I would like to introduce you to new segment on this here blog called:
The Same Thing Happens Every Morning.
You may, perhaps, recall that I told you my Handsome Dude is a ravenous beast these days?
The boy wakes up, runs right past me, and begins to pull out everything he will be requiring to satisfy his hunger.
Chocolate milk, cheerios with regular milk, and two slices of toast with peanut butter and jam.
He’s FOUR.
(Yes. That would be homemade jam in the above photo.)
(Don’t pretend you aren’t impressed.)
Soon after Handsome Dude begins his feast, Little Dude will walk up the stairs. I know he is coming because I hear his creepy bunny voice.
Sweet Pea has taught him how to talk in this strange, high-pitched voice. This voice cannot be explained adequately with words. Just know it is uber weird.
Every morning, Little Dude makes it up with his entourage of stuffed bunnies and puppies that he has stolen from his siblings.
The puppies and bunnies are his bosom friends and they must go everywhere with him.
I’m sure that is healthy for a homeschooling child who lives in the middle of nowhere.
At this point in the morning, the girls are still asleep. They have an alarm, of which they set. Yet, they never emerge from the basement at the appropriate time.
Why? Well, according to Sweet Pea, when the alarm goes off, she simply does not feel like waking up, so she just turns it off and goes back to sleep.
She’s EIGHT!
Aren’t we too young for this nonsense and sass?
Once I wake up the girls, it will take them much stretching and groaning to actually get out of their beds.
Attention all Mother’s of Newborns who are certain they will never sleep through the night again:
I often wondered if these two girls would ever sleep through the night.
Take heart!
Eventually, your children will refuse to wake up! Ah, what a strange, twist of events.
But that is neither here, nor there.
Daisy Mae will walk up the stairs. Every morning, she will ask me if she can watch TV. Every morning, I tell her no. Every morning, she asks me why. Every morning I tell her it is because we have to hurry and get ready so we can start school.
And every morning, she is shocked.
“We are doing school today?”
Sweet Pea will have fallen asleep again. I put on my mean-mom pants and go and tell her that I shall NOT be coming down again and she WILL be waking up.
Sweet Pea does not try to watch a show or do anything leisurely. She knows she is late, because she is late every morning. So, every morning, after about three wake-ups, she will stumble right into the shower.
Where she will stand for 10 minutes and stare while the water pours over her.
Once she gets out of the shower, she yells for someone to please get her a towel. And every morning, I tell her no. Because every morning, she forgets to grab a towel.
And I firmly believe that I should raise this child in such a manner that she is responsible to remember that she will be needing a towel after the shower.
She will don the towel. Then she will stand in the bathroom with the towel around her shoulders, shivering as water drops from her nose to the ground.
Me: Go get dressed.
Sweet Pea: But I am cold.
Me: I know. Dry off better.
Sweet Pea: But I am cold.
Me: If you get clothes on, you will be warmer.
Sweet Pea: But I am cold.
Now, it is Daisy Mae’s turn for a shower. Daisy Mae will first spend 10 minutes “brushing” out her tangles before getting in the shower.
And when I say “brushing,” of course I mean singing into the brush while admiring her beauty in the mirror.
Daisy Mae will also take too long in the shower.
That child can spend 10 minutes in the shower, lather with shampoo, and forget to rinse. She will then get out of the shower and be shocked when I inform her that her hair is soapy and she forgot to take out all 9 hair accessories from the day before.
Me: When you were washing your hair, didn’t you feel the hair clips?
Daisy Mae: I don’t know.
Me: Did you know that you forgot to rinse out the soap?
Daisy Mae: I knew I was forgetting something!
And she is all dimples and grins as she jumps back into the shower to try again.
Sweet Pea, the aforementioned frozen child, will come upstairs wearing a summer dress that is absolutely not appropriate for our 60 degree weather.
Because everyone knows that when you are already super cold from your shower, you should throw on a light, breezy summer dress.
All this time, the boys will have finished breakfast, bathed, played with their trucks, fought over the trucks, and informed me that they are hungry yet again.
And that, dear readers, is why I look like I am turning 30 in approximately 21 days.
***
We were driving to town yesterday, and Daisy Mae saw me sipping my coffee.
She was quite distraught.
