The Lumberjack and I met in high school. He was one year ahead of me. We went to school together for almost 2 years without even talking to each other.
Actually, he said he would get nervous trying to talk to me because he thought I looked too much like my younger sister, and could never remember which one of us was which.
I don’t know on what planet my sister and I would be indistinguishable.
I am clearly the larger model rocking the spiral perm.
I will bet you one whole dollar that my sis and I were performing the beloved duet, “Heart and Soul.”
Did anyone else ever play that duet continuously?
But, I digress.
About two weeks after he graduated, the Lumberjack called me and asked me out on a date.
Now at this point in time, I would have never called him the Lumberjack.
Instead, I would have referred to him as Mr. Sensitive-Guy-who-really-liked-me-and-shopping-at-the-Gap-and-who-once-visited-a-tanning-booth-and-even-highlighted-his-hair-upon-occasion.
My, how times have changed.
He still likes me, I guess, but we can just throw the sensitive guy, the shopping guy,the tanning parts, the hair parts, and most certainly, the Gap guy parts out the window.
We are certain to never see that man again.
Farewell, Mr. Sensitive-Guy-who-really-liked-me-and-shopping-at-the-Gap-and-who-once-visited-a-tanning-booth-and-even-highlighted-his-hair-upon-occasion.
Fare.
Thee.
Well.
However, for the purposes of this story, we will simply call him Mr. Gap.
Now, I must give you a little history:
On the day of Mr. Gap’s graduation, I was visiting my friend who lives up in the mountains. As I was leaving, my car’s brakes stopped working.
This was unfortunate because
A) Brakes are usually considered an asset
B) She lives on a MOUNTAIN
C) I was going downhill
D) Her driveway gets somewhat curvy.
I was 17 and sure I was about to die.
Nothing was working.
I put the car in park.
Nothing.
I slammed on the brakes 2.4 million times.
Nothing.
I screamed.
Nothing.
I honked.
Nothing.
I considered pulling the emergency brake. But I had an unhealthy fear of emergency brakes. You see, when I was a child, I asked my dad what an emergency brake was for.
“Well, it is the most powerful and strongest brake ever. We hardly EVER use it.”
So, as I am charging down the mountain driveway at 35 mph, I consider pulling the emergency brake.
But my dad’s words came back to haunt me.
I did not pull that emergency brake.
For if I did, I was certain to be ejected from the car, merely from the sheer force and strength of that powerful emergency brake.
Instead, I found it more suitable to flip my car.
Interruption: Is that not the most terrible picture quality ever? I seriously need help.
I have a Nikon D40 and sometimes when it is on automatic mode, it just will not take a picture.
It is a stubborn beast.
If I put it on manual mode, it takes a picture, but I don’t know how to focus it.
Please.
Help me.
So, there I was: hanging from my seatbelt.
Glass was shattered all underneath me.
I did, however, save the card.
I began screaming and honking my horn.
My friend’s neighbor came to my rescue.
He walked up to my door.
“Hello!” I said. “Can you help me? I seem to have flipped my car.”
And he laughed at me.
And then he got me out.
But the car was totalled.
But I still made it to Mr. Gap’s graduation, so I could give him a card and hope he would think I looked cute, despite the large bruises on my knee and forehead.
I was that dedicated.
And thus concludes my little story of what happened on Mr. Gap’s graduation day.
Fast forward two weeks: Mr. Gap asks me out.
He asks me to go to lunch on a Saturday at noon.
A few minutes before he came, my dad told me he was taking me car shopping.
I responded very snootily, and informed him that I would be busy all afternoon, for I had a date.
In retrospect, this was dumb because
A) MY DAD WANTED TO BUY ME A NEW CAR
B) I am sure Mr. Gap could have taken me to dinner instead
C) MY DAD WANTED TO BUY ME A NEW CAR
So, Mr. Gap picks me up.
As we drive away, he says:
“I was hoping to go to this sandwich shop downtown. My parents gave me a coupon!”
This was my first glimpse into the frugal lives of my crazykin in-laws.
We arrive at the restaurant.
I am extremely nervous.
You see, once my friend had found out that I had a lunch date, she made me go through rigorous date-eating etiquette lessons.
Apparently, I always grossed all my friends out because whenever I would eat, I would talk too much.
Also, things like pizza sauce and cream cheese would squirt through my teeth.
Yes, ladies and gents.
That’s right.
I was quite the find for Mr. Gap.
As we were eating, I dared him to eat a pepperoncine.
I should have known this would not go well, since he had already removed every vegetable and suspicious-looking sauce from his sandwich.
Picky pants.
He tried the hot pepper.
Then he began to spit out the pepper all over our table.
And guzzle water.
And spit.
And cough.
And spit.
And I never again worried about my eating etiquette.
For he, my dear friends, was a super gross eater.
So, we finished up and got in the car.
I thought it was going well.
We were chatting happily.
And then he pulled up to my house.
“Well, bye!”
I was disappointed.
He did not like me.
Maybe mustard squirted through my teeth.
I got into the house at 12:56.
My sister: “Why are you here? Didn’t you have a date?”
Me: “Yes. All done now!”
My sister: “Ha! Obviously that did not go well!”
Me: “Okay, Dad! I am ready to go car shopping now!”
My dad (in a very snooty voice): “Sorry. I made plans.”
Well, I don’t want to leave you all hanging, but Mr. Gap called me up and asked me out again.
I asked him later why he took me home so early.
His response?
“I only asked you out for lunch! I don’t know what else I am supposed to do with you!?”
We might need to change his name to Mr. Romantic.
