Today is my husband’s 30th birthday.
Let us all pause to bemoan the reality that he is, in fact, stinkin’ old now.
Today he is working. Of course. But yesterday, we got in a little family time at the beach.
Does he not look like a man who needs more children?
Handsome Dude is getting to be quite the little swimmer.
Quite.
Little Dude has no fear of the water. He just walks and walks and walks . . . till his head is covered and he can breathe no more. The Lumberjack had to go on a rescue mission.
So mommy coerced him into playing with his sand toys.
For, at the very least, I find it my duty to keep my children alive.
LD (short for Little Dude . . .keep up, people!): Mama! Bird!
Me: Where?
LD: Bird, mama!
Me: Where?
LD: Sky! See?
Me: No . . . where?
Fact: I enjoy exasperating my children.
LD: SKY!
LD: What in the heck is wrong with you, Mother! The bird is right there! Can’t you see it?! In fact, there are about 20 birds, also called seagulls, who are flying high in the sky right now. And, mother, if you would just focus and stop clicking that stupid machine, you would see them!!
Me: Ok, baby. I’m sorry, baby.
LD: Sheesh. That woman is impossible.
Back to Handsome Dude.
I suspect, dear readers, that Handsome Dude is flirting with me.
100 (meaningless) points to anyone who can tell me where Handsome Dude’s glasses are.
Me: David. We should make huckleberry milkshakes for dinner tonight.
Interruption: Let us pretend that I am not on a diet and that I did not suggest that delicious frozen treat for dinner. Thank you.
LJ (short for Lumberjack and also an alias for David . . . keep up, people!): Sounds good. But we are giving the kids rocky road ice cream or something.
Me: Why? It would just be easier to make huckleberry milkshakes for everyone.
LJ: Dude! I am not wasting huckleberries on the kids!
Me: Are you serious?
LJ: Yes. They can’t have them.
People. I told you he was intense with the berries.
We did not see the girls all evening.
Turns out they are fish.
Who knew?!
And now, dear readers,
Ten Things You Might Not Know About My Husband:
1) He detests sand in his truck. Sure, it is cool if there are pop cans, candy wrappers, elk calls, maps, tie-downs, hand-warmers, and chainsaw-ear-plugs littered about his truck. But he draws the line at sand.
2) He must eat his cereal in a certain routine. Or else the universe will collapse. Cereal in bowl. Shape it. Pour milk. Sprinkle Sugar. If the sugar goes on before the milk, the cereal is deemed unfit for human consumption.
3) When he gets really excited, he sings in a super loud falsetto voice. This usually only occurs whilst camping, rock sliding, hiking, and berry picking.
4) He has been coveting bulldozers.
5) He wants a horse, but he is playing it off like it’s the kids who want a horse.
6) He has a ginormous wallet that sticks out his back pocket with a fancy western-like medallion on it. And, upon several occasions, people stop him and tell him that his wallet is falling out of his pocket. And he has to tell him that, no, it is completely in his pocket. It is just disturbingly large.
7) He once recorded a 12 hour live cattle auction on our DVR. This was almost the end of our marriage, because, dear readers, I cannot wrap my brain around what on earth would possess someone to even consider watching a live cattle auction.
8) He really likes his Eastman’s Hunting magazine. So much so, that I must call and/or text him immediately when it arrives in our mailbox so he might anticipate it all the way home.
9) The best thing I could ever do for him is buy him a new toothbrush.
New toothbrushes have stood the test of time and never lost their excitement or pizazz in our 10 year matrimonial agreement.
10) He is a good dad and husband and we love him very much.
Happy Monday!
Happy Birthday Lumberjack! 🙂
Glad to see that Handsome Dude’s hair has grown back full force:) and happy birthday to the MR. – and my husband is waaaaaay older- he is 35 going on 36, crazy old!
Hey now…thirty isn’t OLD!!! He’s a baby.
You know this time next year we’re going to be reading about rounding up your horses to go milk your cows. Or butcher them because I seem to recall a freezer full of beef so those probably aren’t dairy cows he’s eyeing at the auction.
Happy Birthday to the LJ…he is young. Very very young.
Happy Birthday LJ! We share the same birthday…….only I wish I was just turning 30. I am 30 plus. That means if you are stinking old that makes me really stinking old. So glad that LJ was there to save HD. Hopefully he will learn to swim like his sisters soon.
I have a horse and thus feel very qualified to tell you:
DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GIVE IN AND GET A HORSE.
Seriously, if LJ needs a list why, I’ll send you one but just . . . don’t.
Hope your LJ has a great day. You had some pretty darn cute photos again. You better quit that or I will start to think you have figured out how to work that camera of yours ;)~
We had cattle & horses & cattle are easy peesy. Horse are tons of work and suck your money away. Get some chicken’s you bake alot you really could use the eggs.
Happy Birthday, Lumberjack! It sure is a good thing that you were able to snag such a young, beautiful, domestic goddess as a wife!
I mean, who else could raise such well-behaved children who always have their glasses?
My husband too has a wallet that is way too big and sticks out of the top of his back pocket. I do not know how many times we have been stopped and people tell him that his wallet is about to fall out. We usually just look at them and keep on walking!
And fyi…my husband used to take me on dates to cattle auctions when we were in high school. One time he even got special permission to take me in the back and let me see where they hold the cattle before and after they come out front to be bid on. He was so super excited about it. In his little world it just didn’t get much better than that…
Happy Birthday Lumberjack!
Pictures and dialog with LD is one of my fav’s to date of yours.. and I sincerely believe he was thinking exactly what you wrote..
