Look! My title rhymed!
I don’t have anything of value to post of today. As if I ever do. But post I shall!
A few days ago, I mentioned how we got the manly men to smile in a picture by tricking them into fantasizing about 10 Cords of Tamarack.
I was surprised, nay, shocked at how many of you did not know what this was!
For shame, dear readers. For shame.
1. Tamarack, I will have you know is the best type of firewood out there. And each year my husband hunts for the perfect, dead Tamarack.
Oh, yes. It’s true.
Why?
Because it burns HOT and SLOW. This is good. The fire last longer and warms you and makes you feel all happy and tingly inside.
2. It is important that the tree is dead.
A) Because it is illegal to cut down living trees. And Lumberjacks surely are law-abiding citizens.
B) Because if you burn “green” (live) wood, sap will get all over you and your jeans and your fingers and then your hair when you try to brush your hair out of your eyes.
C) Technically I should not know about B if you refer to A. I shall have to investigate with my husband as to why I know what green wood burns like.
D) I know. I think that even if it is dead, it takes a while to dry out. Like a couple of years? I cannot be certain.
E) Still. Perhaps I shall remind him. Lumberjacks can be shady.
F) Kidding! Kind of.
G) Is anyone still reading this? Does anyone care about the mysterious ways of the Tamarack?
3. A cord is a measurement of wood. I do not know the measurements, nor do I care. All I know is it is a lot of wood to stack and gives you splinters and backaches.
4. My husband, bless his heart, usually made us get 11-12 cords of wood.
5. We don’t have a wood stove in our new house. Darn.
6. This has taken away his will to live.
7. We will probably get a wood stove for next year. Boo.
Speaking of Tamaracks (Yes, I am still talking about wood. What of it?), my husband has been known to go on drives just to search for dead Tamaracks. And he remembers their locations. For months.
Yet he knows not one of our childrens’ birthdays.
***
Let’s move on to homeschooling.
Homeschooling is going well. I think.
We no longer meet in our homeschool room. We actually ditched that idea in October. It was a bad, bad idea of mine. It works much better to have school in the kitchen.
I am not sure if you are aware of this or not, but my boys are kind of naughty. I found that having them cooped up in the same room as us whilst homeschooling was a horrific and stupid idea.
The girls are doing well, but I am concerned about their ability to do jumping jacks.
I ain’t gonna lie. My girls are kind of gooberish when it comes to the jumping jacks.
Daisy Mae just jumps in the air with her legs hip-width apart and her arms flailing about. The legs never come together and the arms are never in harmony.
Sweet Pea just jumps and twirls and bumps into Daisy Mae.
And they are sure proud of themselves and their mad skills. Or skillz. Whichever you prefer.
Quick! Do you have a 6 or 8 year old girl at home?
Please observe them doing jumping jacks and let me know if my girls are behind.
Thank you.
***
Finally, my friend wants to make me a blog button, but she needs to know what kind of an image I would like for it.
You, like me, might be saying,
“What is a blog button?”
“Why do we need one?”
“What is its purpose?”
“Why does my child do jumping jacks like that?”
“Should I make brownies today?”
I know. These things are all confusing. But for now, let’s just focus on the image part.
I need some ideas on what an image for a pointless blog, such as mine, could use for the aforementioned button.
If you have some ideas, please submit them to me in the comments section post haste!
Happy Wednesday!
PS-And not an AX or a picture of Paul Bunyan.
PPS-This blog is really not about Lumberjacks.
PPPS-Well, today it was. But usually it is not.
PPPPS-What is this blog about?
Things to ponder.
Sorry – it may not really be about Lumberjacks but you are now branded for life with that name. And the button is a brand for your blog.. therefore and heretofore, you will need to incorporate LJness into the button. I would recommend a woman standing with legs apart wielding an ax in the air over her head, while 4 children and a demon puppy are all clinging to her legs.. Oh, and she should also be wearing flippers…
Thanks I think this is a perfect idea!!!!!!! My idea was close to this one, but without the demon puppy… but you SHOULD add an ELK head there somewhere!!!!!!!!!!!!1
or an some animal’s amputated leg…
Geeze, I really should read before I hit post. Please omit the word “an” or “some” in the above comment. Your choice.
Weird! I made my 6YO start doing jumping jacks this week when she was losing her focus on reading. It totally worked, but yeah, the first time her jumping jacks were terrible. The second time I noticed they were much better. I’m going to keep making her do them to see if they improve.
