So, today was kind of blah.
I don’t feel so great, and I ain’t gonna lie, I’m not good at hiding that.
When I am sick, I find things irksome.
And poor Daisy Mae. She irked me.
You see, dear readers, we were reviewing her math lesson. Can you guess what “letter” Daisy Mae had in place for each and every one of her “9’s?”
Yes. That’s right. Her page was littered with “P’s.”
Irksome.
So, as I was pointing this mistake out, I noticed she had massive amounts of blue ink all over her hands.
Me: Did you write on yourself?
DM (short for Daisy Mae . . . keep up, people!): Yes.
Me: When did you do this?
DM: Last night in the car.
Me: Why?
DM: Because I was bored.
Me: You cannot write on yourself life that!
DM: Why?
Me: Because . . . because . . . you can’t! You’ll get ink poisoning! Now go change all your “P’s” to “9’s.”
Yes. I was cranky. No. I have no idea if a person would actually get this “ink poisioning” or not. But the threat sounded like a good idea at the time.
So then she wouldn’t stop crying all morning long.
And foolishly, I thought it was because she felt remorseful about WRITING HER “9’S” AS “P’S” EVERY SINGLE DAY OF HER LIFE.
But, no.
It would seem that six year old girls fixate on certain words their loving, brilliant mothers throw at them.
Words, such as, “POISON.”
So, I had to assure her for the P0th (get it? do you get it?) time that she would not surely die from the ink on her hands.
It was an epic moment in my homeschooling career.
Here is photographic evidence of her ink hand, about 24 hours after she inked herself.
Now, here is another example of irksome things in life:
A) I took this picture with my handy-dandy camera phone.
B) I had to email this picture to my email account.
C) Then I had to download the photo to the hard drive on my computer.
It is at this point in the post that my father is surely befuddled.
D) Next, I had to upload the photo to my blog.
E) But first, I had to try to remember where on earth I had saved this photo.
F) Oddly enough, I had saved it in a file called “Nose.” Are not my organization skills to be envied?
G) I wait 2.7 years for this photo to upload to my blog.
H) I am sure you can see how it was worth the wait, seeing as how you can hardly see the ink on her hand.
I) And you are probably wondering why they are holding a ziplock bag full of fake money with the number “300” on it?
J) And you are surely curious as to why the photo is sideways.
K) I tried NUMEROUS times to get it right. NUMEROUS.
L) I am irked again and I give up and I don’t care. I have wasted enough of my life on this mediocre photo.
M) You might also notice that Daisy Mae’s face is shiny. This is because she loves to lather her face in vasoline. It is part of her beauty regimine. Feel free to steal it. She is kind of cute.
N) My tummy hurts. And my throat. And my head.
O) I put my kids to bed an hour ago and I just saw a flash of what suspiciously resembles Handsome Dude running around the living room.
P) Irksome.
***
Speaking of Handsome Dude . . .
Right after his bath today, he was all giggly and whiny all at the same time. He looked at me all cross-eyed and said:
“Look! Two mommies! I see two mommies!”
Yikes!
So, I patched his eye for an hour and googled what this double vision phenomenon could mean and now I am terrified.
So I ate three chocolate chip cookies and decided he isn’t naughty at all.
He is, in fact, precious.
***
I wish my husband could bring me home ice cream for my sore throat. But ice cream cannot survive the trip from the big city to Ruralville.
Such sadness.
***
I just thought of another irksome tragedy!
I have to do that bothersome Fat Tuesday tomorrow and I didn’t lose any weight.
Again.
Can we skip it?
***
Alright. I am going to log off and go see if I can find some hot cocoa to cheer me up.
Happy Monday Night!
YAY! You poor, hilarious thing! I hope you feel better.
Hope tomorrow goes better and you feel better soon. What is your favorite ice cream?
i don’t feel so good myself…but a little blue ink, some vaseline, and 300 Godly dollars made me feel a little better =o)
Tomorrow is another day….feel better… A cup of tea is good for an achy throat.
