Awhile back, I mentioned that mud in my house was the scourge of my existence.
I lied. Awana patches. They are the real scourge of my existence.
Do you have offspring in Awana Cubbies, dear readers? Are you familiar with . . .
The Vest?
Except that does not look like my children’s vest. On account of the fact that the pictured vest actually has patches attached to it.
Oh, my boys have earned patches. There are patches in the car. There are patches in a bowl in the kitchen. There are patches on the floor. There are patches everywhere . . . except on the vests. You see, dear readers, I cannot sew.
I’ll give you a moment to recover from your understandable shock.
I blame my mother! She won’t deny it, either. She did not teach me one thing about sewing. In fact, I don’t think she even ever showed me what a needle looked like. In the interest of full disclosure, I am pretty certain there was a small, tomato-like thing that pins were pushed into at our house in the days of yore. But I never saw it in use.
Many years ago, when the girls were in Awana Cubbies, I implored my sis-in-law, Lisa, to teach me how to sew. She gave me excellent instructions and pretended to be impressed when I shouted for joy at my first stitch.
It was pretty dope.
But wouldn’t you know it, my girls kept earning patches. So, one day, I had to put on my big-girl pants and try sewing the patches on all by myself.
The first step is threading the needle. I look in the sewing kit . . . that Lisa purchased for me, might I add, trying to ascertain which needle would be best and which color of thread.
Did Lisa say to use the same color as the patch? Or the same color as the vest? I could not be certain.
I notice this little guy in my sweet sewing kit and I wonder what on earth he’s got to do with the price of cheese?
I decide that any color thread will suffice and I begin the attempted needle threading.
OH.
MY.
GOSH.
BECKY.
Needle-threading. Not for the faint of heart. That little loopy on the top of the needle is so small! I would try and thread it and the end would get all split, so I would lick it and try to put it through and it would just not work. I am not exaggerating in the least when I tell you I tried to thread that needle for FORTY-FIVE minutes.
I was ready to give up all my dreams of being a Susie Fantastic when I remembered The Google.
Oh, The Google. My saving grace.
So, I Googled: How to Thread a Needle and Google, my new BFF, promptly displayed an informative YouTube video for my viewing pleasure.
You know what this guy is?
A needle THREADER! You know. For to thread the needle! Ah. Brilliant.
So, I watch the DVD and try it on my own. Nailed it. It takes me about 35 minutes, but I sew on three WHOLE patches. I was uEber proud of myself and went to put it on one of my sweet girls.
Imagine my disappointment when I realized that I had sewed the patch all the way through to the back of the vest.
Don’t you hate it when that happens?
So, that little sewing adventure took place about 3 years ago. And now, I shall share with you my present-day sewing travails.
I have two boys in Cubbies. This may surprise you, but I wasn’t too eager to get right on the patches this year.
But, I started to feel guilty when my boys kept asking when their vests would get the patches. So, I considered my hot glue gun. I called my marmie, because she is the reason I can’t sew in the first place, and she had a good thought: perhaps the heat of the dryer would melt the hot glue.
She is a smart one, no?
So, I resorted to ironing on the patches.
Oh! Have I told you? I’m also terrible at ironing. It’s true. I cannot tell a lie.
I ironed on all of their patches and within one week they had all fallen off. Hence the patches in multiple locations throughout the house.
So tonight, I sat down determined to catch up on all these patches. I spent five minutes trying to get the needle off the . . . . needle cylinder? I don’t know what it is called. And then I remembered AUNTIE DATENUTLOAF!
Auntie Datenutloaf is on an airplane flying to where I live at this very moment.
BAM!
Auntie Datenutloaf is an expert sewer. And, true, she will most likely be disappointed in me and my lack of domestic skills, but she is my auntie and it is her job to help me out of tricky situations such as these.
So, I am sitting on my bed, needles, thread, and patches scattered about, blogging about how I am going to make my dear aunt sew patches whilst she is on vacation.
She will be most honored.
Can you sew? What is your level of expertise?
Did you know what this was?
Do you want to teach me your skills? Or skillz?
Feel free to share. Or not. The choice is yours.
No, I don’t sew. Hence:
http://www.amazon.com/Aleenes-Fabric-Fusion-Permanent-Adhesive/dp/B00178QSE6
http://www.joann.com/singer-sew-no-more-fabric-glue-3-4-oz-/prd48298/
may the force be with sew.
two words…stitch witchery!
I can sew but they hand out those darn AWANA patches like candy… Like the leaders were getting paid by the patch… Oh wait… I was paying (“donating”) for patches! When my girlies were little I remember thinking that they should have the leaders sew them on… What homeschooling mom has time for weekly sewing… Surely that huge church that hosted AWANA had some little old ladies who they could enlist to sit there during AWANA and sew on patches?? Anything… When I was putting together memory boxes for them a few years back I put their vests in with three patches on one and six on the other, then I just randomly divided up the rest of the patches and threw them in the box… Someday they can sew on their own patches!
