Help for Marge.

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***

My child did not don socks with sandals this weekend.

Again.

And he most certainly has not been regularly wearing them ever since I made the following bold statement on my blog:

“Fact:  Socks with sandals goes against everything I believe in.”

I still share in those feelings.

I am just too busy to care.

***

Daisy Mae lost yet another tooth this weekend.

That does not mean she is waiting on about six teeth to grow in simultaneously.

Poor child.

Poor, toothless child.

Poor, toothless, sassy child.

She asked me if the tooth fairy was real . . . and I did not quickly and shamefully change the subject.

Mayday!

Mayday!

I cannot hold out much longer!

Daisy Mae is going to eventually figure out that Mommy is acting like she didn’t hear the question.

Daisy Mae put her tooth under her pillow.

Then at 4am, yes . . . that’s right, 4am, she most certainly did not barge into our room wailing that the tooth fairy forgot to come.

And I would like to state for the record that the Tooth Fairy surely did not forget to come.

I have a feeling she was just tardy.

So, Daisy Mae went back to sleep and the Tooth Fairy got her hiney in gear.

The Tooth Fairy could not find the tooth anywhere.

So, the Tooth Fairy did not just ignore that minor detail, leave the cash, and walk away.

Daisy Mae did not notice.

Nor was she upset.

Interruption:  I am not using a picture from an old post.

No.

Not me.

Daisy Mae did not then try to leave her tooth again the very next night.

Turns out my Daisy Mae is a hooligan!

 

Who knew?!

*********

Random Not-Me-Topic Quick Change!

So . . .

I have this friend.

Let’s call her . . . Marge.

Simply for the fact that “Marge” is a stellar name.

Marge has this problem that she is embarrassed to talk about.

Remember this is not my problem.

I am just asking . . . for Marge.

Sometimes, and it happens quite rarely, Marge might get some underarm perspiration.

Now, personally, I cannot relate to her issues, but I am doing my best to help her out.

Upon occasion, Marge’s white tanks and shirts might start to show a yellowish tint in aforementioned underarm areas.

Again . . . I do not know for sure, this is just Marge’s description.

Anyways, Marge was wondering if anyone out there is cyber world had any tips on removing said stains from white clothing.

So-

Any tips?

Any ideas?

Any suggestions?

Marge will be truly grateful.

And so will I.

Not because I share in Marge’s woes, of course.

But because you helped out my dear friend.

Happy Monday, Dudes!

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28 Responses to Help for Marge.

  1. Melissa says:

    make sure she doesn’t talk to my daughter about the tooth fairy, she will ruin all her hopes and dreams!! i think my kids found out about the tooth fairy sometime after they had been loosing teeth and felt robbed. 🙂

  2. Poor Marge. She’s so lucky to have a friend like you 🙂

  3. Amber says:

    Poor Marge, I do not know what she is experiencing! And I definitely do not use a Clorox bleach pen for those pesky stains.

  4. The whole tooth fairy thing is such a stress for parents! When I was growing up my Mom had me leave my tooth in a glass of water, and the tooth fairy would drop coins in it. Somehow she convinced me that was the Tooth Fairy’s preferred method. I did the same with my kids. No lost teeth and you only have to give change! It was a win for us.
    Also –
    Marge called. She said stop hiding behind her yellow-stained back.

  5. Sarah C says:

    Thank goodness I was “never” a waitress and “never” had to wear those white dress shirts. I also “never” made my own stains on those white shirts like Marge is talking about. Once I relised this “wasn’t” happening I “wouldn’t” come home from work and scrub like a mad lady at the yellow pit stains on my shirt and then soak it in luke warm soapy water! Nope wasn’t me. But if you do not scrub it right away and the stain has time to sit in you may as well throw it away, because I wouldn’t know at all what you or Marge are talking about.
    Just saying 😉

  6. Melissa k says:

    Google is Marge’s friend. And I quote:

    “I swear by Yellow Out. It is available in Canada and the USA. In the US you will find it at Ace hardware, and Walmart. You can also check out on the internet where to find it in your area.”

    and

    “My aunt use to use baking soda and peroxide. She made them into a paste and scrubbed into the area and let set for 30 minutes then washed as normal. This worked well back when we were waitresses and had to wear all white. ”

    I hope Marge has some success. I’m sure no one will be studying her more carefully the next time they see her in a white shirt.

    😉

  7. Jill says:

    Tell Marge to quit wearing white shirts.

    My kids never knew about the tooth fairy. They brought their teeth to me and demanded money up front.

  8. Lisa says:

    Tell “Marge” that Goop worked well for…the stains on my husband’s white shirts. You can usually find a round container of this mysterious product around the laundry section. It’s also great for cleaning up grease, chocolate, blood, and any other stubborn stain on those white clothes.

  9. Christina says:

    All I can think of is Pee Wee Herman in a big rig with a scary lady. I don’t know if there is hope for her pit stains.

    By the way, I’m 35 (until September!)…so there are a few years in between us. 🙂

  10. Ah, that tooth fairy – she never lives up to expectation. Just last night I was hoping for a visit. Not for a lost tooth, mind you, just some company, a friend with whom to share some sugary candy and cola, and not one tooth fairy arrived. Broken hearted was I.

  11. Mindy says:

    Personally, I have never had this problem. Not me, because that would be gross and un-lady like. And I am the epitomy of ladylikeness. I have never owned white tanks and shirts with embarassing stains, and then continued to wear them anyway. Yuck. Not me. I have no idea what Marge is talking about, but just because I am a very curious person, when you find out for Marge what the solution to this problem is, call me and let me know. Just because. I don’t really care, at all, I just like to be informed.

