X is for eXasperating

No.  That’s totes not cheating either.

I am feeling cranky today . . . eXasperated, if you will.  Here is a list of all the irksome things that are irking me today.

1.  I haven’t been sleeping well.  I blame Peter the Cat.  He has been attacking my head in the night, because, apparently, my head is a ferocious beast.

Have you ever been sound asleep and have a kitten, who imagines himself to be a fierce lion, pounce on your head?

It’s a treat.  Please experience it immediately.

2.  I cannot be certain, but we all might be getting sick.  This is never fun.

3.  Somebody stole the lawn mower from our rental house.

Hooligans.

4.  I have to drive the truck into town tonight.  This is always stressful for me.  Remember the last time I had to take the truck?

5.  The chickens keep getting out.  I find this quite vexing.  I wouldn’t care, but Tank and Miley, our faithful dogs, find it to be their duty to slaughter all chickens.

One chicken has died, two have been saved, albeit slightly chewed on.

6.  I have been cleaning our rental.  Cleaning up after other people in a house that used to be your own is always disconcerting.  I found some “questionable paraphernalia.”

And we’ll just leave it at that.

7)  The kids keep closing the door to the bathroom where the kitten’s litter box is.  Thusly (is thusly a word?  I care not), the kitten has been leaving me special presents around the house.

You know what’s fun?  I found poop on the floor by the toilet and I had to try and ascertain whether it was:

A)  Little Dude

B) Handsome Dude

C)  Tank

D)  Miley

E)  Peter

That was quite the investigation, let me tell you.

So.  I am going to make some tea with honey to soothe my poor, scratchy throat and show you some pictures.

Please try and feign interest.

From Left to Right:  Miley, Peter, Little Dude, and Sweet Pea.

Pop Quiz Hot Shots:  How many items can you find in this picture that AREN’T put away?  Which is odd since the children assured me all their messes had been cleaned up.

Fun Fact:  Little Dude walks around the house repeat/shouting:

“Children (except it sounds like “Trilldren”) obey your parents in da Lord.”

And, yet, he does not.  Ever.  Nope.

Daisy Mae and I are trying out a new curriculum for grammar, as if her life could not be any more exciting.  She begged and begged all morning to do it.

So, we did it.  And at one point she had to use a dictionary and I don’t think her day could have gotten much better.

Me:  Why are you so happy?

Daisy Mae:  I just LOVE dictionaries!

I know, I know.  It’s probably because she is homeschooled.  Note to self: need to get the child out more.

Alright.  That’s all I got.  Aren’t you glad you made the trip over to my blog today?  I didn’t waste your time at all, did I?

Tell me, dear readers:

1)  Got any plans for the weekend?  We are (surprise, surprise) working on more fencing.

2)  Do dictionaries rock your world?

3)  Have you ever had a kitten attack you at 2am?

4)  Do you like driving ginormous, fickle trucks with a manual transmission and four “spirited” children?

Later gators.

 

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29 Responses to X is for eXasperating

  1. Marian says:

    Oh, even when you’re sick you are hilarious! It’s never a waste of my precious time when I come to read your blog. So so funny!!
    Hope you feel better soon!

  2. Donna says:

    I am going to see my 8 month old grandson this weekend and go to my niece’s baby shower. I just put a Pack and Play together, and a highchair… I’m pretty pleased with myself.
    I like to read dictionaries. You can leave it at any spot and pick it up again without forgetting the characters or plot.
    Yes, to the kitten ambush.
    Only once to the manual, pretty huge truck and that was with only my newborn and we had to ditch the truck and walk a mile home in the rain. The truck eXpired. My son stayed eXceedingly dry under my coat. I was eXasperated and eXhausted.

  3. Katie says:

    My cat, Delilah, snores so loudly. And she wakes up scared, so there have been many, many attacks!

  4. I don’t mean to add to your woes but . . . you need to add a second litterbox posthaste because cats that learn to pee/poop outside the litterbox?

    Never, ever unlearn it.

    Ask me how I know.

    And how much the replacement carpet was.

    As for kittens attacking your head – close the bedroom door Taylor.

  5. Christi says:

    Kittens dont always outgrow this habit. My cat George is turning 4 in June and in the middle of the night he will attack my poor hubbies head. Me, he just gets on my chest leans real close to my face and meows as loudly as possible. Scares me, scares the cat when I jump and yelp, scares hubby. Oh yeah fun fun fun. And why does he meow in my face or attack hubbies head you ask? Because he wants a treat, in the middle of the night, or its 530 am and he is on a schedule (he made up his own we didnt have anything to do with it) and he wants his breakfast. Or its storming and he wants under the blanket, or pretty much anytime hes awake and wondering why we arent.