Also – after 35 some hot, humid, bear ridden hours to gather 3/4 cups of huckleberries, I am afraid I would also refuse to share them with the children.
And lastly – if you get horses and cows, I will forever call you the Lumberjacks Pioneer Woman Wife – that is all…
Happy Birthday to my honey’s younger twin.
Let LJ know that my honey is the service manager for 5 local Bobcat dealers and I can’t remember the last time we used an actual shovel for anything!
(Ok, that was just mean, that would be tempting him to covet my honey’s free access to large, dirt moving equipment. BUT, you can rest easy in the knowledge that your backyard has not been torn up with dirt being moved from one side to the other for 7 of the 10 years we have lived in this house.
That story about the recording of the live cattle auction about killed me.
Because, really what you had was a RECORDING of a live cattle auction.
Which is just…weird.
Happy Birthday LJ!
You will NOT want to take care of a horse. I have a horse. He’s beautiful. He lives with my mother, my mother feeds him, cleans his feet, washes him, pays his vet bills, his shoe bills, walks him, rides him, washes him, and sometimes, once every four years, I ride him.
I’m so glad he was a free horse. I’m so glad I don’t live with him.
Never, ever get a horse. You have small children!! For the love of pete!
Also, Happy Birthday LJ. You’re crazy.
If my husband recorded a 12 hour anything on the DVR, there would be words. It would probably conflict with something important I wanted to watch, like top chef. Words. yes.
Happy birthday old man.
I want a horse. I told my husband that the kids want one too. Smart move!
Happy birthday to LJ (See I can keep up with all the nicknames!)
I don’t know where HD’s glasses are…. so no points for me… hopefully not at the bottom of that lake…
The girl’s look more like mermaids than fish to me!
Oh and congratulations on the fancy schmancy new domain name 😀
Glasses? Bottom of lake. LJ? Holla, Happy Birthday you supremely lucky man. Girls? Have you grown webbed feet yet? Horse? Are you mental? Do you know how much they eat? If you don’t like paying hospital bills, perhaps you would prefer ginormous vet bills instead! Man Alive.
Happy birthday Lumberjack! I’ve got a horse I’ll give you!! 😉
I can totally relate to the huckleberry piggy statement–there were things I would not share with my children when they were little because they did not appreciate it! And I wanted it all! Happy Birthday to the Lumberjack and hope you have many more years with your beautiful wife!
Oh man, this post was Hilarious (sang falsetto)! So funny! My dad totally had that same wallet. You two are so cute about the whole magazine and toothbrush thing. That’s real life baby – gotta enjoy the small stuff.
And glasses? are these the same glasses that I prayed about? stinker. You poor thing to have to keep track of them darn things inadditionto everything else you have to keep track of… hmmm… wonder if we have glasses in our future ::sigh:: We’ll see.
Haven’t stopped by in a while, so I had to get my LJill fix. Hope all is well for ya!
Hugs, The Lady of the House
Happy Birthday to your Lumberjack. Since he is stinkin’ old then I am really stinkin’ old…thank you very much…lol…sounds and looks like you had a wonderful day playing in the water!
Hey…is that a ginormously huge wallet in your hubby’s pocket or is he just happy to see me? Sorry. Crude and rude. Couldn’t resist it. I guess I’m just smarting over the “30 is old” comment. 🙂
Happy Birthday LJ!
Mindy
http://www.thesuburbanlife.com
Happy Birthday Lumberjack!
Happy Belated Birthday Lumber Jack 🙂 !!!
May your children smother you everyday in kisses.
May your your young gorgeous wife always make you huckleberry shakes (hidden from the children of course).
& May your chainsaw never accumulate rust.
PS: We will keep the sand in our trucks so you don’t have to worry.
Yikes! If 30 is stinkin’ old then I’d better live up this last 1/2 a year till I get there!
you are such a great wife to text him about his mag!
Guess what? LJ has the same birthday as me! But it’s been eons since I’ve seen 30. Sounds pretty good to me! Tell him “Happy Bday” from another Aug. 16 baby 🙂
Happy birthday, Lumberjack! You are not old because I’m older than you, and I’m not old. I train my kids to say that I’m about six years younger than I actually am. It makes me feel better. If my husband recorded anything, I would yell at the kids because I know my husband doesn’t know how to work any of the electronic gadgets in our entertainment center. I don’t know either, but that’s not the point. Seriously. Look on line and find some place that will ship you huckleberries. I cannot believe they would be so incredibly tasty over other berries that you would spend that many hours hunting for them. After the first five cows in the auction, I would think, “if you’ve seen one cow, you’ve seen them all.” Then I would record over the rest of the auction with something useful–like–okay, I can’t think of anything worth watching for 12 hours. But surely there’s something better than the cow auction.
Ummm…I’m a new fan, I came over from As the Farm turns…and this post was great, funny and I’d like to wish the Lumberjack a very Happy Birthday Year!
i’m actually an old fan…got lost there for a minute!
Happy belated, Lumberjack. My husband has been looking at bulldozers too. Scary thought. But at least he is trying to sell his well drill. I’ll be glad of that.
I’ll join the “no horses” crowd. Kids and horses can equal trouble in a flash.
I’ve been absent from the blogosphere due to technical difficulties (only about one day, but it smarts). I would hate to miss wishing LJ a happy b-day. I’ll be following suit this Friday, also turning 30.
Who wouldn’t want a horse? (Ok, my DH; but as I know, he is one in a million). Anyway, hope it was a good one. And for those who are in there 40’s, 3o is nothing:)