The Happy Hens Retirement Community

Look at me!  Posting like it ain’t no thang.  This is because I was a rebel with a capital R and only weeded two rows in the garden instead of my goal of six.

Garden!  New plan:

Weed a row.  Sprinkle with Preen.  I was advised to sprinkle the Preen and was promised that no new weeds would grow after the Preen was sprinkled.  This had better be truth because I am slowly losing my mind.

And there will be dirt permanantly in my fingernails for all eternity.

I have 28 rows left to weed and Preen.  Wish me luck!

So, let’s see.  What’s new . . .

1)  The girls have been good little weeding helpers.  It is true.  We have been taking out the cd player and listening to Adventures in Odyssey as we weed.  Good times.

2)  David got home at, wait for it . . . . 6:17pm last night!  Par-TAY!  He usually gets home at 8pm or later in the summer.  We took advantage of this rare treat, packed dinner, and hit the beach.

The girls, as if they could not be any cooler.  They found a log, named it Big Beef, and had a grand time going on “log rides.”

And, hello!  Gardening reference!  I have a Big Beef Tomato plant in my STUPID, WEEDY garden.  So, there you go.  Fun fact.

3)  While the girls went on reckless log rides, the boys went fishing with the patriarch.

They each caught two fish on their own!  No trickery on David’s part was needed.  They are true fisherboys.

4)  I caught no fish  and swam on no logs named Big Beef.  I did, however, eat red vines and was bitten by no less than 4.2 million mosquitoes.

5)  I harvested lettuce from my own garden and fed it to my family.  And they lived.

Yes.  Stand in awe.

6)  We are in the process of determining which hens are laying eggs and which hens are being freeloaders.   This is not an easy task, my friends.  We have converted some old rabbit hutches into temporary chicken coops and the little ladies have a few days to produce an egg or its, and excuse me for lack of a better term, off with their heads!

7)  Stand down, readers!  This is all my husband’s doing.  If it were up to me, I would probably own the Happy Hens Retirement Community and go into debt feeding geriatric hens.

8)  I visit said hens daily and beg, nay, plead with them to please, please, PLEASE produce an egg.  Because I am so not ready to cook a real chicken.  Oh, sure.  I cook chicken all the time.  But, you know, the normal ones from Costco that come all clean and feather-free in a freezer bag.

Chicken Farming.  Not for the faint of heart.

9)  I am getting a bit nervous about teaching Handsome Dude kingergarten.  Here’s a little sampling on the dudes and their differences.

Handsome Dude (age 5)

Me:  Dude, let’s practice writing your letters.

HD:  Ok!

Me:  Let’s write your name.

HD:  OK!

Me:  Oh!  You are holding your pencil wrong again.  Let’s try it this wa-

HD:  IT’S TOO HARD!  I CAN’T DO IT!  NO!  NO!  NO!

And the boy is in the fetal position under the table.

True story.

Little Dude (age 4)

LD:  Mom!  What should I spell?

Me:  Um, bat.

LD:  Ok.  B . . . A . . . T !  What’s next?  Oh, I know!  ZOO.  Z . . .O . . . O because two “O’s” say “ooooh” right, Mom?  RIGHT?  MOM!  RIGHT?

Me:  Right.

LD:  Mom!  M . . . O . . . M!

Raise your hand if you think I should trick the boys into thinking it is really Little Dude starting kindergarten this year?

10)  To put my mind at ease, I started the boys on a little Math U See today.

I am happy to report that BOTH boys did excellent and got a 100%

Handsome Dude

Little Dude

Lest any of you other homeschooling marms think I am all that and a bag of chips, please, let me inform you that I will probably forget all about my new plans to teach the boys math until mid-September.

Remember.  There is still weeding to be done.

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19 Responses to The Happy Hens Retirement Community

  1. Mindee says:

    There are many reasons I do not homeschool? But the #1 reason? My son. I fear that one of us would die.

    But I’m sure you’ll do great!

  2. Amy says:

    I just wanted to comment that the ads on the side of the page are wee smart (did I use that right?). How do they know I do triathlons? I don’t and I know you don’t post about such activities. But, alas I have triathlon wetsuit ads on the side of your blog. This internet is too smart for me. Oh and you should totally trick the boys. That is my prof. opinion. 🙂

    • nina the mom says:

      That is too funny. I guess my internet knows that there is no way in Hades that I will ever participate in a triathlon (except handing out water bottles at the Iron Man in Kona). The ad for me was a “Read & Build” ad for Legos. What can I say, I do like the Legos. 🙂
      <3 <3 <3

      • Rachel says:

        My add was for some type of dish washing soap. I hate doing dishes with the passion of a thousand suns. Apparently some odd sort of karma is at work in the blogging universe.

  3. Lisa Buchanan says:

    Did you know you can listen to Adventures in Odyssey online on the Focus on the Family website? I think there’s a new one every. single. day. I know this because I do my “Bible quiet-time” in the mornings trying to tune it out every. single. day. (I actually like Adventures in Odyssey though.)

  4. Angie W. says:

    Hmm. If you figure out what to do with Handsome Dude for school, please share. My second son does the exact same thing. Fetal position and soul shaking sobs before we’ve even attempted something. Anything from writing an “h” to picking up his Legos to putting clothes in the hamper can bring it on. Sigh. The drama is so thick I can’t even get thru to break the “task” down into more manageable parts–although I don’t know how much smaller a job I can make “put your underwear in the hamper”.

