Ok. Hello? Hello? Do you remember me? I used to blog here, but then my husband created this ginormous garden, you see, and, well, the garden is killing “free-time Taylor.”
I better reap some delicious produce, I’ll tell you that right now.
Weeds.
My fingernails have dirt all up inside them and it will be there for all eternity, I just know it. My pointer finger on my right hand has lost nerve cells or something and even typing out this very pointless post in which you are currently reading is bringing me a bit of strife.
It is a good thing I am hearty ranch wife and not dramatic at all, isn’t it?
I need help, folks. My husband planted the garden and then he put a stake (not steak. Homophones! They get you every time!) and stuck the seed packet on the top.
Like so:
But herein lies the problem:
The wind doth bloweth many of the seed packets away. This has resulted in:
The Great Garden Mystery of 2012
Because, have you heard? This is my first garden and I am an ignorant fool. So, would you, kind reader, take a moment to help me ascertain what it is I am growing? Por favor?
Let us go through each plant. And I expect you to feign excitement. I am typing this out with my injured weed-pulling finger and all. The least you could do is act like you care.
1) Cantaloupe
This one is a no-brainer. Wanna know why? Because I planted it. And the wind didn’t blow my little cheat sheet away.
Neener, Neener, Lumberjack.
2) This one is possibly zucchini.
What say you?
3) I am going to go with cucumber on this one? Thoughts?
4) I am fairly certain on this one:
Pumpkin. Of the pie persuasion.
Please don’t tell me otherwise. It will totally rock my world.
5) This one is a mystery.
We are thinking we planted broccoli, cauliflower, and watermelon somewhere, but have yet to find them in our finely weeded garden that has no sticks whatsoever.
So perhaps the mystery plant is one of the missing plants?
Yes?
No?
Yes?
6) We have two different types of lettuce. For we are uEber healthy.
Look! It is hay! For to smother any more weeds that might try and ruin my summer!
Ha!
Taylor: 1
Weeds: 0
7) Spinach.
BAM!
Nailed it.
8 ) Cilantro
9) This one was a mystery . . .
until I used the power of “The Google Images” and decided that it was . . . wait for it . . . wait for it . . .
carrots!
Look at me and my produce identifying self!
10) Sugar snap peas
This is by far our most producing crop. I sure hope we like them.
11) Green Beans
Those little beauties are the primary reason I bought a pressure canner. My mother in law scared the snot out of me with her stories of “Green Bean Botulism.”
Maybe I will just feed them all to the rabbits. That will solve two of my problems in life.
Botulism. Check.
40 billion rabbits. Check.
Kidding! Or am I?
12) Corn!
That was an easy one.
13) Strawberries
14) Blueberries
15) Tomatoes
Fun Fact: Our family doesn’t eat tomatoes.
True story.
16) Raspberries
17) Blackberries
The garden is right next to the rabbits’ new locale. And while I am weeding, which is hardly EVER, sometimes I get a glimpse of some little babies.
And zoom.
And zoom. (Yes. I got photog skills. Or skillz. Whichever you prefer.)
Yes! It is true! Our rabbits have finally, *ahem*, started doing what *ahem* rabbits do. And we didn’t even have to pump out some Marvin Gaye to help them along! Win!
***
Before I go, I thought I would share a couple of cute pictures of the children that I took today.
You’re welcome.
Sweet Pea reading to Handsome Dude, all while snuggling Peter the Cat.
Which is interesting since I made a new law that Peter the Cat was no longer allowed in the house.
My authority is feared by my children. Obviously.
Daisy Mae reading to Little Dude:
Why, yes! I am glad you noticed! Little Dude does have chocolate all over his face.
This is a result of one of two things:
1) His mother did not notice
2) His mother does not care.
You pick.
Alright! If you could be so kind as to tell me what your think the mystery produce is, I would be much obliged.
Later, dudes.
A real gardener would have something like this: http://pinterest.com/pin/143200463121051821/
Obvi.
Well, exCUSE me. 😉
HAHA! Pinterest is ruining everyone’s life again!
