I bring you this post with much pain and agony. I was serving some bacon to my eldest and I burnt my right middle finger. Right after my husband told me it was too hot.
He is such a know it all.
And, as a result of this, each time I type any of the upper right letters of the keyboard, a tear is brought to my eye.
I do it all for you. Is anyone reading this? You better be.
Who has bad photography skills, a lumberjackish husband, a burnt finger and dislikes the taste/look/feel/thought of bacon?
This girl.
Bacon. Another meat product I don’t like. Meat gives me the willies.
So. I trust you all had a lovely Thanksgiving, no? We did make it out of our driveway afterall and forged ahead through the 3 UNPLOWED roads before making it to the slightly plowed highway.
We drove past the nudist resort. They had a sign outside that read,
“Thanksgiving Open House. Clothed.”
Too bad we didn’t have some extra time.
Then we drove with much stress and skidding and sliding and stress. We did all this for two turkey dinners.
Turkey. Another meat product. Gives me the pee pee shivers.
Our first stop was my inlaws. It was a quieter meal seeing as how the boys were both out of town. The boys, of course, being my husband’s adult brothers.
Remember Jason?
Remember Alex?
Apparently they are too cool for us.
Whatever.
Sweet Pea reading to her cousin. Fun Fact: Sweet Pea had that same dress for her first Thanksgiving.
Where does the time go?
*tear*
Hold on to your pants, folks. I am about to show you the star of the Maliblahblah Family Thanksgiving Table:
The Huckleberry Pie.
Let us have a moment to commemorate the 7.2 man hours of dreadful berry picking it took to create this yummy pie.
***
Thank you.
And now, I bring you:
Goober Parent Update: InLaw/Husband/Computer/Internet Edition.
LJ (Lumberjack): Dad. Where did you butcher your pig? Did you get a good deal?
Yes. This is a typical Maliblahblah holiday meal conversation.
FIL (Father in Law): Why? Were you able to get your pig off the side of the road?
LJ: How did you know about it?
FIL: Somebody told me it was in that blog.
MIL (Mother in Law): Taylor. We cannot ever find your blog! We need help. Where is it?
My husband, being the silly that he is, went and got the laptop and pulled up my blog right then and there for my inlaws to read.
Oh, for the horror.
MIL: Ok. So I see the blog here. But how will I find it on my own?
LJ: www.thelumberjackswife.com
MIL: Every time?
LJ: Every time.
MIL: So, next week if I type in www.thelumberjackswife.com, her blog will be there?
LJ: Yes.
MIL: Every time?
LJ: Every time.
So. Now I am nervous to blog because it is uber weird to think that my inlaws are reading this. And I know they have no idea what uber means. Or holla.
And they are probably wondering who this so-called Lumberjack is.
Wait! Why am I worried? They will probably visit www.theelectricianswife.com or www.oursonswife’sblog.com or www.howdidweendupwithsuchastrangegirlforadaughterinlaw.com.
Phew.
Holla, Inlaws!
Holla.
After we ate and fellowshipped and fellowshipped and ate we loaded up the children and headed to my parents’ house for more food. And fellowship.
Hey, Ma! It’s Thanksgiving, not Christmas!
After dinner, we had our usual Thanksgivingish game of “Chronology.”
Chronology is always played in my parent’s house because it allows my father to gloat over all of us imbeciles with his superior knowledge of history and events and time and happenstances.
Remember my dad?
Have you heard of Chronology? I didn’t think so. But it exists.
It is a game where you create your own timeline based on actual, historical events.
We sure know how to have a good time, don’t we?
Sometimes we even break out some water. With ice.
Meagan and Sweet Pea, thrilled that one of their dates was about the first Thanksgiving. Such a coincidence.
Me and David.
I bet if I was a dead, trophy buck with a huge rack he would be smiling.
We lost. Of course.
But we could beat any team with our sweet snow plowing/snow blowing skills of a driveway out in the middle of nowhere.
We are the Husband and Wife Snow Removal/Long Underwear Wearing Dream Team.
We got skills. Or skillz. Whichever you prefer.
Now, the pressure is on for my dad. My dad forms his whole identity around his knowledge of facts and dates and knowing each word of every single history book ever written.