I’m really glad The Lumberjack only cuts down dead Tamaracks. 🙂
Speaking of Lumberjacks… my husband was just grumbling last night that they replaced the Brawny Lumberjack with a Brawny Metro Guy, and how all of America is going to pot with the lack of appreciation for manly men, and so on and so forth. Anyway, I thought of you, with your lumberjack. Perhaps you can put the Brawny Lumberjack to good use on your blog button?! haha, kidding.
Have a great day!
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm……………………brownies………………………………………
Oh. Sorry. I got distracted.
Your children are just fine, jumping-jack awkwardness aside. Don’t worry. 🙂
YES! A blog button! I shall add it to my blog to promote your uber-funny blogginess. And by “promote” I mean that the 3 people that actually read my blog on a daily basis will be able to stop by and see you. And then will probably ditch me. Because you are WAY funnier. And you have a demon dog whereas mine is just a diva.
I have no ideas for a button. Except maybe the cow that makes me laugh every time I see it. But when I think about your blog I don’t think about cows, sooooooo…I got nothing. Sorry. 😉
YES! YES! And the woman should be blond and wearing something akin to what women wear on the cover of romance novels, so it will be hilarious and it will make you look awesome.
Sort of like what Jenny McCarthy did with the cover of her latest book (Haven’t read it)
What?
The internet is YOUR place, might as well look like you do five thousand jumping jacks every day.
My little gal just turned 5 and she can do jumping jacks great. None of the credit goes to me though, so I can’t brag. Her gymnastics teacher taught her. She told her to make X’s with her body, so my girl calls them X’s. Hey, maybe the next time you cover X’s in home school, you can make it a theme and have them jump in X form! 🙂
I would totally use your blog button if you had one.
I second the brownies.
You could do stick figures of your kids, 3 smiling and 1 crying, and have an axe in the background for LJ. No, the axe is probably a bad idea. And stick figures aren’t very dynamic. Ignore my idea. Make brownies. Have one for me. Smile. Make a button of brownies. Eat the button. Get a tummyache. Sorry, you’re probably not smiling after the tummyache. Maybe a bunch of trees with a really little dot in the middle to represent Ruralville? Nah, never mind, that’s kind of stupid.
What about a picture of LJ dressed up in iconic lumberjack garb with his arm around you in stylish pretty city-ish clothes (ignore the kids, they aren’t in the title)? He might even smile. But I doubt it.
Good luck 🙂
Hmmm, I like the blog button idea…. I say very simply…..Flannel background (cause that is what lumberjacks wear) and the Title of the Blog all cute and “lumbery “and a silhouette of the family including LucyFur.
Can’t wait to see it. 🙂
I second this button idea!
I feel like I should be able to rattle off something about development of children, jumping jacks and whatnot, considering my job, but I’m sick today. Which is basically my excuse for having nothing to offer you on that. I’m sure they are fine. How often do you have to do jumping jacks in real life? It’s PE’s equivalent of Algebraic equations! (And yes, I know some people use them in real life, but it’s in everyone’s best interest that I don’t do Math!) I’m blaming the rambling on being sick too. Just for the record.
aawww, man!! i wanted to explore the brownie idea more!! i mean, for realz!! i lovez me some brownies!! as far as the button goes, it should be somewhat lumberjackish…afterall you are the lumjerjacks wife!!! =) you know, some flannel, an axe or two…you get then idea…=)
Yea, hOme TeAcHeD kids can be kinda’ lacking in some areas, like knowing about P.E. and the contents taught thereof. We had to do the same thing in our house, jumping jack lessons and other nonsense. We work at Bible camp in the summer and long ago realized how important it would be for our six home-teached, we also call it house-trained, kids to learn the simple rules of baseball, volleyball, etc., as we watched the homeschooled kids floundering on the fields, not knowing what to do.
This blog is a blog about nothing. And that’s why people love it!
You are the Seinfeld of the blogosphere…
You may thank me later when you go down in history as “Taylor Mahliblahblah (not sure of the spelling there) the Seinfeld of blogging.”
You’re welcome.
Oh, Andi! You stole my exact idea! When she asked what it was about, I thought, “She’s the Seinfeld of blogging. It’s about nothing and it’s hilarious and awesome!”
Oh, I *totally* agree! Seinfeld of blogging!!!!! 🙂
Have you ever watched the clip of American soldiers trying to teach the Iraqi army to do jumping jacks?
No?
Here you go…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfSwS4OO51w
Seriously. That looks exactly like what occurred in my living room the other day! It’s uncanny!
I was thinking your blog button could be something like a Rosie the Riveter-ish theme, but a LumberJill. 🙂 And someone could draw it like a cartoon like Rosie is. Rosie the Riveter is iconic… and I love to read your blog every day. Maybe LumberJill will become iconic in a way in Blog World.
