I was so busy posting about our “story” that I haven’t told you all what has been happening this week.
Let me sum this week up for you:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Little Dude had the world’s worst stomach bug.
It lasted from Sunday-Thursday.
You might notice in each photo, dude had a glass with him. He insisted on throwing up in a cup.
I really appreciated that about the sick little fellow. I found it quite thoughtful of him.
As you may or may not know, we are leaving tomorrow morning at 6am to head to the land where Jason and Amy dwell to attend their wedding festivities.
There are many things to do in preparation for this momentous occasion. The boys were in dire need of haircuts.
And I know not how to cut hair.
My girls, bless their hearts, decided to each cut a chunk of their hair right snack in the middle of their foreheads.
?
Should not we be past the haircutting stage? Of course they choose this, the week that they shall be flower girls, to perform the haircuts.
So, on Thursday, I planned to head to get haircuts and take Lucy to our friends.
And now, dear readers, I would like to present to you:
The Tragedy that was Thursday
By Taylor Maliblahblah
Thursday started off full of promise and hope. I was able to pack all of the childrens’ clothing for our upcoming road trip. I even had time to bake some cookies for the poor souls who were taking Lucy in.
The cookies turned out mediocre at best. However, they were made with love and that is all that matters.
Little Dude had not thrown up all day. He was, however, quite lethargic, so I put him down for a nap a little early.
I decided I should give Lucy a bath. It’s the least I can do for the poor souls watching her who have nothing to comfort them but mediocre cookies.
So, I haul all 70 pounds of her into the bathtub.
And wouldn’t you know it, she jumped out, full of soap and everything, and I had to chase her down? It was something out of a Beethoven movie, I kid you not.
I got her all spiffed up and started to clean the tub. I looked at the time and made my usual departure announcement:
“Ah! We are late! We need to be driving out of here in 10 minutes! Go potty! I don’t care if you don’t need to! Go! Go! Where are your socks? Go potty! Wash your hands! Your shoes are on the wrong feet! Did you go potty?”
Remember my lethargic Little Dude?
He was still asleep.
So, I ran downstairs to fetch him. When I opened the door, I was greeted by a most offensive odor.
Little Dude had diahrrea. Everywhere. And he was sound asleep in his own filth.
I never knew I could move so swiftly, without a single care for the stink that was upon me. My hands were covered in it. But I kept pressing on.
I bathed Little Dude, bleached the tub, and got all his bedding in the bathtub and we were only 10 minutes late.
Holla, Taylor.
Holla.
Lucy was a tiddly-bit naughty for the car ride.
LucyFur.
She would jump from the way back, to the girls’ row, to the boys’ row, and back again.
This is not permissble when one is navigating the highways and the freeways and such.
Plus, she ate Handsome Dude’s crackers.
Handsome Dude was not pleased.
It was a horrible car ride.
And I am hoping the poor souls who currently have her will enjoy the mediocre cookies so much that they will ask to have LucyFur for forever and ever. Amen.
After we dropped Lucy off (darn) we had to rush to the optical place to get Handsome Dude’s new lenses in.
Is it sad that I am on a first name basis with the peeps that repair my son’s glasses?
And I know of their family lives?
And I send them Christmas cards?
The new lenses that Handsome Dude got were much stronger than he has ever had. I will never forget how he looked at me the moment he put them on.
His eyes got all big and he smiled:
“Mom! Everything is so wiggly!”
Wiggly?
Next up were haircuts. The boys each got a cut. The girls needed to get bangs from their scissor-happy moment. And I needed a bang trim.
I have the world’s most patient hairdresser.
I even talked her into waxing my eyebrows.
Clearly, I do not have time to maintain them myself.
It was a first for her: waxing someone’s eyebrows while all 4 of her children stood by and watched, horrified.
I know you are all probably aghast that I attempted this.
But its a wedding people!
I can’t look like that homeschooling mom from Ruralville!
***
So that was Thursday.
And this is Friday.
And right before bed, Handsome Dude broke his new glasses, and therefore he will be cross-eyed for the entire weekend.
Fantastic.
But at least my eyebrows are well-maintained.
My boys are ring bearers. My girls are flower girls. David is a groomsman.
And I shall be performing random hand checks on my boys throughout the ceremony.
Wish me luck!
I will try to post updates from this weekend on The Facebook.
So, if you’d like, you can like me on The Facebook.
Or not.
The choice is yours.
Happy Weekend!
PS- I took a walk around my property this week and I saw a snake! A SNAKE!
