As you may recall from my previous postings, we have been working on rebuilding this old house of ours for the past 7 years.
Remodeling.
It’s all my children know in life.
And it is precisely the reason why my third-born, Handsome Dude, sleeps with a level.
But, I digress.
Back in the early days, we had to live at my parents house while we gutted out our home.
I was very pregnant and looking charming . . .
as is always the case with me.
Yes.
I am taking pictures of pictures.
Classy, I know.
So, the Lumberjack, who is, in fact, an electrician would work during the day, electrifying things.
Then he would head to the other house and work on making it inhabitable.
My one and only job was that of :
The Price Checker.
That’s right.
I am my husband’s help meet.
I would call all the large home improvement warehouses, find out their prices, and call The Lumberjack with the best deals.
One day, he asked me to order windows.
He gave me a list with all the measurements and said,
“Tell them we need the sizes as close to this as possible. If it is not exact, I want to go bigger, rather than smaller.”
So, I called Home Depot to order aforementioned windows and I repeat specifically what The Lumberjack instructed me to say.
Home Depot Man: No, no, no, Miss. You don’t want to go bigger.
Me: I don’t?
Home Depot Man: No. That’s not how people usually order windows.
Me: They don’t?
That Lumberjack. He always makes me look like an idiot.
Home Depot Man: No. You want to go smaller, rather than larger.
Me: Ok. My husband said-
Home Depot Man: No. If you go bigger, you have a whole mess with cutting into sheet rock and moving around trim . . . it is a disaster.
Me: Well, you are the expert!
I hung up the phone.
Then I began to fume.
Yes.
Fume.
For you see, dear readers, Lumberjill never wanted a stupid fixer-upper in the first place.
Lumberjill dislikes fixer-uppers.
Lumberjill likes finished houses.
But my Lumberjack, in all his handsomeness, convinced me that this fixer-upper would be the way to go. He could do it all himself, save us some money, we would flip it in about 1 year (ha! . . .one year . . . ha!ha!ha!), and we would make a profit.
So we bought the house.
Darn him.
Darn his swooning ways and his “come hither” looks.
You should be ashamed of yourself, Lumberjack, for tricking me into thinking you knew how to rebuild a house, when clearly you do not.
You.
Should.
Be.
A.
Shamed.
So, I did what any decent, caring, and loving wife would do.
I called him immediately to inform him of his wrongs.
LJ (short for Lumberjack -keep up, people!): What’s up?
Me: Just called Home Depot.
LJ: Did you order the windows?
Me: Yes. And I found out you don’t know what you are talking about.
LJ: What are you talking about?
Me: Home Depot Man. He told me you were wrong about the windows.
LJ: Huh?
Me: This is ridiculous. We bought this house. It is completely gutted. And you don’t know what you are talking about.
LJ: Huh?
Me: Home Depot Man told me that you don’t want to go bigger. You want to go smaller. And he said that is the way everyone does it.
LJ: Why did he say that?
Me: Because he said that if you go bigger, you have to cut into the sheet rock and it is a lot more work!
LJ: TAYLOR. WE DON’T HAVE SHEET ROCK.
Me: Oh! Well, what is sheet rock?
Darn it.
So then I had to immediately switch out of my nagging-know-it-all-very-cranky-and-hugely-pregnant mood and dive immediately into the character of loving-supportive-sweet-respectful-yet-still-hugely-pregnant wife.
My recovery time was amazing.
Attention Wifely Readers: I highly recommend you refrain from ever diving into the nagging-know-it-all-cranky wife mood.
It never works out well.
Go ahead and be hugely pregnant, though.
You are going to have to push a baby out your bum in the forseeable future.
So, eat.
What else is there for you?
But nagging-no.
So, I became nice again, complimented him on his muscles, big truck, and extensive collection of power tools.
And made him his favorite Rice Krispies Treats.
Awhile back, I informed you all that, if you were lucky, I would someday share my delicious Rice Krispies Treats recipe with you.
