record that My Lumberjack, the General Contractor himself, made the biggest mistake on the tiley-thing-a-ma-bobs.
Thankyouverymuch.
Happy Weekend!
PS-AFTER 7 YEARS, I, YES I, TAYLOR MAL-I-BLAH-BLAH, AM GETTING A BONA FIDE LAUNDRY ROOM FLOOR.
HOLLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The End.
Yay! That’s awesome a floor!
The show is bob the builder, the book is cat in the hat!
You are correct, my darling!
Focused on the wrong stud—bwahahaha! Can we give you comment of the week?
And seriously. Do you know anyone who calls it the transfer station? That would be an insult to where we live.
I know, right? I am so very proud of that comment. In fact, I think it was the funniest thing I have ever come up with. I am never going to be able to top that one.
I might as well quit now. 🙂
It might, however, be in bad taste to award myself my own blog’s award.
Thoughts?
I had kind of forgotten that you didn’t have a laundry floor, I was just so used to it the way it was.
And I hope the hot tub is up and working when I return as I will get handsome on that thing in no time!
You are going to get handsome on it?
Exsqueeze me?
Baking powder?
(Name that movie)
What is this phrase you are using, dear sister?
It is so very foreign to me . . .
Just butting in to say Waynes World. Thanks. Leaving now!(Never heard that comment either, by the way)
My husband painted houses for a living at one time. So when our own interior needed painting, I did not do it. I figured I shouldn’t waste my time because it would take me twice as long and it wouldn’t look as nice. My professional hubby should do it.
He told me to do it.
He repainted when he got home.
See? Waste of time. I don’t reclean something he’s cleaned. Oh, wait a minute …
Let’s start slow.
Photography tip number one. (written by a total amateur)
Try shooting in aperture priority setting. That way you will only have to adjust one thing, and the camera will take care of the rest. Plus you wont get that silly flash popping up and ruining pictures.
Switch your focus points to using center focus only. That way you will only have one little red dot in the middle. When you go to take your picture, make sure that little red dot is on the subject. You can press the shutter button halfway down while focusing, then (while holding it down), you can reframe your shot so that it looks the way you want it to.
(That means as long as you’re holding the shutter button down after focusing, you can move the camera around and it will still focus on what you want it to. And your subject doesn’t have to stay in the middle of your picture every time.)
Clear as mud?
Great!
Ha! Ok, Erin, I have NO idea what you are saying. Here’s how it goes down with me and aforementioned camera:
1) I turn it on.
2) I always have it set on Automatic, never manual.
3) I know how to switch the settings (like no flash, nighttime, profile, etc . . . I don’t know when it is appropriate to use them . . . but that is an issue for another day)
4) Sometimes my camera is just flat out fickle and will not let me take a picture. No matter how many times I refocus.
5) I switch to manual mode, because manual mode always allows me to take a picture, but I would like to state for the record that I have never taken a successful picture in manual mode.
6) I was totally just bragging when I saw throwing out words such as aperature and shutter speed, as I know not what they are.
7) I appreciate all your wisdome and help, but you were speaking jibberish.
8 ) I have never seen this “so-called” red dot you speak of.
But thank you, nonetheless.
Did you know I am a bit of a photographer? Not to brag, I’m just saying….maybe we could look at your camera together. Someday. When you are not crazy busy with 4 kids. That is, someday soon, not in 18 years or something! 🙂 Holla!!
I swear to you we are living the same life…
except we are 10yrs older.
and have one less kid.
and I don’t have any girls.
and we play baseball/football, not soccer.
Okay, maybe not the EXACT same life, but
I swear this day could have been a description of one of many I have had, right down to the getting in the truck and doing it himself. Brace yourself honey, they may mellow a little bit, but some things dont change, but really, would you want them to?
I am not allowed to touch the yard…even mowing the grass must be done in some such a way that my feeble PhD mind cannot grasp…or so he thinks. I am only allowed to touch the dirt in my little garden boxes and the water inside the pool…other than that, the outside belongs to the husband…must be a man thing.
I am, however, allowed to cook, clean, run errands, raise 3 children, feed all the animals, taxi everybody around everywhere, fix all the broken hearts, pay bills etc…sometimes like you said, all at the same time. 🙂
I repeat…it must be a man thing…can’t live with em…and can’t live without em’ :):)
what a productive day! Cat in the Hat and Bob the Builder. I must say, I do NOT miss Bob the Builder in this house! I would gladly trade it for Pokemon and Avatar any day!! 🙂 Bummer about the rainy weather for soccer. Spring soccer in our neck of the woods is just silliness! So is Little League – opening day yesterday was a drag in the pouring rain!
Frankly, I od not care to work with my husband on any DIY project. He gets cranky because I can’t read his mind and do things the way he THINKS it ought to be done. So he gives me ambiguous directions and gets even more cranky when I don’t understand them.
Oh, well. I just cringe and do what I can. At least we women get points for trying.
I say your lumberjack needs a round of applause. Trust me, you should be happy, and very thankful, that he does all the handyman stuff around the house!
Now you won’t have ickiness on your subfloor that is impossible to clean. Now you will be able to mop all said ickiness up!
1. Cat in the Hat
2. Bob the Builder
Looks like your LJ is making lots of progress on your laundry room…yay!
Focused on the wrong stud.
Heh.
Heh.
Hey, I saw you at church this morning – you were walking very quickly & talking to someone (also very quickly) and all I could do was look at my hubby & say “hey, that was Taylor Mal-a-blah-blah”….to which he replied “who dat?”
And I definitely knew the Bob The Builder question……
We get dirt…
Truck loads at a time…
I think we have put more dirt on our dirt than there was dirt in the first place.
Fun times! Does your dirt stick to your shoes in amazing clumping stickiness?
I confess! I laughed out loud at the stud joke. I love it!
I also love hot chocolate after a cold, rainy morning outside. So fun!
You are going to love this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eOu16x69Pw
hahaha
Also, you are making me feel very old.
Ha! Funny video . . . I love the animation! 🙂
PS-I am pretty sure we are about the same age.
Don’t feel old . . . I am usually just clueless. 🙂
Taylor, you are so funny!
Isn’t it great when our darling husbands make the bigger mistakes! Takes the pressure right off of us and then they can’t say anything. We try. That’s all that matters. Floor looks great. Your on your way!
And I beg to differ, I say you make a very good Wendy!
i think the floor looks fabulous!! but i am not an expert, so…. an don’t feel bad, i can’t take a good picture to save my life!!
It’s so nice that you offer to help. Whenever Rich starts on a project I quickly look around for something that will make me look VERY busy.
Second best blog ever! You totally win for using violated and aperture in your entry.
I think you found your calling.
Thanks! What’s the first one? 🙂
The one with the photo of the thermostat. The one I can never find. That’s the best.
I wonder when Handsome Dude will ‘mark’ his territory?
Perhaps I should not have rated it best but more accurately funniest! Thanks
The answer to your lawn problem is moss. Not ugly moss. They have mosses that are pretty and green and durable (like, can be walked on) and love the shade and NEVER HAVE TO BE MOWED.
It’s wonderful.
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