If you learn nothing else from this post, learn that I am wee pretty. Thank you.

The following happenstance between me and my 3-year-old occured just this very morn.

Brace yourselves.

It’s exciting.

Ok.  That was a lie.

Irregardless.  Feel free to brace yourselves.

***

Me:  Good Morning, Dude!

HD (short for Handsome Dude . . . keep up, people!):  arrggghhhh-hrmmmmph

Me:  Alrighty then.

HD throws himself prostrate on the ground.

Prostrate.  Not prostate.

Get your minds out of the gutter.  Or the medical dictionary.

Moving on.

HD: (wailing) Mom!  Why you not give me chocolate milk?!

Me:  Would you like some chocolate milk?

HD:  NO!  I want cereal.

Me:  I can make you cereal.  Can you say please?

HD:  I did!

Me:  No.  You didn’t.

The previous sentence has thrust Handsome Dude into a fit of sorrow and despair.

I ignore him and continue to desperately sip the life-giving goodness of my morning cup of coffee . . . all while pretending there isn’t a handsome, albeit naughty, child throwing a fit at my feet.

HD:  (who is surprisingly much happier now)  Yay!  It’s Barney time!

Me:  Did you want to watch a morning show?

HD:  Yes!  Barney!  Let’s go!

Me:  Well, did you want breakfast first?

HD:  Yes!

Me:  Ok, well you cannot eat upstairs. 

HD:  I just watch Barney.

I decide I am too lazy to climb the 10-12 dreaded stairs up to the television area.

Me:  I know!  Let’s snuggle on the couch and look for deer!

HD:  Yes!  Deer?  Deer?  Where are you?

*giggle, giggle, chuckle, chuckle*
Is anyone else amazed by his speedy attitude change?
 
HD:  Mommy!  You wee pretty!
Me:  Thank you, dude.
HD:  Oh!  Yay!  It’s cookie time!
Me:  No.  It’s not.
HD:  Why?
Me:  Dude.  It’s like 7am.
HD:  What are you eating?  What are you eating?
He tries to pry my mouth open.
 
Me:  Dude!  It’s just snot!  I was sniffling.
Gross.
I know.
 
But I truly am quite congested this morning.
HD:  Can I have some?
Me:  No!  It’s not food!  I just have a cold.
HD:  No!  It’s coffee!  I want some coffee!
Me:  SO.  DO.  I.
HD:  Oh!  Yay!  It’s time for Chuggington!
Chuggington is a tv show.
 
Me:  Ok.  That’s fine.
Not that I let my kids watch aimlessly watch the television, dear readers.  No.  Never.  Ever.
 
***
This is my glamorous life.
Please.
Try to conceal your jealousy.
Happy Wednesday.
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15 Responses to If you learn nothing else from this post, learn that I am wee pretty. Thank you.

  1. Katie says:

    Cracking me up! HD’s a mess!

  2. JoAnn says:

    Mine wanted a cookie for breakfast too! And candy! And a cookie!
    Oh, and candy.

    And, a cookie.

  3. Andi says:

    You are indeed wee pretty…Indeed, I would say you are more than wee…Let’s amp it up to WAY pretty.

  4. Kristy says:

    Hilarious. And I would never ever let my kids aimlessly watch TV either. No, I would never turn on the TV and let them stare at it just so that I could get a shower. Nope…that’s just not my style…

  5. I miss those snuggly mornings with the kids. Now that they are in school, those days are few and far between. Princess used to call hot chocolate “baby coffee” and she asked for it regularly. I have my mom to thank for getting her started with that.

  6. Dawn says:

    HD is right–you are pretty! This will be really fun to read in ten years or so. When he’s throwing another fit about something! Cause really, they never quit!

  7. I love those quick attitude changes…goes to show that when we suspect they’re putting on a show for us, we’re usually right!

    Oh lord, I need coffee…

  8. You’ll be so glad you wrote that down one day. 🙂

  9. Chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-Chugginton!

    HD is welcome to join Prince Charming as we never watch Playhouse Disney in the morning while Momma sips desperately at her cup of hot vanilla black tea.

    Nope, I don’t know all the words to that song…

  10. MindyLou says:

    I am so glad you are recording your life’s events so you can show your grown HD someday what you had to put up with. Awesome. And, with any luck, he will have kids just like him. It’s called the “mother’s curse”. 🙂 Now go have some more coffee. And come see me on Monday. THAT’s an order!!

  11. Rachel says:

    You are most assuredly wee pretty 🙂

    And I bet I’m the only deaf person on the planet who gets the Chuggington theme song stuck in her head… Chugga chugga Chuggingtoooooon. Not that my kid watches non-educational television or anything, right???

  12. Ada says:

    You are weeee pretty!

  13. Christina says:

    I often take my son to school, come home and stick a video on for my daughter, and lie down again…just for a little rest. 🙂
    And the first thing she said the other morning (I think it was yesterday, but it’s all a blurry mess, really) is,”Can I have some ice cream?” Yes. At 7:10am.
    Also, the high-energy-high-velocity-fit-throwing-mood-changing is a trait that she possesses (and I use that word on purpose)…maybe the two of them will end up together.

  14. Missy Jill says:

    I love the way kids put things. My 6 year old was gazing into my face and said, “Why is your skin all old? Why is it like, OLD?” And then I went and exfoliated.

  15. Jill says:

    I’m beginning to understand your random quick topic changes. : )

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