Z is for The Zoo

When we first moved out here, we had Mabel.

Three months later, Mabel died of kidney failure.  We were all very sad-Mabel had been with us for ten years.

To cheer the kids up, we got Lucy.

Oh, don’t let that cute puppy face fool you.  That dog turned into nothing but trouble.  She quickly earned the nickname: “LucyFur.”  Do you get it?  Do you get it?

LucyFur was a wild beast that could not be tamed.  She was running around the “neighborhood” (and I use the term “neighborhood” quite loosely) chasing horses and cows and all sorts of large, expensive animals that owners tend to get a bit sensitive about.  We had to find a new home for Lucy before she got shot.

So, in short, we used to be a one pet family.  Not quite sure how this happened, but we currently have 70-80 animals.

Let us take a tour of Le Zoo Maliblahblah, shall we?

First, we have rabbits.  And lots of them.  Currently, we have 40, but at one point we had around  120.  Because, have you met my husband?  He is insane.

The kids and I have gotten to loathe the rabbits.

Rabbits are freaky.  If you think rabbits are all sweet, kind, and innocent, well, you have been misinformed my friend.

You have been misinformed.

The dads eat the babies.

The moms will eat the babies if the baby has a problem.

If the mom is hungry, cold, or scared, she will abandon her litter.

And then eat them.

They rip their hair out to create nests, sometimes drawing blood.

I’m telling you.  It’s horrifying over here.

Plus, we are plum sick of them.

But for some reason, my husband dreams of being a rabbit farmer.  Because, haven’t you heard?  Farming rabbits brings you great wealth and prestige.  The problem is that our rabbits aren’t breeding.

?

We are simply at a loss as to how to encourage such amorous activities between rabbits.  Perhaps we need to play some Marvin Gaye songs to help set the stage?

But don’t worry.  We take good care of our rabbits, even though we loathe them.

See?  Nothing but smiles.

Oh, and we totes don’t eat them.  We sell them.  Did you really think I could eat rabbit?  Hmmm?

Hmmm?

Next up is chickens.

I kind of like the chickens.  They are pretty low maintenance.  I have yet to touch one, however, as I find their wing-flapping to be a bit unsettling.

They do leave me lovely presents everyday.

Of which I am too disturbed to eat, because, have you heard?  I was never meant for country life.

We had turkeys for about a week.

But they were disturbing, to say the least.  They are in the freezer, which is better than their previous position of guarding the eggs and threatening us with instant death, what with their freaky, blue heads and slimy, dangly things.

Of course, I won’t be able to eat the turkeys.  But I am sure someone will.

And what is a farm without your trusty dogs?

We have the world’s laziest dogs-a nice change from LucyFur.

Tank

Miley

And don’t forget Peter the Cat!

We also have a goldfish but this post has gone on long enough and I have no ambition to find a picture.

So, there you have it.  A zoo.

How many animals do you have?

Happy Monday!

 

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to Z is for The Zoo

  1. Sarah Nowak says:

    I love your blog. In many ways it is my life, except the living in the woods with no neigbors. I have my in-laws right next door….. We have currently 6 rabbits because my soil scientist of a husband has also gone crazy and we too plow rabbit poo into our garden. And his newest thing is that he wants chickens. His bargaining plee it will keep the dog in our yard instead of down the street chasing the neighbors chickens. Hmm. We also are down to 2 cats because the evil one went out one day about 7 weeks ago and has not returned. I’m still not convinved that he is gone for good.

  2. Katie says:

    Completely cracked up at playing some Marvin Gaye for the rabbits! Needed that laugh today!

  3. Angela Fehr says:

    Since our two cats disappeared at Christmas, we have zero! Except for the mouse in the trap under the kitchen sink. Totally don’t want to deal with that right now.
    All my friends are getting critters. Chickens, horses, llamas (why don’t you have a llama?) and my nephews and niece raise orphan calves. Feels a little weird not to be raising some kind of livestock, but every time I ask my hubby (because I am easily pressured), “Do you think we should have chickens?”, he laughs hysterically and says something to the effect of “Have you met yourself?” I’m so thankful he sees me as incapable of being a sturdy farm wife.

  4. I didn’t know you got more dogs! I missed a post somewhere. I’m glad you found a “home” for your turkeys. We just have one dog and a 15″ bearded dragon (lizard) that we feed crickets and worms and stuff. Great boy pet!

  5. I have four inside my house and another at a nearby stable and I used to think that was a lot until you became Mrs. Dr. Dolittle.