I tried once. Once. Those darn patches are so thick. And I actually can thread a needle. I just can’t push it through the patch. However, I have a mother-in-law who used to be a seamstress. She is no longer able to sew with her machine but she can still manage patches. Hooray for me! And it makes her feel useful. Win-win. But I will NOT miss the patches. Nor bringing snack, to be perfectly frank.
Liquid Stitch
can’t they earn a(nother) patch for sewing on their own patches? =o)
*like
rebecca d. has it all on the money.
I am, in fact, able to sew. And even occasionally do so. I just refuse to spend my sewing time on patches.
Hence, we have used one Cubbies vest for 3 kids. Since no patches are attached, it becomes more easily recyclable, no?
I did have a moment of guilt last night, when one particularly cute Cubbie pranced into the room with her vest full of patches, Cubbie Bear himself perched over her heart, matching hair ribbons in her curly ponytail. Then looked at my boy with his plain vest. He so does not care. I think we’re good!
Hooray for Auntie!!!! (I’m still available for adoption…)
eww…eww…staple gun!!!
Staple gun…genius. I’m sure the lumberjack has one of those.
Yep, I sew…a lot. I knew exactly what the needle threaded was when I saw it. But, I will confess that I don’t own one. It would take far too long to hunt for the thing every time I needed to thread a needle. And I’ve threaded many, many needles, so I’m quite adept now. I owe this super cool talent not to my mother, but to my dear sister. Who, like me, didn’t learn a “stitch” from my mom. She just figured it out on her own, and then took mercy on me and taugh me how to sew instead of letting me suffer while I tried to teach myself. A supremely amazing threading trick: moisten the thread first (aka lick it) then cut the tip off at about a 45 degree angle. Works for me every time, and prevents the end from splitting.
I can sew stitches (they aren’t pretty but I can do it if I absolutely have to) but I can’t sew with a sewing machine and I sooo wish I could. I have fantasies of making my own clothes (so its probably best that I can’t use a sewing machine after all). I did however make my son’s Davy Crockett vest for Halloween this year by way of awful hand stitches and my craft savior – liquid stitch. My methods, no matter how shoddy, (plus his undeniable cuteness) did the trick though because he won Best Costume at the Halloween party we went to. That’s an accomplishment I’ll take to my grave, people.
I knew exactly what that threading tool was when I saw it. My mom used to ask me to thread the needle for her all the time. I used Leslie’s trick mentioned about about cutting the thread at an angle. My dear mother would sew for us when we were children. She made us Easter and Christmas dresses every year. The Girl Scout troop I was in offered a sewing class which I happily attended (and got a patch!). I learned enough to be able to make curtains and a couple of baby blankets out of that yummy minky fabric. But alas, we sold my decrepit sewing machine a few years back in a garage sale and I “need” a new one. I have some really cute fabric I bought overseas whilst stationed in Asia with my handsome military hubs that I would love to use someday. I bet you could teach yourself how to sew using the internets and YouTube. Or you could let your daughters learn it instead. They would love to make little blankets and such for their American Girl dolls. My mom loves it when I ask her to do a little mending when she comes to visit us. She also loves to put all the loose change we save into those little rolls.
I can sew, not great but good enough. Here’s my suggestion…while Auntie Datenutloaf is in town have her teach your girls the basics and put them in charge of sewing on the patches. Home Economics-check.
Have a nice weekend!
I think Joyce is on to something here… You could even pay them a commission per patch. 🙂
I may or may not have taken my kids out of Awanas specifically because of the patches. I started homeschooling Wednesday nights and tried to make it seem really fun and way better than Awanas and NO PATCHES and I kept it up for several whole weeks.
Surely in the year 2012 they can come up with an alternative to patches?
I was just going through the torture of putting on patches and then my big boy comes home with another one. He was so happy I did it. I would pay extra money for those darn patches to be iron on. What is liquid stitch?
Liquid Stitch is fabric adhesive, and it’s the bomb. The item you use it on can actually be washed afterwards (which is not true of all fabric glue). I think every woman should be counseled to go to JoAnn’s with a 40%-off coupon and buy a bottle to have on hand. 🙂
So could this liquid glue fix the hole worn through the arm of our slip-covered couch? Could I pull the fabric together, glue it and then wash it and it would truly stay??? This might save my life!
It’s definitely worth a try! It might not last forever since the couch is a high-use item, but you could just reapply in a few months if it starts to loosen.
Thank you! I think I’m going to give it a try.
I do sew, but not very well, mostly because I don’t want to take the time to be careful. I don’t think your Auntie will mind at all, and Joyce’s suggestion is great! Hope you have a wonderful weekend!
I love to sew! When my sil isn’t borrowing my mil’s sewing machine that I “borrow” for years on end. But as much as I love to sew, I still love heat n’ bond!
I sew.
However, I do not sew by hand. Even when I make something like a purse and am supposed to stitch up the opening that I used to turn it right side out, I use my machine to close it. I hate hand stitching. Back when our big boys did AWANA, I even used my machine to sew on their patches to avoid doing it by hand. But that was before I knew about Liquid Stitch!
