Our family members always tease me about the “peach pie incident”. This incident happened within the first few months of our marriage. The Lumberjack, more commonly known as David, was working as a server at a restaurant when we were married. I had these dreams of him coming home, tired and hungry, and I would have a delicious feast prepared for him. In this dream, he would arrive at his work place and he would tell all of his work buddies:
“My wife is the best cook. I am the luckiest man in the world.”
David would try and guess what time he would be home. Since he was a server, it was kind of hard to predict. One night, I decided to make dinner and dessert. I do not remember what I made for dinner, but I know it was a new recipe. I know this because I had gotten the recipe for dessert from the same new cookbook that I was making dinner from. Fresh peach pie. Oh, he will surely love me.
Who does not like fresh peach pie? Find me one person, I beg of you.
I was baking, and boiling, and cooking away at 7 in the evening when it was about 90 degrees outside. No air conditioning. Plus, our house was 700 square feet. I was sweaty and stressed. Not a good combo. He was supposed to be home by 9ish. So, I had it all ready to go by 9. Table set. Food ready.
I was an ignorant overachiever.
The clocked ticked on and on. And on. I remember he came home at 11:45pm.
I tried my best to remain calm. This was hard for a clueless 19 year old stressed and sweaty bride, such as myself.
Me: “Are you hungry?”
David: “No. Just tired. Plus I ate something at work.”
This is very discouraging. But I have placed my hope in my redeeming pie.
“Would you like some fresh peach pie?”
“No, thanks. But I will wrap it up for you.”
And he happily got out the foil and proceeded to cover up the pie, along with all my hopes and dreams of ever being a good wife.
Poor, silly, young Lumberjack. He didn’t know what was coming.
It was our first fight as a married couple.
Seriously. Have you ever peeled fresh peaches? It is not easy.
I do not remember much more, other than I was pretty upset. And he was pretty confused.
Looking back, I was totally in the wrong. It was not his fault in the least. At the time, however, I was only interesting in seeing how he wronged me.
Instead, I should have been more understanding that he had been on his feet since probably 11am, running around, working hard, and earning money to provide for the finer things in life . . . such as fresh peaches, for example.
This is one area in my life where I am glad I am “older and more mature.”
After 11 years of being his wife, I know that my role is not to necessarily have a meal ready for him the minute he walks in the door.
Nay.
He wants peace. And quiet. And a happy wife. And a wife who just lets him work when he needs to work and rest when he needs to rest.
A wife who lets him hunt when he feels the need for fresh blood on his hands.
And even snaps pictures of the perfect rack.
(I am speaking of deer antlers. Let’s keep it clean, folks.)
I am lucky. I have a husband loves me, provides for us, helps out around the house, and even sings in falsetto whilst picking his beloved berries.
(Don’t tell him I told you that part.)
So, if I were to be able to go back in time and give myself some marriage advice, it would be this:
Calm down.
Life gets messy and things don’t always go as planned. Show your husband the respect and grace he deserves, and he will show you the love and kindness you need.
And don’t make peach pie.
Since I have decided to go all marriage-pro on you all, I thougth I would leave you with a quick list.
You know.
A few more helpful hints in the marriage department.
You can thank me later.
1. Be sure to always be impressed with the engine in his truck. If it makes loud noises, do not say: “Is something wrong with the truck?”
No.
Please say: “Wow! Listen to the POWER!”
2. Pay attention to the little things. My husband loves himself a new toothbrush.
So, I quickly learned that new toothbrush=wife of the year
3. Wear Carhartts simply because they are his favorite:
No matter how ridiculous they make you look.
4. This next one is the hardest one.
Brace yourselves.
Let him have his glory.
But stop it at 2 mounts. Otherwise, things start get weird and creepy.
5. Make sure to just appreciate him for who he is. Even if that person bugs you from time to time.
(I am joining in at Kelly’s Korner for Show Us Your Life: Give Us Your Best Marriage Advice.)
Really wonderful advice!
We are still in the ‘figuring each other out’ phase. But I wouldn’t want to be in that phase with anyone else. I loved this post!
Have you read “Love & Respect” by Emerson Eggeriches? Sounds like it. Men need/crave respect. Women need love and kindness. Figuring that out will add sanity and quality to marriages. Good stuff, Taylor. Thanks for the encouragement, needed it today.
