(Name that music artist)
Alright. It is about 2pm in the afternoon. I am sweaty. I need coffee. There is pee/poop water all over my bathroom and my entry. I need coffee. Mud is on every person’s boots. Playdough is in my carpet. I need coffee. I stepped in deer poo and Lucy poo. I want to take a bath. I need coffee. And my deck has been peed off of.
So. We have to make this update quick. As you can see, I’ve had A DAY.
1. The girls wrote Valentine’s letters to some friends and we had to hurry and get them all finished up because our mail comes around 9:30am.
2. I took Diana’s advice and downloaded an Adventures in Odyssey radio program about St. Valentine. I let the kids listen to it while they colored. It was a hit! Thanks, Diana!
3. As they were coloring, I made pizza dough. Not just any pizza dough. Weight Watchers pizza dough. Dang! I am fantastic.
4. As the dough was rising, or whatever it is that yeast products do, we made playdough.
Yes. My kids are cute. I am aware.
Do not be deceived. Blue is completely festive and appropriate for Valentine’s Day.
*sigh*
Handsome Dude.
Handsome Dude was the cause of most of my angst today. I am currently giving him the silent treatment. And he is napping. Which is the best thing that has happened to me all day!
I know. I am mean. But don’t judge me yet! Just finish this post and you shall see, you shall see.
Daisy Mae and her Christmas cookies made from blue Valentine’s Day playdough.
Me thinks my kids are confused on their holidays, no?
Little Dude.
He is pretty cute, in my humble opinion.
Please pardon this unneccessary interruption while I speak specifically to Sister Meagan:
Meagan. I am top dawg. Don’t be jealous of me.
Thank you.
5. Then we made individual heart shaped pizzas. May I remind you that I am fantastic?
6. But, alas. As I was creating these delightful culinary treats, Daisy Mae, aka The Informer, casually mentioned that Handsome Dude was peeing off of the back deck.
And, yes. Yes, he was. And he was missing and actually peeing all over the deck.
I would like to take this time to announce that we have lived here since June and this is the first time our deck has been peed off of. That I know of.
I think that’s pretty good.
7. So. I freaked out a bit and made Handsome Dude wash his hands. He was uber confused, seeing as how he”didn’t go to the BAF-ROOM!” I had to assure him that his hands still needed to be washed. And then we ate pizza.
8. It is like 50 degrees outside today! So we went outside. My goal was to walk around a bit and get some exercise while the kids played. But then the kids wandered too far, which scared me a bit. So I went running through the rolling hills.
This, my friends, is where the deer poo and Lucy poo on the shoes comes into play.
And then, I discovered the kids were actually playing in the driveway. Which was where they were supposed to be playing after all.
9. But they all got super muddy. And all their clothes will make up my fourth load of laundry for the day.
10. So. Then we had to go inside for naps.
Let us have a moment of silence for all the gloriousness that is naptime.
*thank you*
11. Handsome Dude had to go BAFROOM again. And he used all the toilet paper in the house and now my bathroom looks like this:
Things to Notice:
1. The toilet paper roll is empty. I assure you that all of the toilet paper that was on that roll, is now clogging the toilet.
2. Look at all those towels. Hello, 5th load of laundry for the day.
3. The toilet water is flush with the top of the toilet bowl. This leaves little room for error.
4. Please notice the plunger. We just bought that last week. And have used it three times in one week.
But, boy howdy!
How on earth did we last from June until now without a plunger?
That’s pretty dang-darn good, if you ask me!
5. Another thing to point out that isn’t really here nor there. Lately, Handsome Dude has had a few “odd” BAFROOM accidents. He goes, but when he comes out, his pants are wet in the front and the floor is wet by the door.
Hmmmm . . . .
I done figured it out. He doesn’t know exactly what to do when he has to pee while he is pushing out the poo.
Again. How has he made it this far in life without figuring that out? I am trying to gently inform him of what he needs to do with his *ahem* parts so he can have a successful combined bowel/urination elimination.
I fear he is beyond instruction.
6. And while I am on the topic of Handsome Dude and the BAFROOM, I have one more story for you (lucky you).
We were visiting my parents house and Handsome Dude was struggling with his elimation. Sister Meagan walked by and asked him if he needed he help.
Handsome Dude, in the spirit of Handsome Dude, yelled, “NO! GO WAY!” and shut the door on her.
So, she went on with her life.
Then she walked by again and heard him yell, “OW!!!”
So, Sister Meagan, opened the door and as soon as he saw her, he said, “I not say OW! Bye, Meagan!”
What a weird kid.
Let us again be so happy that he is sleeping.
I am slightly off-topic, aren’t I? Let’s focus back on today’s events shall we?
7. So. I got the boys to bed. My bathroom still looks like this:
My jeans are rolled up to my knees. On account of the sewage water that spilled out everywhere. I am sweaty from running around outside. My house is a mess with playdough everywhere. And crayons. And sewage water.
8. And, if you look outside, you can see LucyFur:
who has gotten into the room formerly known as the school room, pulled out a pink pillow, and is chewing on it.
Which is odd, since my kids aren’t allowed to play in the room formerly known as the school room.
And my kids always listen.
***
So. That’s been Valentine’s Day. I am thinking about throwing in the towel and just taking my cup of coffee to the bath.
And I just might.
Happy Monday!
PS-Sorry about the excessive use of the words pee and poo today. It won’t happen again.
PPS-Ok. It might happen again. Sorry.
maybe your husband will come home with a big surprise to make you forget all about your day =) and you totally stole those heart shaped pizzas from papa murphy!!
Just a reminder…Handsome Dude is having a Valentine’s Party on Wednesday at Awana.