PPS-I took it as a sign that I should never, ever exercise.
Yes I know you are so busy living you may not read this but I have to say a very large and loving and respectful Thank you for journalling. When I read your story of your own life and how you take a great point of view and you don’t take your life too seriously way down deep, it is truly inspiring. I am a WOHM of 5 children and we homeschool. This is my first time being away from them for such a long time and you connect me to my life while in the world of office BS and cubicle drama. You help me see what sort of life I live from the outside. I laugh almost every time I read your posts because I KNOW what you are doing and you are in love with Life. While times get tough, you never really hate it. It seems that you in fact LOVE it and while it drives you absolutely mad and has almost taken you out of your ego needs, you would do it all the same if you had to do it again. I tell people what happens at home and they just don’t get it. You really love your husband and all those kids and what they have brought you to, inside for your soul.
Any way, Thank you. Please forgive me. It is 12:30 AM and the 2 yr old just went to bed 15 mintues ago and I have had a little wine! Rock on!!
Stacey
I read and appreciate every comment. 🙂 Thank you!
Taylor! I cannot believe your days. You have an amazing gift, though, to be able to tell your story in a way that makes it all sound so funny. There will be a movie about you guys one day. It will be called The Lumberjack’s (yes, I mean for the apostrophe to be where it is) or Ruralville. Much like Smallville, including the superpowers.
Hey! Maybe in the movie Handsome Dude will develop super vision, and never need his glasses again! Awesome!
Aren’t you so glad that LucyFur was taken out of your house?! Can you even imagine if she were there alone with that diarrhea bedding?! Praying for no sickness this weekend!! Seriously, I am!
have a good time!!! man, your days are ALWAYS so eventful, i don’t know how you do it!! i would be in the loony bin by now, for realz!!
I am so sorry for your thursday. Good thing you have a sense of humor. And mediocre cookies.
You are my hero. For reals.
I’m not just saying that.
I think you should write a parenting survival book. Include mediocre cookie recipes of course.
Stomach bug. Haircuts. Travel. Wedding. Lucyfur. Newly broken glasses.
That is just so much for one week.
My husband has just asked, “are you laughing or crying?”
Yes.
May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you.
Also, Silpat is the cure for mediocre cookies.
How far do you have to drive for the wedding? Hope Little Dude is feeling much better today. When my sister in law got married we drove 12 hours with my youngest (who was four at the time) puking every hour on the hour. It was quite the car ride. Ugh. This same child cut her hair when she was in the first grade. While in school. During math class. The teacher and I had a talk later : )
Enjoy the wedding!
Have a great time at the wedding. Pawn your children off onto loving relatives and have a glass of wine (or three). You deserve it.
You need a couple less children or a couple more hands.
And you definitely need a drink.
My 18 year old brother made it to the big State Track Meet in three events last week. He came down with this same sickness the day he had to ride 360 miles in a school bus. That night he pooed himself ON A SCHOOL TRIP. Can you imagine?! The next day he ran and did pretty good.
I thought you might appreciate that story.
Just walk around outside until you find something to run from and then do that. I think that counts as exercise. And you can always count on your “lake” as something to run from, if the snakes and other wildlife should fail you. (Also, I never, EVER spell exercise right the first time. I take this as a sign I should never ever exercise.)
Well…if you haven’t read my blog about dogs and snakes lately, stop by and check out the best dog in the world. Lucyfur may just earn her keep afterall, if you take her on your walks with you.
As for hair cuts…our children were in sinc this week. My Twinkie Princesses cut not only their own hair, but their poor brother’s hair as well. He now looks rather like your little Dude did when the LJ got finished with the clippers…for that was the only thing I could do to clean up what his sisters had done to him!
Perhaps you have already tried this, but don’t they make elastic straps that hold children’s glasses on their heads? Maybe that would cut down on the glasses carnage.
Have a blessed weekend!
I’m enjoying yet another eventful day at the Lumber household. Surely Handsome dude’s glasses could be made of cast iron? 🙂
I cannot believe he broke them, AGAIN. Seriously? Oh my. Do they sell eye glass insurance? I sure hope so, for your sake. Have you counted how many times they have been broken or lost? I would love to know the answer to that question. I will join the prayers for no other sickness for your family this weekend and safe travels.
Can’t wait to hear about the wedding and the cuteness of your kiddos all dressed up.
What a week! So glad you were able to get the haircuts!
I am still chuckling that you call it “the way back” of the car. My little one calls it that too. Of course. There’s the front, the back and the way back. 🙂