Allow me to illustrate with this story from Christmastime 2009.
Please. Try to contain your excitement.
So, my mom decides, on a complete whim, that she might need to start thinking about Christmas cards.
The night was December 15th . . . the night that I got that fateful call.
Mom: Here’s my plan. I’ll have all 6 of the grandkids over on Saturday. I will take a picture, make cards through Costco, and then send them out by Monday. Will that work?
Me: Sure.
Never mind that this woman does not realize how difficult it is to get multiple children to all smile in a picture.
Never mind that she does not ever know where her digital camera is.
Never mind that when she finds said camera, the batteries are always dead.
Never mind that when she replaces said batteries, the memory card is full.
Never mind that she does not know how to upload photos to her computer.
Never mind that she does not know how to upload photos from her computer to Costco.
Never mind that she does not have time to pick up cards from Costco.
The odds are stacked up against her, but technically, this can be done.
Maybe.
Next, she decides that I should just create a card using pictures I already have on hand. That way, we could get them made tonight, send them out sooner, and not have them be late to 75% of the recipients.
So, I email her a few pictures to look at.
And now, dear readers, for your entertainment, I present to you:
My Phone Conversation with Mom:
Me: Did you get the pictures?
Mom: Sort of.
Me: What does that mean?
Mom: Dang it. I see one.
Me: Ok. Will that work?
Mom: Sure.
Me: Ok. Do you want me to pick out a card for you, or would you like to pick one out?
Mom: I’ll pick one out.
Me: Ok. Go to www.costco.com
Mom: Ummm . . . I’ll just Google it.
Interruption: I am shocked that mother knows what The Google is.
Me: Why are you Googling it? That makes no sense. I just gave you the address. And it’s not even tricky.
Mom: Well, I don’t have my glasses on.
Me: Still doesn’t make sense.
Mom: Ok. I am there. Do I click on photos?
Me: Yes!
I find this encouraging.
Mom: Shoot. It wants a username and password.
I have already set her up an account in the past. I tell her what her username is. It is conveniently, her email.
I tell her what her password is. It is conveniently the same as her email password.
The only people in the world who know my parents’ passwords are Sister Meagan and I. My parents, most assuredly, have no clue.
Mom: Okay, I am in.
Me: Ok, click on photo cards.
Mom: Now it is asking me for my username and password again! Why?
Me: I don’t know, Mom. Just enter it again.
Mom: Dang. Now it says that my username is invalid.
Me: Did you type it in right?
Mom: I hate the internet. Why does it have to be so hard? I am even trying to buy something. Doesn’t the internet want my business?
So many things to be said about that statement.
Now, while I am on the phone with Ma, the Lumberjack is watching an old Office episode.
So, I start laughing because Dwight has just congratulated the firefighters on their quick response time.
Mom is mad that I am laughing.
It will take too long to explain that I am also watching tv.
The fact that I can be on that tricky internet machine and be watching tv will blow her mind.
Have you seen this Office episode?
500 (meaningless) points to you if you know who started the fire in that episode.
Mom: Grant! Bring me my glasses!
Grant is my dad.
Remember him?
He is also not technologically-savvy. Does this surprise you?
One year my mom got him an iPod for Christmas.
Why?
No one knows.
Anyways, he gets this iPod, and doesn’t use it. Then his birthday comes, in April, and he gets some iTunes giftcards. So, he has me help him buy songs and get them onto the iPod.
We get two songs loaded.
Dad: That’s good for now.
Me: Dad. You have like $98 more dollars.
Dad: I know. But that’s fine.
Me: Okay.
So, there goes my dad, out to work in the backyard, with his 2 song iPod.
Goober.
Alright.
Back to the original story at hand:
Me: Can you see the photo cards?
Mom: Yes.
Me: Which one would you like?
Mom: Ummm . . . I don’t care. Why don’t you just go with your gut?
Me: They are your cards. Shouldn’t we go with your gut?
Mom: It doesn’t really matter.
Me: Ok. What picture do you want me to use?
Mom: Go with the Kiddie Kandids one.
Me: Ok. Do you remember how awful my boys looked?
Mom: Oh, yeah! Ok. I will just take a picture on Saturday.
Me: Ok, mom. Bye.
Mom: Bye.
*****
Here’s a fact that might surprise you:
This woman can manage a large pediatric practice with 3 offices, umpteen providers, and numerous employees.
But she cannot figure out how to find Costco.com.
Here’s an even funner fact: Once, mother could not remember how to find Google. So she went to Bing and searched for it.
You can’t make this stuff up, people.
***
Alright. This is COMPLETELY off topic, but I need help. I am painting my chicken coop and trying to decide between two colors. Will you help me?
Red like this:
Or green like this:
And if it helps, this is our house:
I am wondering if green would compliment it more?
Please Advise.
Red!
So, so funny!! “Eye” say red. Excuse the broken “eye” key on my key board. “Eye” have 7 kids. Can only copy and paste “eyes” so much. Spell check saves me most of the time. Life is getting wee tricky!
red!
RED! (even though green would go better with your peach walls. hahahhaha!)
basically i love it when you talk about your parents.
OH! And Ryan the temp (is that his name?) did it! He did it!!!
red in the winter and green in the summer…what, like you can’t paint it twice a year?!
I say green. Here is what I pulled of of http://www.color-wheel-pro.com. I googled to get there! LOL
I bet you would rather have fertile chickens rather than angry BIRDS!
Color Meaning
Red
Red is the color of fire and blood, so it is associated with energy, war, danger, strength, power, determination as well as passion, desire, and love.
Red is a very emotionally intense color. It enhances human metabolism, increases respiration rate, and raises blood pressure. It has very high visibility, which is why stop signs, stoplights, and fire equipment are usually painted red. In heraldry, red is used to indicate courage. It is a color found in many national flags.
Red brings text and images to the foreground. Use it as an accent color to stimulate people to make quick decisions; it is a perfect color for ‘Buy Now’ or ‘Click Here’ buttons on Internet banners and websites. In advertising, red is often used to evoke erotic feelings (red lips, red nails, red-light districts, ‘Lady in Red’, etc). Red is widely used to indicate danger (high voltage signs, traffic lights). This color is also commonly associated with energy, so you can use it when promoting energy drinks, games, cars, items related to sports and high physical activity.
Dark red is associated with vigor, willpower, rage, anger, leadership, courage, longing, malice, and wrath.
GREEN
Green is the color of nature. It symbolizes growth, harmony, freshness, and fertility. Green has strong emotional correspondence with safety. Dark green is also commonly associated with money.
Green has great healing power. It is the most restful color for the human eye; it can improve vision. Green suggests stability and endurance. Sometimes green denotes lack of experience; for example, a ‘greenhorn’ is a novice. In heraldry, green indicates growth and hope. Green, as opposed to red, means safety; it is the color of free passage in road traffic.
Use green to indicate safety when advertising drugs and medical products. Green is directly related to nature, so you can use it to promote ‘green’ products. Dull, darker green is commonly associated with money, the financial world, banking, and Wall Street.
Dark green is associated with ambition, greed, and jealousy.
Yellow-green can indicate sickness, cowardice, discord, and jealousy.
Aqua is associated with emotional healing and protection.
Olive green is the traditional color of peace.
wow.
uh-huh
I’d go with red. It looks chicken coop-ish LOL Ours is red with white trim, like a barn.
Was that the episode where Dwight sets the fire as a “drill”?
Red!
I wonder if raising chickens will give you any blog fodder. Ha : )
Green…like goober….like you care what I think!!
Have a wonderful day!
I vote green! For one, it will match nicely. And two, a nice mossy green will not show wear as quickly as a bright red!
Green is the more practical choice and yes it will complement your house better but I still say red.
I think you should ask the chickens what they prefer. Maybe the choice of color will make a difference in the overall egg production!
Haha! Good stuff. And yeah, let the chickens decide. Holly
Haha, love those stories. Hope you have fun with your chickens – my Mom loved hers when she had them.
