Recent Happenstances

Ever since I turned 30, my life got super busy and I have had no time for this blogging nonsense.

Maybe I am now too old for such things.

Every time someone hears that I am now thirty, their eyes get all big.

“Wow.  I’m sorry!”

“Oh . . . . 30, huh?”

“Hey, Dave!  You gotta find a new wife now!  Yours is so old!”

And that last one is just plain nonsense because David knows he shall never find a wife to move to Ruralville and put up with his trophy buck staring at her all the livelong day.

My mother had the day off on Friday and whenever my mother has a day off during the summer-ish months, she is bound and determined to go to the beach.  And every time she has a day off, the weather is frigid. 

And yet, she refuses to retreat.

So, on Friday, I was chilly and wearing my winter layers and trying to get all the kids swimstuff packed to humor my mother who must be getting crazy because she is 51 and all now.

And we drive all the way into town and, *gasp*, we determined it was too cold to go the beach.  This displeased Little Dude and he just kept yelling at me:

“Go to BEACH!  Go to BEACH NOW!”

He is such a well-behaved boy.  So, my mom decided we should take all the kids to skating rink.

Because that sounds easy.

Whilst skating, Handsome Dude was a bit ahead of me and I noticed him having some trouble with his glasses.

Shocking, I know.

So, I tried to pull Little Dude as fast as I could and got there just in time for another little boy, about 7 years old, helping him.

And that, my friends, is just fantastic, and I hope my boys will someday be that helpful and polite . . .

One can only hope.

So, the little boy had put Handsome Dude’s lens back in the frame for him and off Handsome Dude went.

And moments later, both lenses just popped out of the frames and onto the floor of the local roller rink.

My poor boy.  He finally gets responsible with the glasses (and I use the term “responsible” quite loosely)  (quite), and now he is plagued with “lenses-randomly-popping-out” syndrome.

So, that was fun and and I had to call my dapper husband who came and picked Handsome Dude up, took him to the eye glasses clinic, where everybody knows our name, and they just decided to superglue his glasses together.

This excites me!  Hopefully his lenses won’t just pop out anymore.

I am 30 now.  These are the things that excite me.

Maybe I should take up knitting.

On Saturday, we stayed at home all day and it was the first time in months that Mr. Lumberjack got to stay a full 24 hours at his dream house that he forgets to live at.

He was in a jolly good mood and I was able to convince him that he needed to help the kids clean ALL the rabbit poop from around the bunny hutches.

And he did!

Attention Wives:  Please submit your husbandly queries to me and I, the expert that I obviously am, shall help you achieve the results you desire.

So, I went inside and turned on my Taylor Swift, because even though I am 30, I am not too old for Taylor Swift, and I cooked up some elk meat for lunch.

Attention Wives:  I live in Ruralville with peach walls and deer heads staring at me while I cook my husband up some elk for lunch.  Don’t bother sending your queries.  Instead, send me your advice on how I can get out of this mess.  Thank you.

No!  I did not partake of the elk for my meal, you silly readers, you!

That’s crazy talk.

On Sunday, David’s work treated everyone to a day at the amusement park.

I know what you are thinking, dear readers.

Elk!  Rabbits!  Roller rinks!  Beaches!  Winter weather in June!  Amusement Parks!

Where does this Lumberjill live?

I know, I know.  So mysterious, so exciting.  Yes.  That is my life.

Here we are with our lovely selves, getting all amused at the park.

Fun Fact:  I took none of these pictures.  A fellow worker of David’s did.

David probably thought he was safe from anyone else seeing these pictures.

Yet, his coworker was armed with a smart phone and the power of The Facebook, which is what all made these pictures possible for you today.

Handsome Dude thought he was driving a car for reals.  He was pretty elated and thrilled and all that.

A lot of David’s coworkers were a bit surprised to see him there.

“Dave!  I didn’t think this was your thing!”

“So, you made it all the way from Ruralville, huh?”

“I’m surprised to see you here. I thought you’d be at home ‘sticking it to the man'”

Ha!

It’s a good thing David has such humorous people in his life to tease him endlessly.

It’s good for him.

At the aforementioned amusement park, there is also a water park (I know! I told you my life was exciting!).  Little Dude fell and scraped up his leg a bit. 

I found a lifeguard person and asked her if she had a bandaid.

She told me I had to find a paramedic.

?

So I found the paramedic and asked her if she had a bandaid.

She told me I had to come with her to the First Aid Station.

So, she had to make the small talk, don her gloves, clean the wound, give the boy a sucker, try to understand the words the boy was saying, give him a bandaid, and took her time lovingly picking out a sticker for him.

Which was super nice and all.

But I just needed a bandaid.

I know what you are thinking.

“Taylor!  Why do you not already carry bandaids around?  Have you met your children?”

I know, I know.

I guess I like to live on the wild side.

So, that was our weekend, as exciting as it was.

Oh!  I leave for Las Vegas on Saturday!

I hope to lose 10 pounds by then.

Wish me luck!