And apparently, my husband had a beard. Who knew?!
The girls were fifteen months apart and life was . . . busy. I have always stayed home with the kids and, back then, the days seemed to drag on.
I forget about those days. The days of being at home with just little kids. Schedules and routines were everything to me . . . it was the only way to keep my sanity! I remember when I had just Sweet Pea, I would try and time her lunch-time feeding with a rerun of The Cosby Show. We had good times back then, the Huxtables and I.
I can’t even imagine having time to watch TV nowadays.
My friend, Amanda, and I have been friends since the first grade. When Daisy Mae was a baby, Amanda and her family moved back to our area. Amanda’s son was about 3 months older than Daisy Mae. We used to get together a couple of times a week. Everything was a huge process:
multiple highchairs
diapers
endless sippy cups
diapers
Cheerios all over the place
diaper bags
Oh! and some diapers . . .
strollers
double strollers
front packs
diapers
It was exhausting getting together, but we both needed the adult interaction.
Soon, Amanda had another little boy and then a few months later, I had Handsome Dude.
He’s always been an easy kid.
Very easy-going and even-tempered, that boy is.
So, now we had five kids between us. We would still get together, but it was no small task.
Weren’t they cute?
The astute reader might notice my stairs.
This was the house that The Lumberjack built. It was quite the process and we lived in a remodel state for seven years. And those stairs were like that for six of them. But that has nothing to do with anything, so let’s move on.
Amanda and I both became pregnant again, this time our due dates within a couple of months from each other.
She had twins. A boy and a girl. I had Little Dude.
We still would get together, but the amount of planning it took to get 8 children together was daunting.
I don’t have a picture of all eight of them together. For shame.
One day, I looked at Amanda and said:
“Hey. In four years when the youngest batches head to preschool, would you like to meet me for coffee? Just the TWO of us?!?”
And she said, “Yes!” because who doesn’t love the coffee/no children combo?
Well, dear readers. Almost four years have passed since that day and life has changed. The littlest ones will all be in preschool, but since I live forever and a day away and homeschool, our coffee date will probably not happen.
It is an epic fail on my part.
Time sure goes by fast. I never thought those days would end, and now they seem so far away. I remember the loneliness and exhaustion from being at home with little ones. It is different now-still tiring, but not as lonely. The kids are older and we have fun together.
Sometimes its not really all that fun. I cannot tell a lie. Sometimes its frustrating and includes a lot of bodily fluids, cleaning supplies, and paper towels.
But that sort of lonely feeling is gone. Did anyone else ever feel that way . . . when they were home with babies? If I found out my husband was going to work late, I would go into panic mode. Now if my husband is going to be late, it’s like:
Oh, good! More time to catch up on laundry!
Fun Fact: I ALWAYS have laundry.
So, tell me dear readers:
Do you stay at home? How old are your kids? How do you fill up your days?
Do you . . . homeschool? (Ack! Homeschool-my arch-enemy.)
Do you have a close friend you have stuck with throughout the years?
Are you able to meet your friend for coffee sans kids?
I know the days can drag on, but these years, as miserable as they sometimes can be, are so precious. God has blessed me with some pretty fantastic kids and I get to be with them everyday. It sounds INSANE, but I’m thinking that I will look back on these years and . . . miss them.
Even the homeschooling years.
Happy Friday!
I wish I knew how you felt. Having a 5 month old, I am back in the when am I ever going to sleep again phase. I didn’t go to the movies last night because 8 pm is too late for me… 🙂 sigh…..
My best friend from high school and I have just decided to start having dinner together once a month. We live close, but we both teach and she has kids, so it takes a real effort. But, I even though I have close friends who I haven’t had all my life, the ones who knew you way back when are something special.
Our first two were 18 months apart and then the last two were only 364 days apart. Four was a handfull. Thank God they are now all grown and gone with little ones of their own and we all survived somehow.
Yes, you will miss these days. I know I do. In fact, sometimes when my not-so-small kids have not-so-small problems, I find myself longing for the days when diapers and pacifiers were what I worried about.
On the other hand, we can have fun and go out together without someone screaming/crying/pooping/napping, etc.
And no more babysitters either on the rare occasions when hubby and I want to go out! That’s always a plus. Although I’m not sure what all goes on with the older and younger siblings while I’m gone. And if nothing’s broken and no one is unconcious, I don’t ask!
No children, no close friends I see weekly even………I email daily with two girls I went to school with from kindergarten through high school. I am fine with just me and my husband and dog. Dogs are so easy compared to all you go through with kids.
I have never regretted not having children……….I do not think I am responsible enough to raise children. I know you are saying, well a lot of folks aren’t responsible enough to have children…but they do anyway.
I guess I think I am responsible enough NOT to have children I don’t think I could do justice to raising.