Red. I’m noticing a trend.
don’t chickens get all pecky with each other when they see red? Or is it only when they see blood? there is something about that….
so maybe green, with all the promoting growth and feng shui stuff.
though considering the percentage of the year that you have snow, red sure would be pretty. And you wouldn’t lose it in all your wild lands, as green might be kind of camo.
glad I could be of help.
Hello! I’m stopping by for the A to Z Challenge. I like the name of your blog. Enjoyed this post. I agree, you just can’t make some of this stuff up. Oh, I’d go with the green for the chicken coop.
Susanne
PUTTING WORDS DOWN ON PAPER
Green with fake red shutters painted on and maybe paint the door red and the corners and the trim right below the roof line and the stairs. Go wild , you will love it!
Why does it matter if it goes with your house……….aren’t you out in the boondockish area of the world?
I vote for aqua. Oh, wait. That wasn’t a choice.
Since it’s not right next to your house, I say go for whatever color turns your crank and causes your heart to swell with chicken love when you see it out the window.
Everyone needs to agree on one color! 🙂 ha
Dwight started the fire…right?
I like the green. The red sort of screams “HEY WILD ANIMALS! THE CHICKENS ARE IN HERE!!!”
I think you should go with whatever color you like best. For myself, that would be red. You probably have one you’re leaning towards though–go with that one. 🙂
I think a red chicken coop that was aged would look great!! You could have a shabby chic chicken coop. 🙂
We have a set of parents who are ridiculous about these things too. It especially drives my husband batty. I have kidded him before that we moved away from his parents just so he wouldn’t have to be their tech support anymore. What scares me about this post?! Someday, WE are going to be the parents. Ei, yi, yi… Killing self now.
Taylor, I saw this on The Pinterest From Wence All Things Come and thought of you:
http://pinterest.com/pin/153052087306586545/
I checked online and chickens see colors better than humans, and they don’t have a preferred color for egg production. So I think I would put two board out there, one red and one green. See which ones the chickens stay closer to, or walk on more…or something equally trackable. I think it’s more important which wallpaper you are going to go with inside!
Oh my. I like the red one in that photo, it looks amazing. It’s a chicken coop! Wow! However, the green one is really cool and would compliment your house. You DO want to impress the ALL the neighbors and random people who drive/walk by your house constantly…….
I think the obvious color of choice is red. Like old rustic barn red. And red seems to be the majoriity of the votes here and we all know, majority rules! Enjoyed this post. I think I laugh pretty much every time I read your blog. I’ve even read some stuff to my hubs, but he doesn’t always get it. You know how husbands are. Sometimes I am a little weirded out at how similar the happenings in our lives are though….
I laughed…out loud…several times…loudly. This was truly hilarious! And the thing is, I can SO relate to that conversation between you & your mom. My mom is the same way. She has three (yes, three) different Facebook accounts because she apparently doesn’t remember she already has one, or doesn’t remember how to sign in. Gah!! Then she wanted me to give her a FB tutorial. All I can say is I am so grateful that she’s forgotten about that…for now. It would be like beating my head against a stone wall.
I love the red. But, I could throw another idea in the mix and say that I also think that painting the chicken coop the same dark color of the shutters on your house would look very nice, very barn like, and would compliment the house very well! 🙂
Please keep the conversations coming. Makes me feel a bit more normal when I convey my weird and absurd conversations with my family at the end of each day!
Green!
I can make an arguement for both colors, but I think I would go with green. For some reason it seems like it wouldn’t fade out as much as the red?? You can’t go wrong with either choice though. My mom doesn’t even own a computer – praise God – or I would be having the same conversation nightly with her. She has email through her workplace and will not open anything from me with an attachment for fear of a virus. The attachment is usually a pic of the kids! Keep in mind, I have antivirus protection, she works at a bank so you know they have super duper antivirus protection, still she misses out on all the cuteness 🙁
Red! (It’s my favorite color.) 😉
This post had me rolling. Absolutely loved it!
Which do YOU like better. Which would be cheerier in the winter? I say red. Maybe not total red, some white or green mixed in. If uber is more properly ueber then untechsavvy relatives shall be guebers.
I vote RED, but it’s my favorite color, so I may be biased! 🙂
Beautiful house, Taylor!