We started back to school on Monday. We were supposed to head to town and go to our homeschool co op, but, alas.
I could not get my car out of the driveway.
Unfortunate, yes it was. So I had to break it to the children that they would be doing regular school instead. Oh, for the horror of it all. Daisy Mae was murdering me with her eyes the entire morning.
After a bit, she took a break from murdering me with her eyes and looked up at me all weepy-like and said:
“Can we eat our lunches that we packed for co op at our desks?”
I, being the fab mother that I clearly am, obliged.
Redemption!
The kids were ecstatic and Handsome Dude showed me his apple, to which I replied:
“Awesome Sauce!”
I don’t know why. I just said it.
Then Daisy Mae (shockingly) whined:
“I want applesauce!”
And I informed her there was no applesauce and she was mad that I might be giving her brother applesauce and not her and blah blah blah, such is life with these people.
I wash my hands of it.
So, we were able to make it through school, even though we all loathed Mother. I went upstairs to start prepping dinner when my boys started shouting that someone was plowing our driveway.
I looked out the window, and our neighbor, Buzz, was plowing for us. The boys already think Buzz is a superhero, on account of him sharing his name with Mr. Lightyear from Toy Story and all. So, you can imagine how esteemed Buzz is now in the eyes of the boys.
As soon as Buzz was finished, the boys bundled up and got out their toy tractors and started “hauling” snow in our driveway.
And is that not precious? I ask you?
There she is. My poor stuck minivan. You can see where Buzz plowed on one side and where the snow is un-plowed on the other side.
I never thought I would say this, but I totes miss my Excursion. I am not sure what we were thinking, getting a minivan and all.
Oh, well.
On Tuesday, Handsome Dude had his first basketball practice. And life could not be any more exciting for him that it was at that moment.
That’s him on the end with his back turned to the camera. At least we know that if all else fails, I can rely on my photography skills to earn a few bucks in life.
He made lots of baskets and was on cloud nine all the way home.
***
The other day, I had to use the bathroom. Like most humans do. As I was in the bathroom, there was mass pounding on the door.
This is not uncommon.
When I finally opened the door, the boys barged in and informed me they must brush their teeth NOW.
Why, by all means!
As they were brushing, Little Dude got a funny look on his face.
LD: Mom. What is that smell?!
Me: Um, well. I went to the bathroom.
(Don’t judge, people. You do it, too.)
LD: But why does it smell?
Me: Because. It does.
LD: But, Mom! It smells like poop!
Me: Well. That’s because it is.
LD: No, Mom. Girls don’t poop.
Me: Yes, they do.
LD: No, they don’t.
Me: Yes, they do.
LD: Mom. Stop. They don’t.
So, there you go. An update on school and basketball, as well as a public service announcement that girls do not, in fact, poop.
You are welcome.
G’day.
Holla Buzz! 100 meaningless points from a reader he doesn’t know for helping out his neighbor!
Dying of laughter over the poop comment!
When my son was little, he told his friend that the exhaust fan in our bathroom was there to take the smell out of OUR house and send it over to our NEIGHBOUR’S house! (God forbid!) Hah!
Count yourself lucky that you were able to shut the door and not be joined by little people. I have a hard time going potty by myself. That is one of those things no one told me when I wanted to be a mom….might have changed my mind…
dying.
freaking dying.
hilariousness.
I believe I may have given birth to four aliens, because I can count on one hand the number of times I have been intruded upon while using the toilet in the past 12 years.
Be jealous of me for reals.
When my cousin was little I was going through a phase of using the phrase “my bad” and whenever I would pitch baseballs to him it’d turn into a misunderstanding of him being like, “no, my bat!” which is funny as a story but in real life gets super annoying fast!
Quite often my boys speculate out loud as to who caused the latest smell in our house. One time they got tired of accusing each other and accused Mom instead. My youngest got extremely offended because “Mom’s don’t fart. Ever.”
Btw, I have adult children who still come knocking on the bathroom door when I’d like a moment to myself. Just thought I’d encourage you with the knowledge that they will never leave you alone.
Ever.
I’m all caught up now! Look at you with your 3-part review!
Murdering eyes… love it! No judgement. She who doesn’t poop gets to cast the first stone.
You. Are funny.
AND you poop.
You truly have it all.
Had to giggle at the poop story. My students recently figured out that I might have gas when they put together the fact that I eat a lot of beans with what beans do to a person. Enlightenment is a priceless thing to behold.