Dear Lumberjack,
I would like to submit a complaint. I have heard rumors of people who use these contraptions to heat their homes:
Apparently, all you need to do is turn the knob and the house will magically heat itself.
If the weather outside is frightful, no worries.
This little unit is so smart, it will work even harder to keep us nice and cozy.
Were you not aware of this, Lumberjack?
Because that would mean that this:
is completely unnecessary.
And if that is the case, then we would no longer need to feed and fuel this hungry beast around the clock from October through May.
We would also not need to put the kettle on and keep that full round the clock.
If that beast was not in our home, perhaps we could have room for that massage chair you have always wanted.
And our baby would not be covered in fudgesicle goo and screaming because he was abandoned in a dirty exersaucer in the backyard.
And speaking of the backyard, have you seen ours lately?
This is what it looks like when four children are left unattended while the adults sweat and slave away to prepare wood for winter, like prairie folk.
I am not cut out for this kind of life.
But just think of the pros:
If we did not heat with wood heat, we would not need a wood splitter, truck, cables, chain saws, axes, splitting mauls, and a CB radio.
We would not need to worry about the pipes freezing if the fire dies out.
I would not be late everywhere I go because
a) I forgot to load the fire
b) I overestimated the size of the log and cannot close the wood stove door
c) I unknowingly got sap all over my hands and ran my fingers through my hair, bringing a whole new meaning to the phrase “bad hair day”
d) I accidentally let the fire die and I must go gather twigs in the yard because I am not strong enough to split kindling.
If we did not heat with wood heat, we would not have to worry about our youngins eating bark and wood chips off the floor.
You would not have to wake up at 4am to go fall a tree and be a lumberjack.
Wait!! If you didn't have wood heat then you would have to be like me and worry about the the power going out and how you were going to keep your family warm… and you also would be paying lots of $200 electricity and gas bills… not fun! I think you'd rather be splitting logs than paying those bills, don't you? 🙂 I love wood heat. I grew up with it so it's nostalgic to me. 😉
Yes, but…I would not be on a mission making long nitegowns and “tozy” robes to keep them all warm. I can’t keep up with four kids, but I can sure try. But wait, now I got Neil’s barbershop quartet…. sheeeeesh
We heat with wood too, but we are in N Tx, so it isn’t as cold as it is for y’all up there in the arctic.
I got the log splitter for my 17th wedding anniversary, and last birthday thatJoeguy got me a lovely 12ft Poulan pole saw…I wanted a disbudding iron for my goats.
Oh well, the life of a country wife is never dull!
This may be an old post, but it is certainly a good one!!!
But think about it, if you didn’t heat with wood; you would not be a a Lumberjacks wife as he would not need to be a Lumberjack. What would you be then?
Normal!
ha!
I kid!
I jest!
Sorry you’re feeling antsy & worried. I can relate.
Hope your day goes well 🙂
I feel for you. I grew up with a wood burning stove and I hate, hate, HATED hauling wood. And sappy clothes, and picking up chips and on and on . . .
Sorry for your bad day.
Oh. My. Goodness.
Your posts make me laugh so much and, where I work, I need to laugh everyday. It is the only thing that keeps me sane. 😉
To get out of your funk I suggest dropping the boys off here, getting a coffee and hitting your favorite jewelery store!!
Melissa has a good idea! You should do that. Shopping and coffee is calling your name! (Mine, too!)
I get out of a funk by listening to the Christian station on the radio. It’s hard to listen to worship music for long and not be affected in a good way. Just an idea. Also, laughter. However you come by it, is always good.
P.S. I knew i had read this post! It was like I was having creepy de-ja-vu or something until I saw the pic of Little Dude and new it was a recycled post. Still cute, though!
You’re forgetting one big pro of wood fireplaces: they smell so yummy and they are always cozy.
Of course, I have central heat and air, but my future mother and father-in-law heat by wood. I love walking up and heating my backside of the fire. 🙂
Marla @ http://www.asthefarmturns.wordpress.com
When I was little we had a similar wood pile – not that we didn’t have central heating, but our home was old and full of holes and freezing all winter, so we also tried to heat with fire.
Though without fancy machines – my dad would just spend all his time in the backyard with an axe.
Now that’s a hobby.
My husband would be so jealous of all the tools and such you all have in your backyard. We used to live in a wooded area, and he went out to cut down a few “dead” trees that he didn’t want falling on our house. Then he wanted to “thin things out a little”. I finally stopped him before he completely cut down our small woods!