It’s broccoli or cauliflower. Definitely not watermelon. 🙂
Sorry, I don’t have a clue what those plants are, my last garden was two cherry tomato plants in a Home Depot dry wall bucket. 🙂
Mystery plant is either broccoli or cauliflower. It doesn’t matter which one because according to the maniacs at my house one is the green trees and one is the trees with snow. Trees with snow are less popular than plain green ones if you were wondering. 🙂
yeah. I don´t know.
But I am jealous of all those berries! My favorites!
I wouldnt know because Walmart cuts the leaves off my veggies, and thats as close as I get to the picking process, picking them out of a bin and sitting them in my cart lol.
they all look like weeds to me…sorry! i hope that hay isn’t your only weed preventer because i can tell you that it didn’t work in my yard!!!
Killing off rabbits with botulism! HAHAHAHA! GENIUS!!!
WOW… your garden looks great! Mine looks sad, 100 degree weather is killing everything no matter how much I water and the plants just do not look good enough to attempt eating.
Y’all are crazy : )
I tell you the kids will eat the sugar snap peas right off the vine! They are that good. I did it myself one time when I had a garden.
I’ve been sooooo out of the blogging loop, but I just had to say, I laughed at the Marvin Gaye reference. FUNNY!
I remember a little girl who used to love tomatoes. good luck with your plants. Happy 4th!
Not even those little grape tomatoes Costco carries?? No way.
Your plants look great–but the carrots need to be thinned. This knowledge comes from growing-up summers spent slaving in our family garden.
“Before I go, I thought I would share a couple of cute pictures of the children that I took today.”
I can’t help it, this made me giggle. I, being uber smart and all, may have read it as though you were posting cute picture of the “children that you took today”. As in you took someone’s children today, and had cute pictures of them. It was a flustering thought, but then it clicked. You took the pictures, not the children.
Number 5–did you plant radishes or beets? I’m going with radishes. But if you didn’t, then have fun figuring it out.
Since I’m the totally most awesome gardener of all time (as in, I’ve ignored my husband’s garden for 7 years except to mock him for his non-existent corn and now I’ve decided to try to have my own garden and i suddenly realized that it’s kind of fun–not that I’m any good since I hack out as many intended plants as weeds), I must tell you that your peas are going to need trellises.
Oh, yes, trellises. Vining apparatuses or apparatusi. Otherwise, those poor peas.
Why do I know this? Well, along with my garden, I am helping out at our community garden and in this community garden is the Giving Garden where we are growing produce for some food shelves.
Now, I must say these people do not want me helping out with this giving garden. It’s probably as big as your garden (alas, though, you have no one but your littles as we have a bunch of non-existant volunteers ….and some exsistant ones, too). anyway, we didn’t have trellises up for the peas for like 5 weeks, or more. Until my husband and another friend, went and pounded stakes for 2 hours in the 95 degree day at 3:00 in the afternoon with the sun beating down on them. And they strung some twine to help those peas along.
All I can say is that I’m glad they didn’t collapse.
Anyway, trellises.
Hi Taylor! As for the mystery plant, the leaves look to me like cabbage turnip , Kohlrabi (in german), a.k.a stem cabbage, turnip cabbage, or stem turnip, which the scientist loves to call “Brassica oleracea gongylodes”. But as you never planted that, I would vote for cauliflower or broccoli – LOL. And may I suggest that you get mesh-wire fences or something like that around your lovely veggie garden, if you haven’t already – because if not, the deer will walk in and eat all the plants that you so lovingly brought up. Ask me how I know… sigh… (well, if you want to look at the bright side, deer do NOT eat tomatoes, so those would probably survive – hah….).
Tomatoes>
Send them to me, I have a 14-year-old that will eat them all. OR Make pizza sauce and can it.
Marking your plants:
a. Eat lots of popsicles (or have your kids eat them) and save the sticks.
b. Write name of plant with sharpie on end of stick.
c. Stick in ground by plant.
Not as cute as the pinterest solution, but it won’t blow away and you can eat popsicles.