1) Goober Parent Update: Texting Edition
Once upon a time, my mom texted me.
I do not recall what her text was about. But I am sure it was riveting.
It always is.
Whatever it was, I responded with simply one word:
“Word.”
I like to feel as if I can get away communicating with words such as “word,” “sike,” “uber,” “realz,” “top dawg,” and “da bomb” . . . even if I am 29 years old.
I am cool like that.
My mother, however, is not 29. She is a tad older. And I would like to relay to you, my dear readers, the conversation that ensued between my father and my mother the night I responded to her text with “word.”
My mom’s factual name is Connie. My dad’s is Grant. I was not there, so this Goober Parent Update is pieced together from mother retelling me the story.
Mom: Grant! Come here.
Dad: What?!
Mom: Look at this?
Dad: What does it say?
Mom: I don’t know. I think it says “word?” Find me my reading glasses.
Dad: Who’s this from?
Mom: Taylor.
Dad: Taylor?
Mom: Your daughter.
Dad: I know she’s my daughter. Why is she saying “word?”
Mom: I don’t know. Is she asking me for a word?
Dad: Is she playing a game?
Mom: Maybe she just needs a random word?
Dad: Well, she’s not being clear. I say you ignore it.
Mom: Well, that might be rude.
Dad: Well. If it is important, she can call.
Mom: Why would she text “word?”
Dad: She’s not being clear.
Mom: You’re right. I’m just going to ignore her. She needs to explain herself better.
***
And thus, my parents shunned me that night.
And I wasn’t even needing anything.
I was just trying to say word to my mother.
2) Another Goober Parent Update for you.
The other day, my mom called home and my dad answered. And he was super cranky.
Why?
No one knows.
Mom: Grant! Why are you so cranky?
Dad: Well. I thought you were Taylor.
****
Say, what?
Just for that, DAD, I am going to post this ever-popular photo of you trying to listen to the ITunes.
You should not be cranky around me. I am a delight.
Word.
3) I decided, against my better judgement, to play Wii Fit with my girls. We got on the boards and did our fitness tests. When it was my turn, the Wii happily announced that I had a normal BMI.
Sweet Pea: Mom! Wow! Good job! You aren’t overweight! I am so proud of you!
Hmmm . . .
4) I almost hit an owl the other night.
I am not kidding, nor am I exaggerating. And I thought I was going to die.
It had a massive wingspan.
Feel bad for me. It was much scarier than it sounds.
Peace out, dawgs.
I had to pee before I read this post. Big mistake. It was almost a code yellow over here. Freaking killing me Taylor.
I have one word for your post, hilarious dawg.
I have one word for your post, hillarious dawg.
Haha! Classic. Reminds me of the time my friend ask my husband “Hey, what’s up?” and he replied, “Not much, ya heard?” and she was like, “No, heard what?!” Bahahaha!
Word to your mother?!? I’m going to wet myself I’m laughing so hard.
And I hear you on the hitting the birds thing, a pheasant and my grand am had a duel on the road on the way to school back in the day. My grand am’s windshield was the casualty.
Boo low flying birds.
I can totally see your mom sitting there stumped over that! Hilarious! Thanks for the laughs 🙂
“You should not be cranky around me. I am a delight.
Word.”
you are correct. you ARE a delight. and freakin’ hilarious. which is clearly genetic. how cute are they??!!
Back in college I used to live next to a graveyard and would run through said graveyard at dusk, because it was quite and pretty and lead me out to great open pretty road so run to my hearts content. Anyway, one night I was minding my own business running through the graveyard and this thing came swooping out of the trees! It was an owl and I swear to you that it’s wing span was as tall as me, scared poo (not literally) out of me. It swooped my head! Later I realized that there was a family of 3 owls that lived there. I was more cautious when running in the graveyard after that. 🙂
Oh I can so relate. I recently emailed “word” back to my boss one day and he had no idea what I was talking about. I chuckled while I tried to explain it to him. Some people just need a little more Ice, Ice Baby in their lives! What ever happened to him anyway?
Try “booyah!” next time with her. 🙂 I think your parents are great.
Ha! You are stinking hilarious my friend! The Barbie Pirate was missed at the retreat.
I am 51 and I said “word” to my daughter just the other day. She died. Oh and I posted on my blog about my hairstylist daughter and added a video… Whip my hair… they were shocked I knew the song…what the… I told them I watch SNL, and read People magazine folks. I am wicked cool and awesome like that. Boom!
Oh, and Heather, Ice has a home renovation show on cable. His stint with Dr. Drew must have stuck.
Thanks for the laugh out loud this morning. I really needed it! Peace out, dawg!
Word!
Dazzled!
and you
da bomb and top dawg!!
Dig me?
Tell your dad to wear the laptop on his head like earphones when listening to his ITunes. Maybe you could even fashoin some cute little neck strap for him.
Would you be so free in discussing them on your blog if they were more hip and actually knew how to find it on the internet? If so, I hope they never get with it because I love these posts!
Oh my, I laughed out loud at this. You know what’s more fun than dropping those kinds of bombs on parents who don’t get it? Being way 40 something and dropping them on your grown kids. Talk about eyerolls and groans. My kids recently had me say “true dat” to them the other day and almost died. Years ago, I said “That’s off the chain” and again, I got eyerolls. I love it! Your parents crack me up.