  6. Shannon says:

    1) Going to my cousin’s boy’s 18th birthday party, which is weird because he was a baby just the other day 🙁 and shopping 🙂

    2) Dictionaries are awesome, so glad they are on the internets now. The best ones have the history of the words. Fun fact: My grandma didn’t have tv, so when my cousins and I would visit we would read her 20-year-old encyclopedias.

    3) When we had kittens in the summer, they would use my legs as mountains and leave lovely horizontal scratches up and down my legs.

    4) Love manual transmissions, hate parking anything larger than those little teeny tiny Nissans.

    PS: I’m glad I’m not the only one with a life-sized dog-scented pillow for the kids.

  7. When I was a student I shared a house with four other Christian girls. Some folks at the church we all attended were going on holiday and asked US to look after their two kittens – Abundance and Splodge.

    Don’t ask.

    It was decided that Muggins here (that would be me), despite having the smallest ‘bedroom’ in the house – (I reckon it was actually a cupboard with an outside window) – was volunteered (read coerced) to mind the little furballs overnight. I soon discovered, like you, that kittens like to sit on your head. I woke up in the morning with my ears full of fluff, through which I could hear contented purring noises.

    I feel your pain.

  8. I like that your daughter reads from the dictionary. When my son was a baby, I read to him out of the dictionary. It was a new parent mistake. I’ve created a monster. 😉

  9. Andrea says:

    1. Going to my EX-inlaws (cuz they like me better than my current ones–it’s just their son I can’t get along with) to help my sons’ grandpa put in a stone pathway, because they are a nice family and deserve help.

    2. Used to sit and read dictionaries all the time for fun!

    3. We adopted Lucy, a 12 year old (at the time) long-haired tortoise-shell cat, 3 years ago. Didn’t know much about her. Well, the first night I discovered she has a habit of head-butting one in the middle of the night, right in the face. Repeatedly. This is her way of saying “Oh I love you thank you so much for adopting me thank you thank you thank you!” I guess. Three years later, she still head-butts me every night for at least 5 minutes.

    4. Grew up on a farm, but you’re not gonna catch me driving a grain truck. I DO know how to drive a stick–that was what my first 3 cars were. Got 4 kids and yes, they are a bit rowdy to travel with in ANY type of vehicle. 🙁

  10. Liz says:

    Dictionaries ARE the best! Don’t let Daisy Mae find out about the Oxford English Dictionary–unless you want to pay about a bajillion dollars to own it. Or you want to visit England to see where it’s made (seeing the Oxford University Press may or may not have been a highlight of the study abroad program I went on a few summers back).

  11. Summer says:

    My child has also being talking about obeying his parents and doing the opposite…

  12. Ada says:

    I’m hoping to get some yardwork done this weekend. Usually I go out there with good intentions and high hopes. Then see ALL that needs to be done and feel overwhelmed and end up sitting while my sweet husband does some work and I complain about how much work there is to be done. Makes tons of sense, right. I shall try not to do that this weekend.

    Who doesn’t love a dictionary. You should encourage this. Perhaps she will go to college when she is 16 and if not she could use the knowledge for trivia games in pubs. Hee hee

    Feel better pretty lady!

  13. Christina says:

    Never have to feign interest!!
    “Questionable paraphernalia”?! Yikes!
    Yes, there is never a dull moment in your life, it seems!

  14. Joyce says:

    I don’t know where to begin here. I do not have cats or chickens or little boys. I do have a husband who travels too much and he lands in the early a.m. so we’ll go out for breakfast, run a few errands and he’ll likely have a nap on the couch.

    I recommend you do the same : )
    And hire a cleaning service for that rental!

  15. JoAnn says:

    woman. Lock that kitten in the kitty room at night. ARE YOU INSANE?!?! And don’t forget to spay/neuter it. Not both, but you know. I still haven’t spayed my cat (shhh) even after the fateful “In Heat” incident. I haven’t found the time and the mostly free clinic never answers the phone. And you better get another litter box or lock the cat in the room with the litter box or something. I don’t know if this bodes well for Peter’s future with you, but it is very very very bad if you find kitty poop/pee around the house. VERY BAD.
    Now that I’ve added to your stress and woe (you’re welcome) let me shout at you.
    Anyway. GET A CLEANING SERVICE (she shouts).