  6. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Love the pick of Daisy Mae! She looks SO not impressed!

    I don’t have a zoo … I have a menagerie – and THAT’S just the kids! LOL!

  7. Brandi Dilley says:

    Ok girl – after reading this – I am so thankful I didn’t buy those furry baby eating things from you . That would have surely given Jocelyn nightmares for life . Whew dodged a bullet there ! LOL. Sorry about your Zoo though . 🙂

  8. Rachel Spin says:

    We have dos gatos who live indoors. And we feed the outdoor birds to for entertainment. So glad that your new dogs are working out.

  9. Donna says:

    We did most of this in our younger years. Now we just sit home and watch others try it!

  10. Stacy says:

    When you “sell” the rabits are they already butchered?

  11. datenutloaf says:

    You need a cow. PROFESSIONALLY butchered. Better than grocery store. Pigs too. I have owned and raised 18 cats. Currently have none – apartment situation. Now you can make things that use lots of eggs, angel food cakes and quiches… Freeze cakes for gifts and get-togethers. Make custards and puddings for yer pa who would so loveth and cherisheth you. Hope you’re feeling better now. Did the onion work? idea for blog: tell us about apple cider vinegar.

  12. Ada says:

    Marvin Gaye! Yes, please do it. Start playing it when LJ is at work so he comes home to Mr. Gaye blaring through your acreage. Hahahaaaaa!
    In addition to the fun you will have, you will also get a great post out of it.
    Hahahahahaaa.
    I also laughed out loud that someone called you Mrs. Doolittle. Hee hee

    We only have one dog. We had two, but she bit the baby girl’s face one too many times for the overprotective daddy and she was given a new home. We also had two hermit crabs and two beta fish. All which someone killed. I will not take the blame for that. Nor will anyone else in my house. Perhaps I should find a new home for our remaining dog. We seem to not be good with pets.

  13. Marian says:

    Hmmm…how many animals? 1 dog, 1 fish, and one rabbit…oh just wait! We just ‘took care’ of him over the weekend. He was not fairing well, so the kids contacted Uncle and asked him if he had any leftover bunnies. He was more than willing to part with one! So the old rabbit’s dead (don’t tell the kids, they think we let him go to happy hunting grounds), the cage has been disinfected, and now we are ready for a cute little bunny!
    Oh the things we do for our kids, really!
    Love that picture of your girl holding the bunny…she’s gonna look just like you when she’s all growed up!
    Yeah for making it to ZZZZZ! I really hope you keep posting every day though!! Love it.

  14. Jessy S says:

    So are you selling your eggs? Because I will totally buy some if you are 🙂

  15. Alesia says:

    Lets see:

    1 Rottweiler named Nikko
    1 Pit bull/boxer mix named Karma
    1 Cat named Marco
    2 bearded dragons: Mooshoo and Feugo
    2 Fancy mice: Not sure of what their names are today. My daughter changes them daily.

    Combine all that with 2 16 year old girls and 2 granddaughters and there is NEVER a dull (or quiet) moment.

  16. Christi says:

    Well I feel a little inadequate lol, I only have one animal. I psychotic cat named George. He is enough believe me. I got up this morning to find my seat on the couch had been covered by a bunch of his toys. We keep them in a plastic flower pot by his bed so he can get them out when he wants them. Well apparently some time last night he decided he wanted them in my seat.

  17. Leah says:

    I have a 10 year old daughter, I don’t need pets. We had a hamster, but the dumb thing died half in/half out of his tube and I had to shake him out of there and bury him. She now wants a bunny but heck no! We rent so that’s my reason we can’t but really it’s because her and her dad always stick me with caring for it. No thanks.

  18. Christina says:

    No animals. I have had too many unpleasant experiences with animals to have one (or sixty).
    Right now, we do have an uncountable number of tiny fruit fly things, or gnats, or I don’t know what they are. But I would not consider them pets, rather pests; I kill them as I can.

  19. Deb says:

    FORTY RABBITS?!?!?

    Holy crap on a cracker, Teller.

    I have zero pets. It is my most fervent wish to remain this way. Especially after I read these rabbit/chicken/turkey posts.

    gah.

  20. Lisa says:

    Okay, the picture of the rabbit smiling just about did me in! HahaHA!!!

    I am also cracking up that I posted my “Z”, then came over here to check out yours, and we both did ZOO!

  21. Lazy dogs are definitely the best kind of dogs.

  22. VAGirl says:

    Beautiful eggs!!! I’m jealous you have a green egg layer.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *