Things I Will Never Understand.

1.  How do phones work?

2.  How to make a decent gravy.

3.  Why I named this blog, “The Lumberjack’s Wife.”

4.  How it can be so hard to lose a dog.


 

5.  How to answer all the questions the kids ask about losing Mabel.

6.  Seriously.  How do phones work?  How is it possible to speak into a little contraption thingie and a person miles upon miles away can you hear your perfectly from their own contraption?

7.  Why, pray tell, are tummy tucks not given freely to women post-child-bearing?

8.  When will Handsome Dude learn to aim?

9.  How come my Magic Eraser has removed every blunder from my budding artists, except the new pen ink on my peach walls?

10.  Not that my kids would ever write on the walls.

11.  Why are my walls peach?  All of them?

12.  Really.

All of them are peach.

Quandaries, all of them.

***

How was that post?  Cheerful?

*sigh*

“E” for Effort, right?

Baby steps to happy posts.  Baby steps.

***
Fat Tuesday?

I think I need to cease and desist Fat Tuesday. 

Why, you ask?

Well:

A)  I am terrible at it.

B)  I completely forgot to post last Tuesday.

C)  I am not a weight loss inspiration, seeing as how all I do is lose and gain the same 3-5 pounds over and over and over and over again.

D)  Sometimes, a gal who lives in the middle of nowhere and homeschools a few hooligans, and has 18 loads of laundry to do needs to beg her husband to bring home pizza and make a pan of brownies.

E)  See “D” for the reason why I am terrible at Fat Tuesday.

***

I was thinking of doing a “Questions and Answers” post soon.

So, if you have a question for me, leave one in the comments section post haste!

Happy Monday!

 

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42 Responses to Things I Will Never Understand.

  1. Marla says:

    Taylor, I wrote a post that way much like this one last night. Weird right?

    I truly am so sorry about Mabel. I understand how the loss of a pet can be totally heartbreaking, especially when she was a member of your family for so long.

    And I had Colby bring me home hot wings from Pizza Hut last night. It’s okay.

    Marla @ http://www.asthefarmturns.wordpress.com

  2. thinking about you…praying for you….nuff said!! {{{hugs}}}

  3. Brandi Dilley says:

    I love you Taylor 🙂

  4. datenutloaf says:

    Your blogs make us feel normal when we have the same feelings. So even when they are not always happy they are real and your ‘people’ empathize. If it’s any comfort, until you are able to repaint your peach walls, the peach will warm the place when it’s wintertime dreary, white and gray. It takes me about 8-10 years to get over loss of a pet. You summed it up by saying “It’s just hard”. Mabel was a great, gently loyal dog.

  5. Amanda says:

    So sorry about your puppy. That is the WORST feeling! Wish I could do more for you all.

    I dont get how phones work either. Or that we can see the moon that is a bazillion miles away but cant see 1 mile away. (i know there is curvature of the earth and stuff but seriously! Its weird how you can see the moon. Ok. Maybe its not.)

    Lets see…. what curriculum are you using for homeschooling? I was thinking of doing a combination of $1 store finds and abeca. 🙂

    What are you doing for your next birthday? If you had to choose between spaghetti and lasagna for life which would you choose?

    Blessings-
    Amanda

  6. I know what you mean, concerning pets. They become like furry children. I took my husband 8 years to say he may have, possibly, on a good day, been ready for a new dog. So we got Tanzy 4 years ago and she is a delight to us. And it makes me cry to think she will not be with us in 10 years.*sigh* You’re right, it’s just hard.

  7. Melissa says:

    thinking of you today!!

  8. MindyLou says:

    E for effort?? That should be an S for splendid!! You did a great baby step! As for a question… Would you rather….lose 15 pounds forever and never gain it back but could never wear makeup anywhere again, OR..would you rather…gain 15 pounds but have the most lovely peaches and cream skin ever? Weird, right?? I know, but I’m just coming up with some mind-boggling questions. 😉

  9. Matt Rakes says:

    1 & 6 re:phones=
    “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” Arthur C. Clarke. So, I’m going with magic…they work by hocus-pocus.

