O TannenBOMB.
Ha! Now that was clever. I thought of that hours ago and just could not wait to post it.
I have nothing better to do.
Plus I feel sickly and my husband is going to be late tonight. He is earning “World’s
Greatest Husband” award by going to do the big, holiday grocery shop tonight before coming home.
Holla!
It’s annoying when I say, “holla,” isn’t it?
Back to the tree, nay the TannenBOMB.
I really wanted a nice tree. I had hopes and dreams of a magical Christmas display.
I am numb, folks.
Numb.
My boys are set on ruining my life. I am sure this is all their faults. Do you see how the lights have been pulled off and shoved on again? Do you see that the ornaments have no order?
Do you see how the tree has lost its will to live?
This is because of my boys. Since we have brought this lovely tree into our home, the boys have:
A) Redecorated it.
B) Ran their trucks into it.
C) Jumped off the couch into the tree.
D) Knocked the tree over whilst I was in the shower.
E) Put the tree right side up whilst I was in the shower.
What can we learn from this?
Well. I should never shower.
Today, Little Dude wrote on the walls with a pencil while I was in the shower.
Two days ago, Handsome Dude tried to fix himself breakfast and poured milk all over the floor. Where was I? In the shower.
Three months ago, Handsome Dude released a bunny that resulted in its untimely death. Me? Showering.
I shall live out my days soiled and smelly.
I am not getting a new tree. We have made due thus far and there is no turning back. I am hoping for about 30% greenery on Christmas morn.
So. Earlier I was in a “Woe is me I am such a bad Christmas Mom” kind of mood. But, I am happy to announce that I got festive.
I pulled out the crafty-junk and let the kids have at it.
The kids made and decorated their own Christmas trees.
Perhaps it was their subtle way of hinting to me that the actual Christmas tree was no longer cutting it for them.
I was declared Mother of the Holiday Season and all I had to do was outline a few tree shapes.
Which were mediocre at best, but nevertheless, the kids were astounded.
Sweet Pea and her tree, complete with presents and snow at the bottom.
Daisy Mae and her tree.
Handsome Dude and his tree.
Let the records show that I did not trace that one.
Little Dude eating sandwich crusts.
All Little Dude did was eat and ink himself up with some sweet tatts on his fingers.
Yes. I said tatts.
What of it?
Then we had a picnic with star (see! festive!) sandwiches and a movie.
A Christmas movie, I will have you know.
And Handsome Dude won’t stop singing, “If you sit on my lap today, a kiss a toy is the price you’ll pay” over and over.
(Name that movie)
And now I have to question whether or not that movie is appropriate for young audiences.
Or any audience.
Things to ponder.
So, there! We spent the day with much yuletide-ish merriment.
Later Dudes!
Taylor- Checkout Beth’s blog at http://www.thestoriesofA2Z.com. She has these super cute snowmen made out of donut holes. I just made them, it takes about 3 minutes and the kiddo’s are delighted. Easy and quick Christmas breakfast.
I’m glad we’re only interfriends.
Since you’re going to stop showering and all.
Now that is funny… I submit it as comment of the week……
I second that!
Good thing Christmas is less than 3 days away! Your poor tree looks like a fire hazard : (
yes, I was thinking it looked like a fire hazard.
Santa Claus is comin’ to town!!!!
Oh! That tree is just so sad! You are right, you should just stay dirty and smelly, I guess that is what the boys are telling you…
I LOVE Sweet Pea’s tree! How creative with presents and all great job! Looks like a fun day. I hope you feel better soon, yuckyness has been going around and I hope you can kick it and no one else gets sick!
Pretend you’re going for the Charlie Brown Christmas tree look – then your tree is perfect!
Also – cotton balls and q-tips make wonderful snowmen materials if you’re still feeling crafty.
I happen to think you’re brilliant.
I am not kidding.
I concur with the cow! That was brilliant “interfriends!” What a great word!
Sorry this has nothing to do with your post, just your readers.
But you are still cool even though you have a dead tree!
People have been paying lots of money the past few years for a Charlie Brown Christmas tree and you’ve got a homemade one. Think of it as having one up on the Christmas merchants.
