My Tiny Tim post yesterday has left many of you bewildered. I need to shed some light on something for you:
I usually only have like 20, maybe 30 minutes to blog. After I carefully take photos, edit them, upload them, write a meaningful, thought-provoking post, spell check, grammar check, and check for make sense-ed-ness, I am plumb out of time. So sometimes, and this may shock you, my posts are confusing. And lacking in sense. Or purpose.
Lest any of you are confused, I don’t do most of those tasks I listed up there.
Anyways. Let’s clear some stuff up, shall we?
Issue #1:
Tiny Tim.
See? He’s tiny. Hence the name. I don’t touch rabbits, but my farm and ranch girls do. That’s Tiny Tim on the right (duh) and his bro/sis on the left. We call it a bro/sis, because we are unawares as to what the gender might be. We’ll call a shim. You know. She/him. Shim.
Issue #2:
My elbow.
Many of you were concerned (and I thank you) about my elbow, but also could not see it in my beautiful, high-class photograph.
It’s in the shadow on the floor, people. Please. Try to focus.
Since you were all so concerned, here is a picture of me with my real elbow.
I totally look like a tired, weary, 30 year old homeschooling mom, don’t I? I will be accepting all makeup/hair/beauty suggestions. Thank you.
Yes. My elbow looks fine. I have made a miraculous recovery.
Issue #3
Melissa/Bimlissa
My dearheart friend Bimlissa, who MADE me start a blog, stopped commenting awhile ago. I was forlorn! I was dismayed! I was paranoid! So, I said something about her not reading my blog and she assured me she was, and I was like, why don’t you comment, and she was like, I don’t know what to say, and I was like, you could just say hi, and she said she could do that, and could this sentence be any more of a run-on, I ask you?
So. My Bimlissa shows me love by commenting: “Hi!” Every now and again. So, if you see her pop in and say “hi”, just know it is Bimlissa living up to her end of the bargain.
Isn’t she the greatest? Well worth the fee I pay her to be my friend.
Issue #4:
HEAR YE, HEAR YE. ERIN HAS BEATEN ME IN WORDS WITH FRIENDS.
Also: Joyce beats the snot out of me weekly. And everyone else I play. I am not good. But this does not surprise you.
****
Let’s talk about Sister Meagan! She’s getting all handsome on a new city, so I don’t see her face no more. However, I can reminisce.
Sister Meagan and I have a niece. When said niece was about 2 or 3 years old, she was spending the night at my parents’ house, where Sister Meagan still lived. For the purpose of this post, we shall call my niece, Niece. Because that is convenient for me.
My mom, who goes into a coma after 8pm, asked Sister Meagan to help put Niece to sleep.
Meagan: I don’t know how to put her to bed!
Mom: She’s likes if you sing to her.
Meagan: What song?
Mom: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
So, Meagan goes in and asks Niece what song she would like to hear.
Niece: The mockingbird song!
Moments later, my mom is woken up by the sounds of Niece screaming and crying and wailing:
“That’s NOT the song! That’s NOT the song!”
Poor Sister Meagan is frantically singing this song, louder and louder:
“Mock . . . yeah! Ing . . . yeah! BIRD . . . yeah! Yeah . . . Yeah!”
(Name that movie)
Mom: Meagan. She means “Hush little baby, don’t say a word. Papa’s gonna buy you a mockingbird.”
Meagan: Well, that’s the only mockingbird song I could think of!
Now that’s funny. You cannot deny it.
Alright! I hope with all my heart that this post does not confuse you. Truly. I do.
Oh! I mentioned before that David is now an email subscriber of this blog. But I don’t think he really reads it.
I did catch him reading it one night. But he fell asleep in the middle. Does it help if I tell you that before he fell asleep, he was reading with an ever-so-slight-smile upon his face?
No? Yes? No?
So. Let’s test him. David! If you are reading this, please say the following sentence to me, your beloved.
“Taylor! Let me take you to the mall and shower you with many gifts of non-Ranchwear clothing!”
We shall see, dear readers. We shall see.
This was a very clear and coherent post. Good job.
My burning question is this:
Do we pronounce Sister Meagan’s name MEE-gun or MAY-gun?
I have to know.
MAY-gun. Like Reagan, with an M. 🙂
I have a cousin (boy) named REE-gan, spelled Regan. And now he shares his name with kazillions of small American girls.
ha ha ha!!! THAT is funny!
Dumb and Dumber?
or one of those equally annoying movies that my husband loves…. I have a distinct memory of the Mock…Ing…Bird…Ing song.
oh my gosh the mocking bird thing is hilarious. hilarious!
lately my sons have been requesting the “alligator song” and I don’t know what the #*$*( that is, so I tried making it up and they always tell me I’m singing it wrong, and I say, “BE QUIET! I’m singing the alligator song, go to sleep NOOOOOW!”