He does, in fact, get cocky.
We let him have his moment.
But I must tell you . . .
He lost.
Lost to Talia.
Holla, Talia!
Little Dude spent the whole night singing, “Mommy and Daddy, Sitting in a Tree . . . “
Over. And over. And over. And over.
Goodness gracious this post is long.
Ok. After all of that jazz, I stayed the night at my parent’s house so me and Ma could get a head start on the Black Friday deals.
Come on.
I can’t be the only 29 year old who stayed the night at her parent’s house?
Right?
And then more stuff happened but my burnt bacon finger is pleading with me to end all this nonsense.
Bacon. Nasty.
So, tell me, dear readers.
Did you go out shopping on Friday? How many Thanksgiving meals did you eat? Did you eat huckleberry pie? Did your dad lose at his favorite game? Is your son as cute as mine?
Did you sleep at yo mama’s house?
Happy Weekend!
I don’t Black Friday shop because shopping is not an endurance sport. I had two Thanksgiving dinners, which left me completely miserable from the amount of food I ate. No huckleberry pie. No father losing a game. No cute son. And no, I did not spend the night at my parents’ but I was the only sibling not to, so you’re not weird. I think that is all. Stop by the blog sometime, my friend! I miss your presence (since I’ve never technically seen your face!)
You make me laugh and even my hubly to chuckle.
No we did not go shopping. We had ONE meal. No suckleberry pie. My dad lost at the ‘putacookingonyourforeheadandtrytogetitintoyourmouthbymovingyourfacialmuscles” game. Yes he’s as cute as yours. (my son, not my dad.) And not Thanksgiving but once a year or so something calls for me sleeping over with my Mama. I ain’t ashamed!
Is your dad a plumber? Is that why he gets “caulky?”
Haha!
And I prefer skills over skills.
You know.
haha again!
And I like your volcano joke.
And I like you.
And this post made me smile.
but don’t fix your typos or then my comment wont make sense.
GoshDarnIt.
Sorry. I had to fix it.
My readers deman excellence. 😉
But your comments were funny.
At least I know how truly funny they were.
GoshDarnItAgain.
Demand.
Not deman.
I need sleep.
It would have been funnier if you left it “deman”
😉
Get some sleep.
I didnt black friday shop, I am not that brave! I am glad you had a good thanksgiving and made it out in our crazy snow mess! I was so glad that it warmed up to 30 degrees 🙂 feels like a heat wave.
I didn’t do any Black Friday shopping… but I had two Thanksgivings.
And Colby is preparing to go dear hunting in the morning as I type this. Oh my. Think of my and my poor deer covered walls.
Marla
I didn’t sleep at my mama’s house…but she slept at mine. Does that count?
And FYI my parents got snowed out of that place where you live, and much to my fathers dismay he had to spend Thanksgiving with me instead of his mommy.
oh the horror.
1 meal. Yes, we slept at my momma’s house….because she lives 9 hours away….and we’re hoping we can get back.
No I did NOT go Black Friday shopping, although I am still upset over the awesome deal I lost out on by not going. I just couldn’t begin to muster up the strenth to get up at 3 am in the 15 degree weather. Oh well. I saved us money, I’m sure! And I did not sleep at my parents, but i honestly wouldn’t mind because i think that’s fun. My husband does not. 🙂 And I had two Thanksgivings, but they were paced out, one on Thursday and one on Friday–brilliant, no? You just gotta get the two families to make a deal. It’s way way more enjoyable that way; two different days of awesome food, games, and fun! I highly recommend it. Can’t wait to hear about your black Friday experience!!
P.S. I love bacon and am very sad for you. Poor Taylor, living a baconless life!! Oh, the humanity!
“I bet if I was a dead, trophy buck with a huge rack he would be smiling.”
That was THE BEST! I was LOL for reals.
No, 1, no, no, cuter, no.
Oh no, she stole my favorite line! It’s mine, I tell you! It made me LOL.
“I bet if I was a dead, trophy buck with a huge rack he would be smiling.”