I iron them on and do not wash said vest patches are taking over
HA! I have the same problem. The ironing doesn’t work. I tried the liquid stitch, but then i forgot to iron after applying liquid stitch, so they fell off anyway. Then…I quit. I can’t find half the patches now. Good job me.
I have sewn, but nothing that was actually required to stay together while someone wore it. I was an AWANA leader and had to sew patches on my uniform. It looked really bad. I have never heard of liquid stitch, but now I’m going to go out and buy bunches so I can glue everything together that has to be sewn. What joy! I’ll no longer have to use staples! : )
I knew what it was. I hope we can still be friends.
My mother also does not sew and I also earned MANY girl scout patches in my day. She glued them all on with a special fabric glue- I think it was called Aileens? It was in a brownish bottle. Maybe keep this as a back up plan?
I knew what it was. I often have to use one now because I have ‘elder eyes’ that need a little help. I sewed on lots of Boy Scout patches by hand, sewed on a friend’s Girl Scout patches by machine, and others tell me hot glue will stay on if the dryer isn’t on high. Or don’t put the vest in the dryer.
NOTE: Do NOT sew all the way through the patch. What you actually do is just bring the needle up through the vest/shirt, through the threads around the edge of the patch, and back down through the vest/shirt, and so on all around the round patch. You don’t actually go through the patch at all. Patches with straight lines are great to do on the sewing machine.
I got to the point where I only sewed on four spots on the rank patches, because I knew I’d be taking them off and sewing on the next one in a few months.
There’s not much to sewing by hand: make a knot at the end of the thread, sew, make a knot at the end, and cut the thread. Have AuntieDateNutLoaf teach your girls as she teaches you!!
P.S. I love how you post on your blog at any old time of the day that you feel like it! Thank You and Good Luck with your guest!
Of course I’m cracking up right now! 🙂 It did dawn on me one evening as I’m stuffing those never ending-earned patches (seriously people, stop doing 3 lessons at a time, I can’t keep up! :D) into bags that I will have to sew them onto MY child’s vest next year. *Groan!* I was really hoping that ironing them on would work! Boo. I will be looking into this liquid stitch stuff for sure. You should buy some and tell us how it works. 🙂 Maybe they have a comments section on the Awana website that parents could share their “concerns.” Only the Cubbies earn patches anyhow… the older kids earn jewels. Maybe instead of patches, they could be buttons that one could sew on instead (if they continue on with this sewing silliness in the near future).
Buttons–pin on ones! Perhaps you could purchase some pretty gold colored safety pins. or spray paint silver ones red to match the cubbie trim! Or just quit memorizing the Bible…..but that is the point, right? Ha!
You can order glue/sticky patches from the awana website! My son’s patches were all just hanging out in the bag until I got these. They come in the same shape as the patches so you just stick the patch to it, peel it off, and stick it on the vest!
I can sew…in fact, I am great with needles. 😉 (That is a blatant reference to a particular incident in my past that I think you read about but can’t remember for sure.)
I had to put just one patch on Christian’s karate uniform and just about lost my mind. I am pretty sure I was in tears and it was not because I don’t know how to sew, but as has been stated, the patch was soooo thick that I could hardly get my needle through it and back again. I did it though, and then was told it was on the wrong place of his uniform. Pretty sure there were more tears.
I do sew, and that is a needle threader. But I have to say I’m such an expert I don’t need anything but spit to thread a needle. 🙂 Those Awana patches are QUITE annoying though. They are so tine, and stiff. We need to invent a remedy….maybe chewing gum?
I am so happy to tell you that at least your mother dearest can be blamed for your lack of domestic skills. Because I would like to make you feel better.
My motherdearest DID try to teach me to sew.
My poor motherdearest. I have not acquired any of her skills.
Especially sewing.
And I don’t want to.
I hate the Cubbies patches!
You are not alone.
My boys are in Cub Scouts and earn patches. I use “badge magic” to stick them onto their shirts. I buy mine at the Cub Scout store. But I am sure you can buy it online and maybe at Michaels. It is very inexpensive and stays on through many washings!
In addition to Liquid Stitch, there is also a glue called “Patch Attach”. You still have to iron it to make it permanent, but it is made specifically for patches and can be drycleaned (so it says). And do look up those ready made glue/sticky patches that are pre-made. some of the girl scout moms that I know swear by them.
P.S. When Ironing the badges on, Use 2 old tea towels or pieces of 100% cotton to create buffers between your ironing board and vest, and vest and iron.Some of the Girl Scout badges transferred their bright colors onto my ironing board and have ‘stained’ my other clothes.
the tomato was indeed for the pins, and i definitely remember the pins being used, but only to pop blisters, not for things like sewing….
Holla Sandy! Exactly two words: Stitch Witchery. I will be sending you some soon. But someone needs to tell the church to get a different manufacturer for those stinkin little tools of the devil. They are too small and waaaaay to thick and rubbery to sew on even for an experienced dressmaker. It may lead to very bad language and abrasive demeanor even in the most devout.