The Purple Minivan

Well.  I hath survived my first week of college.

Yes.  That’s right.  Week one.

Aren’t you glad I have a blog?  I sure am an interesting gal.

I am happy to report that I am scoring a 25 out of a total of 26 points thus far.  I am, however, certain that if it weren’t for two young ladies residing in my home, I would have a 26 out of 26.

Allow me to elaborate.  If I may.

On Friday morn, I informed the darlings that I, The Mother, must do some schoolwork and they, The Children, must start their schoolwork on their own.

Sounds simple enough, right?

Wrong.

As I was tending to my studies, I heard the sounds of weeping and gnashing of teeth coming from the downstairs.  I left my quiz to go and assess the sitch.

I am the one in charge, after all.

Imagine my surprise when I see one of my darlings with a chair raised over her head to hit her sister.

Her reason?

Her math was hard and she needed her sister to be more quiet.

Why, yes!  By all means!  Whack your sister in the head with a chair!  That seems reasonable.

Such a peaceful family.

So, yes.  They are the reason I received a 25 out of 26.  They are to be blamed.

I am happy to report that no siblings were harmed by flying chairs during the making of this tragic morning.

***

Tonight, I was going over Little Dude’s Awana lesson with him.  Tonight’s lesson just happened to be a review, so I thought I would take this opportunity to brag a bit about my brilliant and knowledgeable boy.

Me:  What was the name of the man who was teaching by the Jordan River, telling people about the promised Savior?

LD:  Ummm?  Jesus?

Me:  No

LD:  God?

Me:  No

LD:  Oh!  I know!  Jesus AND God!

Me:  No.  John the . . . .

LD:  Drain-Ho!

Me:  (sigh)  John the Baptist, dude.  Let’s move on.  When did Nicodemus go to see Jesus?  During the night or the day?

LD:  Day!

Me:  No.

LD:  Oh!  Ask me again!

Me:  Ok.  When did Nicodemus go see Jesus?  Night or day?

LD:  Ummmm . . . . oh . . . um . . . . night?

Me:  Yes!  Jesus told Nicodemus the good news.  Who can you tell the good news to?

LD:  You need to love God.

Me:  No!  Who can you tell?  Who can you tell about God?

LD:  God!

Me:  No!  Everyone!

LD:  Oh!  Ok!

Me:  What did the men with the sick friend do when they couldn’t get into the house where Jesus was teaching?

LD:  Um.  They messed him up?

Me:  They messed the friend up?

LD:  Yes!

Me:  Um, no.

LD:  Oh!  They messed the house up!

Me:  Because they cut a hole in the roof?  Works for me!  What did Jesus do first instead of making the man well?

LD:  I not know.

Me:  He said, “Your sins are . . . “

LD:  Great!

Me:  No!  Forgiven!  Dude!  Do you listen to any of these stories?

LD:  Look I see the word “us!”  And “up!”

Me:  Yes.  Yes, you do.

***

And finally, as I was leaving for co op on this chilly morn, I noticed this dandy For Sale sign hammered to our mailbox post:

Untitled

Yes.  Those black smudges were done by yours truly.  It’s called “editing,” people.  And I am darn good at it.

Apparently while the boys were playing yesterday, they found our old “For Sale” sign that we used for our purple minivan.

Yes.  We once had a purple minivan.  Didn’t you?

Ours even had a dent in the back.  Oh, yes.

Drool if you must.

Anyways.  They somehow managed to find it, deem it necessary to post, and nail it to the mailbox.

What in the world?

This was on David’s watch.  FYI.

Alright.  I’m off to start week two of college.

Be excited.

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16 Responses to The Purple Minivan

  1. Sam says:

    I love the Awana quiz with Little Dude because I just did the same quiz with my own little guy. He answered “Jesus” for every. single. question. Even the time of day question. But he can probably name the Cubbies snack for each of the last three months!

  2. Sandy says:

    John the Drain-Ho…PRICELESS!

  3. Christina says:

    You make me laugh so!
    I am impressed that you are not only making a good grade, but attempting to do schoolwork with kids around at all.

  4. Aunt Shirl says:

    Holy Smokes Batman…those seem like really hard questions for one so young. It would take a lot of concentration to get that info out of the stories wouldn’t it??? Maybe you have SweetPea’s book??? (just kidding!!) 🙂 But they do seem hard ;-(

  5. Rachel Spin says:

    I am jealous of your snow. Trying not to be, but it’s not working.

  6. Holly says:

    Girl, you listen to me! Keep that sign up on your mailbox and move back into town. It’s getting scary weird out there.

  7. Jill says:

    Boys don’t pay any better attention as they get older so when one of my (many) guys has drifted mentally, I throw in the phrase, ” … So I ran out of the house swinging a rubber chicken over my head”. It brings them back every time.

    They still don’t listen, but they do remember that I was talking about a rubber chicken.

  8. Missy says:

    How ’bout be excited or scared? I think I’ll be saying Drain-HO in my head all day.

  9. Joyce says:

    Yes. You are most definitely an interesting gal : )

  10. Deb says:

    Dude, I AM excited! Holla!!!!!!!!

  11. B says:

    Have you seen the e magazine Alphabet Glue? It is a fine tool to fit in with homeschooling.
    You download and print it on your printer.

  12. Kendra says:

    Well…would you cringe if I said we too have had flying chairs amongst other things that “fly”.

  13. I was afraid you were going to say that the neighbors put the sign there. 🙂

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