***
He proposed on our 1 year dating anniversary.
We were married 1 year after that.
We keep popping out kids, and for the life of us, we cannot figure out why.
We have bought and fixed up two homes.
We are about to buy our first home on land.
And, this year, we are celebrating our 10 year anniversary.
The End.
Love this. What a great story, minus the car flipping!! You were cracking me up with the commentary! Love the olds pics, y’all have a beautiful family!
Happy Anniversary to two great people with mustard in their teeth! : )
Send me a message and I will see if I can help you with your camera.
I have a D90 and I am in school for Photography.
ingodsgracenow at gmail dot com
Happy Anniversary!
Good luck. She’s beyond help.
Kidding Taylor, Kidding!
I am darn tootin’ serious. Why does my camera do that? Why will it not take a picture?
Thank you-I will email soon!
I need to know if your dad ever bought you a car??? happy anniversary!
Yes-well he did the down and I paid the rest 🙂
You make me laugh every single time. I had a blind date once and this working guy (we were in our 20’s) tells me we’re going to use a great coupon for our dinner. Last time I went out with him. My brakes also went out on a mountain once- in TN and it was on the interstate. My emergency brake didn’t even work to use it. Happy 10! Ours is this fall and I can’t believe how time flies! We’re having a blast!
You always make me smile 🙂 Congratulations on ten years, here’s to many, many more! So I guess the laundry room is your gift?
Oh, I love this!
Heart and Soul! I haven’t thought about that in years!
Happy Anniversary sometime this year…you guys are so cute : )
Happy Anniversary!!! Mr. Romantic it is. Where did he take you for your second date?
I once had my brakes go out on me as I was entering a highway. Fun stuff – but luckily for me it was late and the highway was pretty empty. Seems like failing brakes is more common that you realize.
LOL!! That is a great story!!
I can’t get over your refusal to use the emergency brake during an… emergency.
You’re officially nuts.
And you run around your house “nekked” in hopes of raw cookie dough.
You are right.
I am the weird one.
Not “in hopes of” cookie dough– the cookie dough was a sure thing.
The knock on the door was simply an unforeseen obstacle
😉
super sweet story! congrats on 10 years.
First I have to say I’m so jelious that you are moving to ruleville on 20ac. The biggest mistake we ever made was giving up our well 😉
Also crazy, I too have had my mastercylinder go out in my car. but guess what, I too did the lets try to brake again, then scream my brains out, then try to brake again I did it! I pulled the E-brake 😉
I did drive through someones fence before I pulled it. Man what is it and the fear of the brake. I’m glad you brought this up. I will have to remember with my two young drivers I have to make sure they do not have the FEAR of the e-brake.
If I understood you correctly, you are using the same camera you had in high school. Perhaps, if you have not figured out how to use it by now it is time for a new one?
Just sayin’.
No! Ha! I was taking a picture of an old picture. The old picture is very much in focus. I could not get my new camera to focus on the old picture.
I am special like that.
Aw, and here I thought I’d come up with the perfect thing for LJ to get you for your anniversary. 😉
oh my…that could have beena lot worse!! the flipping of the car AND the date,i guess…LOL foodie friday post is up!!
http://blog-diggidy.com/index.php/2010/04/foodie-friday-week-2/
what happened to my comment?? LOL
that could have been a lot worse!! the fliiping of the car, i mean, but it could go for the first date too!! 🙂 happy tenth!! buster and i are going on 17 this year!! (october will be 17 years)…
foodie friday post is up!!
come join the fun!!
http://blog-diggidy.com/index.php/2010/04/foodie-friday-week-2/
taylor, i am tyring to leave a comment, but something isnt working…
maybe it will work this time?? i was just trying to say that the car flipping AND the date could have been worse and let you kow foodie friday post is up!! 🙂 congrats on ten years, too!! buster and i will be married 17 years in october!! 🙂
Your first two went to Spam-I think if you type an address into the comment it flags it as spam. 🙂
So funny! I too have been married all these years and keep poppin’ out babies..and people ask me all the time if I know where they come from.
Love your stories! Question: when you take a picture with the automatic setting one…do you just push the button down? Because a lot of times you need to push (and hold) the button half-way down, give it a chance to automatically focus, and then push the button the rest of the down.
* the rest of the way down.
Ha! so funny! I, too, have an irrational fear of the emergency brake. So glad you were safe!
Congrats on 10 years, that is so wonderful.
Oh, you are a sucker for that Lumberjack! Hilarious post- considering I have known you since that pic of you and your sister was taken!
I cannot BELIEVE you guys are moving.. I am guessing up north somewheres- boondockies- your kids will be hillbillies (j/k)
What are you gonna do with your current home?
OMG, that was a GREAT story. Made me laugh a lot!
Please get some help with the camera… love the story though! Happy Anniversary, may your next 10 years be as happy as the last 10!
Oh yes the camera on auto. I assume you are pointing the camera down towards the photo??? If you are then you are not getting enough light. Even if your flash is going off you still will not get enough light pointing down. Or you are not putting something in your focus box.
Happy Anniversary! Loved the story!
Cute story…did you ever get the new car??
Cute story…did you ever get the new car??
I had to laugh at the coupon comment.
Consider yourself lucky that you got food.
For the first few dates that the Mr. and I went on, he did not take me for food. My bff had just started dating the Mr.’s cousin (small town, don’t ya know), and we double-dated for the first few months.
We joked about taking sack lunches on our dates.
Living in a small town, word spread.
We finally got dinner out…to McD’s. It was better than nothing!
Congrats and happy anniversary!
Such a cute story!
Cxx