When we moved to Florida, we had to sign up with a home owners’ association. (Spawn of the devil!) My husband mourned because he could no longer park his boat in our front yard. I think that’s probably the one good thing about the HOA!
Sorry you’re in a funk. It usually helps me just to get out of the house, get some fresh air, see other people. Where I live some of the malls have play areas for the kids and I could take them there, get a coffee and just relax while the kids play. I also agree that laughter helps…that’s why I read your blog! Hope you’re feeling yourself again soon.
“Longer” by Dan Fogelberg!
I am so glad that you re-shared this 🙂 H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S!!!
1. chocolate…something good or at least some peanut m & m’s…if nothing else break into the bag of choc. chips.
2. a pedicure…course you’ve got little ones so you’d need a pedicure and a babysitter to go with.
3. calling my mom and/or sister on the phone
4. blasting praise music
5. long hot soak in the tub…again you’d have to add a sitter
6. baking something and giving some of it away to a neighbor or friend
7. a walk in the fresh air
I wish I lived close…I’d love to entertain your babies while you did any/all of the above. ((hugs))
Hey Lumberjill (I like the name btw),
You make such valid points and I feel your pain through it. I was wondering also about your gas and electric bills and how much you are saving with all of these headaches. I think the smell in your home adds some charm, but that being said, I would have lots of cons on my list, too. Stay warm, girl. 🙂
It’s good to be back here again as my life tries to find normalcy amongst the many boxes surrounding me.
As far as getting out of a funk… sometimes I stay there in my misery, but if I want out I pray, talk to a girlfriend, blog, or look for the blessings all around me and count myself truly blessed. But like I said earlier, sometimes I stay in that bad place because it’s easier not to work at getting out and then I beat myself up later.
I <3 you!
Oh, goodness… we would be very cold people if we had to rely on wood for our heat. We’re not terribly resourceful people in that outdoorsy sort of way.
Sorry about the blues. My experience is that they come and go… usually. Hope your funk lifts soon.
Dear Lumberjill,
I am sorry you are having a tough day and find yourself in a funk. I’ve been there too lately, but these are the things that seem to help me:
1. Retail therapy ~ I love to shop…the lighting, the sounds, the smell of the stores…it makes me feel good and if I find a really good bargain, I get such a high
2. Long, hot bubble baths ~ although you’ll have to pawn your kids off on someone else or wait till LJ gets home to entertain them, because you can’t relax in the tub with kids constantly knocking on the door asking what you’re doing and when you’re coming out.
3. Go for a drive…put the windows down, blast the praise music, and sing at the top of your lungs
I hope you feel better soon!
If my husband insisted on heating with wood, he would never hear the end of it! Luckily, it doesn’t get that cold here – we’ve turned on the heat about ten times this winter. I feel your pain!
We used to have a wood furnace and a fire place. Talk about the beast eatin’ up the wood. We now have propane but still use the fireplace. The fireplace really let’s turn down the propane plus we just like backin’ up to a fireplace when we come in from the cold. I get in all the wood and take care of keepin’ the fire goin’. I’m kinda a pyro anyway.
God bless ya and have a terrific Tuesday!!!
Um… move to Texas! I have candles in my fireplace because they are pretty, and only have a fireplace because they are pretty. Oh yeah, and I only have a pretty fireplace to put pretty pictures on the mantle.
P.S.- I love PS-es
P2S Try this instead
P3S See…you don’t have to count or type P’s
You seem to have as much wood as you do beef in the freezer. I think LJ just enjoys things in excess!
A nap in the sunshine is what did it for me today…that’d be hard w 4 little ones running around though…sometimes it’s nice to have teenagers…sometimes 🙂
Funny post! You weren’t kidding about the lumberjack business 🙂
Can one get out of a funk?
Just kidding, although I have been in some bad ones.
Chocolate helps, indeed, as someone mentioned. And I have found that drinking a two-liter of soda a day gives me quite a giddy personality. I don’t know that I would recommend that route, and I know Jillian wouldn’t like it. But…I’m smiling most of each day!
Ja, ja, ja, (Mexican laugh). I’m glad you re-post it for your Auntie “Datenutloaf”. I can not stop laughing.
THANK YOU!
Alba H. Rodriguez
Funk remedy:
1. Cup of coffee followed by a glass of water.
2. Brisk walk, ALONE (maybe with the dog)
3. Talk with best friend, in person if possible.
4. Long, hot shower…(not bath, shower…falling water creates negative ions which, despite the name actually give you a positive feeling.)
5. Go somewhere and let your husband or babysitter put the kids to bed. Do not come home until the kids are asleep.
6. Go to bed.
The end.