Going on 31 years and you speak the truth. Except for the mounts. We have none. His prize is beef in the freezer and they frown on mounting those heads.
Well said!
Mounts and Racks? *snicker, snicker*
So glad to hear that you are keeping things fresh in your marraige . . . .or should I say well preserved and on display? : )
(Sorry, every now and then I fancy myself a funny person, it will pass . . .)
We had been married about 3 weeks when my husband decided it would save us a TON of money if I cut his hair. Well, I’ve never cut any kind of hair before and didn’t have a guard on the clippers. Needless to say, he ended up with a reverse mohawk right up the middle of his head. He kept saying, just even it out, and I had no idea what he was talking about. There were a lot of tears on my end. At least 7 years later we can look back on it and laugh.
Very good advice. 🙂 I draw the line at the heads in the house though! 😉
Isn’t it funny the things that you remember. When Dear Hubby and I first were together, I don’t even remember what we were fighting about; but I do remember being so mad that I kicked a bucket filled with water an cleaning products.
I too have learned about the quiet time. Dinner isn’t as important as quiet time.
I’m glad I’m not alone in theses issues of the early (or not so early) years of mariage. Excellent advice.
Good advice. Also I would say to be careful about griping about him to others. Of course, you may have a little purge fest with a carefully chosen friend. But if you diss your husband, don’t be surprised when your friends think negatively of him. Also, if you are griping about him, you are focusing on his negatives. Make him seem like a super hero to your friends and kids, and before you know it you will be focusing on what a true super hero he really is to you. Empty the dishwasher? Super hero moment. Scratched your back? Another one. Put gas in the car so you wouldn’t have to leave 5 minutes earlier for work? Super hero.
See? It’s the little things. If you focus on these and praise him for them, he will want to do more!
Oh, and since I’m such a great wife who never fights with her husband or disrespects him, I have no idea how this event occurred:
http://andi-rambling.blogspot.com/2010/07/spaghetti-debacle-of-2007.html
I want some peach pie. that sounds AWESOME!
Since I did all kinds of exercise today, does that mean that I can have 2 treats?
May your and husband continue to be blessed with a good life together!
Tho Thweeeet! Isn’t it a blessing to have a husband deserving of love, grace, understanding, and peace? Happy for you twos.
Apple Pie…yep, had the fight over apple pie…but we had already been married 7 years. I am a slow learner.
Good wisdom here. You’re so right about the husband wanting peace, quiet and a happy wife when he gets home. I really need to work on those areas! Thanks for sharing. Going to share this post with my friends now!
What wonderful advice! I have had meals go straight to the fridge when my husband was to tired to eat them.
Great post! Lots of great wisdom for a good marriage. I wish someone would have taught me them when I was young. It would have spared me of pain in my marriage. Thankfully it is never too late to learn new tricks!
http://www.lorialexander.blogspot.com
We always have the memories of our first fight as a married couple. We have all been there. You really gave good advice, but remember you are important also. You are right, everyone loves Peach Pie, so I made one this morning.
We always have the memories of our first fight as a married couple. We have all been there. You really gave good advice, but remember you are important also. You are right, everyone loves Peach Pie, so I made one this morning.
yup, i had to learn that one the hard way, too taylor…i am a hunters wife! i have had to learn that hunting is priority numero uno come november 15! come rain or shine…dinner or no dinner on the table!! pie or no pie!! lol but he’s a good man and he loves me despite all my “baggage” so it all evens out… 🙂
I love fresh peach pie and would totally eat it at midnight no matter how tired or full I was.
But that is neither here nor there.
My favorite marriage advice that I can never put on my own blog for fear of scarring my children for life (more than I already have):
Just do IT.
By which I mean, go ahead and have sex even if you aren’t in the mood because it makes husbands VERY HAPPY and then they are cheerful and do chores for you the first time you ask.
Hopefully YOUR children don’t read your blog so I haven’t scarred them.
Ahhhhh! I loved this advice!!! We’ve fought over meals before too. That’s what we get for being such darn good Susie Homemakers. It cuts me deep when he doesn’t clean his plate, but I’m getting over it. Five years in, and I’m slowwwwwwwwly learning.