Guess what.
Today is that day.
Now, stop laughing. I am fully aware that the Rice Krispies Treats recipe can be found on every single Rice Krispies box known to man.
But I add things.
I add two things, baby.
Ok.
So, in a large pot, you melt the 3 tablespoons of butter or margarine.
Then you add a couple of spoonfuls of peanut butter.
Peanut butter! Yes! That is one of the secret ingredients!
But, wait!
There’s more!
Prepared to be wowed with one more secret ingredient at the end of this delightful recipe.
So, you melt the butter and the peanut butter along with the 40-ish marshmallows.
Remove from heat!
Add 6 cups of Rice Krispies.
Stir until well-coated.
Are you ready for secret ingredient #2?
Prepare to be wowed.
Add 1-2 cups of chocolate chips, or however much you fancy.
Spread in a greased pan, let it cool for a bit, then serve to your husband who is wondering why on earth God blessed him with such a nagging-know-it-all-very-cranky-and-hugely-pregnant wife.
And hope that he forgets all of your foolishness once the delicious treats are in his belly.
Happy Thursday!
PS-Happy Birthday to my Auntie Datenutloaf!
yum! i want to eat those now!! love the story – cracks me up =)
Oh doncha hate it when that happens!! Just when you think you have an excuse to nag – they straighten you out and you realize they actually do know what they are doing!! I do it all the time…I just don’t make rice krispy treats for the hubby…They do sound great so I may attempt making them some day! Have a Great Day!!
Oh, my goodness. Over here from Redeemed Diva, and I loved this! See, I would be the one rehabbing the house, my husband hates stuff like that. He won’t admit it, because that wouldn’t be manly, but he really does. Someday I shall be able to afford a handyman to come over and install dishwashers properly, and fix kitchen drawers. Until then I have to do it myself, or put up with it being done incorrectly (not that he does it incorrectly, he’s perfection, that husband of mine!!) I make my rice crispies exactly the same way. Except for I should say I’ve only ever made them once because they are hard to stir. But, that is how I made them that one time. 🙂
I know whereof you speak. Every time I head to the local hardware store on an errand for my hubby, the guys stand there grinning, just waiting for me to make a fool of myself again!
so I have to know: Did you call back and reorder the windows larger per LJ or did you get the smaller ones?
I don’t remember! I think LJ took care of it all. I may have been fired. 🙂
Well, did you reorder windows or just stick with the smaller ones? Inquiring minds want to know! I was stressing out while reading your story and wondering if you were able to call Home Depot back and change your order…wow, I guess I really get immersed in your stories!
Your version of Rice Krispie treats sound delish!
Love, love, love the Home Depot phone call story. I’m with you, skip the nagging and just be the lovely, complimentary wife. If only I took my own advice. I don’t bounce back from nagging quickly and it will be the death of me. I’m almost always wrong, but I’ll never admit it!
I, too, have been wondering if you called Home Depot back and changed your order for the windows. Thanks for the recipe. The hubby will really like this!
They were definitely ordered the right way in the end. I think I was fired!
Ohhh I’ve got the stuff to make those right now! Whoooooohooo – dessert tonight! ROFL
As for the windows, we went through that in our remodel, only it was doors. For some reason the house was built with 32 inch doors instead of the standard 36 inch. We bought 36 in doors thinking we could just replace the originals… NOT – what a mess that turned out to be, because we did have sheetrock!
So funny how all us woman are so so much alike in some way or another. Yep, the nagging know it all wife thing. I do it to. Sure enough I usually am not right in the end eaither. I guess that is why we do it, just trying to be right sometime 🙂
Is your new house all ready to move in, or will you be fixing this one too?
Hilarious! Maybe you weren’t fired. Maybe you graciously turned in your two weeks notice, resigning with dignity.
That’s what I’m going with!
Dude! Why have I never thought of adding PB to my RKT?!?! Pure genius!!!!!
