Imagine that.
This is the third post during my blogging “career” in which I have declared that I am starting a diet.
Perhaps this means I have trouble committing?
It’s certainly something to consider.
To catch up:
Because I Started a Diet . . . the sequel
Folks.
Herein lies the problem: I don’t really want to change my ways.
And I really, really, really like to eat these:
and also this:
this:
don’t forget this:
this:
and, lastly but not leastly, this:
*sigh*
Such a glorious world full of food that is needing to be consumed.
But, alas.
I weigh no less than I did when I first stated I was on a diet.
And my body is not one bit fitter.
Also, it has been brought to my attention that my cholesterol is high.
So, therefore, from heretohenceforth, I must declare that I am on a diet.
Again.
For reals.
Because I have a dream.
I have a dream that one day, I shall not be ashamed to wear swimsuit.
Not a bikini, of course!
Heavens, no!
But a skirted, full-coverage, tankini.
Yes.
And if they come out with a capri-length tankini, I am so there!
I have a dream that one day, I shall wear a flowy, peasant top and not have innocent bystanders inquire of me if I am expecting my 5th child.
I have a dream that one day, I shall love to exercise.
Ha!
That last one was a joke.
Who really likes to exercise?
I suppose people who look good in swimsuits and don’t get questions as to the current-status-of-their-fertility-while- wearing-flowing-peasant-tops do.
Nevertheless!
Exercise is the devil.
So, some of you expressed interest in joining me on my new mission.
So get ready.
Figure out your goals. You dreams. Your aspirations.
Get a post ready or a comment formulated in your head.
We start Tuesday.
PS- Guess what is currently in my oven?
Chocolate chip cookies.
(not a baby)
But, I promise, they are for our camping trip and I shall only eat seven one.
***
Yes! We are going camping!
Again!
Oh.
Be.
Still.
My.
Heart.
Does anyone ever get to go to the mall on weekends?
Say hello for me.
Before I head off into the vast wilderness, with my shower and generator of course, I must welcome Gladys back to the blog.
Gladys is looking quite fetching today, is she not?
This week’s COW (comment of the week) has to go to Jill.
Jill has now given me the best *unsolicited* homeschool advice to date.
(I am just using the latter half of her comment for today’s purposes)
Secondly, grow your hair out very long, almost to your waist. Wear only homemade clothes. Wear striped knee socks with most outfits and declare your style to be eclectic. (I’m a homeschool mom, so I’m allowed to make fun of them, aren’t I?) : )
Third, since you’re homeschooling, every trip out of Ruralville is a field trip. Count it. If you go to the store, have one of the kids count the number of people in line before you. You’ve just had math class. If you go to the lake, you’ve had physical education. I’m pretty sure that every time you say “Holla!” you’ve had Spanish class. See? It’s not as difficult as you think. : )
Classy, Jill.
Classy.
I would like to take this moment to remind everyone that no, I am not saying “Hola!,” the Spanish word for hello.
I am saying “Holla!,”a super-fun-friendly-joyous way to greet someone.
Focus, people!
Happy Weekend!
I have to agree with you – that was a pretty funny COW! And I am in the same boat with diet… no progress.. I hold you partially responsible with the whole “Bundt – O – Sin” revelation..
Have fun camping.. hope the one chocolate cookie you are eating has a circumference of 5 inches..
Oh, you’re just too funny. I so enjoy reading your blog 🙂
Well said, Jill, well said.
Although I feel I must point out that we only adopt this “eclectic” fashion sense because we no longer have time to do our hair or worry about looking cute. And because we just spent our entire clothing budget on that really *fun* Latin program…
Welcome to the world of homeschooling, Taylor. 🙂
Can I shout a resounding “AMEN SISTER!” ?
Good luck on your diet… I really need one… much, much worse then you do, but since I am now taking care of my elderly and/or disabled parents full time and am by nature a “comfort eater”… Alas I will not be joining you… I need the Big Mac far worse then a smaller butt… priorities…
I loved Jill’s advice… as a veteran homeschooler my advice is if you want to seem like a successful homeschooler, make sure your kiddo’s pants are just a little too short (you know what I mean)… They may have a hared time making friends at the playground, but other homeschooling moms will start to seek your advice… If you were to breakdown and do the dreaded socks with sandals you’d be put on a pedestal… lol… Alas, I didn’t do these things and the Girlies seem a little too normal… so of course my homeschooling practices were suspect… Go figure…
Enjoy your camping trip!
exercise is the devil.
I need to lose 15 pounds. I need someone to invent capri length tankinis.
I need motivation though. I’ve come to accept my flab. I also accept chocolate and dorrito chips.
Tuesday huh? Maybe I’ll again for the one millionth time proclaim myself as “eating yeast-free…again…”
I decline your kind offer to join you on your diet.
