This may come as a shock to everyone, but I, Teller, am feeling stressed with the homeschool. I know, I know. You guys all think I have it all together.
But I don’t.
Yesterday was charming. I was planning on taking the kids on a field trip to a museum. Therefore and henceforth, we had to squeeze all of our studies in before lunch.
This is no small feat!
So, as I was juggling my three pupils at once, I was noticing the state of my house. I find it quite odd that I can clean everyday, and yet, my house looks like a tornado ran through it within hours.
It is clear that I have superb home and time management skills. Readers, take note.
Books on the ground. Hangers behind the couch. Socks on the floor. Kitten litter spilled in the laundry room. Dead flies on the windowsill. Toothpaste on the sink. Toothpaste on the counter. Toothpaste on the drawer. Toothpaste on the carpet. Gum in the carpet. Something sticky on the floor. Laundry pile going strong. Fingerprints on the dishwasher. Fingerprints on the oven. Fingerprints on the refrigerator. Papers all over the counter. Hair clips behind the door.
I am making my home a haven. Obviously.
I was about to just forget the field trip, because, clearly, I needed to spend the afternoon teaching my boys how to properly equip their toothbrush with toothpaste instead of spreading toothpaste around the entire bathroom . . . but, alas. I was probably going to the spend the afternoon cleaning and feeling cranky, only to end up with a messy house tomorrow.
So. I put on a clean shirt, curled my hair, and put in some big earrings. I am convinced that a gal can feel like a person so long as the smell of hairspray is in her hair and excessively large earrings are dangling from her lobes.
Just make sure to use hairspray instead of glass cleaner. Ask me how I know.
Getting out of the house was a superb choice. It is amazing how much you don’t care anymore once you are not living in your own nightmare of filth.
We went to the museum.
We got out of the house with all kids dressed in clean clothes AND all put on the right way. The two in glasses actually have their glasses. And the girls have clipboards. For to take notes.
Sadly, Little Dude had his shoes on the wrong feet. But I am going to call it a win.
After the museum, we went to our rental.
Confused? Reading this post might clear things up. But I make no promises.
In a nutshell, David and I bought a house that was a complete dump about 9 years ago. We spent 7 years gutting it and fixing it up. Instead of selling if when we moved, we chose to turn it into a vacation rental as it is in a good location in town. Currently, we have a love/hate relationship with this house.
When I have 7 beds to wash, I hate it. When the house is clean and I am all done, I love it.
So, the kids and I stopped by the rental because, surprisingly enough, I needed to finish up washing some bedding. While we were waiting on the loads to finish, we walked to the park.
I stopped at got myself a latte. That’s right. A fancy, city coffee to go with my hairprayed curls and large earrings.
The latte was $4.19.
That is absurd.
We walked to the park. Handsome Dude wowed me with his skills. Or skillz. Whichever you prefer.
Just behind him is the library. The girls think they are all that AND a bag of chips if I give them the library card and let them go peruse on their own.
The boys decided to swing.
Handsome Dude has learned to pump on his own. This is glorious for me, as I am so over pushing my kids on swings.
Kidding! Or am I . . .
Little Dude, sadly, does not know how to swing. He was a bit miffed about it.
Handsome Dude, the kind big brother that he is, went to help him and started to push him.
Little Dude (wailing): MMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM! He is PUSHING me! He is PUSHING me, MOM.
Me: I know. That’s what you wanted.
LD: He is PUSHING ME. *sob, tear, wail* He is SO MEAN WITH ME.
I did what any concerned and attentive mother would do.
Sipped my $4.19 latte and waved.
I cannot believe the price of a decent coffee these days. It’s criminal, practically.
Honestly $4.19 seems like a small price to pay for one’s sanity. So I tell myself.
Hang in there toots. Take as many expensive coffees as you need. Relax. You will SURVIVEEEEEEEEEE! (probably)
This brought back memories of when I was about 8 and my mum would drop my sister and I off at the library with our own library cards. Probably the best feeling in the world, haha! The library limit was 50 books each at the time and I signed out the max every time!
Did said latte have some soul to it?
Sadly,no.
Yay for the latte, expensive or not. It’s the little things in life. Amen.
Playgrounds. We moms don’t go there to play. We go to sit. Sip our lattes. Relax. No pushing of swings, no underdogs, no monster-in-the-middle, no tag. That is what Dad’s are for. No?
Yes!!
pretty day. 🙂
glad you got $4.19 worth of sanity. if that’s your salary for teaching three grade levels and keeping the washer running you’d better just enjoy it.
sadly, our baby does not like coffee -the liquid gold variety- so I am having to draw my salary elsewhere…
I can it’s been one of those days! I’m so sorry! I told my husband that sometimes it’s not about teaching them a lesson. Sometimes I just want to clean it for my own sanity.
Because if Mama ain’t happy, you know the rest.
Ah, dear teller, you can have sanity in a cup. Me, too. Let’s just say you were celebrating my birthday with me via coffee!
In Britain the government has decided that we’re all getting too fat and has started to build ‘adult playgrounds’ or ‘outdoor gyms’ next to children’s playgrounds. They think that parents are going to have a workout while their kiddies are playing!!! And no latte shops in sight! WHO ARE THEY TRYING TO KID?!?!?
Lets just call my hubby the toothpaste nazi because of that very same problem…and my kids are allergic to the regular toothpaste. At $5 for a little tube that doesn’t make them break out, he has turned into a nazi about it.
Apparently it doesn’t end… Seriously… My daughters (17 &20) had an argument that sounded a lot like your sons on the swings yesterday! I wish I had a $4.19 latte!! I just want to ground them and send them to their rooms until they both stop being butt-heads, but alas it gets tricky when one is married and has her own home! Maybe I will go find a coffee and a lark bench and ignore them from afar!
and the photo of little dude – priceless.
You’ll have to dole out toothpaste, use baking soda or make them wash without it. It’s too fun to play with like shaving cream. Let them wash with water and at bedtime Dad can dole out the toothpaste.
Your very own grandmother sprayed her hair with the spray starch several times. This is a condition of having multiple offspring. Yup, lipstick, dangling earring, hairspray, check. (sorry about all the comments). Plus you wouldn’t believe how much some major coffee retailers pay the pore lil dudes growing the coffee beans. Like 19 cents for about 23 tons of beans. disgusting greed
Homeschooling and a clean house are mutually exclusive. Perhaps you could steal away and book yourself into your rental?
One day you will look fondly back on these memories… One day, in the far, far future!
You, Teller, are a complete success. Not because you homeschool, or live in Ruralville and make all your own … stuff (foods, whatever) and care for an entire zoo full of farm animals and keep your house spotless. No, you are a success because (a) it takes a few hours for your house to become a mess after you clean it; (b) you choose not to stay in the mess, but rather get out of the house; (c) you use hairspray and big earrings when you’re going to town (this may have been the most important thing; and (d) you still remember to bring your camera and document your time with the kids.
It’s not that homeschool and a clean house are mutually exclusive. Kids and a clean house are mutually exclusive. I for one am truly impressed with you. : ) (Not that I want to live in Ruralville, take care of animals and drive a rig. Still, I’m impressed.)
$4.19 is a BARGAIN when you compare it with an hour with a therapist which is the alternative. I’d say you got a deal.
what is it with the toothpaste? I agree, how can it be everywhere?
I think the sipping and waving was wise. Considering.