Santa Claus is Coming to Town is the movie and Hubby and I were cracking up at how perverted that song sounds in the year 2010. Maybe it wasn’t so much back in the day, I dunno, but in today’s world, it sounds like Santa was drinking a little too much eggnog and got a little too friendly. I’m probably going to hell for that last comment, or at least will only find coal in my stocking on Christmas morning, but I’m just sayin’ that the song sounds wrong.
Merry Christmas!
Thanks for making me look bad, after your last post and my comment on it. Oh well. I always knew you were better than me. Can I use pregnancy as an excuse?
I like Erin’s comment. Merry Christmas Taylor! 🙂
Hmmmmm . . . I notice that HD is not wearing his glasses in that picture.
So weird.
Taylor! What a small crazy little world. I had no idea you were Phoebe’s cousin, although I did know you went to school with my husband. Funny fact: I have a picture of you and your husband in the audience at our wedding. And I think I saw you in the parking lot of Fred Meyer last week, but you were herding a flock of kids just like me and it didn’t seem like a good time to flag you down. That parking lot is scary.
Your children are beautiful and your blog is so fun. I always appreciate people who tell it like it is because “perfect life” blogging is boring 😉 Thanks for the comment on my blog today, that was a fun surprise! And also thanks for the title of this post, because now I will be singing O Tannenbaum all day, but I only know the first line. So that should be a really fun broken record.
Normally, I think a Christmas Tree should stay up till New Years, but in your case; I think it should come down December 26th as I think this is too dry to stay in the house. Either that or do not turn on the lights.
I still think this is a great tree and it will be one that goes down in your family history:)
Have a very Merry Christmas!
I’ve been having the same thought about not showering. My boys have emptied the un-popped popcorn jar on the floor along with a bit of honey and olive oil. The youngest has carried off the remote and one of the wisemen, as yet to be found. Yesterday I found him atop the kitchen table with just his diaper on and his brothers cereal bowl on his head and today, well today I got up at six and showered while they were still in bed. Unfortunately its the only way I am going to get clean without worrying about what the little munchkins are doing.
Hair Stylist (whom I visit about 2 times a year) – Want to go with something more up to date, a little flirty?
Me – does it involve a hair dryer, a curling iron, or even the liberal use of a brush?
Her- Um, well…yeah.
Me- Then nope. The amount of damage done to my house is in direct proportion to the amount of time I spend in the shower/bathroom, times 4. (D = (T in shower) x 4)
Her- Huh?
Me- Sorry. No thanks. Just a wash and go style please. Some days I am lucky to wash.
The end.
It’s okay. My brother didn’t cut the bottom off of the tree, nor did he leave enough room between the tree and the tree stand, so my poor, beautiful tree is looking pretty sad as well.
Hope you’re feeling better— Merry Christmas!!!
Have your boys peed on the tree? It’s not unheard of.
Bathing before bedtime is really the only safe way to be clean. The kids are down (if not out) and usually another adult is present . . .
Hard won experience, my interfriend. Hard won experience.
Santa Claus Is Coming to Town my favorite!!
Whaaa? My feed suddenly stopped giving me your blog updates! Waaah! Though I must say that I laughed and laughed and giggled. Only because our tree is worse… redneck worse. I am giving up until my son turns 18. Then my husband is bearing the wrath of a City Girl who wants a Pretty Tree.
Hope your Christmas was utterly wonderful!
I think star sandwiches make up for all of it – that is so freaking adorable!
I mean, seriously?
You should win some sort of mom award.
Here’s how I have dealt with the need for a shower in the past…
Wait till husband gets home. After dinner, do or do not do dishes. Whichever suits my fancy. Let it be known that anyone coming near my bathroom door, touching my bathroom door, speaking so that their voice may be heard through the bathroom door will be put in the blender, on high, with no remorse. Get a large glass of wine and a book. Draw myself a bubble bath. Sink down in it to my chin. Relax. Hope the children terrorize my husband, knowing all the while they will be perfect little angels for him. Be sure to NOT get out of the bathtub until well after their bedtime so he must singlehandedly put them to bed. Chuckle to myself over my own evil little plan. Get out of tub, put PJ’s on, be angry at myself because I didn’t do the dishes. Say, oh well, they’ll be there tomorrow, and go to bed, perfectly clean for the night and satisfied with my snarkishness. The end.
Try it sometime, it’s wonderful. 🙂