    8. Based on my experiences with my 11 year old son…the correct answer is at least 12 (though, I’m pretty sure that won’t be it either).

    9. Magic Eraser-the answer is once again, “Magic” (it’s even in the name)…apparently the pen is just slightly more powerful magic.

    Sorry about the dog…that’s never fun. Hang in there!
    Thus, my final answer to number 5 is “honestly”. Can’t think of any better way to help your kids than doing what you did here and being honest that it’s hard.

  10. Heather says:

    So sorry Taylor about Mable. It’s not easy to lose a member of the family. We love our pets just as much as we love a human friend. You and your family are in my thoughts.

    My question is: Knowing what you know now, do you regret moving out to Ruralville? If you could do it over would you choose a place closer to town? The reason I ask is because my husband would love to move us out of town too and I don’t know how I feel about that. I think I’d miss not being 5 minutes from Target, or the grocery store, or civilization!

    Happy Monday to you too!

  11. Dawn says:

    #9–the magic eraser magically knows you are not thrilled with the peach-dom of your house and is insisting you paint!

    And I am a great proponent of food = comfort, weight be darned!

  12. Joyce says:

    Sometimes life is not a bed of roses… I could cry just thinking about losing my dog. I think we tell ourselves we shouldn’t be so upset, that they’re just a pet, but they are so much more. We talk to them and they add something to a home that is missing when they’re gone. And you feel that for a long while. We went one year without a dog. As much as I wasn’t ready for the whole puppy thing I felt like the house just wasn’t the same without one.

    Perhaps you need to invest in a little paint for the peach. Knock some of it out.

    And I’m on my way to the doctor’s office this afternoon where I will surely be scolded for several things, most especially letting my prescription lapse. Last time they forgot to weigh me and I was disappointed because I knew I’d lost. This time though-post birthday celebration(SSS), multiple trips, and a weekend at my girls I’m quite certain they’ll remember. ugh. I say forget Fat Tuesdays and just post when you feel like it about losing or not/excercising or not/brownies or not. Hugs to you today!

  13. Paula says:

    I have a 15 year old boy and his aim sucks. :::sigh::: I should own stock in clorox wipes.
    So sorry about your puppy. I thought of you last night as our own sweet yellow lab was having a few moments of labored breathing. He’s 10 and I know he won’t be with us forever. I cried just looking at his sweet face.
    Thinking of you and praying for your family.

  14. Jessy says:

    They say that c-sections are like getting a little mini tummy tuck. I’ve had two now and have yet to see the validity in that. Maybe we should start a facebook page called “If we can get 10k fans Facebook will give us all tummy tucks!” Oh wait, I need to spell half the words wrong and use excessive exclamation points and type in all caps. Oh, well.

  15. Jill says:

    Since you live out in Ruralville, you could always send HD outside and let him pee there. Then who cares what he hits? : ) It would probably also make potty training LD a breeze. All males like to pee outside.

  16. Ada says:

    do you think the previous owners of the ruralville house LOOOOOOOOOVED peach pie. OR do you think they were sad to leave and jealous that you got to live there so they went through and painted everything peach just to be mean.

    What kind of gravy are you making? Biscuits and gravy or chicken and gravy?

  17. Amber says:

    Sorry about Mabel. I cry just thinking about our dog dying she is such a part of the family.

    Eh, Fat Tuesday, I’d rather read about your secret rice krispie treat recipe 🙂

  18. Tracie says:

    On the phone thing, I think it is fairies.

    That is the answer that my seven year old gives for many things that she doesn’t understand how they work and I have decided to embrace that. Why my jeans suddenly don’t fit? Fairies shrunk them. (it certainly wasn’t the log of cookie dough) Email? Fairies again.

    Maybe fairies painted your house.

    On Mabel. Obviously the fairy explanation doesn’t work for something so real and raw and serious. The only thing I know is lots of hugs and cuddles and honest answers. That won’t stop the tears or the hurt…but one day they will lessen.

  19. Stick with magic. It is a whole lot easier to explain than the real science behind it all…take it from me, I was a science teacher before I donated my brain to my children. Now, I am dumb as a box of rocks, and the answer “magic” totally works for me.

