It all started with Little Dude.
The lad was looking through a farm magazine, as most preschoolers do. He was reading it intently and very proud of the fact that we, like the farmers in the aforementioned magazine, have chickens.
But then he saw the page on pigs. And the lectures began.
“Dad! Look! Look! We need pigs? See, dad? See? We NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED them.”
Well, we all know that David is stingy with the farm animals. As is evidenced by our 70-100 rabbits and 50ish chickens.
So, David has been talking about getting a pig. The key word in that sentence being “a,” mind you.
Then he thought about his decision and decided it was not good for pig to be alone.
So, he decided we would get two pigs and no more.
You all see where this is headed, don’t you?
I would like you to take note of these, the flowers my husband, yes, MY husband, brought me last night.
You have to squint to see it, but these flowers clearly say:
“To my loving wife. Please don’t freak out when I inform you that I am getting SEVEN pigs tomorrow. It is a smokin’ deal on Craigslist and I just cannot resist. It is not in my nature. Please take these flowers as a token of my gratitude.”
I cannot help but wonder what life would be like if Little Dude had not taken it upon himself to read farming magazines for leisure.
So. Today, David is reconfiguring the garden into a pig pen. Because most gardens double as pig pens. Clearly.
Little Dude was beside himself with excitement this morning over the fact that pigs, his dream animal, were coming on this very blessed day.
Little Dude: Pigs! Pigs!
Handsome Dude: Yup! And we are going to feed them and feed them and take them to the butcher.
Little Dude (angry): NO!
Handsome Dude: Yes. We eat pigs, Cokey.
Little Dude (still angry): NO! NO! NO! You are mean and rude!
Handsome Dude: It’s ok! Because God can make more pigs!
Little Dude: We are NOT eating pigs!
*sob, wail, sob*
So, I have to explain that, yes, we are going to eat the pigs. Well, I am probably not, but that is beside the point.
Meat gives me the pee pee shivers. Especially when I know the animal from whence it came.
Me: All our meat comes from animals.
LD (crying. Precious to my heart.): No!
Handsome Dude: Yes! Cows give us trees!
Me: What?
HD: Trees!
Me: No.
HD: Yes.
Me: No.
HD: Yes! They gives us trees like a boy-trees sandwich.
Allow me to enlighten. The lad loves grilled cheese sandwiches. Yet, he feels it is unfair to call them GIRL cheese sandwiches, so he calls them BOY cheese. Also, apparently he cannot pronounce cheese and says “trees” instead.
Go homeschool!
So, I tried to console Little Dude and he is wee upset. But such is life.
Today’s Blessings.
Oh, boy.
*Flowers! I got flowers!
*We saved money on fencing by using the garden as a pig pen.
*I talked David into installing LOCKS on all animal gates so we can hopefully cut down on all renegade, fugitive animals.
*I got new hairspray. I’ve been out for a month. So, that’s something.
*Apparently, our freezer will be full of pork. And the freezers of our loved ones as well.
*Now pork gets to be added to the list of things I cannot eat.
*I wonder if I can pressure can pork, like the chicken?
*Hmmmm. Let’s not and say we did.
*Scrubbing Bubbles really helps get your shower clean. That was pretty exciting for me this week.
*Fall scented candles. They make me so happy.
*Little Dude has yet to ask for a cow. This is good, because I am not ready to give up dairy products yet.
Later, dudes.
I will give you a dollar if you will stop showing that picture of the pressure canned chicken. Talk about some pee-pee shivers.
seriously. I’ll double that offer. 😉
I was wondering when pigs would arrive. Oh my. Is the garden far away from your house? If not, you may be investing in more fall smelling candles very soon.
In high school my brother has a large sow named Beatrice. We had her bred and she had 13 piglets. Yes, they are kinda’ cute, but hate to warn ya’, they stink and they get out and they eat the wooden fence if you don’t feed them enough.
It’s also hard to chase piglets back into the barn in high heels if you are dressed up and on the way to work.
My best advice? Feed them well and don’t wear high heels. Just. In. Case.
well it certainly was nice of you to weed that pig pen all summer! let us know when you get started building the barn that the pigs will need for shelter. can your plate be anymore full? you are a much better woman that I!
This is fun. This is very fun.
Haha, my brother used to call them boy cheese sandwiches too because girls had germs and he didn’t want to eat girl germy sandwiches. Your blog makes me laugh out loud!
AHHHHH. The chicken!!!!! I will give you 2 dollars not to show it again.
Our friend up here raises pigs each year and then butchers them for meat. They are quite the creatures…good luck.
I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad that we live in town.
I used to want to live in the country like I did growing up.
But now –thanks to YOU and only YOU Taylor–I cannot express the appreciation I have for living in TOWN!
Thank you for making my life better!
Looks like your blog is loading properly now! I LOVE the “sign of the flowers”!!! At least David got them for you BEFORE he brought home the pigs, which I look forward to seeing once again in the next post…
Oh. my gosh. I am a farm girl. But you are NOT. Well, at least you WEREN’T. And all I can say is you WILL receive some stars in your crown just based on the tales that you tell.
Quite well I might add.
Thanks for the laugh!
7 is a nice number. However, in an effort to stave off further pee-pee shivers for each of us who detest the pictures of the Canned Parts of Things, I will offer $3.
oh wow. pigs, huh?
Well the good news is this: you can light a bunch of fall scented candles around your house and pretend that there are no such things as pigs and that these mythical creatures are not stomping around and wallowing in your garden.
I’d skip the pig canning, too. Just ’cause.
Maybe you can get a fancy meat grinder and sausage stuffer and have yourself a merry little sausage business. In case you weren’t sure what to do with all the free time you have.
Oh, here’s a little cheer for ya. Yesterday I heard about people who raise pigeons (you know the most disgusting bird in the universe) for FOOD… as in TO EAT.
All of a sudden pigs don’t seem so bad, do they?
<3 <3 <3
Anyone else see the episode on Criminal Minds about the people eating pigs? And I’ll double the $3 offer.
Someone send this farmer lady some extra-large canning labels!!