  5. Becky Fouts says:

    Taylor, the preen will work great, but put it on immediately after you weed, within minutes! and be generous with it! You are amazing, you do more everyday than most of us do all month!

  6. Joyce says:

    I think the great thing about homeschooling is there is no rush…you can work with HD in the way and timing that suits you both best. You’ll be great-no worries!

    There is no way I could eat a chicken I raised and killed and, gulp, plucked, myself. It’s actually the plucking that would get to me more than the wringing of the neck. Even the chicken cleaned and wrapped in cello at the market kinda gives me the shivers before it’s fully cooked. Good luck! I think teaching kindergarten to HD will be the easier of these two tasks : )

    • B says:

      How about skinning the chickens……….they sell a lot of chicken in the store that is boneless and SKINLESS.
      Oh, and that MUST be the lumberjacks job……give him a gallon plastic bag and he can put it in frig after he gets done
      then you can go out and get it after it is cold and will be more like store bought. 😉

  7. I read a great book … http://www.amazon.co.uk/Better-Late-Than-Early-Education/dp/0883490498/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1342095829&sr=8-1 … it will RE-EEEEEEEEEALLY help you relax about HD.

    Midas (5) has been slow in this area too, whereas May-As (2) is already recognising her letters. If it’s not his bag at the moment, then don’t do it! Be flexible, adapting to his individual needs. Otherwise, what’s the point of home educating them!? Chill out and enjoy the ride!

    p.s. (If you want to exchange ideas for Midas and HD you can always PM me?!)

  8. I read a great book … http://www.amazon.co.uk/Better-Late-Than-Early-Education/dp/0883490498/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1342095829&sr=8-1 … it will RE-EEEEEEEEEALLY help you relax about HD.

    Midas (5) has been slow in this area too, whereas May-As (2) is already recognising her letters. If it’s not his bag at the moment, then don’t do it! Be flexible, adapting to his individual needs. Otherwise, what’s the point of home educating them!? Chill out and enjoy the ride!

    p.s. (If you want to exchange ideas for Midas and HD you can always PM me?!)

    • I have NO idea why this appeared twice. Clearly I like to repeat myself. Or perhaps it was deja vu?!

      • Lisa Buchanan says:

        I’m a fan of this idea! I’ve never read the book ~ heard of it ~ but never read it. I held my kindergartener back and it was amazing what one years wait did for him. He actually finished kindergarten and started 1st grade in March. Holding boys back is brilliant.

  9. Jill says:

    Your homeschool experiences are similar to mine, except that I’m usually the one that’s curled up in a fetal position under the table.

    I was shocked when you commented on my blog that you’ve never had homemade ice cream! How could this travesty occur, especially with you being such a pioneer woman and a bag of chips? But then I remembered your liking for moose track ice cream in a waffle cone. Why sit for an hour (or three) making homemade when you can have someone just hand you a cone full?

  10. nina the mom says:

    I once nannied for a family with 5 children (3 homeschooled). One day they decided to start raising chickens. One chicken became so fat that its legs broke and it was decided that it would become dinner. The family was wealthy and had several people who helped manage their beautiful home, yard, cement pond, etc. The Lacky, as he was called, was deemed the chicken slayer. This rough and tough 20-something boy came in the kitchen nearly barfing, white as a sheet, asking me how to pull the remaining chicken feathers out of the carcass, because it was taking forever using needle-nose pliers. I decided he should burn them off. I am very curious as to how you will proceed in removing the feathers. I need to know, in case anyone ever asks me this in the future.
    <3 <3 <3
    ps. I would cry if my husband asked me to de-feather or skin a chicken.

  11. I'm Erin says:

    Maybe you should teach the boys together, since LD seems ready. They might work better as a team? It will save you time in the long run….

  12. datenutloaf says:

    Home grown free range chickens are worth a lot. But I’d only eat my own if a professional butcher showed me how to accomplish this safely and cleanly. Wonder how all the pioneers managed? They likely had someone show them. Our ancesters were truly amazing, the more I learn the more I respect them. Good luck with your weeds and perhaps give yourself a break from homeschooling for the summer. Every single day the kids mature a little more.

  13. Missy says:

    I know nothing of homeschooling. But, it would seem that 28 rows of weeds left and 2 completed make for good math material? Or, you could have them count weeds as they pull them? That would be good-for-you material.

    Again, we might be kin. I was bitten by no less than 3.5 million mosquitoes this weekend.

    And, I’m rooting for the hens. May each lay an egg or three. Or, may your dream of a Retirement Community for Hens be realized. Before their demise is.

  14. Gianna says:

    Back to my garden that isn’t even close to being the same size as yours.

    I’m in a community garden, so everyone can see my weeds.

    You are NOT! Sooooo, it doesn’t matter if you have some weeds. Nobody can judge you for it. Well, except David and I don’t know how tough of a critic he is. I would like to give you some weeding advice (remember this is from my expertise as a knowledged and learned farmer myself of just this summer), take a hoe at them and try not to hack your actual garden plants, but just hack away at it. Seriously. Just go nuts! hack hack hack. And whatever you can hack out, that’s great. And whatever you miss, breathe easy. Your plants will be okay.

    Because remember, I’m the garden whisperer and I totally know what I’m talking about (since I have planted lettuce and sweet corn in my plot)!

    You are going to have to pluck a chicken? WHAT?
    Or as my 2 year old would say, “WHAT!?”

    Okay, I so don’t want to live your life. EVER!

    I am running in circles screaming!

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