  12. Tiffany says:

    That forgetful Tooth Fairy. She is always running a bit late and seems to make her appearance just at the crack of dawn at my house. She has forgotten a few times which required some heavy explaining from me. I even had to write this Fairy a letter telling her not to forget again.
    Those yellow stains? Sounds like it’s time to buy new shirts. “Not” that I have ever had that but that is what I what do.

  13. Tell Marge to buy her white t-shirts somewhere cheap and then just get new ones every year.

    Save the big money for black tees. 🙂

  14. Diana says:

    I don’t have anything to suggest to help Marge…but maybe some of the ideas others have mentioned will work.

    In our family the kids often had to leave a note to remind the Tooth Fairy that their tooth was under their pillow :-/ Also, my oldest daughter got her teeth really early and as a result she lost them early. When we were excitedly telling her about the Tooth Fairy she freaked out! She was so afraid of the idea of the Tooth Fairy flying into her room while she was sleeping that we had to calm her down by telling her the “truth” about the Tooth Fairy!! Fortunately we have 3 other children we were able to experience the fun of the Tooth Fairy with 🙂

  15. Kim says:

    Once the stains are there and they have gone through the dryer cycle, there really is nothing that you can do. HOWEVER, if you soak them right away in bleach (the first time) and then hang them outside to dry in the sunshine, it will make a huge difference.

    Also, I read one time that when you put on deoderant make sure that it is dry before you put your shirt/blouse on.

    Good luck ~ Kim

  16. Kendra says:

    Step one: put old shirt in trash
    Step two: buy new shirt
    step three: do NOT buy white shirt

    Really, what mom of 4 little ones buys white shirts, you silly girl!

    PS- One night, the tooth-fairy thought it would be fun to leave a note responding to the note that Princess Hope left for said fairy. The following morning the little missy said, “MOM! You are the tooth fairy. This is your handwriting. Don’t even try to lie to me.”

    Oh well…stupid tooth fairy.

  17. datenutloaf says:

    I hope you don’t put the tooth in a plastic bag under the pillow – aaaaahhhh I’m worried about suffocation.

    Mix equal parts Cascade with Clorox 2 or other similar products with hottest water or even boiling water. Soak overnite. Will work on just about any stain. Ex: one cup each with 5 gallons of hot water. Milk stains, baby clothes stains etc. This comes from the Tightwad Gazette.

    I use plain bar soap preferably Ivory rub it in, use a toothbrush to scrape, sometimes even with a little white toothpaste and there has been very few stains I can’t get out this way. The blood, or grease stains I get Carbona at the fabric store with my 40% off coupon. They are specific for each stain and work perfectly. You can probably look up Carbona on internet. You know that neat Rugby stripe shirt I got for HD? The white part was ruined with chocolate. Bar soap and a toothbrush!! Be careful – bleach works but ruins fabric. I cannot recommend soaking anything in bleach. I sometimes will dab on some diluted bleach with a q-tip, but I rinse it off immediately.

  18. datenutloaf says:

    I feel invincible at thrift stores. Me worry? Nope. I can buy anything stained, or anything too large. Why? Because I can get out any stain, and make too large things smaller. I got some skills, people. Even too small things. I buy them too – because there’s a whole world full of little girls with dolls. I’m like LJ of fabric.

  19. Joyce says:

    Thanks for the comment : ) You are sweet. (btw-I mean it…that’s not a Not Me Monday kind of remark that you should read as ‘not’)

    I suggest you buy new white shirts. That’s my tip. Actually I stole it from Martha Stewart because someone asked her that question once and she said-
    ‘Throw them away and buy new”…works for me.

  20. Andi says:

    As you can see by previous comments it is too much hassle to get out yellow stains.

    I will admit outright that I have terrible sweating problems. I think it’s anxiety driven. Then, if I start sweating, I freak out about it and it just gets worse and worse. Gross, I know. Anyway, I recommend Certain Dry deodorant. You put it on at night, and it will absolutely stop sweating. Period. End of story…

    There you go.

  21. Dawn says:

    We wear lots of white tshirts and undershirts at our house and they get grayish and grungy and yellowish and yucky. Dump a scoop of OxyClean in a bucket, fill it with HOT water and put the shirts in. Use a long handled wooden spoon to agitate and stir the shirts around because you don’t want to burn your hands on the exceedingly hot water. Let the shirts soak overnight. Dump off the water and check for cleanliness. Soak again if necessary. When you’re ready to wash the shirts, put them along with the oxy water in the washing machine. I don’t add more soap. Then wash in hot water.

    I LOVE Oxy-Clean! I also wash vintage linens (it takes out even really old food stains without harming the color) and stinky towels in it. (I don’t soak the towels, but I do the linens).

  22. Allie says:

    Hilarious! That was a great post.
    And…sometimes the Tooth Fairy doesn’t come, but the Pirate Tooth Thief comes in her place.

  23. Very funny post! I too have “forgotten” to tooth fairy it up and been awakened in the early morning by crying or the money has slipped out from under their pillow and between the bed and the wall. It is tough to play ignorant as they believe to have been jipped and I know that the money has to be there somewhere. Sorry, no tips for Marge, I have just given up and thrown shirts away 🙁

  24. Christina says:

    I didn’t know you were so close to Seattle! If Pike Street = big fish market…I don’t know if I can go there! 🙂

    • thelumberjackswife says:

      Oh, but they are so funny-they just throw fish all around! And the flowers are beautemous and the original Starbucks is there! Go! Go!

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