If you hold a shoe top side up, it is a shoe. If you turn it over, it’s a shoe. From its backend, still a shoe! And so forth. Books and lamps and cars and dogs and just about everything else on the planet follows this same pattern. b, d, p, 9, and 6, unfortunately, break this rule of holding their identities despite their orientation in space… if that helps at all. 🙂 I was always perplexed about why this is such a tricky issue until a school psychologist pointed it out to me recently. Made so much sense when put that way. And almost all kids outgrow it by the middle of elementary school! Keep hope!
If you don’t feel good, skip it. We’ll understand!
Are you saying you are never able to have ice cream at your house?! Because that, on top of the deer, and the 62 degrees, and the sewage in your backyard…well, I’d be outta there.
But my husband loves ice cream, so even though he loves the country I don’t think he’d move us to any kind of Ruralville.
I do hope you feel better soon. It stinks to be sick.
Deer on your walls, not the deer outside. They are just fine. I think.
Sorry you are sick. Hope you feel better soon. Here’s a tip for transporting food from the store to a far away home. Get a cooler for your car. Voila – problem solved. Sometimes ice cream is a necessity.
Oh, Sweetie.
(as the mother of more children than you I can say that. although I hate it when any peer should dare to address me thus. perhaps I am glad hundreds of miles insulate me from your irksomeness) 🙂
-bossy big sister alert-
Bath.
Tea (or just hot water) with honey and fresh lemon. good for organs as well as throat.
skip the ‘P9s’ tomorrow. (yes, the Poth time = wee clever)
Host school from your bed and require attire to be pajamas. Students must read to you (your throat hurts) and to precious/naughty boys
Let everyone patch their eye for the required time period. sy9athetic togetherness
*sigh*
I think you need to rest.
Oh no way… just NO WAY.
Itty Bit totally beat y’all to the Two Mommies thing… see:
http://www.onceuponamiracle.com/2010/03/glamour-shots-and-don-do-two-mommies.html
and that was a year ago. And now I must suffer the shame of being the Mommy Who Didn’t Realize Her Son Had Vision Problems.
*sigh*
At least he didn’t have ink poisoning, no? hee!
A cooler that plugs into the lighter in your car/truck/van is definitely an essential to survive Ruralville.
My 7yr old DD still does backwards 3s and 5s. Luckily I can let her teacher deal with it 🙂
Perhaps you could work a P90X infomercial into the math lesson. Watching exercise infomercials counts as exercise, right?
I am irked today. I am irked because I started a stupid diet. But good news! I linked to your Fat Tuesday post which is sure to appear soon. We shall be partners in dieting and irkedness.
I have a feeling things will look brighter around the end of the week.. when Bimlissa comes to visit
Taylor, This is the top guy in the worth for your son’s eye. Seriously. He fixed my friend’s son’s eye after a surgery that didn’t work. I’m not sure if he still does surgery but his clinic is remarkable. They are very kid friendly and don’t scare them at all. It’s worth the travel. You may want to get Daisy Mae’s checked as well, or at least ask if they test for backward letters and numbers.
http://www.childrenseyefoundation.org/Parks-Medal/Honored-Recipients/Silver/Arthur-Jampolsky,-M-D-.aspx
I, too, was feeling irksome the last couple of days…but the sun is shining today and I’m much better! Hope you are too!
I have that happen with photos all the time. I hit print screen, dump them in Picasa and rotate them. Yes, it is a pain. Yes, it is more to post them sideways.
I can’t imagine not being able to buy ice cream.
You do realize that you ended your list on P, right?
Daisy Mae got to you, eh?
Of course she ended her list on a P! That’s humor, people!
And we lived 26 miles from the nearest town. And that was a one stop light town. We lived 4 hours from any sort of town like you talk about moving from. I can assure you that ice cream will survive. However, you may want to look into Schwann’s. They are wonderful for getting frozen goods directly to your door. They have a website, and you can order your stuff online.
Rubbing alcohol removes ink instantly. And wipes out any poisons that may be inadvertently absorbed.
Feel better soon, Taylor.
Hope you feel better soon!