I am coming to you live from Ruralville where I am feigning to watch, and be interested in, my childrens’ movie.
After reading your comments on yesterday’s post, I have come up with a whole post on just some of things you all said.
I hope you have your party pants on.
1. This will probably not make you feel better, but I didn’t answer the door when the Donna-seeker came. Handsome Dude did.
2. Yes. I will start door-safety-training post haste. Don’t scold me.
3. I am sure you will all be just as disappointed as I was, but the Craigslist 8-seater table sold before we got a chance to look at it.
4. Boo, Craigslist. Boo.
5. I did take a bath. In case you were dying to know.
6. I did not make pizza. Not enough cheese. We had tacos. Sans elk. Holla.
7. When I do make pizza, I use Pioneer Woman’s crust recipe. You can find it here.
Now.
Don’t you all go over to her site at once. We wouldn’t want to crash it now, would we?
That was a joke. And a darn good one, I might add.
Please note: I would never add all those toppings that she so carelessly throws on her pizza. My husband would scorn me for the foolish woman that I was for serving a vegetable on a pizza.
And please also note: My pizza crust doesn’t quite look as good as hers does when I make it. So, I probably don’t make it right.
However, with the right amount of cheese, anything tastes good.
Can I get an amen?
8. I am weird tonight. Sorry. It happens.
9. I made Pioneer Woman’s Spaghetti and Meatballs tonight. I did, of course, substitute elk for the beef. Cause I am lucky like that.
10. When I make spaghetti now, I must make it the meatball form. Why, you ask? Well. It is much easier to spot elk when it is in the ball format that when it is just ground up into the sauce. The ball assists in my attempt to lead an elk-free life.
11. I ate a lot tonight. I fear I think garlic bread is my friend, when, in truth, it is not.
12. The exercise DVD I did yesterday was Leslie Sansone’s 4 mile walk. I should probably do it 7 times tonight on account of the garlic bread.
13. I made my lowfat brownie/cake recipe thing again tonight and I realized that in my original post, I gave the wrong amount of water.
Oops.
This just goes to show you that none of my recipes can be trusted.
If you are still foolish enough to try it, just follow the recipe on the back of the brownie mix box, but substitute unsweetened applesauce for oil and egg whites for egg. Throw some light cool whip on top and call it good.
My apologies for originally stating you need 1 cup of water, when in fact, you needed only 1/4 cup.
I am sure it wouldn’t really matter.
14. A lot of you made me laugh yesterday. And I had to pick two COWS.
COW 1 goes to Mindee:
You could rename Lucy Fur and next time the man asks for Donna, hand him the puppy and say, “Here she is, she’s all yours!”
Ha!
COW 2 goes to Hoosier At Heart
Donna-Man is wee scary. Do not open the door. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Maybe I over embellished his crazy-ness and now everyone is worried.” Am I right? Yes I am. I don’t care. Do not answer the door. Right now, immediately, do two things. 1) write that man a note explaining the Donna situation to him and put it in your mailbox. 2) Hide snacks in Little Dudes windowless room. The next time he comes to the door, just yell through the door, “You’ve got a note in the mailbox!” Then hide yourself and your kids in Little Dudes windowless room and live on the snacks until the Lumberjack comes home. Or you could just shoot him. Now I’m not sure. Crap.
Even Sir Lumberjack laughed at that one. And Hoosier gets 100 meaningless points for saying wee scary. Cause that means she retains the pointless information I throw at her on a regular basis.
Holla, Hoosier at Heart!
Holla.
***
Today was another fun-filled Saturday out here in middle-of-nowhere-ville.
The Lumberjack got bored.
This is never good.
Our property has tons and tons of brush and bushes that he hates. So, he plans on clearing it all out.
Yes. All 20 acres of it.
His plan is to trim them down with his chainsaw and then burn them.
I think we got 1/600th of the land cleared today.
