A Thursday List.
1. I missed a golden opportunity this week. Golden, I tell you. UPS had delivered a package to us that did not belong to us.
Fun Fact: I have the world’s friendliest UPS man. He visits with the kids, asks me how homeschooling is going, and even feigns to enjoy Lucy jumping all over him.
I think it is because we live in the country, now. My UPS man when I lived in town never spoke to me once.
There is like a country code out here. You seem someone, you wave. Someone comes to your door, you are nice. It’s the rules.
But that is neither here nor there.
2. I walked down the road and could not find the house that matched the address. So I had to call a 1-800 number.
My children cowered in fear as I looked like an insane-crazy person shouting “Agent! Agent! Representative! Anyone!” at the darn automated voice system.
In the end, UPS called the rightful owner and rightful owner told them he would just take a stroll down yonder country road and pick the package up from me.
3. And this, dear friends, is where I missed my golden opportunity. We haven’t met many of the folks that live in these here parts.
And this man was nice.
He visited with all the children. He even understood what Little Dude said without need of me as an interpreter.
Apparently he and his wife are retired school teachers. And they miss being around children. And they love it when they hear the sounds of our children playing outside.
*!*
Why did I not ask him if he wanted to just teach my children? Problem solved!
Win, win, win!
(Name that TV show)
4. Has anyone ever noticed that my lists don’t make any sense? I just start a new number whenever I feel like it. This blog sure is top notch.
5. Speaking of “top notch blogging,” I was picking my girls up from piano yesterday. The lovely teacher asked my boys if they were feeling any better from their illnesses as of late. Daisy Mae informed her that they were fine except they still had diahrrea.
Which was not true. But that is not the point.
The teacher looked shocked and said, “Wow! Well, that was definitely more information than I needed to hear!”
Which got me thinking . . . my blog is basically an entire collection of things people probably don’t want to hear.
I have talked about diarrhea so much as of late, that I don’t even need to check how to spell the word diarrhea anymore.
And that is a pretty hard word to spell, admit it, dear readers.
6. I have discovered why I will always have a flabby belly. It is my lot in life and I shall not ever be able to change it.
It will forever be a thorn in my side, my burden to bear.
Allow me to explain:
I wrote about this a long time ago, but do you remember when I started using that weighted hula hoop?
And I messed up my neck really bad because I was apparently holding my neck all special-like while hula-hooping it up?
Well. My new sister-in-law, Holly, is one of those “exercising” types. Yes. She likes to sweat and push herself and abstain from scores and scores of peanut M&M’s.
Yes. She is one of those people.
So I pleaded with her to help me. And she sent me a pilates DVD.
And guess what?
MY NECK HURTS . . . REALLY, REALLY BAD.
Apparently my neck is my own worst enemy and will never allow me to adequately do a decent abdominal calisthenic. Therefore, I shall always have a muffin top.
Darn neck.
8. If you would be so kind as to vote for me in this here contest, I would be much obliged.
I am currently number 6!
Woo hoo!
Thank you, kindly. I really appreciate it.
Happy Thursday!
You must go and visit the teacher couple! 🙂 😉
I voted for you. I’m just glad not to see your blog in that list of most controversial Blogs.” I guess you’d have to change the name to The Lumberjack’s Other Wife or something to qualify.
😉
Oops. You can delete this one. I was trying to change a typo but apparently didn’t catch it fast enough!
I voted for you. I’m just glad not to see your blog in that list of most controversial blogs. I guess you’d have to change the name to The Lumberjack’s Other Wife or something to qualify.
😉
see, and here i thought i was the only one!! i am destined to not only have a muffin top, but be a fat cow my entire life because i gave myself a concussion two months ago, rendering myself no longer able to function…AT.ALL. (ok, not at.all…i got caught up in the moment)…but not able to exercise much AT.ALL!!!
I have the neck issue too and the first couple weeks of doing Pilates it was quite sore but now it feels great. Maybe I just had weak neck muscles in addition to weak ab muscles? Maybe Pilates strengthened them? I do not know. I do, however, when doing any of the exercises lying on my side, rest my head on my outstretched arm instead of propping it up.
I have neck issues too. I don’t know if they are responsible for my muffin top but I’m going to use that from now on. It sounds better than blaming it on kids I birthed 20 years ago.
Blaming the stomach on the neck–why didn’t I think of that! Can I blame my butt on my back? : )
I think that what we read in a blog versus what we discuss in real life are vastly different. For instance, I would never tell my friends that I “pose” for my husband to make him feel better about manual labor, but I’ve shared it countless times on my blog!
Taylor, I just awarded you the “Versatile Blogger” award, congratulations!! 🙂 Come visit my blog to claim it. Or don’t. That’s up to you. But I hope you do. Cause you are awesome.
That is all.
LJW.
One of the many reasons you have such a devoted following of intelligent, witty, wise and wonderful peeps is that you do not use your bloggin’ pedestal to continually proclaim ‘deep thoughts’. Random numbering and quick topic changes are fantastic!
I would far rather share my limited screen time with a sane person who has a normal (from my perspective) life than with one who’s eloquent language leaves me feeling like my life of little children, school books and diapers is just not enough. When you do provide your ‘deep thoughts’ they are of the encouraging and/or very honest variety. Many thanks.
You MUST, MUST, MUST do the neighborly thing and invite this nice couple to dinner! Maybe even take out the big guns and make them one of your pies with the special berries! What ever it takes:)
I would suggest taking advantage of the very next golden opportunity to ask that sweet retired school teacher neighbor man and his wife if they could stay with your darling well behaved sweet sound making children for just a teensy weensy little minute whilst you run a uber quick errand, then high tail it for the big city. 🙂 As a favor to them. Since they miss being around children. Of course, these days, I guess you would have to do a criminal background check and all that, but it sounds like you were describing nice folks, not serial killers. In any case, it sounds like you have discovered some neighborly neighbors.
And yes, in the country, our UPS man is our friend. We give him a Christmas gift. 🙂
I keep trying to eat my own muffin top, but my neck hurts too much to reach it.
You’re in 4th now, Taylor! Movin’ on up …. (Name THAT TV show!)
Aren’t all blogs just a collection of information no one wants to hear? I think mine is, too.
I’m off to vote for you.
As a once-avid gym-goer (I had abs you could bounce quarters off of…way back when), I can tell you that the problem is that you are NOT supposed to use your neck to pull yourself up with. THAT is why your neck hurts when you do the Pilates exercises, and it is a common mistake.
Darling, you are supposed to work your abs slowly, strengthening them over time, so that as you tighten them, they pull you up into a “crunch” position…without straining your neck.
I know this because, for years, I had the same problem and thought that I, too, could not have abs of steel.
Why don’t you leave the children with the Lumberjack, come down to Florida (where we could partake of Pina Coladas while looking at the beautiful beach in the world…I kid you not), and I’ll be your personal trainer for a day.
🙂
And no, I am not some weird stalker dude. I am simply a 41 year old woman who’s been there and done that. 🙂
What great fun to meet a neighbor! Maybe there will be more package mix-ups.
If you have tried to contact someone on recording voice mail hell, then next time call back and press no buttons. It will then think you have a rotary phone and they’ll answer. I do it all the time.