    I have been thinking about you and praying for your family. It just plain old hurts to lose a beloved pet. Goldens seem to work their way into your heart and just tear it to shreds when they leave. Not fair at all!!

  20. JoAnn says:

    Oh you.
    I hope you feel better soon, but you’re still hilarious AND wise, because they really should offer tummy tucks freely to women who bear children. ESPECIALLY ones who have C-sections, because we’re right there, in the OR, waiting for our tummy to be tucked. It’s so not fair. What a waste.

    Maybe you could have your kids tell you a memory of Mabel and you could compile “stories of mabel” for therapeutic measures…and I’m sure they’d be hilarious coming from your chillins.

  21. michelle says:

    Taylor I hope your monday is going well. Definite E for effort 🙂 Thinking of you today as I am sure you are still trying to help the kids make sense of losing Mabel. I hope you have a great day with lots of brownies and pizza! 🙂

  22. I’m with you on the peach. I can’t see that you have time to pain though. So my question is:

    1) Will your many and assorted relatives come to your house for a painting “party” and relieve you of your peach oppression?

  23. Martha says:

    An E+ even, for excellent effort. Little steps Taylor. (hugs) Sounds like a pajama day is needed. Find a wildlife documentary, cuddle up with kids and a few bowls of popcorn and call it the science lesson for today.

    A question, hmmm. Do you LIKE homeschooling? Forget about whether you think you’re any good at it, but do you like it? I’m quite jealous and often think it would be nice to spend all day home teaching and learning with my daughter… but then I remember how crazy it makes me.

  24. rebecca d says:

    Thank you for ending “Fat Tuesday”… I no longer have to avoid you on Tuesdays…

    I don’t know how phones work either, but I think they are addictive… 10 years ago nobody but drug dealers had them and the world existed just fine… Last night I forgot to charge mine so it was “dead” today… Chaos ensued…

    Maybe handsome Dude’s aim is bad, but at least he is using the correct room and not major household appliances… anymore.

    Question: What is your favorite brownie recipe? I used to think I had a good one, but I’m just not feeling it right now…

  25. Kristy says:

    I so agree about the tummy tuck for Mommies. I keep wondering how long I can blame this excess stomach weight on “baby weight.” I think I will just continue to call it that until someone says…aren’t your kids grown already? So I agree that no more Fat Tuesdays are a good thing!

    And I have never been able to get pen marks off of my walls with a magic eraser. Crayons, yes. Permanent marker, yes. But pens, not a chance. I don’t know what the deal is, but I scrubbed and scrubbed and the pen marks wouldn’t go away!

    And my question is…Do you ever wish you would have waited until you were older to start having kids? The reason I ask is because I had my first one when I was 22 and my second at 24 and I love them so so dearly. But sometimes I wish that me and my husband would have spent more time with just the two of us before the hustle and bustle of kids started. Just wondering what you thought!

  26. If you use cornstarch instead of flour in your gravy you won’t get lumps in it.

    I don’t know when HD will learn to aim, but if you find some way to get that under control, let me know. Prince is 6 and still has terrible aim.

    I like Fat Tuesday. Not that I was very participatory in it, but I find comfort in knowing I’m not the only one struggling.

    I love your blog and I’m sorry you are having such a hard time! Here’s hoping things start looking up soon!

  27. Andi says:

    Rubbing alcohol removes ink…From clothes, skin, whatever. I will not guarantee it won’t damage your peach paint…And that would truly be a tragedy. Truly.

    A tragedy.

  28. Elizabeth says:

    Oh Taylor… so sorry that you had to say goodbye to Mabel. It’s so hard to lose a member of the family. Don’t forget to tell the kiddos about the Rainbow Bridge – it always helps my kiddos. I too have an elderly dog, and am not looking forward to saying goodbye.

    Also – I too would love to know what makes those phone thingies work. I mean, if you could do it with string and cans, why all the complexity?
    Hope your days get easier!