“Mom! You aren’t supposed to drink and drive!”
***
Little Dude is very interested in telling me the colors of the stoplights.
“Green! Go, Mom!”
“Red! Stop!”
You would not believe the wrath I must suffer when I turn right at a red light.
***
Little Dude told me the same joke over and over yesterday.
Would you like to hear it?
Sure you do.
Little Dude: Knock, knock
Me: Who’s there?
Little Dude: Banana!
Me: Banana, who?
Little Dude: Yummy!
*giggle, giggle, chuckle, chuckle*
***
The other day, I was having a DAY with homeschooling. You know those days, fellow homeschooling moms?
They come and go.
But anyways, it was a DAY, and I was looking over Daisy Mae’s math and I just burst out laughing:
Happy Thursday!
It may have been homemade jam, but was it Homemade Holy Huckleberry Jam? This I want to know. 🙂
Ummm… so many things that happen in your mornings, happen in my mornings too. It’s really weird. The TV thing happens the exact same way here.
I think I forgot to say fried eggs for a snack food–that is one of my kids standbys. Two fried eggs for a bedtime snack is completely normal, yes? At this house, it is. And, they can fry them themselves with very little supervision, so that makes me happy.
I just love these posts of yours, so funny!
I’m sure you get the same yelling as we do if we are trying to turn left on green. It’s green, that means go, go now, go now, go, go, go! It gets louder and louder each time it is said until we can finally make our turn safely.
My younger girls showers in that same exact way. But take heart! One day soon she will start taking 30 minute showers while she applies every lotion and potion known to man and shaves her legs. The rest of the family will then have to take 5 minute showers in cold water.
Teenagers are tons of fun and also tell you how to drive.
This is precious but just wait until they are teens. A loaf bread gone in a day. Crazy.
The boys will take tremendously long showers, but will forget to use any soap or shampoo whatsoever. And will don the same dirty clothes when they get out of the shower. They will also consider towels and actually drying off optional.
Until they get interested in girls. Then they will still forget to use soap and shampoo, but they will douse themselves with untold amounts of Axe body spray until you want to gag and have to forbid them from ever having that odor in the house again. Trust me, sweat smells better.
This post is great. All of it. Seriously, your kids are too funny.
And I am way impressed by the homemade jam.
Let me just say I can totally relate! Soooo many of those things happen in my house =) Especially the shower thing. Although I have to admit, she does occasionally remember the towel…but when she does it “somehow” gets left on the floor right next to the shower where it “somehow” gets soaked before she even exits said shower.
My girl will also forget her towel and get her 2 year old brother to bring it in for her. The lil’ guy is always only *too* obliging!
I’m still waiting for the “don’t drink and drive” thing. So far, it’s been “don’t drink too much, you’ll get GOUT.” Can a 5 year old honestly conceive that?
And thank you for reminding me that kids will eventually sleep through the night.
Fun post! I feel like I’m right there, living it with you! Do you feel encouraged?
Okay, your girls shower in the morning? My kids must shower at night. They are too filthy to go to bed without showering.
I love morning routines…
Well, it is today isn’t it? And, Don’t Drink and Drive, Mom! 🙂 Holla! 😉
That jam impressed me!
Your little family and your tales of adventure in ruralville are so adorable.
Also, I had a baby a few days before I turned 30. Some of the worst pictures I’ve ever taken in my life were taken on that birthday. I looked way better at 40 : )
I think the long shower thing (and the forgetting to rinse the hair) are just status quo for young females. Actually most females of my acquaintance though I, personally, am of the get in, do your business, get out and move on personality!
Your morning routine sounds, dare I say it, delightful! Treasure these moments. All of your children are under one roof. Before you know it, they’ll be balancing four jobs (my Chicky), a gal pal and church (my Rooster), and you’ll only see them when they need to ask permission to put gas in their cars.
🙂
I once spent almost three hours arguing with my 5 year old over the proper way to write the number 9. THREE HOURS.
It was my Waterloo.
Isn’t it funny how we teach our babies to walk and talk and sleep and then when they are bigger want them to sit down, be quiet and take a nap? And they won’t leave us alone when they are little but when they are big and enjoyable are too busy? Ahh the irony of parenthood!
yore ole blog justa keeps me goin