For some unknown reason, the good Lord blessed me with a husband who loves to go camping. And, along with that husband, there came an entire family . . . they also love to camp. I mean, I guess camping is alright . . . but let’s put it this way: If someone were to tell me that my husband suddenly grew a strong distaste for camping overnight and we would never go camping again,well . . . I would not shed a tear.My idea of camping is a quiet, relaxing trip. Perhaps we would sit by the fire and read? Maybe sit by the lake and read? Maybe just sit anywhere? But, no. This family I married into . . . they are too adventurous to just sit around.This is our main camping group: all of my inlaws plus my parents.
We go on hikes.
Exhausting hikes, as my husband is so aptly demonstrating.
David: Hey, Alex! Did you bring your gray Carhartts?
Alex: Of course I did, Bro!
David: Did you bring your white t-shirt?
Alex: You know it!
David: Let’s wear them for our hike!
Alex: Sounds good, big bro!
David: Did you know that I have the most wonderful wife in the world?
Alex: Yes. You are truly a lucky guy.
(Or something like that.)
We go fishing. But in order to go fishing, we are required to hikes miles upon miles (ok, maybe 2 miles) to secret, hidden mountain lakes.
Fishing is always exciting for little boys.
Fishing is, however, disgusting for my kin. As my mother, is so aptly demonstrating.
We must search endlessly for huckleberries. Oh, how I loathe the huckleberry picking. You search for hours and this is your harvest:
See? Bountiful.But, perhaps the most vexing component to this whole camping nonsense is my husband’s parachute.
What’s that? Your husband does not have a ginormous parachute that he insists on hauling around to each and every camping trip and nearly kills you each time you are FORCED to help him set it up?Well, dear readers. Allow me to share with you how a typical “parachute install” goes.1. First, I complain.2. Next, I point to the sky and challenge my husband to find me one raincloud.
This, however, is an exercise in futility. For, you see, dear readers, my husband is known by his fellow campers for his parachute. And he cannot disappoint the people.Even if his darling wife sees no point in it.3. We exchange “words.”“Words” such as this little convo from a parachute “incident” from awhile back:Me: What do I do?
LJ (short for Lumberjack . . .keep up, people!): Just hold the pole while I tie down the parachute.
Me: It’s moving! It’s moving!
LJ: That’s fine. Just hold it straight.
Me: It’s not going to hold. Kids! Everyone sit at the picnic table!
Kids: Why?
Me: So we don’t crush you.
The girls listen, the boys do not.
My parenting skills amaze even myself.
Me: David. This is going to fall.
LJ: No, it is not.
Me: Yes. It is.
Now, something has gone amiss with the parachute and it is covering my face, limiting my visibility and breathing.
Most importantly, I cannot see my children and I am holding up a huge log that is about to fall and crush my babies.
Me: It’s falling! It’s falling!
LJ: Just let it drop!
Me: The kids? Where are the kids?!
LJ: Just let it drop!
I held on for as long as I could and I pulled about 4 muscles trying to get it to stay up.
Using all my might, I was able to hold it up for about 6 more seconds, and then it came crashing to the ground.
And I did what any mature wife would do.
I unearthed myself from under the massive parachute and loudly informed my husband:
“I NEVER WANTED THIS KIND OF LIFE!”
LJ: Ha! Look everyone is staring at you now!
Yes. It was true. The whole campground was watching us.
One man was even taking pictures with his camera phone.
***
So that was fun. But, it’s true. I never did want this kind of life. Yet, here I am. A camping regular. And good news! We might have our first camping trip in a couple of weeks. Because it is so normal to go camping in April. Especially when it snowed here two days ago.
Good times, my friends. Good times.
Alright. So “C” was for Camping.
What should “D” be for?
Thoughts?
Happy Tuesday!
I loved your post and am bookmarking it. My husband’s family also loved to camp. They packed up the trailer and explored the world. Mostly because they didn’t have the money to do it any other way. My husband loves the memories but hates to camp…..I love to camp, at least I think I do, I never really got to do it growing us because we were had even less money : )
You made me laugh today! D is for……….hmmm I can’t wait to see what you come up with!
I just love your parachute story. It never gets old.
How about D for Doodie?
I never actually call it that.
Taylor I can’t stop laughing – your camping stories always tickle me to no end!!! 🙂 Happy blogging challenge – I’m participating too!
I love that the Lumberjack’s family is a camping family. It’s acted as a warning for me when I start dating the more….rustic guys.
D is for Diapers…or lack thereof. Your potty training stories were too funny. 🙂
Hmmm….D for deer meat….from Ruralville???
I’m sure you have a story for that.
I love that giant umbrella thing. Why don’t you??? I kid. Holla! 🙂
Loved that, your stories are the best! I too, do not like to camp. Neither does my family, for which I am grateful.
Divorce………hahahahah only kidding…….but after that post…and.I really wanted to be there to help you hold that thing up !!