But.
I bought some ice cream at the grocery store today.
And I can think of you while I eat it.
If you want.
MORE unsolicited homeschool advice (I can’t stand down for the life of me):
When people ask why your kids are not in “school” when you are on one of the “field trips” Lani mentioned, simply tell them that your husband has hired a fully trained private tutor to secure their education. Today is her day off. You don’t have to tell them that the private tutor is you. HA!! They’ll think you are all that, rich, and that your kids are smart to boot.
I can’t take credit for that idea. My hubby got tired of people looking at him funny when he told them we homeschool. He just tells him that he hired a certified teacher to be their private tutor. I have yet to get that paycheck though…just sayin’!
I started a diet Tuesday
it lasted until late Tuesday afternoon
FAIL.
So Monday I start again :'(
not tonight because I am having wine and dessert with a friend
not tomorrow because it’s just foolish to start on the weekend
Oh, and not Sunday because I want Sunday Dinner
So Monday it is.
BLECH!
You can do it! But I must ask, why Tuesday? What happened to the good o’ “I’ll start my diet on Monday” thing? Maybe that is why it never works out well so maybe Tuesday will be better. I sure hope so!
Enjoy your cookies (all seven of them) this weekend. While you are eating those I will be enjoying myself at a chocolate party (yes a chocolate party… it’s like pampered chef but only with chocolate!)
Hey from the “other” Kendra…aka The Queen of Brussels Sprouts 😉
Hey Taylor!
I have to disagree about the Big Macs. I would have to be starving for a full week to eat one.
But the capri length tankini would be right up my alley.
Also, I have been trying to lose a few ponds for a few weeks, going to the gym or bike riding 5-6 days a week. I just weighed myself at the gym. Guess what? I have gained weight!!! AUGGGHHH!!!!!
My sister and I have also been working out the past few weeks. Have I lost weight!??!?!? Nooooooo….
Honestly?!?!!!?? I think I’m going to give up on stupid exercising!
I saw the big mac and just had to laugh. And laugh, and laugh. And then I had to smile, and giggle, and laugh. 🙂
Sometimes, when I make cookies, I just finally decide to eat them all and get them out of the way….
Chocolate Raspberry Coffee Mate? Oh, be still my heart!
OhMyWord
LAUGHOUTLOUD at (not a baby)
You are hilarious!!!
Blessings!
Amanda
Excersize truly is the devil. I hate it. 🙁 I wish I loved it. I never understand the people who say they love to run. Seriously? Is someone chasing you?! Also, to truly be a homeschooling mother you must also wear a denim jumper, and milk goats.
Maybe we have reached a point in our lives where we no longer say we are on a diet but we are having a life style change:) I really don’t know why I am exactly the same weight that I was 6 months ago when I declared my diet…… Oh, well Tuesday it is:)
You could always forget the diet and get this swimsuit:
http://www.muslim-swimwear.com/cat/index.cgi/shopfront/view_product_details?category_id=7503;product_id=302376
This is so exciting because I too have choc-chip cookies in the oven NOW and I too am almost but not quite doing anything like dieting! I’m for Tuesday – count me in:-) Hope you have fun this weekend. I was cured of the need to go camping by my childhood experiences of such……
I recently tried to buy a fancy dress online for a wedding in a few weeks. I looked at the measurement chart on the website. Here’s how it worked out. Bust: Size 4. Hips: Size 6. Waist: Size 12. So I ordered a size 8 hoping it would be a good compromise. I’m not even going to tell you how bad it looked.
So, yeah. I would love to join you with the diet on Tuesday.
Jessy, the swimwear link is priceless!
Well color me embarrassed! Here I am awarded the *COW* and I’m not around to receive it! I’ve been off the blogosphere all week (read why during next week’s posts) and I’ve got all these visitors with nothing new to say to them.
BTW, I am a little put out that I received a *COW* award in the same post that you talk about diets.
Not that I’m taking it personally.
Tuesday it is…I say that right after I finished off the carton of rocky road ice cream and feel incredibly self-indulged.
Don’t forget to let me know how you are doing! (on your “diet”) And when you make a few bad choices (because you will!) (not because I expect YOU to fail! No way! Please don’t take offense to that. That’s NOT what I meant. no! No! NO!) (I meant that I will fail. So really I’m talking about myself here. It’s NOT about you! It’s about me!), don’t let it get you down. Just make your next choice a good one. You can DO it! (and you are NOT fluffy!)
I left you a little something on my blog…
http://highmaintenanceaspirations.blogspot.com/2010/07/no-really-you-shouldnt-have.html
“Exercise is the devil.” Agreed!
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I’m starting mine and letting everyone on my blog know it’s YOUR fault:)