  16. Suzanne says:

    Why yes, Taylor I have. I’ve also had one pee on my head in the middle of the night. Lesson learned 🙂

    Dictionaries do not rock my world but this blog is pretty cool

  17. Kim says:

    I’m with Sweet Pea, I love dictionaries, ooooooo, just wait until you introduce her to the thesaurus, happy sigh! I used to have a monsterous dictionary/thesaurus combo, but my hubby made me get rid of it and use the Internet instead. I miss the paper version.

  18. Easy peasy on the cat box issue: Install a little kitty door with a flap on it. Problem solved. Don’t get the “chubby cat” door, because a 60 pound dog and/or child can fit through it.

    Ask me how I know.

  19. Ruth says:

    Sorry you are feeling sick. Would you do an experiment for me? Put an uncut onion in a bowl on the counter and see if you all don’t feel sick anymore. Something I read said that onions (uncut even) absorb bacteria in the air. You might need several around a big room…
    Yes, get a cleaning service for the rental. Or at least look at the price of a cleaning service for the rental.
    Great suggestions on the Peter problem.
    I LIKE reading dictionaries!

  20. Holly says:

    My Dear Miss Taylor. Same problem here with the door being closed that led to the little box (in my laundry room). Solution….cut 5×7 hole in bottom of door, then stick a 5×7 frame over the hole. It’s quite a conversation piece and no more turds on the carpet. You’re welcome.

  21. Holly says:

    Of course I meant litter box, not little box.

  22. Jody says:

    I had a dog like that. I had a queen size water bed and when I went to bed at night he was by my feet. In the morning he would be on my hear!

  23. Dana says:

    The cat that lives in this house also leaves presents. I always remind DH that the cat is his. Problem solved. 😉

  24. datenutloaf says:

    Felines are nocturnal. You are supposed to consider yourself blessed by his attention. Sorry you’re cranky – it’s inevitable when you don’t feel well. You probably need a little getaway for yourself and then you won’t see all the things out of place and chores to be done. But, you probably won’t get that. How bout dogs on a leash that don’t reach chickens? I don’t know anything about raising chickens. We had a pretty strong earthquake at 8:12 this morning. Always a concern if there’s a bigger one coming… take care of yourself. Yes, I love dictionaries!! I recognize that shirt DM’s wearing.

  25. rebecca d says:

    Weekend plans you ask? Be prepared for your world to be rocked… The local farm equipment place was having an open house and even though we don’t farm, or even live in something that resembles one we had to go… (We live in a ranch style house in a subdivision… btw) What does this mean for me on this sunny but COLD day? Following my husband around for hours watching demo after demo of equipment we have no need to own while he drools… A “free” lunch of partially grilled hot dogs and stale chips that we waited in a hugely long line for and then I am the one who has to go up to every vendor to see what little junk they are giving away free or to put our name in for their drawing… Yep, it’s such a chic life here in nowhere Maine… Tonight, because I am suicidal I invited company to dinner… She is a professional chef… I am not… What was I thinking for goodness sake???

  26. Actually, I quite like dictionaries. However, as a younger child I must confess that my primary purpose in consulting one was to look up dirty words. I had a twin brother and I’m pretty sure he was to blame for that. And as for my weekend plans, they’re wildly exciting. I’ll be watching my hubby power wash the driveway. And why am I ‘watching’ and not ‘doing’? Because me and the power washer exchanged some serious words and have agreed to amicably part ways. At least that’s my story.
    Hope you’re feeling better! 🙂
    Mindy
    http://www.thesuburbanlife.com

  27. All I gotta say is while you’re in town get a couple bottles of wine. Or four. And a LARGE glass. Walmart has a oversized brandy glass in their large flower vase section. Perhaps you should get that one. 🙂

  28. Emily says:

    I’m a nerd – I like to “read” the dictionary. It all started in college when, as an English education major, I had to read part of it for a class. And I learned all kinds of things. And it felt good to feel a little bit intelligent. To make up for my total lack of athletic ability. Which to say it is non-existent would be exaggerating!

  29. datenutloaf says:

    I was so heartened to learn of all your readers who love dictionaries. I read mine and I was told I was a nerd dweeb. I collect compound words like asphalt. Holla! I used to have a set of encyclopedias that I got rid of because of internet and they were out of date. But I miss going through them. Also, I don’t understand about 2 litter boxes. I never needed that – but I didn’t have as big a house as yours. Hope you feel better quickly.

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