I see so many unwanted unloved children out there. They are passed from here to there, parents divorced . Your children will never know that……thanks to you !
You are funny and the kids are a never ending story of highjinks and antics…..(yah, that ‘s a little old school talk there) you are fun to read. Enjoy your day and life.
I love having my kids home full time…most of the time. But you’re right – it does put a cramp in my own social life at times. Fortunately, many of my friends also homeschool and so we are able to get together as long as we all are willing to deal with many children underfoot.
It’s a good life! Even without the freedom to go to the gym during school hours, or meet a friend for coffee.
The perfect Letter L. I loved reading your post. That was a lot of questions, so I’ll try to answer them all. I have 5. They are ages 12-17. Yes, I stay at home but that is because I work from home. I used to homeschool when they were all much younger, and I miss that time so much. It’s funny, the school system was better back then, now it’s horrible – especially middle and high school.
I do have a friend that has stuck by me and I by her through the years. We do see each other but it is few and far between. Lucky for her, she works around the corner from my house so I see her about once a month NO kids for about 30 minutes while we woof down a bread co. sandwich and a coffee. I treasure that time though and it took us a long time to get to this point.
Again, I loved your post!
Aww, I just wrote about my best friend yesterday. We haven’t seen each other in years but talk on the phone almost everyday. Doesn’t matter how you keep up, just the fact that you still do.
These are still some of my favorite memories! We had a grand time, didn’t we? Those pictures are so sweet! Next time we are all together we will have to get a picture of all 8!
My best friend is older than I am and her kids are ten years older than mine. I had my kids in my thirties, so most people my age have kids way older anyhow. The baby years were SO LONELY.
Now, my kids are 7 and 5. I homeschool my kids and my husband works full-time from home. The only time I am alone is if I go to the grocery store by myself.
But the other day, I realized that my son is SEVEN now. In ten years, we will be talking about college. And that doesn’t seem like enough time.
coffee date by phone, highly recommended. Especially when bffs are hundreds of miles away. I am just thankful that I am not trying to do this stay-at-home, school-at-home deal before modern communications. I cannot imagine the crazy loneliness that my great grandma had to deal with out on the empty prairie, homesteading. ugh. her sister came by train to visit once a year. The other 50 weeks were filled with boys, wind and either dust or mud. I will take my friends in real time, even if it’s only long distance!
I have 2 sons who are 21 and 16. Both still live at home. I miss the days of cartoons and pb&j and playdates and lessons. I begged to have another baby but I am 42 and my husband thinks I am ridiculous for even asking.
I have a few close friends but due to jobs and distance, we rarely see each other. We text though.
Someday you might miss these days so I say to enjoy them, they fly by. Feel free to cyber slap me.
I so remember my early days of mothering being lonely. I called my poor mom all. the. time. I lived hundred of miles away. That made it worse. Now, I’m surrounded all day by 7 kids between the ages of 11 and 16 months. It’s crazy, tiring, at times panic-inducing, wash-FULL, smelly, fun, funny, precious, rewarding, bitter-sweet . . . . and not a thing would I change. When they are grown and gone I KNOW I will miss these days. It ALMOST makes me want to have an 8th, just to put that “grown and gone” thing off. How quiet my house will be. Yuck. I thank the Lord for my job ~ noise, dirt and all!
I still have friends from toddler days. Now my girlies are all grown up with apartments of their own. Sigh.
Hi we have 7, aged 7 and under and homeschool. Love ur blog, thanx for amusing me for a while now! I was thinking about the lonely years today and how nothing seems as hard as it ALWAYS used to!! We have a 15 mth gap with our first two and I remember thinking ‘ what have I done!?’ it’s all good now tho, even the arch-enemy home ed!! (why does that seem a fitting description?) And time is flying by… Must mean we’re enjoying it, eh?! Xxx
Thanks for writing a post Taylor-made for me. (Tailor/Taylor – get it? Ha!)
I am in the toddler stages (mine are 3 and 1) and as much as I love being a mom, some days are a struggle. This week has been full of those days and this post was a great encouragement.
“The years fly by but the days. last. forever.”
That was my motto regarding the 0-5 years. And you’re right – I miss so much about them. But not the part where you never get enough sleep and can’t go to the bathroom by yourself. I don’t miss that at ALL.
My first 2 were also 15 months apart. They’re 16 and 17 now. I also have a 12 year old. But those days when they were little were some of the happiest days. The neighborhood where we raised our kids when they were little was a real family neighborhood. Lots of kids. All the Mom’s got along. We could always count on a neighbor to watch the kids if you had to run to the store for a minute. I wouldn’t have traded it for anything.
Visiting via the A-Z challenge. Happy blogging!
Bev @ Blue Velvet Vincent
That’s not a beard.
