We had a bit of stress this weekend. We have this car, you see. Actually, all menfolk we encounter call it a truck, so I have no idea what I am driving. I think I would call it an SUV. But whatever. It is a Ford Excursion.
ANYWAYS, our car/truck has this annoying habit of randomly thinking someone is trying to steal it and will go into “theft mode.”
Theft mode is,basically, complete lock down.
The car/truck simply won’t start. There is nothing you can do.
So, on Saturday, we go to the gas station. Everyone and their mothers have decided to fuel up at this particular station.. We spent all of our money, plus our kids’ college funds, on filling up our thirsty beast of a rig, and David goes to start the car/truck.
The car/truck, thinking it is soooo smart, feels that David is a felon and goes immediately into theft mode. And the best part is that we are towing a utility trailer, therefore, we are blocking the pump behind us. Which, I am sure, was very much appreciated by all the fellow gas-filler-uppers, as well as their mothers.
You may ask: “Taylor! Why were you towing a utility trailer?!”
Silly readers. Have you met my husband? We are off to see a guy about some rabbit feed. And, apparently, we will now be buying it in bulk.
David is literally sweating. If it was me driving all by myself, I would have been crying and wailing and sobbing. But since David is there, I feel no fear. Instead, I just sit in the passenger seat, checking Facebook on my phone, and cracking jokes.
“Having a little trouble there?”
“Need me to take a look under the hood?”
Fun Fact: I can’t even open the hood.
Finally, he gets it started. I mention that we should probably go to the Ford dealer and have them check out the sitch.
100 (meaningless) points to anyone who remembers what “sitch” is.
David disagrees, and off we go to see the rabbit feed guy. And after we purchased our 28 tons of rabbit feed, guess what?
Our car/truck wouldn’t start.
I win!
So, David had to call his brother Alex to come and tow us to the Ford dealer. Once my dad heard of our plans he said, and I quote:
“I am coming to get you. I do not want my grandchildren riding around in a towed vehicle.”
And I was like, “Dad, have you heard about my life?”
Just kidding. Let’s let him think his grandchildren have never ridden in a towed vehicle, shall we?
So, we got to go to my parents’ house and David went to the Ford dealer, where the car/truck started up just fine and David was charged many dollars to hear that our car/truck was fine and he was a big, fat liar. Lame.
Let’s move on!
Next, we went on the boat. Don’t be too impressed. We like to call it “the boat,” almost as if we had some sort of ownership in it. But, no. It is David’s sister’s boat. We don’t have a boat.
But we do have 28 tons of rabbit feed in a car/truck that always thinks we are stealing it. Does that impress you?
David pleads with me to join him on the tube.
This is me hoping to not get my hair wet.
And . . .
this is me holding onto the tube with a Vulcan Death Grip to ensure my hair not getting wet. And I don’t even know what a Vulcan is, nor if it has a death grip. But it sounds appropriate, does it not?
Sunday.
On Sunday, we went to a meeting at church. And you will never BELIEVE what happened.
The car/truck thought we were trying to steal it again.
Oh, my lands, it is annoying. I wish I could have knocked on Mr. Ford Dealer Repairman’s Door and given him a piece of my mind.
But, anyways, we made it to the meeting and yada yada yada, here is the whole point of me telling you about that:
We had to take our lovely children with us.
So, at one point during the meeting, the leader is talking and Handsome Dude whisper/shouts:
“Mom! I have to go POOOOOOOP!”
You knew I was going to talk about bathroom stuff, didn’t you, dear readers? We all know that is why you come here. You just can’t survive if I don’t tell you the latest.
As luck would have it, the bathroom is right near where the leader is speaking.
So. My Handsome Dude is in the bathroom and I hear this very loud moaning.
David shoots me a look of death from across the room.
You know this look, don’t you, dear readers? The “do something about YOUR poo-poo-moaning kid NOW!” look?
So, I open the door and tell him to poop quieter.
“MOM! I CAN’T! IT’S THE OWIE KIND OF POOPIE!”
And he continued to moan and groan for dear life in that bathroom for all the world to hear. The leader, who could hear all of this, just kept on going and didn’t embarass me or nothing.
Bless her heart.
***
This past weekend marked the 10th Anniversary of September 11. I just wanted to say thank you to all the men, women, and families who sacrifice so much to keep our country safe.
My friend, Erin, who I have met through blogging, is getting ready to say goodbye to her husband for several months. He is leaving to serve our country overseas. They have two young children.
If you have an extra moment, please stop by Erin’s blog (I know you will love it!) and offer her some encouragement and thanks. She’s a gem. Thank you!
snitch is a “situation”? Sounds like an adventure filled weekend.