  29. You poor little dear ~ peach walls sound like a nightmare 🙁 but I guess you could GO with it! Maybe embrace it by making some citrus divine striped curtains or something…

    What is the reason you homeschool…? Some say because they know they can give their kids a better education, some say they are worried about today’s craziness at public schools – so just curious, what your reason is…

  30. missy says:

    even in your sadness, you are making others laugh.

    peach is always wrong. unless it’s 1986. although, i must say, it looks very nice in that picture.

    no question, just a comment…i like you.

  31. If you start calling it “Skinny Tuesday,” maybe you’ll get the added inspiration to keep those 3-5 pounds off for good.

  32. Just look at all the people who love you girlfriend! And I will give Bimlissa a big hug from you next week, wish you could come with!

  33. diana at home says:

    LJW, you have the best readers, commenters, friends. Would that have anything to do with YOU being a tremendous person? On phones: read a Thomas Edison bio to the kids. I know AGBell invented it, but TE made it practical for common use. My smarty-pants youngins like to tell how both phones and light bulbs work. Annoying? Yes, they are related to me! Gravy: cornstarch + boullion. Aim: dudes do not learn this until they have to clean it themselves or pay to have it cleaned. At 3 he is a bit young, so the outside approach sounds good. Mabel: record the stories/memories now. It may be heartbreaking – again – when the kids begin to forget her before you do. R.I.P Mabel Maliblahblah.
    Ditch Fat Tuesday in favor of excellent holiday food suggestions. Tuesdays count as holidays. 🙂

  34. Erin says:

    I don’t understand technology either.

    I always think about how I walked around with a laptop, not plugged into anything, while looking at & talking to Josh *live* while I was in Michigan and he was in Korea.
    It still baffle my mind.

  35. Christine C says:

    I don’t understand tv’s myself. It amazes me that I can turn it on and there mystically magically is a picture. And the fact that I can use On Demand to tell it what I want to watch…..Crazy.

    As for everything else…… No matter what you type, we still like to read it. Life is not all sunshine and lemonade. Your blog is real and thats why we come back. As for why you named it The Lumberjacks Wife – Do you not have a BIG pile of chopped wood on the premises of your new property and yet do not have a place to burn it???? That says it all to me:)

    ((((hugs))))) 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 :0)

  36. Christina says:

    Baby steps are good…if I couldn’t take baby steps most days, I would just fall flat on my face.
    I feel like there is a lot I would like to say, but don’t want to sound trite. You aren’t alone in what you are going through, and I’m glad you can write here and be encouraged, I hope, by everyone who reads and loves you.

  37. Jan says:

    I also make my gravy with cornstarch – and then instead of standing at the stove beating it, I dump it all in the blender – broth, cornstarch, and whatever “drippings” you have – hit the pulse button a time or two – then back into the pan to simmer and just like magic there are no lumps.

    We lost “Chewy” about 3 years ago – hit by a car when she shouldn’t have even been anyway near the road – my fault for that – I cried and cried and cried. My son came over as my hubby was out of town, and he dug the hole and we had a little funeral service out in the pasture. There were 3 cows crowded around us and deer stopped in the adjoining pasture to watch – it’s like all of the other animals knew what happened. Our pets do leave such a mark.

    Within a month, we contacted the aussie rescue people and got another austrailian shepherd – “Sweets” – and then 6 months ago they called us to adopt a miniature aussie who we named “Sassy”. These are our kids! I know you will have to have time to mourn, but then extend your home to another dog that doesn’t have one and is waiting for a forever home with you and your family to love them.

  38. Oh, I’m so sorry. We just had to put our dog down, it was SO hard. I miss her. Hang in there! It will get better!

  39. First let me say ditto to all of the above and second since only a few have asked a question, I will ask one. When Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water why did Jack fall down and break his crown? Was he a klutz or was he pushed? (queue dun, dun, dun, music) A mystery that may never be solved.

  40. diana at home says:

    Mmmm. Aparently I was in “bossy big sister” mode yesterday and failed to ask the pressing questions: What is it that makes you smile? What (if anything(!?) makes LJ smile?

  41. Teresa Dawn says:

    I’m always wondering about the phone thing myself haha

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