We are dirty.
We are smelly.
We have 18 loads of laundry.
And here is a recap of our camping extravaganza.
***
Friday Night
We arrived Friday night in the late evening. I got to work on dinner and The Lumberjack got right to work on the fire.
“I . . . have made fire!”
(Name that movie)
Lest you become overly impressed with my Lumberjack, I must inform you that he is a cheater who uses gasoline.
Then LJ and his charming brother, Jason, got right to work on splitting an entire cord of wood for our weekend.
Jason was not himself this weekend.
He was sad.
And forlorn.
More on that later.
First, we must introduce Alex to the scene.
Alex is another brother of the Lumberjack.
Brothers!
Everywhere!
I am bombarded by Lumberjackish brothers!
Alex feels almost as passionately about wood cutting as The Lumberjack does.
Almost.
Apparently, as I was informed by his fellow “tree-fellin'” buddies, my Lumberjack has been quoted saying,
“See this wood here, boys? This is the kind of wood you can only dream about.”
Who is this man that I married?
After the fires were burning, The Lumberjack forced everyone to help set up the parachute.
Since I never know what “the plan” is, I pretended to be too busy with dinner and diapers to help and stayed in the camp trailer.
You may ask,
“Taylor. What is the purpose of the aforementioned parachute?”
Well, dear readers, it serves two purposes.
1) To make The Lumberjack feel uber manly.
2) To keep us all safe and warm from the rain.
And trust me.
When rain comes, we greatly appreciate The Lumberjack.
Holla, Lumberjack.
Holla.
Saturday morning
You see, dear readers, most of our families heat with wood, so during the camping trips, the manly men go and get a few loads for all the homesteads.
So, early Saturday morn, the manly men arose to go and cut wood.
Except Jason.
Remember Jason?
Jason was feeling exceptionally blue at this point in the morning.
You see, dear readers, Jason has a lady friend named Amy.
Everyone please shout, “Hi, Amy!” at your computer-ish devices.
*Thank you*
Amy lives far, far away.
Too far for his lonely heart.
And our camping location did not have cell service. So Jason did not hear the voice of his sweet-honey Amy for many moons.
Or, more accurately, many hours.
It was tragic.
Poor Jason was not himself. I told him I wanted the old Jason back. You know, Jason . . . Jason, my buddy . . . my pal . . . my top-notch-super-cool-fellow-hater-of-huckleberry-picking-and-chainsaws-brother-in-law.
He looked at me like I was crazy.
Apparently our relationship is one-sided.
I thought we were tight, Jason.
I thought we were tight.
Dear Amy,
Please move from wherever-it-is-you-dwell to wherever-it-is-we-dwell so we can have our old, happy Jason back.
Yours truly,
Taylor
***
After breakfast, Alex and The Lumberjack donned these fashionable boots . . .
and declared it their mission for the day to build the largest swing known to man.
And now, dear readers, I would like to present to you:
How to Build a Swing in the Middle of Nowhere: Lumberjack Style
Step One: Strap on these bad boys:
Step Two: Discuss “the plan” with the rest of The Lumberjack community
Step Three: Shimmy up tree, using a rope, a hatchet, and ridiculously long nails.
Like so.
Step Four: Keep climbing higher and higher, while all your kinsfolk quarrel over who will take on the responsiblity of feeding your wife and four children after you fall tragically to your death.
Step Five: Climb really high until you are satisfied. Then nail up a snatch block.
Fact: Lumberjill has not one clue what a snatch block is.
Nor do I know what its purpose is.
I am just telling you what My Lumberjack did.
Over and out.
Step Six: Sorry, folks. Lumberjill got bored and went to visit Sweet Baby.
So, I am a little unawares as to what happened to produce this:
This is what I can deduce:
The Lumberjack put a snatch block on a tree.
Alert! I still do not know what a snatch block is!
Somehow they used this snatch block to create a pulley system that involved a 4 wheeler, my father-in-law, some rope, and a large log that went perpendicular to the tree that The Lumberjack previously nailed a snatch block to.
I would like to remind everyone that I don’t know what I am talking about.
Then, someone magically nailed the perpendicular tree into place.
Does that sound good?
Right-ee-o.
Hey, Lumberjack!
Look at you and your bad self!
Alright. So I have no idea how they did it, because I honestly have no clue what goes on in that brain of my husband’s.
But . . . this was the end result:
A swing!
Yay!
That was exhausting even to blog about.
Alright.
Enough of this nonsense.
This post has gone on long enough.
So, I will finish it off tomorrow.
But before I go, I shall leave you with a picture of yours truly with the dreaded camping hair:
Please.
Try to conceal your jealousy.
I will reveal to you my new secret for camping hair tomorrow.
Fare-thee-well, friends.
Fare.
Thee.
Well.
I have insomnia tonight and thus am very glad you’re up posting late (assuming is as least late-ish where you are) so you can keep me entertained.
Does Jason know that if he would just marry Amy he would not have to miss her any more?
Duh.
Also – I really hope LJ’s life insurance agent never sees this post. Sheesh.
I can’t wait to show my husband the kind of things you guys do when you go camping…he’s going to be so jealous! By the way, you have very pretty “camping hair”.
Do you think Smokey minds LJ cutting down all his trees?