And when I say “we”, clearly I mean “we” because, yes, I was out there hauling branches to the burn piles like the helpful wife that I am.
And my arms now feel like Jell-O, on account of the massive muscle it takes to do anything with that man.
Alright. That’s all for now.
Happy Saturday
I think hauling brush counts as exercises… thus no workout DVD. Right? Win-win. 🙂
Sounds like you worked off that garlic bread hauling branches.
Every time I see him burning something, I think, “Man, he is lucky he doesn’t live in CA”.
I used to work for the Air District. Don’t hate me.
Anyway, you need a permit for that stuff over here…and only on special days. Come to think of it, maybe YOU would benefit from a move over here. We could hang out, and LJ would have his pyromaniacal tendencies restricted by the government. God Bless America.
Oh, and he probably would have to get rid of half his guns. And, he’d have to pay about 1,000 dollars for his Rig’s car tags.
BUuuutttt…there’s not Elk over here. You’d have to go to Arizona for that. WIN!
Oh, I think the Lumberjack might end up sending you an inappropriate text in response to that last observation…
Heehee.
Amen! for the cheese. especially now that I can’t have it. mean ol’ lactose intolerance.
It may or may not interest you to know that I do not even go to that pioneer woman’s blog/site, whatever. She has entirely too much going on and is in danger of entering M.S. (martha stewart) territory. Too much of everything being just right is just wrong. (hmm. it may or may not be too late/early for coherence.)
I would like to concur on the COW. Hoosier at Heart had me crackin’ up too. Holla, Hoosier!
Also, goats are effective brush clearing options – involving no fire, nor use of your feminine muscles. Bonus – they are tasty. You’ll love it. HAHAHAHA. 🙂
I would like to redeem my points now. Thank you.
Also 1/600th is an awesome start! You are sooo almost done!
Hauling stuff definitely counts as a workout. As does moving massive amounts of snow and ice which is the kind of fun we’ve been having at our house this weekend.
Sorry about the table.
Yes! Come to NYC and I will play tour guide. And I promise there will be no elk unless its in the form of a purse : )
I was going to tell you that the hauling of brush entitled you to endless garlic bread but I see others have beat me to the punch. As usual, I’m a day late and a dollar short.
Have a wonderful Sunday, hopefully, sans heavy labor. (manual kind not childbirth kind.. that just sounded weird)
Amen to cheese!
Cheese is my friend!
I am over the top excited at winning the COW!
No, seriously – I am.
It is with much fear and trepidation that I am letting you know that I have given you a blog award on my latest post. You’re gonna kill me, I know. Go check it out. Love you,……really.
Dairy fat makes everything taste better…shhh, don’t tell anyone I said that 😉
Yep, brush carrying cancels out garlic bread indulgence. That’s my kind of exercise anyway–something gets accomplished and I am not doing repetitive movements in front of the tv for nothing. Not that I would do that–exercise in front of the tv. Or anywhere else…..
I love this post and its randomness. You have inspired me to go back and answer the various questions people ask me in comments. I never know what to do so I just ignore them. I know, right, how rude. This is a great idea.
And you made it fun and light, and interesting, I read every word!
Totally had a great time here, thank you!
Stopping by from Hoosier at Heart, congratulations on your award.
jello huh?
its okay…
Lumberjack likes dessert.
What?
(don’t hate me, I haven’t had my coffee yet…)
What is it with men wanting to a) move to Ruralville in the first place and b) burn it down once you are there?!
I mean, seriously.
I agree with Tiffany–I don’t get the whole burning down Ruralville thing. My husband used to do that too. I told him we moved to the woods and then he removed the woods. Then we moved to suburbs in Florida and he can no longer park his boat in the front yard. WIN!
I think you should film yourself working along side LJ and then market the videos as Lumberjill’s workouts. You know, Pioneer Woman with your own twist. You’d make a fortune! Then you could hire a butler to answer to door and chase away the Donna-seekers.