D is for dancing, drama, doggies, daisy mae, dinner, driving, detergent, deer my oh my you are full of D things.
When you get to T I think you can use tortured.
You never fail to make me smile and stand in awe of your blogging prowess. Although, I’m not exactly sure of the definition of prowess and I do not know if I just used it appropriately and I am too lazy to look it up. Because I just don’t care that much.
However, I loved this post and I’m intrigued with this A to Z challenge thing, because as we both know, Kira is in a blogging SLUMP.
Perhaps I will join you.
But probably not.
Because I’m in a slump, remember. 😉
I almost joined in, too, Kira, because I have not blogged since 1938. Or so.
But as I was thinking about it, the deadline passed. Now I need to think of something else to motivate me to jump back in.
Good news! I looked up prowess, and that is definitely what you have.
Blogging skills (or skillz, whichever you prefer) in abundance.
The parachute is cool no matter how hard it is to put up. Of course, I would refuse to help…I would let the LJ hire another assistant and I would just supervise. Then I bet you would enjoy it more. Doncha Think??
D = Deer Head, Deer Meat
Die Hard.
D is for Dog. You have lots of dog stories.
OH! Let me second D is for dog!
D is for Dude. Little and Handsome!
D is for David. Duh. Or Daddy. (I’m secretly wanting you to retell the psycho-with-the-newborn story.)
I was going to second the Dudes, but now I need to know what is the psycho-with-the-newborn story?
Yep, I’m with you Kim. I want to hear that story too!
Me too!
OMG. Your blog is now one of my favorites. -wipes tears from eyes- You had me nodding right along until…parachute? Everything else, yup, that was my family growing up. But the *parachute*??? That takes it to a whole new level. Glad to hear no kids were harmed in that attempt at putting it up…just maybe a wee bit of your pride. Hope your upcoming trip is parachute-free (miracles might happen?) and at the very least, snow free. 🙂
Thanks for the encouragement today, Taylor.
Hilarious! Ever consider separate vacations? Plan a spa trip with some girl friends for his next camping trip.
All I can think of is the parachute game in grade school, so surely a parachute falling on your children is not a cause for great alarm???
But not seeing your children at a camp ground is absolutely terrifying, so I would be in panic right about then.
That could be me!
I know it’s hard now (camping), but your kids will look back and remember those camping days as the happiest days of their lives and they will take their kids camping, despite the grumbles.
Thanks for the laugh. Now I can go to bed and dream of giant parachutes.
Hmmm
D should be for Losing Teeth.
Wait.
How about Mice Infestation.
Oh.
Umm
Cubbies (oh, SHOOT! That shouldn’t been today!)
D is for Ding a ling, Dodo head, Dork….
All the nicknames for David that you never say!
I adore your blog! Your hilarious!!
Yeah, my idea of roughing it is Holiday Inn Express. But I can tell your husband is making a great life for his kids AND you! Visiting from AtoZ.
What a great post and what a great family! You make me laugh! The parachute is priceless. I love the camp site location – looks incredible. I really enjoy nature and the peace you can feel while enjoying it, but camping seems like so much work! You guys seem like pros though.
Thanks for stopping by my twin blog.
Stopping by from the A to Z challenge (#970)
Leigh @oneandoneequalstwinfun.com
Dang! I need your husband’s parachute for my daughter’s outdoor wedding in a month. We thought the lovely, big parachute-y type thing in the brochure was included. Wrong. $1,8000 to rent. Maybe that will help the next time you have to hold the pole.
I HATE camping. I have been once in my life and it was enough. My parents went several times a year till my mom got in such bad health. They love it. They talked me into going for my 25th birthday. It rained every single day for the 3 days we were there. I stayed in the big tent laying on their nice mattress and reading. Actually that part was pretty nice, sound of the rain all around me. But there was also bugs, mostly biting flies, I still have scars from them. Ugh, and trying to eat and I am freaked out by anything that jumps, flies, hops, etc, and its all around, you cannot get away. The last night their expensive mattress gained a nice little hole, so my stepdad slept on a sleeping bag and mom stole the raft they swore was a mattress from me. And I had to sleep in the back of the car. Believe me I had them up at 5 am packing up to take me home. They have never asked me to go again, which is lucky for them because your not supposed to say those words to your parents.
Love it! I am lucky enough to have married into a “lazy” camping family. We pitch our tent right next to the lake. No hikes involved. Dear Hubby has been nice enough even to hang a hammock up right next to the lake too. This way when Dear Hubby and all the kids go out fishing, I lay in said hammock peacefully reading:) 🙂 This does make up for all the other things that come along with 2 weeks of camping!
Does that thing protect from rain?! It has holes in it, no? I must be missing something. Or is it sun protection? I’ll tell you what. When I was a counselor at camp in VA, the counselors slept in sleeping bags beside the fire, no tents! The trees were enough cover from rain! Now? I don’t even like to walk from the house to the car for fear of a bird or squirrel pooping on me. What happened to this girl?