THIS is a beard: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150761988851532&set=t.1163015981&type=3&theater
My eldest, May, turns seven this coming Tuesday. As she was my first baby I attended antenatal classes, to prepare for the birth. I met two lifelong friends in these classes. All three of us had baby girls within a few weeks of each other and met once a week at each other’s houses for a playdate and lunch. For two years we met up together, watching the girls develop from lying on their backs eating their feet to haring around the house creating havoc (at which point we used to laughingly ask each other, “Hey! do you remember back when we used to be able to have conversation?!”) Then we all moved away. I moved the furthest – 250 miles, to be precise! I miss our weekly meet-ups, and the chance to compare notes, cry on each other’s shoulders and have a good laugh at ourselves. There was something special about watching the three girls grow up together. I’ve made new friends now, and meet regularly with them, and love watching the children interact with other children. I don’t feel lonely – I wish I had the chance!
Oh, how I would give anything for one of those days. My youngest is about to be married and I honestly can’t believe it’s passed so quickly. Yes, those days were oft lonely and I thought I’d lose my mind on more than one occasion. I remember my mother and her neighborhood gal pals calling each other mid morning and mid afternoon, asking “Are you ready for coffee?” during their housework routines and they’d toddle over to on another’s house. This is how they kept their sanity before Starbucks. I tell you this, I’d give anything to have had the peace and serenity that grandparenthood bestowed on me back then. Life would have been so much easier.
My friend and I have been trying to plan an outing just for us ever since our children were born five years ago. Nope, hasn’t happened yet. We’re still holding out hope… 😉
I stay at home with my two kids, who are 2 and 5. It’s challenging, as you know, and sometimes I get a little lonely. But I have tons of friends online who are in similar situations–*waves to them all*–and that makes it all a little easier.
Fun post! Love the pics. 🙂
Maybe it’s from teaching first grade for so long. Sometimes it even gets lonely in a classroom! Anytime you can peek your head out or another grown up peeks their head in you want to strike up an adult conversation. Hang in there. I can tell you it’s wonderful to reach different levels of relationships with your kids. Mine are grown and I love remembering the childhood days, but the adult friendship days are wonderful…along with the grand parenthood days!
I have four crazies, ages 10, 5, 15 months, and brand spankin’ new. I fill my days up with them. Then they go to bed and I fill my nights with bad reality TV and reading entertaining blogs until way past my bedtime. I don’t homeschool. I won’t even pretend I have the patience for that. My older kids are in school on IEPs and they receive special services. I can’t give them those services at home and our insurance doesn’t cover it. Going to school just makes more sense for us.
I’m an Army wife and currently all alone in the local friend department. I’m just at a point where all my friends are far away. My best friend and her husband are in Germany right now. She’s been by my side since back in the day when I only had one crazy and our husbands were deployed together. We were supposed to be there in Germany with them but then the Army changed it’s mind and set hubby somewhere else, minus us. I don’t really ever feel like I’m alone. I’m way too busy to think about it too often. My best friend calls me in the middle of the night since that’s day time for her. Since the crazies are sleeping we actually get to have real conversations without being interrupted 412 bajillion times. It works out well. Aside from sleepless nights I would not trade a minute of this.
Thank you for sharing your daily adventures! They are so amusing and something I can totally relate to.
I have 3 kids, almost 6, 3 and 5 months. I’m never lonely now and when there is only the baby and I at home I love it. I also love it with the six year old comes home from school and tells me all about her day and the three year old comes home from pre-school to tell me who his best friend was that day. I do recall the early days being in a new country on my own through the day with my 9 month old for company and desperately wishing to be back at work to get away from the monotony, however, I came to terms with the realisation that I had the choice to stay at home and experience the years until the kids went to school; others didn’t have that luxury. I’m so pleased I did and I wouldn’t change a thing. I’ve made so many of my good friends over the last 5 years from playgroups and preschool….and yes, I do get to meet them on occasion for dinner in the evenings without kids. All I can say is, bliss!
I have 3 kids, almost 6, 3 and 5 months. I’m never lonely now and when there is only the baby and I at home I love it. I also love it with the six year old comes home from school and tells me all about her day and the three year old comes home from pre-school to tell me who his best friend was that day. I do recall the early days being in a new country on my own through the day with my 9 month old for company and desperately wishing to be back at work to get away from the monotony, however, I came to terms with the realisation that I had the choice to stay at home and experience the years until the kids went to school; others didn’t have that luxury. I’m so pleased I did and I wouldn’t change a thing. I’ve made so many of my good friends over the last 5 years from playgroups and preschool….and yes, I do get to meet them on occasion for dinner in the evenings without kids. All I can say is, bliss!
When the kids are gone you will indeed be lonely, and get together with your friends for coffee and talk about the kids. One never recovers from being a mother.