Yes, I shopped, but only a little. And the darndest thing happened. The cashier FORGOT to charge me for a bunch of things. About $47 worth of merchandise. They were all small cute Christmasy pottery things. She was so busy wrapping them up for me that she forgot to scan them. Now I have to go back and pay for the stuff she forgot. Ugh. I don’t want to get her in trouble, but I can’t not pay for them.
I will be sleeping at my mom’s house over Christmas.
One Thanksgiving with a brined turkey and pecan pie. It was super yummy.
Yes, one, no, no, cuter and no. If you want to read about our thanksgiving you can go here. http://thecharmingtyrant.blogspot.com/2010/11/happy-burp-thanksgiving.html I try to be funny, but sometimes when no one comments, you wonder, what in the heck did I just do?
I love this. You are a funny lady Taylor Maliblahblah.
I have to say though – that pie looks yummy.
I love Thanksgiving. Just one meal for us.
I did a wee bit of Black Friday shopping, but not until like 10 am. Did you guys get alot of good deals??
Sorry you don’t like bacon. I feel for you. It is one of my favorite foods 🙂 But then again, it would probably help my waistline if I didn’t like it so much!
Now ya got me wanting to try Huckleberry anything after seeing that pie!
I feel for you with that burn. This stuff works like a charm, vitamin e capsules, but they must be the vitamin E d-Alpha, and not the dl-alpha. Prick the capsule and pour it on. You’ll be amazed. It also is excellent for bug bites and stings, bruises, cuts and sunburns. A pharmacist told me about it when our puppy scratched my young daughter’s face badly.
http://www.naturemade.com/
How ’bout Turkey Bacon? Does that make you squirm?
What if others prepare such carnivorous delights? For example, if I were to serve you a meal, should I leave out meat? Just askin’ in case we get stationed in Alaska and have to drive through your state, and then on the off chance get to have a meal together…all because we won’t fly with those ridiculous pat downs and body scans being a threat ;)….just askin?
That was the absolute funniest comment about if you were a dead trophy buck he would be smiling!!
I love your dad! He is so cute. Are you turning into a vegetarian?!
I feel about Black Friday the same as you feel about turkey…”it gives me the peepee shivers.”
I stayed at my Mom’s.
AND I stayed at my in-laws.
And now I am home.
Amen and Amen.
1 thanksgiving ON thanksgiving and one on friday, thnx
uummm….no black friday shopping for me, because you still have to have MONEY to shop on black friday, and i have none…
my skillz include being able to eat ginormous amounts of mashed potatoes drowned in gravy and the same amount of pumpkin pie.
didn’t play any games with dear ol’ dad, and i have to tell you, my son was exceptionally cute!!! =)
and……..i slept in my own comfy bed!!!
glad your thanksgiving was great!!
I did sleep at my Momma’s house!! And we ate Thanksgiving meal at least thrice before the weekend was over. It was awesome!! 🙂
I love meat–a meal is not complete without it. Unless there is a sufficient amount of starches :). I have no son, but a cute son in law. My parents are dorky. I like to spend the night at their house and I’m a bit older than you. We don’t play Chronology, but 10-point Pitch is required at all family gatherings. We had two Thanksgivings. I’m contemplating dieting by laxative taking but am afraid that since I work, that is probably not a good idea….
Dude- I feel the need to be forthright and tell you that I don’t know how I found you, but am awfully glad I did. Am I the only one that gets lost in blogdom and has know idea how I got there? ahem. You crack me right up! I thought of you today as I hauled 2 piglets in the back of my in-laws suv. My hope was that we wouldn’t A) get pulled over by a cop and make him pass out due to the stench, or B) get in an accident and have piglets roaming the highway. I did manage to remove said stench. (I’m sure you were concerned about that) Anywho, thank you for the cyber giggles. It’s always much needed.
I’m glad you got out.
I’m glad you went clothed.
I’m glad you recapped it all here for our entertainment.
Sorry, my son is cuter than yours. Mom pride. Aaaand you should check out his new fb photo. No T-day dinner, no dad, never had a huckleberry of any persuasion. And still life goes on. It’s gorgeous here, warm and sunny and we have our famous Santa Anas goin on which is lots of fun. Love the photos, more more more. Cute pix of dad.