We had Jason and Amy over for dinner and games last night.
Remember Jason?
Of course you do!
Having dinner with other humans is a fine time to observe just how horrible your children’s dinner manners are.
So we are eating, as you do when you have people over for dinner, and the adults are attempting to have a little convo.
Convo is how cool people, such as myself, say conversation. Try to keep up.
David: So, Amy, how do you like your new job?
Amy: Oh, it is pr-
Little Dude: HEY-HEY-HEY-HEY-HEY GUYS? GUYS?! GGGGUUUYYYYSS?
Me: Yes?
Little Dude: We have a little kitty. He is cute.
David: Is this hospital different than the one you worked at before?
Handsome Dude: Excuse me!
Amy: Well, there are a few differences, but it re-
Handsome Dude: I SAID EXCUUUUUUSE ME!
Me: What?
Handsome Dude: We have two cats. Our little kitty is Mr. Poppers. Our big kitty is Peter.
Me: David, you look tired. Are you going to be up for a game tonight?
David: I don’t know. Depends on how exciting the game is.
Sweet Pea: I hope we can play the game!
Daisy Mae: I can do cartwheels!
Little Dude: HEY-HEY-HEY-HEY-HEY-HEY-HEY GUYS?!? Guys!
David: Quiet you are being rude. Say “excuse me.”
Little Dude: EXCUSE ME!
David: Yes?
Little Dude is now standing in his chair and, for reasons unaware, is stroking Jason’s hair.
Because that is normal.
Little Dude: Our outside kitty attacks mice!
Me: That’s fantastic. Why are you touching Jason’s hair?
Little Dude: I not know.
Me: What are chairs for?
Little Dude: Sitting!
Me: Then let’s sit.
Jason: I think we are going to go on a little road trip this weekend.
Me: Cool, where?
Jason: Oh, well Amy’s never been to-
Little Dude: HEY-EXCUUUUSE ME, JASON!
Jason: Yes?
Little Dude is now standing in the chair, stroking Jason’s hair and basically 1/4″ away from Jason’s face.
Little Dude: When Peter wants to kill a mouse, he goes like this:
(Little Dude begins to creep along the floor, almost as if he were a kitten stalking a mouse.)
Jason: That’s awesome.
Me: Dude. Sit down.
David: Jason, you better take Amy to-
Handsome Dude: Peter is the bestest cat!
David: Don’t interrupt. It’s rude.
Me: Has anyone noticed that the boys are desperately trying to steer the conversation towards cats?
Jason: I’m kind of getting that impression.
Little Dude is standing up and stroking Jason’s hair. Oddly enough.
Little Dude (shouting as always): PETER THE CAT ATTACKS OUR CORN IN THE GARDEN JASON! OUR CORN! CORN!
Then Little Dude grabs Jason’s water glass, with the hand that is not stroking his hair, and guzzles every last drop of Jason’s water.
Then he slams the empty glass down and dribbles a little bit of excess water on Jason’s arm.
Little Dude: I fink that when Mr. Poppers is big, he will kill the mices, too.
Me: Awesome. Sit down.
Today’s blessings:
* Being able to get together with family
* My kids have a very loving extended family who seems to enjoy them, in spite of themselves.
*My boys are apparently very passionate about cats. And touching Jason’s hair.
Do you remember the days when you used to be able to hold an adult conversation uninterrupted by kids?
Me neither … *sigh*
This is hilarious! Reminds me of why my children were little. Little charmers they are! You are one lucky mama Taylor! Kudos for not yelling at them 🙂
it’s all jason’s fault for not purring!
COW!
I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. That sounds exactly like my little guy. You should have heard his conversation with my assistant pastor yesterday. Lets just say it is a good thing he has 4 kids and home schools too…
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,
No hair stroking here, but that could be our house!
so hilarious. I have tears in my eyes.
Maybe he will grow up to be an animal groomer? We have the same problem with the keesters not staying in the chairs. Sigh…
such a fun blog. I love it
This is one of my favorites now, I love it, reminds me of my son when he was little, (sigh, where has the time gone?)…
“Little Dude is now standing in his chair and, for reasons unaware, is stroking Jason’s hair.” You’re a poet and you didn’t even know it!