We had a problem like this with our last car. It had a passive anti theft thingie that would shut off the fuel line or something if it thought it was being stolen. It always did it at the most inconvenient times, so frustrating!! In our owners manual it had a section about the device, if you turned the key to “on” for six minutes or something like that, it would reset it, and you could then start the car. Does yours have that option?
we had the same sitch(uation) with our chevy colorado…you had to wait 10 minutes and then it would start right up. i have always said that if i had car trouble that impeded others, i would just abandon the vehicle like i didn’t know who owned it!
owie poopie’s are the worst…well, except for stinky poopie’s when you are in someone elses home =o(
already sent erin, josh, and the kidlets some lovin’. i hope they know how much we appreciate the sacrifice!!!
Thanks Sandy 🙂 Your kind words mean a lot!
I tried to comment on your last sweet post too and I had password issues (I don’t know why they even need one??) so I couldn’t post it. BUT, I’ll tell you now over here on Taylors blog. 🙂 A huge THANK YOU to your husband, you and your children for your sacrifices! They are not taken lightly! I will keep your family in my prayers! The Lord bless and keep you and make his face shine upon you all!! And bring you safely back together!
I’m talking to Erin up there. 🙂
We also drive a Ford Excursion. We’ve never had a problem with the anti theft. However, our overhead cab light refuses to turn off. My husband has had to start unhooking the cables from the battery every. single. night. in order to keep the battery from dying. We also have a Ford Windstar van, and apparently this light thing is a common problem with Fords because we had the same sitch with the van. Highly annoying! Although, I think the light problem is less annoying than the problem you are having!
It must be situation. Don’t you just hate it when the car repair guys tell you nothing is wrong and you know dang well there is? Holla! 🙂
My car once broke down 4 cars back from a red light. It was the alternator so my radio didnt work, I was a cab driver, so I ran over to a gas station to call for help. When I got back outside headed to my cab, there is a car sitting behind mine, now way back all alone from the red light, honking at my empty car.
This post cracked me up so much I got a sitch in my side……:-)
My 14 year old son announced loudly in the middle of Barnes and Noble the other day that he had taken so long in the bathroom because he was pooping. I can’t blog about it though because he’s a teenager and would kill me.
Just letting you know that it doesn’t get any better.
ahahahahahaha!
Oh, wait. No. That is what I have to look forward to…should not be laughing.
If someone had told me before I became a mom how much time I spend thinking about other people’s poop, I would not have believed them.
My son once yelled that same thing across a crowded ice-skating rink. I was all, “oh my gosh, we ARE those unsocialized homeschoolers!” I have tried to train them to stop with the Bodily Function Announcements, but to no avail.
Dying.
Seriously.
That’s the sitch over here. I’m dying over my coffee. SO soooo funny. Enjoy your rabbit feed.
You are crackin’ me up with the poop talk, and of COURSE that’s why we’re here!
I found Erin’s blog through yours quite some time ago and she is a hoot! I love her sense of humor and her kids are quite adorable! I hate that her hubby is leaving… I have been in those shoes before and it is not fun at all! 🙁
Thanks Jennifer 🙂
Have a proclaimed how much I love Handsome Dude lately? That kid is awe-some!
I do notice from the photos that David’s relaxed position never changes from “before” to “during.” Yours, on the other hand, says it all.
Maybe next time you can ask someone to perform the Vulcan Nerve Pinch on you so that you won’t have to be forced to use the Vulcan Death Grip.
What a weekend you had. I couldn’t help but laugh as you told us about it. I know it wasn’t a laughing matter of a weekend, but one you will remember I’m sure. One day you and your husband will sit and laugh together about your adventures.
Every time I read here I think, Taylor needs a little weekend away in New York City…shopping, lunch out, cabs that you don’t have to start or jump start with nary a towed vehicle attached…fall in the city is the best…the door is always open : )
Well, I’m back at work this week and reading your blog during my lunch break…..wouldn’t you know it! Oh well, I’m getting used to reading about poopie issues etc so it is not bothering me much anymore…except this chili doesn’t look as good any more….Hey, great diet trick!! That is terrible about the truck…my 86 yo dad just bought an Excursion – I wonder if his will do the same thing? Hope so, it might keep him from driving! Anyway ~ Love your blog!!
ugh! your “truck” sounds like a real pain in the lower torso!! 🙂 i hate owie poopies!!! 🙁
You’re making me famous! 😉
Thanks for the shout out, interfriend.
Your “fun facts” are always my favorite part! HAHA! I can’t open the hood either.
Aren’t you so glad on some level that the darn Excursion didn’t act up when your husband took it in? It’s usually the woman who looks ‘dumb’ because of a vehicular sitch…
Hubs and I are cracking up! The whole truck sitch and the kids pooping with abandon, es divertido. I am so loving the helpful suggestions at the gas pump while LJ sweats. It musta been a hot day. 😉
Twitter seems to be the best way to get the attention of big companies who’s customer service leaves a lot to be desired. This isn’t just an inconvenience, it could be down right dangerous.
I sooo needed a laugh today. Thanks, chica. You rock!
Yep. The only reason I read your blog is the potty stories. It is my therapy. It helps me to know that at least one other crazy homeschooling mom of 4 has children that do things such as that.