Have you ever made them with Golden Grahams? (Technically, they wouldn’t be RKT then, but who cares?) Those are awesome! Like eating a gooey S’more! 🙂
PB & Chocolate chips are the secret ingredient in just about every cookie/cake recipe I’ve spiced up – perfect every time!
um yeah…windows sent me into premature labor with twins…but that is toooo long of a story. I definitely don’t suggest anyone order/install windows while preggo.
oh. my. Peanutbutter in the rice krispie treats sounds divine! Yay for house remodeling adventures!
We’re not friends anymore.
Your face wasn’t fat enough in your pregnant picture.
http://thelumberjackswife.wordpress.com/2010/01/20/oh-pardon-me/
Click on it.
It will make you feel better.
I agree! I told her I remembered seeing her at church while she was pregnant with Little Dude (at the same time I was pregnant with my #4) and that I thought to myself what a cute pregnant person she was. And she denies it! But where are the chubby cheeks to prove me wrong?
Okay, my comment was supposed to be in reply to Erin’s, but I must have been typing at the same time as you.
Those pictures do not change my mind. Huge belly? Yes. But still the same cute face that doesn’t look like it’s attached to a pregnant body.
Those rice Krispies sound delish!
I think you looked pretty good in the pregnant picture too – you should be proud! 🙂
You know, I shall try the new and improved RK treats. I think they are gross, therefore I make them for my husband,who loves them, once every 4 years or so. But with PB and CC I might venture to like them…..hmmm….you are very wise, O great one……
i love your randomness! you start with pricecheck and surprise the whole world with rkt recipe! awesome!
Love that bit about the baby out the bum. Only you can get away with that, girl!
I loathe, despise, hate and abhor doing boy errands. It is like a game of telephone gone beserk in Testosterone Land. Trying to take the information from male #1, hubby, and give to male #2, and make #1 happy with the adivce of #2, is a no-win situation. I feel your flashback pain!
What do you mean nag? I consider it to be helpful coaching…Nagging is such a, well, HARSH word.
If you are hugely pregnant, it’s not nagging. At least not so anyone would tell you so to their face. Because then you would simultaneously burst into tears and claw their face off.
Or maybe that was just me.
I’ve had to do the same sort of price checking thing! And I’ve run into the same problem of not understanding what either person was talking about. So then I whine to my husband that I don’t understand the HD (Home Depot! Keep up, people!) {Name that blog} guy and that hubby really ought to talk to him face to face instead of using a middle man. Er, person. The rice krispies treats probably would have helped my cause.
Those sound sooo yummy! I am gonna try that!
I think the Home Depot guy threw you under the bus. He should know that when a wife calls/comes in with a request clearly given by the husband it should just be done. That way if/when it is wrong it is def the husband’s doing. Not yours.
I should be a HD trainer lady. hee hee.
If it makes you feel any better, I have to do this for my husband too. Very early in our marriage I was supposed to call the lumberyard and order sheet rock. He told me the exact amount of 4′ x 8′ he needed. Simple enough right… not so much. The “helpful” guy at the lumberyard told me there was a special on 4′ x 12′ sheetrock… it would be much cheaper. He did the math a figured out how much we would need and I placed the order for delivery later that day… I knew he’d be so proud I’d saved us so much money…. He wasn’t proud… He was speechless when he saw it in the garage when he got home. He was doing this project by himself… It turns out it is pretty close to humanly impossible to carry a sheet of 4′ x 12′ sheetrock alone. He had to cut it… a lot… which means a lot of extra seams to tape and mud… did I say a lot… it turns out the mudding and sanding seams is the biggest job in sheetrock… who knew… I do now… my “savings” caused him A LOT of grief… Nearly 20 years later he still orders ALL of his own building supplies… LOL
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Oh My Goodness…. If I could tell you how many times I’ve had to do that “presto chango – you’re totally wrong and I’m right – you’re totally right and I’m a moron” thing… Totally humiliating, isn’t it?!
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