My hubs would love to go camping with all the lumberjacks. And I don’t think that picture of camping hair truly shows camping hair. We need a bigger picture.
Good luck with all that laundry. I have none. Zero. That is sad in a whole ‘nother way.
Happy Monday!
And this post would explain so much why you electrician husband is called the Lumberjack because only a true Lumberjack would be able to do that! Very impressive! I’m just happy when my Dear Hubby puts up the hammock when we go camping:)
Looks like you had a great weekend. Welcome back.
Looks like a fun time. My idea of camping is at the Hampton Inn. I do enjoy a good bonfire, though.
I can almost smell the woods and fire through your post today. Thank you for that fresh breath of air!
Impressive swing, but even MORE impressive camping hair!
Lumberjill,
Thank you for always making me smile and chuckle when I read your posts (I refuse to type lol, it drives me NUTS!!!). I totally respect you for braving the camping wild with four children. I have two and have not stepped foot on a camp site since baby number one was born. I will not be showing my lumberjack (who is so not a lumberjack at all) this post in hopes that he never remembers that we used to go camping bc (before children) and think of it fondly. 🙂
by the way, that is not camping hair at all. Where are the leaves and pine needles. Mighty disappointing. 🙂
The movie is Castaway I believe of which I won’t watch again because Wilson just makes me cry!
You guys look like you have a lot of fun camping. Makes me want to try it out!
The kind of wood you dream about! Ha! I’m cracking up. That swing is pretty awesome.
camping hair??!! all i see are bangs! that is nothing to complain about! glad you made it back home safe and sound =)
How great that the whole extended family goes camping together! Looks like you had a great time. I am looking forward to lots of camping stories this summer!
YOU crack me up!!!! Soooo…. just wondering if you left the swing up and where we can visit it???????
mmmmm…’kay….. your family and my family could totally not hangout. We do not do things like this. We don’t camp. And if we did camp there would certainly not be any lumberjacking going on. Pitching a tent in the backyard is as close as any of us are going to get… and even that sounds tiring.
You guys are made of heartier stock than we are (even though I *think* we may live in a similar neck of the woods- and by woods, I mean country).
Wow, now that’s a swing!
You’re so funny!! Love this post!
You think that’s camping hair? I think not. Try to have hair that’s to short to pull back and you’ll know the true definition of camping hair.
Oh yeah. Love your blog. You crack me up.
Lumberjill,
100 points to you for going camping. My boys will have to drag me kicking and screaming and holding me Big Sexy Volumizing Dry Shampoo if they ever want me to go.
Great post! I couldn’t stop laughing at the picture where everyone was looking up at the Lumberjack and you wrote they were arguing over who would feed his wife and kids after he fell to his tragic death!
Castaway–where we are captivated by a man who doesn’t talk to anyone for the 1st 1/2 hour of the movie and then talks to a volleyball for the rest of it. (well, until Wilson is no more!) I want to go camping with your family! How fun! We fish during our camping and I have told my husband, whom I love very much, that when he says he wants to go camping, it really means he wants to go fishing and I don’t super much enjoy fishing all day long for days on end!
I thought about you on Saturday when it was snowing here.
Hope you guys were warm enough in wherever it is that you abide.
I love camping… but only when we take a RV. I’m a fan of showering. 🙂
Marla @ http://www.asthefarmturns.wordpress.com
Aw poor Jason, lol. And wow! that swing looks like so much fun, I bet the kids had a blast! Can I borrow some lumberjacks next time I go camping!? 🙂
18 loads of laundry is a good sign.
At least you know people changing out of their dirty clothes
A friend of mine once told me how she worked as a counselor at a sleep away camp. After two weeks of not doing laundry, they were told to collect their campers “smellies.” To her horror, one camper had only three items to contribute….
Holy Shnikeys! I can’t believe that swing!
I <3 Tom Hanks – Don't you?
Hot hair-do :)! Toodles, The lady
Lumberjill … you’re such a trooper! I actually have more than 18 loads of laundry right now and I was home last weekend :/ We are, however, going camping later this summer with our four kiddos too 🙂 I agree with everyone else … the hair is fine. Did I see on facebook that you were/are having some blogging get-together? And what in the world is a plank-jack???
So I’m reading about your camping trip and I’m into it. I am an out-doorsy type of person. I have climbed mountains on three continents – I consider myself a good camper. When I get to the part about the swing I picture a big rope with a knot in it. Perhaps a big rope with a tire tied to it – you know – if you’re fancy folk. I did not see the extent of the lumberjack’s swing coming. Just goes to show – having a camping mentality does NOT ensure one has a lumberjack mentality.
DUDE!
COOL SWING.
Jealous….
The end.
I am at a loss as to why there is a question as to who would feed my daughter and my grandchildren.
So…I was with the afore mentioned sweet Amy this weekend. I thought I would tell you that your blog caused one of my greatest “freak out” moments after I randomly started reading your blog during the wee hours of my night shift. I had been reading it for several months when I stumbled upon Amy’s picture……who I had literally just met the day before and heard about “some guy” she met while Nikki and I were in Africa. “Some guy” turned out to be your bro-in-law. It was one of the weirdest, “2 worlds crashing together” moments of my life. Random!!! And small world! Anyway, love the blog! 🙂
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