At our homeschool house we also use jumping jacks as a way to get the wiggles out when lessons are just too much not fun. Aaaannndddd the oldest child is simply more physically coordinated than her sister at the same age. At 8, Miss L is still having troubles. We have switched to a small trampoline which accomplishes the same purpose, not necessarily in jumping jack form. I like the X’s idea and will implement soon!
Hello my sister! Love you!
I vote for the picture of the right of your hubby climbing a tree as your button. After all, it is fun to confuse people, is it not?
As for jumping jacks…my 7 year old girl can indeed do them. However, she has taken 3 semesters of Tae Kwon Do at our homeschool co-op. They do jumping jacks there.
You did not, and I wonder why, ask if a 30+ year old girl could do jumping jacks. NOPE! Can’t, or maybe won’t…
As I stated earlier in Andi’s comment, you are the Seinfeld of blogging. And, you are welcome from me, too. I have no idea what a blogging button is or what you do with it, therefore I don’t think I’m qualified to help in this area. But goodluck and Godspeed!
I did not read thru all the comments but I’m pretty sure you need an ax. I think it should be a remake of the painting American Gothic, only instead of a pitchfork LJ could hold an axe.
Your girls are fine and are in the age range to develop the jumping jack skill. I cannot tell you exactly when girls begin jumping jacks but I can tell you when they end. Age 40. For a variety of reasons women over 40 should seriously consider whether or not they want to do a jumping jack. Women 50 and over do not even need to think about it. Trust me on this one.
Oh yes, yes…please make brownies and invite me over…I’ll bring hot chocolate and do jumpin’ jacks with your girls!
I’m thrilled school is goin’ well for ya.
God bless and have a marvelous day sweetie!!!
All I can tell you is that jumping jacks require a lot of coordination, which can partly be genetic. So check out your own mad jumping jack skillz and you may have your answer. Good luck!
I would totally put your button on my blog, no matter what it looks like!
Now, to address what everyone seems to be ignoring, is the fact that “Ten Cords Of Tamarack” sounds like an episode of Star Trek!
Haveagoodday,bye!
I think your blog button should be a picture of a cow….why you ask? Well, for the COW of the week of course. But I also like the other suggestions too. I can’t believe I didn’t notice until you poited it out that you didn’t have a blog button. Come into the Twentieth century Taylor. What’s that you say? Oh, I should actually update my blog and therefore I shouldn’t speak? Oh okay, I suppose. HOLLA! Errr, I mean goodnight.
Wow, you are getting to be big stuff with your big girl blogging pants on. Your own blog button. Who could of thunk it? As for what it looks like……….. Plaid border with a blonde sitting in her big rig with kids arms sticking out the window, maybe a crazy dog chasing her and a LJ in a tree behind her. Don’t know if all that could fit on a blog button, seeing as I don’t have my big girl blog panties on yet:)
PS – I can’t imagine how much wood you have….. We get one cord a season. Just plain old wood no special only found dead wood.
I will go with the obvious for your blog button: 12 cords of tamarack. Dead of course.
I have no idea what a blog button is. And new not of this Tam wood stuff but feel much better because we just starting using the fireplace this year after letting sit dormant for coming up on twenty years and good grief wood burns fast! I mean, ridiculously fast. I would love 11 cords of wood instead of buying it by the box full at the grocery store. You are very lucky to be married to a Lumberjack. As for jumping jacks, my son got good at them only after being enrolled in karate. It improved his coordination in all things about a thousand percent. For me, it was ballet which improved my coordination. So yes, your girls are fine. Can they jump rope? That’s a tricky one. Or hoola hoop? Even trickier.
Yeah, I too, am clueless on the blog button thing…but I do know that it needs to be PEACH colored! ‘Cause I know that’s your favorite color! Maybe have some antlers coming out somewhere.
And the jumping jacks thing…maybe your cutie patoie girls could try jumping slowly, like do half of a jumping jack (?) until they get the rhythm down, then speed up and VIOLA! Jumping Jack jumping girls!
I have no suggestions for you as my artistic talent is nonexistent. Still, I feel compelled to leave a comment.
hey giiirrrrl….would you are someone you know be interested in helping me out here???
http://blog-diggidy.com/index.php/2011/01/ive-been-thinking/
Yay for brownies! And I know what tamarack is now! yay! My 4 yr old girl can do jumping jacks but she has been in gymnastics for over a year and can do all sorts of tricks!
I like the button idea!