Good times.
Seriously though, what alligator song? this bothers me.
Dumb & Dumber.
I feel vindicated, but you forgot to mention I beat you twice.
I’ll let it slide.
Yes, the mockinghappenstance was tres amusing.
(Tres is French for very. I know because in my lonely evenings I am studying a language I will never use.)
The Tiny Tim story fascinates me. Could it be that (while RARE but it does happen, at least in humans…or so I have read) the He bunny got the She bunny pregnant while pregnant….does that make sense. Tiny Tim looks premature for sure!
I want Tiny Tim. Could you please bring Shim to Alaska? I promise not to eat shim. I am, however, eating Mr. Caribou tonight.
Taylor, you are beautiful as you are! But I do think David should send you to the mall and shower you with clothes because who doesn’t need that?
Hi, it’s me again. But I do have to say that the main reason I dont comment is that I’m intimidated by all the other clever comments and know that I’m not up to par. So I’ll stick with “hi” and you know I always stop in to read =)
Ummmm….yep. me too
Me three!
Here’s hoping David reads your post. You don’t need any beauty tips, you’re already beauty-full. Holla! 🙂
i knew where your elbow was!!! yay me!! do i get any totally useless points, huh, huh, do i??? pleeeaaaassse??? 🙂
You look fine without getting all done up. 🙂
I knew where your elbow was and I totally followed yesterday’s post. But, alas, I am not familiar with the Dumb & Dumber movie, so I missed out on some of the hilarity. Don’t worry I will survive another day. I will agree with several above commenters (commentors?) above in saying that you need not beauty tips. You are gorgeous as is. I wore a baseball hat for a GOOD reason today. The hair was bad, very bad, and if I stick it in a pony tail and put a hat on it there is less frizz to stare at.
I sure hope he reads it and showesr you with many gifts of non-Ranchwear clothing!” =)
Taylor your posts always make perfect sense to me. You don’t need beauty tips either : )
Hi…
Hi….:-)
I wanna play Words With Friends with you!
And Tiny Tim is very tiny.
Also, once I hit my elbow on a pipe in my basement and it hurt so badly that I blacked out. Just saying. (It’s been a long day!)
i would say name the bunny pat after the saturday night live skit of not knowing a persons gender but then we might get confused with erins mother inlaw pat the bunny so nevermind (now THAT’S a run on sentence =o)
i did not know the dumb and dumber reference (i refuse to watch anything that will eat any remaining brain cells that i might have left!). i was thinking more along the lines of captain and tennille…yes, i am old =o(
glad your real belbow is better…how is your shadow belbow doing?
Oh, your forgot to mention that when Niece got upset because I wasn’t singing the song like Grams does, I decided that must mean that I had forgotten to dance whilst singing. So yeah, I danced and sang Mock-YEAH, ing-YEAH, bird-YEAH! YEAH. YEAH!!!
totally jealous over that elbow. mine are now wrinkly and saggy. when i try on shirts i always turn around to see how my ……NO….my elbows looks. it’s truly a sign of old age when your elbows show your age.
this is a test. this is only a test. this is a test of the “do Lumberjacks read the blog their beloved spends 20 precious minutes of her day slaving over” system. in the event that a Lumberjack does read the blog, this message will be followed by a trip to the mall. not the dump mall. a mall with cute clothes that show off young elbows. thank you for your patience during the administration of this test.
Ha!!
I think you may have done thing on your list today…..
Love Tiny Tim! Too cute. You should cuddle him
Too funny with the song. Was your sister a wee bit embarrassed?
Okay, is it weird that’s what she sang? Because that was my song assumption too! Also? Your elbow is lovely.
I do not recall that Dumb & Dumber reference. But I hated that movie, so there ya go.
I want that Tiny Tim, but alas I have no time for such cute fluffiness…I’m sure my house would fall into worse disrepair than it already is if I adopted shim…
Dumb & Dumber = the DUMBEST movie ever. But, upon deep reflection, I do suppose that was the point. Huh.
You forgot to say that even if she was singing the wrong song, Sister Meagan has a WONDERFUL singing voice and probably sounded lovely anyway. Plus, now that I know a dance was involved, my picture in my head of this event got so much better!
Oh and I want 10 bazillion points for knowing your elbow was in the shadow in the picture. Thanks.
Yo, Meg – that’s stinkin hilarious. Better brush up on nursery rhyme songs with all your fam’s offspring