Don’t forget about the 2 dozen cupcakes you signed up for………………………………………………………………………….Just Joking
Dear Taylor Maliblahblah,
This Valentine’s Day you and your adorable offspring, made me (almost) happy that I am single. LucyFur made me happy that my Chihuahua is very well behaved.
🙂
Sincerely,
Melissa
lol @ stacy…lucyfur is such a naughty puppy!! but she is so darn cute!! we aren’t doing anyhting for v-day either…just another day around these parts…we express our love EVERYDAY, we don’t need just one day a year!! 😉
I hope that Lumberjack realizes the need to make this Valentines Day something spectacular!!!
Your play dough and your pizzas are very impressive. Good work!
And the bathroom issues? I’m afraid they may not stop for a while. Boys and bathrooms just seem to cause things to… overfloweth. As in: my cup overfloweth. But different. Keep the plungers handy.
Happy Valentine’s Day to you, LJ, and those sweet little blessings.
Oh Lordy – I am cringing at your day. And totally wondering how much damage our two boys would create if they were allowed in the same state.
Just so ya know… the peeing while pooing explanation thing is totally a Daddy rule 🙂
These kinds of days just sort of happen, but it’s harder when they happen on a day when we are really trying to make the day something special. We were not so creative as you. Heart shaped sandwiches. Yep, special 🙂 Though Alijah really did think it was special to not have to eat His crust today 🙂
Oh, my! May Calgon take you away as soon as possible;away from all the pee and poo!
That’s not a good Taylor. Not at all. Well, except for that you were a rockin’ homeschool mom what with the heart shaped everything and the valentines and all.
Good Job.
Perhaps HD should look into becoming a plumber when he grows up.
Dangit. The first sentence should have said “not a good DAY Taylor.” Sorry about that.
Have you eaten all the chocolate in the house because just reading this makes me feel like I need to break into my secret stash here. I say put all the kids to bed, skip the coffee and have a big glass of wine sipped in a luxuriously hot bath. (The tub isn’t in the pee room is it?)
The pizzas are cute and creative!
Oh, and little boys eventually grow up. For the most part : )
Why WOULDN’T he be peeing off the back deck? That is how my mom potty trained my brother…”Take him outside and have him try to pee on a rock,” is what my dad suggested. And it worked!
I think peeing outside is the number one advantage of being a boy…
Just sayin’!
Hope LJ made up for all of the pee and poo in your life today!
I’m laughing so hard I have to go pee in the Bafroom! Sorry. 😉
It’s okay, Taylor. I arrived home, from work, to an atrocious mess. I texted hubby that I had not run screaming from the house but I was hyperventilating! His response? Sorry. He’s into one word texts too! Then I texted my daughter, the primary cause of said mess, and told her that if she ever leaves my house in that condition again she will arrive home to find everything she owns in the yard! I don’t feel repentant yet either!
Some days are like that! And I could really use a nap!
My last two posts have been all about poo. It is a popular topic around here I guess.
Your kids are cute, I am in agreement.
Taylor, this post was awesome birth control. It might have been too good though. I now want no “lovin” and it’s VD. My hubby might be disappointed because of you. 🙂
this is hilarious. May I point out to the previous commenter that talking about birth control and abbreviating Valentine’s Day to “VD” is not the wisest choice. I had to read the comment twice. It’s getting to be quite personal over here… BAH!HAHAHAH!
I don’t remember what I was going to say. I hope Marla gets the COW.
Mandy Moore sings Stupid Cupid in “The Princess Diaries”! I love that soundtrack.
Sorry about your sucky day.
Ah, you beat me to it! And now I have Stupid Cupid stuck in my head.
I am laughing because all of this happened at your house today, not mine!
and Dude. Let’s be glad your bathroom doesn’t have CARPET, like some foolish places I could name.
So glad you liked the Odyssey stories. Or “sanity savers” as they may also be called. 🙂
I have found a couple of stray, very tiny turds on two bathroom floors since we have moved into this new house. That sends me over the edge…I just don’t think I could have made it through your day. I think you are WonderWoman, for real.
Also…you need to invest in some muck boots.
I’m just curious…if the Lumberjack took a shower and santized the bathroom because of a small amount of urine on the toliet, what is he going to do now that the house has been sullied by handsome dude? 🙂
What a day! I hope you got your bath and your coffee and a surprise from lumberjack! 🙂 Happy Valentines Day!
I dread JDaniel finishing potty training. I see a plunger in my future.
OMW, I had an overflowing Valentine’s toilet, too!….after I rushed a third batch of rice krispie treats to the school in a panic because my son told me I hadn’t brought enough – only to find out I had brought enough and the teacher had no idea he had called me. Oy!
You have boys in your life and therefore you will have pee and poo in your life, although not necessarily in your toilet. You should also have industrialized plungers–one for every BAFROOM, plus a spare. Just speaking from experience.
P.S. You don’t want to know if it is the first time anyone’s peed off the deck. Don’t ask!
P.P.S. Just wait until HD and LD try synchronized peeing off the deck! Not that my boys have ever done anything like that!
P.P.P.S. Now my comment has almost as much “p” as your post. HA! : )
and you think you’re not crafty???? Wow! Homemade heart shaped Valentine pizzas! That officially makes you uber crafty creative mom blogger o the year! Impressive. Good luck this week.
It is official. I am just not going to potty train my son until he is 5. Diapers are just SO much easier than all that nonsense. 😉
But, alas, I fear it will not work, for the boy wants to “go like Daddy” already. HELP! I don’t know what to do with boys…girls, I got covered. This boy, not so much.