Remember that fateful day early last week when I informed all y’all that I was going to start homeschooling early?
The following post will illustrate why that was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad idea.
1) I wake up in the morning full of hope and promise. The day is fresh! My kids are asleep! It’s going to be a good day.
2) Out of the corner of my eye, I see the fruit.
Oh, yes. The fruit.
This is all the fruit we bought this weekend. On a whim, if you will. Also this weekend, we went to church, cleaned our rental twice (yes! TWICE!), went to the fair, and helped David’s parents with yard work.
We are busy bees. Who buy fruit when we have no business buying fruit.
3) I decide to move school to the good ol’ kitchen table so I can deal with the canning of the pears. This is a brilliant move on my part.
4) All the kids start math. Daisy Mae takes over the teaching of the boys and all is well as I peel and slice pears.
5) Fun Fact: I am not even certain my family likes pears. It is a good thing I have 30 pounds of them to feast on.
6) Handsome Dude has explosive *ahem* diarrhea, so he is off the hook after math.
7) This is good news for the homeschool schedule. For I don’t have time to teach him why the word “nap” it not sounded out like: “UM . . . . TRUCK???”
This is bad news for Mt. Laundry.
8) Little Dude, in all his preciousnesss, asks if he can go collect eggs. I say yes! I am nice and accommodating like that. Plus, it removes him and his shouting voice from the kitchen, aka classroom, aka pear canning central.
9) Unbeknownst to me, Little Dude decides to also visit the hens and goes into the coop. He is unable to latch the gate behind him, decides it is not something he needs to worry about. He comes back inside, where I am canning pears and blissfully unaware of the sixty, oh yes, SIXTY, escaping hens.
More on that later.
10) Yes. I have SIXTY hens. Don’t you?
11) Also. Little Dude came back with zero eggs. It is a good thing he is cute.
12) Math is done. Silent Reading is done. History is done.
Pears are done.
13) And when I say pears are “done,” I mean that one batch was done. I still have about 6 quarts left to can.
14) And lets not forget the SIXTY pounds of peaches my husband found this weekend for a smokin’ deal on the Craigslist.
15) It would appear my husband enjoys the number SIXTY, would it not?
16) We actually probably do have SIXTY rabbits, too. Maybe more. I am in denial about my life half the time.
17) I start to clean up the kitchen and transition to lunch time while Daisy Mae and the boys inform me that they plan to go out and dig for gold.
18) That’s right. Gold.
19) Before they go, I inform them they must put away the clean laundry. Daisy Mae looks out my bedroom window and shouts:
“ALL the chickens are out, Mom!”
20) Little Dude heads downstairs for a timeout.
“Did I made a BAD choice, Mom? Huh, MOM? HUH? HUH?”
21) The older three go on a chicken rescue mission. The dog is napping in the loft so there were no chicken fatalities today. Amen.
22) Little Dude gets lectured, once again, on making GOOD CHOICES, and he joins his sister and brother outside to pan for gold.
23) Sweet Pea, who is 9 now and above such trivial games, took a chair to the back deck to read in peace.
24) Before I start lunch, I decide to go start watering the garden. I pass by the little gold prospectors who have found no less than 18 shovels, 10 buckets, and 3 toy dump trucks. They have gathered several ziplock bags full of dirt and have declared their wealth for all to hear.
25) As I am in the garden, I see a flash of white. There are two fugitive baby rabbits in my garden. This will not do. Do you know how much time I spent WEEDING that garden. Them rabbits are NOT eating my produce.
26) I grab the trusty fishing net and chase the rabbits around the garden like a normal, sane person.
27) They escape and hide somewhere else. I wash my hands of it.
28) I feed my cherubs lunch and received no complaints whatsoever. I throw dinner in the crock pot. David will be home by 6 tonight. Glory!
29) I send the gold diggers outside to clean up their mess and help water the pets.
30) I go gather the eggs and decide to try and pull some more carrots. Because, apparently, I feel I have time to can carrots, too.
31) ?
32) Those rascally rabbits are in the garden again! I call the troops over and we all go into full-attack mode, each of us armed with a fishing net.
33) After about a half of an hour, the two rabbits are safely back in their pens.
34) Tank, the dog, is, thankfully, still napping in the loft. It’s a shame he is so lazy. He could have had a delightful feast today.
35) I decide I have no business harvesting carrots and come inside. On my way in, I see a horrible severed, dead mouse that Peter that Cat has slaughtered for me.
36) I did not take a picture. You are welcome.
37) Little Dude, helpful as ever, decide to do do some harvesting of his own before coming inside.
38) Rest time for boys! Hallelujah!
39) I get Language Arts done with the girls and start to listen to Daisy Mae read when I hear strange sounds from downstairs.
40) The boys, instead of napping, are playing in their sisters’ room and spraying each other with Cherry Body Spray.
41) “Did I made a bad choice AGAIN, Mom? Huh? MOM? HUH? MOM?”
42) It is now 4pm. We have finished with school and I allow the children to go upstairs to watch a show. I have two hours before my beloved comes home. I decide I will read my book for a few minutes.
43) Yes! At times, I do read for leisure. Thank you.
44) My beloved calls. He is on his way home early and how would I feel about going blackberry picking?
45) Close the book. Finish fixing dinner. David comes home, we eat quickly and rush out to the mountains to pick some berries.
46) Because I have time to deal with berries.
47) We picked at least three gallons, maybe more. We were giddy. GIDDY, I tell you.
48) We got home at 9pm. I am sitting here this morning and I have no time to blog. I have to wash and freeze those blackberries, can some more fruit, teach some school, and I promised the kids I would take them to the water park today.
49) It is a busy life-but we do have a lot of fun. I love my husband and kids with all my heart and we have a blast together.
Most of the time.
50) Happy Tuesday!
I’m feeling uber lazy sipping coffee and reading your recap. I don’t have any canning to do but there are some bathrooms that need cleaning and I suppose I have to think about what’s for dinner.
Forget the canning…blackberry cobbler-yum!
so, so funny! i love your life!
Dang. Now you’re going and picking bunches of The Blackberries which I love even more than The Huckleberries. You lead such a charmed life.
Hahahahahaha…
If you haven’t already processed all of your fruit, you should try making some pear butter and peach butter. Super yummy and easy. I’ll be making some with the 24 pounds of peaches that will sitting in our kitchen this weekend.
you always make me feel so lazy!
I am exhausted just reading that!
Man! I’m exhausted just reading this. Me? I spent this afternoon covered in mud and water as I was cleaning out drains. Lovely.
HILARIOUS!!! That is all.
You make me tired just reading about your day!
WHY don’t you want the dog feasting on the chickens/rabbits? I mean other than the blood, gore and tragic wails of your children it seems like a fine way to both feed the dog and rid yourself of excess livestock. Multi-tasking!
Well I cut up some veggies to put in the crockpot to make sloppy joes, I am done lol. Wow you are a busy little bee.
I imagine you sleep well… So busy. You will receive a crown in Heaven!
I would have said, “Take the kids and go!”
And then I would have read or slept or done something all for myself.
You are a better woman than I!
Glad you’re back. blogwise. Missed you. Love pears. I would use them as a centerpiece they’re so pretty. I’m in awe of your canning/teaching/farming/ranching/mothering prowess. I used to bake bread and make shirts and felt puffed up. But you…are a hot air balloon by comparison.
perhaps u shd adopt me. LJ can build a room (with light) and I’ll do some of the non-food chores like laundry, mending and petting the cat
Your kindness in #36 is overwhelming.
Your life sounds full to bursting. And exhausting. I’m fairly certain I need a nap after reading all of that.