So glad you didn’t hit the owl. A college boyfriend borrowed my car once, a smokin’ hot 72 VW Super Beetle mind you, and hit a buzzard. Windshield FAIL. It was demolished. It looked like he’d hit a person. Oh no, maybe it was a person and he just told me it was a buzzard????? But then the front of the car would be messed up too, right? He did not have any money to replace it. Thank goodness for parents who paid for my car insurance. Thanks for the laugh this morning! Have a great day!
Word. Cause that’s how you roll.
Too funny. I needed to laugh. This pretty much did it! Thanks!
Mom: Grant! Why are you so cranky?
Dad: Well. I thought you were Taylor.
****
Say, what?
I’m rip snorting laughing here at 7 in the morning!
that was totally the funniest part!
Word to your Connie.
It’s possible we’ve had similar conversations in our house. I’m the ‘Connie’ : ) Does she occasionally send you blank texts? Ask my girls how many blank texts I’ve sent them…its annoying even to me.
fyi-anytime…I’m serious…the door is always open and I never say no to NYC.
I love your dad. Word! 😉 How does he do with holla???
Oh, Taylor, I forgot to tell you yesterday in Trader Joe’s I saw a mom with four very young children trying to grocery shop. Actually I heard her first clear across the store yelling at her oldest probably all of four to stop using the mini kids shopping cart like a scooter. And then and then…..an elderly lady said in a booming voice “Goodness, are all THEESE your’s? How old are they?” Blah blah blah. Meanwhile, the four year old was still careeing circles around the produce idle with the mini kids shopping cart, the baby was in the carseat basket gizmo, another in the main shopping cart and another walking. I just wanted to yell “For Pete’s sake woman, let her shop in peace. Haven’t you ever read Lumberjack’s Wife?”
Thank you, Taylor! I just spent the last half hour reading about Wisconsin’s travails and I needed a good mindless laugh!
This reminds me of an Ice, Ice Baby story that I must share:
I say to my husband, “This survey wants to know my favorite song. How can I possibly pick one song?”
He says, “I don’t know. I think your favorite song is the one that when it comes on the radio you just HAVE to sing along.”
I replied, “Well, then that means everyone’s favorite song is “Ice Ice Baby.”
He laughed and said he may have to think more about his theory.
Word to your mother.
You never fail to crack me up! Word to your mother, indeed!
Dear Taylor,
You are too funny, dawg. 🙂
I, too, have come in close range of an owl before, except I was on the back of a 4-wheeler. It IS super scary. Unless you’ve experienced it, you just can’t imagine!
Dude!
Hit an owl? How does one hit an owl? Please expand, I just know there is a story there!
Word…
I am seriously dying over here. HILARIOUS!
Hey I can tell you from experience that those owl sightings are dang scary!! They hang around our homestead and they are absolutely humungous!! Makes me think of those weird creatures in Frank Peretti’s books!
And I guess I am just OLD. I can text with the best of them, but if my daughter texted me “word”, I would likely have the same conversation with my old man…..yep we is old!
*bossy big sister warning*
I will not be offended if you remove this after you read it.
OK.
Owl, texting, goober folks, funny.
Item of true importance: your young daughters know you are not fat. Everyone who has ever seen you (in real life or cyber style) knows you are not fat. It is good to strive for a healthy lifestyle and as parents we should model that. (way to go with the wii fit!) However. I firmly believe (and have seen this bear out so many times) that we moms should not put ourselves down in front of our kids. If they see you, a pretty, THIN mom whom they know to be the best mom in the whole wide world regarding herself negatively as fat, how will they see themselves and their normal body size? We have so much influence over our little ones. Please be careful with the words you use about yourself.
With love,
bossy big sister of the world (just ask mindylou)
Ha! Just be happy your mom knows what a text is. 😉
Pore ma – so insulated. Even I got it when my son ended calls with the word “Late” because his age group is so uber busy it takes too much time to say Later, Dude. But I’m waaaaay proud and amused that you texted her – “Word”. That rocks.
This is the first time I have ever been on your blog, I got routed here from Kelly’s Korner, well first time I was ever there too, lol. So glad I came over, I have been rolling laughing at your stories. My husband thinks I am nuts laughing in the bedroom all by myself. I have a grown son and when I say words that I used to say as a teenager I get an eye roll and a grow up mom from him lol. Also had so much fun reading comments you received, a lot of hilarious people out there. I was in the car with my best friend and her husband when a big bird committed suicide by diving into the grill of their car. Her husband and I thought it was the funniest thing we had ever seen, my friend on the other hand cried her eyes out. Of course she was 8 months pregnant so maybe it was traumatic for her lol. Will definitely be following your blog from now on!
Taylor, your parents are precious. I’m glad that you linked to this particular post this morning on your guest appearance. I hadn’t read this one yet. You are amazingly awesome. Oh, and try the words ill or sick with your parents. I have an older friend (only 7-8 years older than myself) who heard her daughter and I (because I’m an amazingly hip 36 year old) using the word sick to describe a motorcycle. She promptly whipped her head around and asked, “oh, is that poor boy puking?” Seriously. I thought I was going to wet my pants. Peace out yo.